Chapter 19 - Zane
The fire crackles loud enough to drown out most of the noise, and that’s probably the only reason this works despite the tension from before.
If we were all just standing around in silence, staring at each other like we had the other day, this get-together would’ve fallen apart before it could even really start.
Instead, there’s movement, familiar voices, and something in the air that feels mostly normal, aside from the glaringly obvious problem preventing this from being any different from our usual outings.
I lean back in my chair in the circle around the fire with a drink in my hand I haven’t touched in a while, watching as the others fall into something familiar. After the way they confronted me the other day, this feels much easier.
“Alright, I’ve decided you cheated,” Isaac says accusingly while barely resisting the urge to throw the cards in his hands.
“I didn’t cheat,” Dominic replies, completely unfazed, with a subtle grin on his face. “I just know what I’m doing.”
“You absolutely did. There’s no way you could beat me every round.”
“That just sounds like a skill issue, my friend,” he returns while gathering the deck up again.
Isaac scoffs. “You were definitely hiding a card or something.”
Eve snorts beside him, nudging his shoulder. “You’re just mad you lost.”
“I didn’t lose; I was robbed.”
“Same difference,” Dominic mutters. Then, he glances briefly at Eve, and his lips pull faintly while he easily shuffles the cards between his hands. “You should take some tips from your sister…she also knows what she’s doing.”
“Damn right I do,” she returns with her chin up and a proud smile. Then her gaze narrows slightly in Dominic’s direction. “And quit looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
She huffs out a vaguely annoyed breath, but fails to keep her own amusement from creeping up to the surface. “Never mind, just deal.”
Dominic chuckles to himself, always the most pleased with himself when he can tease Eve and get under her skin. Knowing him, he likes how easily she reacts to him, and he wasn’t very subtle when asking if she would be joining us. He didn’t even bother to ask about Isaac.
Luke shakes his head, obviously used to this by now, while Caleb just watches with quiet amusement. Hunter’s off to the side, quieter than usual but not as tense as earlier, and Zeke’s leaning back, looking like he’s enjoying the show. He has always been one to get in on the fun.
For a moment, it almost feels like it did before everything got complicated. Before Naia, the bond, and before all of this started piling up.
I exhale slowly, letting my gaze drift, then I can’t stop myself from looking at her.
Naia sits across the fire, slightly off to the side and not quite part of the group, but not completely on her own either. She’s watching quietly like she’s trying to figure out where she fits in all of this, or if she even does.
A few of the others glance at her now and then, not as openly hostile as before, yet not relaxed either. They’re well aware that our connection isn’t simple, and they won’t get anywhere by encouraging me to take her elsewhere, so they deal with it. This hangout wouldn’t be happening otherwise.
Sera hasn’t said a word to her, and I doubt she will.
Fern’s asleep in her arms now, so small and completely unaware of the tension sitting just beneath the surface.
At her occasional coos, Sera rubs her back while Luke watches over them both, always vigilant and protective even while enjoying the night away.
Without a doubt, I know that Naia notices, even though she doesn’t react much. Instead, she leans back slightly with her arms resting loosely in her lap, expression neutral. She likely wants to be anywhere else, but she’s holding her ground anyway, like she always does.
Something in my chest tightens at the thought.
She shouldn’t have to do that here. She shouldn’t have to feel like an outsider just because of where she came from or the actions she once took because she was ordered to.
While I can’t exactly blame them either after everything, it still doesn’t sit right with me. It leaves my inner wolf feeling vaguely irritated and on edge, ready to step in at any point if I have to.
“Are you going to keep brooding all night, or are you actually going to join in?”
I glance over and catch Zeke watching me.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Physically, yeah,” he says simply. “But mentally, that’s debatable.”
I huff a quiet breath, not wanting any of them to focus too hard on me tonight. “I’m fine.”
“Sure you are.”
Even if he could, Zeke doesn’t push it further, and he doesn’t need to because he already knows why I’ve been quieter than usual all night.
My gaze drifts back to Naia, and without me summoning it, everything from the other day crashes into me again.
I see the woods, the chase, and the way I lost control for a second. I easily recall how I felt and how it was all far too overwhelming. Tightening my grip slightly around the bottle in my hand, I try to ground myself again.
I didn’t mean to come at her like that, and I never meant to pin her down like she was something I had to overpower instead of someone I was trying to protect. I’ve been telling her that I just want to keep her safe, and that’s what I end up doing instead.
Didn’t mean to let it get that far, but the second I realized she was gone and the moment I felt the panic tugging at the bond, something else took over.
Something I don’t usually let surface, and I hate that.
After the fact, I almost let my base urges get the best of me, having her that close and perfectly within reach.
The last thing I want is for her to feel like she has to fight me, too. Naia has had enough of that from everyone, and I’m no exception, apparently.
Exhaling slowly, I absently rub a hand against the back of my neck and try to keep myself from getting too lost in thought, but it’s a losing battle.
She said I run back in Ashford, and that wedged itself deeper under my skin than I ever should’ve allowed it to. Part of me knows there’s some truth to it, regardless of claiming otherwise.
I left Wraith Peak to join the military. I left everything behind and didn’t look back. I never tried to fix anything, and I never tried to change it either. I left because I couldn’t handle the pack dynamics anymore, and I built something new instead.
Regardless, I wiped my hands of it, and Naia tried to do the same thing. She tried to run straight back into the fire like it was the only option she had, and that nearly sent me over the edge.
She might see it as me being controlling, but I don’t want that for her. I don’t want her stuck in that cycle, in that place, and trapped as that version of herself. I don’t want her to assume that’s all there is for her, and I sure as hell don’t want her pulling a me, as selfish as that may be.
Maybe that’s not my call to make, but now it’s not just her problem. It’s ours, whether we like it or not.
The bond hums faintly under my skin, like it’s agreeing, or reminding me that it’s there. Now, it’s an inevitable thing that exists between us, and running won’t do anything to stop it.
As Naia watches the others, she subtly moves in place and pushes a strand of dark hair back, gaze settling somewhere distant as she keeps to herself.
She looks restless, like something wild that has been contained for too long. I know she’s holding something back and is probably still pissed at me. Can’t blame her, yet I wish I could feel something warmer from her. Something that will let me know this thing isn’t one-sided.
“Zane.”
I look up, catching Isaac’s eye this time.
“You’re up.”
“For what?”
“You know the rules,” he says, shuffling the cards now. “If you’re too quiet, you’re getting roped in for a hand or two.”
“No idle minds,” Dominic adds with a grin.
I groan under my breath. “Not tonight.”
“Oh, come on,” Dominic counters, crossing his arms. “You’re the host, which means you don’t get to skip out.”
“We’ve all suffered Dom’s bad jokes long enough. It’s your turn.”
At that, Dominic scoffs and nudges Eve, but he’s good-natured about it.
I shake my head. “Absolutely not.”
“Coward,” Isaac says flatly.
“Careful,” I mutter.
He just smirks, not even remotely phased. “Then prove me wrong.”
The others laugh quietly at the challenge, and the tension eases just a fraction more, even if it’s at my expense. I hesitate, then sigh. “Fine.”
As much as I don’t feel like entertaining the usual antics, I push myself up and step closer to the fire until I’m within reach to join their game.
“You won’t regret it,” Isaac says as he starts to deal, more pleased now.
“I already do.”
The others chuckle, and even Naia’s attention shifts slightly. She’s not fully engaged, but watching, and it’s enough for me to feel it.
For a moment, I wonder what she’s thinking, and what this all looks like from her side.
I wonder if any of this feels sustainable to her, or if it all just looks like something she doesn’t belong in. The thought lingers longer than it should.
Urging myself to focus on the game, I let them drag me into it.
But even as I do, and even as the conversation picks up again while the fire crackles louder and laughter breaks through it, some of my attention stays locked on her.
It’s constant, and something I can’t shake regardless of how hard I try.
No matter how present I try to be for the others, she’s still there at the edge of it, holding her ground and bracing herself for anything.
A small, persistent part of me wants to pull her out of that space and to close the distance. I want to get her alone to talk and figure this out as soon as possible… not later, when things calm down. I want it now.
But I don’t move, and I don’t try to push any boundaries yet. I almost lost control around her the other day, and I have the feeling she won’t take kindly to it if I do it again.
Instead, I stay where I am and let the night play out. I let the others have this moment since I can’t say how long this brief reprieve will last, even if my mind isn’t fully in it.
Everything feels like it’s hanging in a fragile balance, and for now, this is the closest thing to normal we’ve had in a while.