Chapter 12 - Caleb
Ignoring the bond is slow, agonizing torture.
It sits heavily in my chest, tugging me toward her even when I’m half-asleep.
Every instinct I have wants to reach across the room, pull her close, and bury my face in her neck until that ache finally stops.
More than that, I don’t just want to feel her body, but I need to feel claimed by her in return.
As overwhelming as those urges feel, I don’t move, and I don’t attempt to sway her.
Lila’s comfort sits far higher than my own on the hierarchy I’ve constructed in my mind, regardless of how sweet and tempting her scent is to me, and I’m not willing to sacrifice that comfort just to feel release.
Still on the narrow couch while the blue, hazy light of dawn pours into the cabin, I keep as still and quiet as I can manage. It doesn’t do anything to soothe that deep-seated hunger in me, and in all honesty, it only gets worse.
But this is the price of the damage I caused, and the price of forcing her into this union out of necessity and instinct. It wasn’t like I came up with this out of nowhere, given the obvious pull that had existed between us before, but I know the timing is less than ideal.
And I know that even now, she wants this too, she just can’t accept it yet. The wounds have been reopened for her, and she hasn’t had the time to process anything since I’ve returned.
Until the day comes when she decides I’m not half the monster she thinks I am, I’ll take the suffering.
Lila sleeps peacefully on her side with her back to me and a hand tucked beneath her cheek. Her breathing is slow and quiet, and more than anything, she looks at ease. Unbothered by disdain for me or the reality of our situation.
My chest tightens just from looking at her, and in a way, she looks like the girl I knew before. Of course, that time hadn’t been easy for her either, and I was partly to blame.
Even acknowledging that fact tears something up inside me, but I don’t deserve to ignore it. By now, I can’t.
Inhaling again, I let her scent from across the room anchor me despite the anger I hold for myself and how I treated her in the past. I remind myself why I have to earn every scrap of trust she might one day have for me, and why I can’t rush anything, despite how badly I want to.
As the room slowly brightens, Lila shifts and turns over, eyes fluttering briefly before they finally open. For a moment, she looks disoriented and soft. Almost warm, in some innocent way.
Then she sees me, and a small crease forms between her brows. She stiffens slightly. “Were you watching me?”
Stretching my arms behind my head, I mask the fact that I have been caught, and I give her a subtle teasing grin. “Only for the last hour.”
Her eyes narrow, but she avoids the territory altogether. “Whatever…”
“Good morning to you, too.”
She sits up with a forced breath, as if resigned to all of this, and rubs at her eyes. The moment forces her scent to waft in my direction, and at once, my inner wolf surges so violently that I have to clench my jaw and grip the couch cushion to keep it down.
“Don’t even think about it,” Lila mumbles, eyeing me like she can feel my restraint from there.
“I didn’t do anything.”
Technically, it is true. It’s not like I’ve even left the couch yet.
She gives me a warning look, as if to say she doesn’t buy it. “You’re thinking too loud.”
Forcing a breath through my nose, my grin lingers. “Consider it payback for your mental noise yesterday.”
Despite herself, her cheeks fill with color. If I were a worse man, that would’ve been enough to send me barreling towards her.
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“But it still counts.”
Lila’s glare sharpens, but it’s not as sharp around the edges as it was before. Whether she knows it or not, cracks are forming in her resolve, and I’m not blind to them.
Sitting up now, I stretch the aches and stiffness in my neck, hoping to distract myself from the lingering thoughts that don’t at all help my situation.
“I’ll make breakfast, then we can—”
A knock at the door cuts through the quiet, and my brows furrow at once. Lila stiffens, surely making the same connection that I do.
Nobody is meant to disturb us. Nobody is even supposed to check in until we decide we’re finished with the cabin, but someone is obviously here.
Instinctively, I get up, putting myself between her and the door. Bristling, I pull in what I can from the nearby scents, but my guard lowers at how familiar they are.
Wordlessly, I go to the door and pull it open to find Dominic, Luke, and my childhood friend Jack on the other side. The former grins, looking far too amused.
“If it isn’t the new Alpha in his love nest,” he teases, not at all afraid to needle despite knowing the volatile state a new bond can put you in. “Already working on the offspring?”
I grimace at his words, feeling the visceral way Lila reacts to them through the bond. I clench my jaw and mutter through clenched teeth, “Why are you here? You’re not supposed to be.”
Luke sighs with his arms crossed, visibly unimpressed by Dominic’s entrance. “We’re not exactly here for fun.”
Glancing between them, I catch the grave expression on Jack’s face, and I already know something’s up. He has always kept an eye on things for me, even when we were younger, and I know he doesn’t bother me with things unless he feels they’re important.
With that in mind, I look back at Lila to see her already out of bed with a sweater pulled around herself. “Can you give us a minute?”
Wordlessly, she nods and slips out the back door without hesitation. She keeps her head low, as if uncomfortable with the guys being here. I can’t exactly blame her.
Something twists in my chest at that, and I take a breath before opening the door further to let them in.
“Alright, then. Talk.”
“We debated not saying anything until you two came back, but we figured you should know,” Luke begins, leaning against the table.
Jack stands respectfully by the door while Dominic aimlessly looks around the cabin, almost like he’s digging for anything he can use against me just to be a jackass. I throw him a warning look.
“Out with it.”
“There have been more Wraith Peak wolves in the area since you came here,” Jack says, getting to the point with his arms crossed. “They’ve been lingering along the border, sometimes straying a little too close to the heart of the grounds.”
My brows furrow. “How many?”
“Enough to cause concern,” Luke adds, absently stroking his chin. “The patrols can’t play it off as wandering strays anymore, and we’ve alerted the others to not move too far from town alone.”
Pulling in a deep breath, I can feel the headache forming. I’ve been Alpha for less than a handful of days, and I already have problems to contend with.
Dominic stops his snooping, eyes flicking to the door Lila walked through. “You know how this looks, right?”
I do, but I don’t want to admit it.
The Wraith Peak wolves weren’t ones to push boundaries without a reason. Of course, they test the territory every once in a while, but they never outright trespass, and not so close to town. They aren’t usually this bold.
I look between them again. “What do they want?”
“We were hoping you might have the answer to that,” Luke says, just barely hiding his own suspicions. “But we have a few guesses.”
I already know what he’s implying.
Lila and Astrid. The timing is too perfect, and their interest far too sudden.
As far as I know, the two of them have been living close to the boundary for years now, and the others have had copious chances to interfere.
But why now?
I can’t say for certain, but the only motive I have is her association with me now. That still doesn’t cover why the Wraith Peak wolves had surrounded them just the other day.
With too many questions and not enough answers, I feel another surge of my protective instincts kick in. “No one touches them.”
Jack nods. “We’re not letting that happen… I’ve been keeping tabs on Astrid and her grandmother at your place, and Zane should be watching them now.”
That makes it easier to breathe, at least. “Good. Lila will want to know she’s safe.”
“But,” Dominic says, testing again despite his serious tone. “I hope you’re prepared for the possibility that they’re pushing because of either one of them. Even when you’re back, they probably won’t stop.”
“She’s not a threat, if that’s what you’re implying,” I say, harsher than I intend.
“Nobody’s saying she is,” Luke steps in. He has always been better at handling sensitive situations than Dominic. “But something’s going on, and it seems to involve her and the kid.”
Even if it’s easy to believe, it still makes my heartbeat spike.
Astrid’s only four. She doesn’t have a wolf form yet, and she’s certainly no threat to anyone. She has no involvement of any kind, so why would they want her?
Regardless of there being no blood between us, the girl matters more than anything else to Lila, and thanks to our connection, her safety is at the forefront of my mind too. The bond pulses in my chest, furious, protective, and terrified all at once.
“We’ll handle it,” I mutter, feeling just how precarious a grasp I have over my own temper, both from the new mate bond and the repressed urges. “And nobody comes near them without going through me first.”
“Good,” Luke says, standing up straight again. “We need to head back, and you should consider doing the same.”
As much as I don’t want to cut the time short, something in me knows this isn’t something I can set aside for later. If anyone threatens my pack, directly or otherwise, it’s my job now to use whatever force necessary to keep them safe.
“Today was our last day anyway. We’ll head back soon.”
“We brought a second vehicle to make the trip back easier,” Jack says, already moving backwards to the door. “We’ll wait for you there.”
With a nod of confirmation, I watch as the three of them file out, leaving me alone in the cabin.
Whether it’s dread, irritation, or both, it simmers in my chest. My inner wolf is restless from it all, and thanks to the minuscule progress I’ve made with Lila over the last few days, I don’t feel nearly ready to confront what’s waiting for me back home.
Dragging a hand down my face, I take another breath and head for the back door.
I find Lila sitting on the edge of the porch, knees pulled to her chest, while she stares out into the forest. She doesn’t look up as I step out.
“Hey,” I say softly, leaving a suitable space between us. “They’re gone now.”
“So we’re going back?”
The cabin wall wasn’t thick enough to keep her from hearing us, and obviously, she managed to catch the conversation. She could probably feel my reaction to the update, too.
“Yeah. We’ll make the drive as soon as you’re ready.”
At that, Lila’s shoulders drop with a subtle relief, but the tension lingers still in her spine. Knowing that she’d rather not be stuck in this confined space with me anymore stings, but I can’t hold it against her. It has been a lot for both of us, and I imagine she misses Astrid.
“Alright… let’s get this over with then.”
More than anything, I want to reach out and put a supportive hand on her back, to reassure her that I’ll always protect her and Astrid, and to tell her that the pack will learn to accept her with time.
But after last night and the way she forced that space between us, I can’t bring myself to touch her yet. Not when she clearly doesn’t want it.
Instead, we head inside and pack in silence, and before long, we get into the Jeep waiting for us.
The drive is just as tense and quiet, but I don’t push to fill it.
All the while, my mind stays on Wraith Peak and the very fact that they want something from Lila and Astrid. I don’t know what it is, or why it’s happening, but I’m going to find out.
And if anyone tries to take them from me, they won’t survive it.