Chapter 19 - Lila
I don’t know if I’m furious, humiliated, or just exhausted, but it feels like something is pressing against my lungs. Having this conversation with Caleb leaves such a raw ache in my chest, mixing with that deeply rooted shame and anger.
Astrid is asleep in the bedroom, and the house is all too quiet despite how we both raised our voices only moments ago.
Caleb stands across from me, jaw tight, while his dominance fills the room. It’s contained but still present, reminding me of his position. Of mine.
I hate that I’ve let him see me shaken up like this, and I hate that I needed him to save Astrid and me. And I despise the fact that part of me felt safer the moment he arrived in the woods.
Beneath it all, my embarrassment simmers, and I know I can’t hide it.
I should’ve been strong enough, and I should’ve been able to protect Astrid myself.
And now, he has forced the confession from me. Now he knows Astrid carries magic inside her, and soon enough, I won’t be able to hide it.
That silence lingers between us for far too long, and a breath finally escapes me.
I don’t want to fight with him, not after what we just endured, and not after knowing the other wolves will do anything to get Astrid for themselves.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I murmur, more defeated than angry now.
The control it takes for Caleb not to react how he wants to is clear in his stiff posture, and his eyes are dark with worry he doesn’t want to show. “We’ll figure this out.”
It isn’t a solution, and it doesn’t ease my concern.
“How? If anyone finds out about her…”
He takes a step forward, making my words trail off with his presence alone. “Astrid’s powers need to be repressed for now, yes. But that doesn’t mean we’re completely helpless. You’re not alone in this.”
My throat tightens, and I want to refuse him.
“I don’t want to rely on you,” I murmur just above a whisper.
“But I want you to,” he says, moving even closer as he keeps his attention completely on me.
A faint shiver runs down my spine at his proximity, trying so hard to resist it.
Despite knowing magic use isn’t allowed on the island, there’s no judgment in his voice, even if there should be. Just understanding. Somehow, that hurts even more.
Caleb takes up the final step, slow enough to give me the chance to pull away, but I don’t.
His voice reaches me, soft and almost pleading.
“Lila… I mean it when I say I want to protect her, and to protect you. That doesn’t mean revealing her abilities and letting everyone else decide what happens. ”
My convictions waver as I hold his gaze. “Caleb…”
“I know you don’t trust me completely yet,” he says, disarming me with his honesty far faster than I care to admit. “But I’m not asking you to forget about everything I did. I’m here for you and Astrid, and I’m not backing down from this.”
From this proximity, his body heat surrounds me. He’s close enough for the bond to pull taut and thrum with a deeper intensity.
My heart lurches.
I shouldn’t want this, but hearing his sincerity does something to me that I can’t avoid forever.
“You’re not alone anymore, Lila… let me prove it to you.”
A tremble moves through me before I can hold it back, and when I meet his eyes, I can’t avoid that familiar, undeniable need that settles in my chest.
Before I can stop myself, I reach out, feeling more like I’m magnetized to him as my hand rests on his chest.
Caleb shudders from that alone, more like I’ve sent an electric current through him. He swallows and looks down at me like I’m the only one who could ever elicit that kind of deep-seated reaction from him.
“Tell me to stop and I will,” he murmurs, leaning in subtly. His eyes flicker down to my lips, then back up again. “Just don’t expect me to hold back when you look at me like that.”
I should pull away and tell him to stop.
But even as I try to form the words, nothing comes out. Instead, the bond almost seems to grow tenfold, gripping me so tightly, I can hardly breathe.
As I sway towards him, he grips my waist to steady me, and a subtle yet hungry sound reverberates in his chest.
Even if I should refuse this thing between us, I don’t have it in me.
Maybe I’m tired of fighting everything. Between the bond, him, and me, I haven’t had a moment of peace.
Or maybe I’ve been craving this kind of intensity. The kind of care and chemistry that can only come from a fated bond.
My fingers curl into his shirt, and his hands slide to my hips to pull me in flush against him.
At once, his mouth is on mine, deep, aching, and savoring, and all of my resistance ebbs away.
My hands move up and around his neck, bringing us impossibly closer, and Caleb groans softly against my lips.
Everything narrows to that intimate space the moment my back presses against the wall behind me, and every breath fills with such desperation that it feels reminiscent of the first time.
He kisses me like he’s starved for me, like he will never get enough no matter how hard he tries. And I kiss him back like I’ve never stopped wanting him.
His lips trail down my jaw and along my neck before he settles at my pulse point, nipping softly at my skin while he pulls in a deep breath. Every touch sends brutal heat through my system, encouraged by every greedy sound he muffles against me.
My breath falters as I endure the endless barrage of kisses and bites, feeling him everywhere at once. Then, his hands grip my thighs, and he squeezes my flesh, lifting me easily.
“Tell me you feel this,” Caleb murmurs in between kisses against my throat.
“I do,” I admit, words leaving me unguarded and shaking. “I do.”
He hums against my neck before moving back up to rest his forehead against mine, lips still brushing mine. “Then let me have you.”
I want to say I hesitate, but having him like this, pressed against me and just as hungry as I feel, I don’t.
Without an ounce of regret, I nod.
His restraint snaps, and he’s kissing me again. Despite the heat, it’s slow and claiming while he pulls me away from the wall and moves backwards into the living room without breaking contact.
Feeling the couch cushions against my back, I ease into them while Caleb follows, lowering himself above me and capturing my mouth with more need. More searing want.
Our hands are everywhere at once, far too impatient to give this time. After everything, it’s like we can’t wait anymore.
We grip and pull at each other’s clothes without even looking, too immersed in chasing each other’s lips to care.
I don’t have any second thoughts as I feel him pulling fabric away from my body, moving my sweater up before guiding my bottoms down enough to leave me in just my underwear. At the same time, I’m hurrying to get him just as bare.
It’s hurried and messy, but it doesn’t matter. The moment we’re down to a thin layer between us, Caleb presses his body against mine with one hand on my hip and the other gliding through my hair while he devours my mouth.
A pleasant haze fills my head all the while, able to feel everything he’s been holding back since the last time I allowed him to touch me like this.
I want to believe I could stop him if I wanted to, but with him kissing me so passionately, I know that’s out of the question. I never want him to stop. And I never want to be without this.
“You make me feel like I’m losing my mind,” Caleb murmurs, breaking the kiss to move down my neck again, giving every sensitive place as much attention as possible before he moves on. “Only you can do this to me.”
I shudder as he tugs at my bra straps, guiding them down in time with his lips moving along the valley of my breasts.
A soft moan slips from my lips as he paws at my chest, groaning to himself before he undoes it and drops the fabric aside. With his mouth on my skin directly, I arch into the touch at the immediate sparks of pleasure that scar with ease.
Satisfied by this, he slips a hand under me, pressing against my spine while he flicks his tongue against one of my nipples. Then, he continues his momentum south.
My body feels like it’s on fire all the while, anticipation rippling through me.
His hands glide down my waist and hips before his fingers hook into the waistband of my panties, tugging them as he goes.
Despite being completely bare beneath him, I don’t feel exposed. I feel liberated.
His lips reach my inner thighs, making me shiver as he parts them and moves even closer.
Without wasting more time, making his intentions crystal clear, Caleb moves in, brushing more kisses against me before settling where I ache for him.
The second his tongue brushes against my clit, my eyes shut, and I moan for him.
His grip on my hips tightens in response, and with a teasing air, he flicks his tongue a few times before giving me the pressure I need.
I’m seeing stars immediately as heat rushes through my body and pools in my lower stomach.
Every beat of friction sends me further into delirium, with each deliberate movement pushing me further and further to absolute bliss.
My fingers tangle in his hair all the while I get lost in the way he ravages me, not wanting it to ever end.
But Caleb knows all of my pressure points, whether it’s from the bond or just pure instinct. Before long, my thighs are clenching as he holds them down, writhing and squirming beneath that relentless pleasure.
Then I’m falling apart, lost in unbridled sensations while I come undone for him. It hits me hard and fast, and I’m stifling my sounds into my arm to not be too loud.
The heat of it rushes in immediately after, and it’s all I can do just to keep breathing. To let his hold anchor me to the movement.
It’s all warmth and mental static, but it isn’t enough. Not when I crave him so completely.
As if reading my mind, Caleb comes back up, leaving feverish kisses against my skin before claiming my mouth again, making me groan this time.
“I need you,” he murmurs against my lips, hiking my leg up as he presses close, letting me feel just how worked up his ministrations made him. We both shudder. “I need you more than anything else.”
“Then take me,” I whisper back, far too high on my release to think twice.
That’s all it takes for him to kiss me again, guiding himself forward and sliding in without resistance.
Our breath hitches simultaneously as he eases in slowly, and my hands go to his hips. Once he’s to the hilt, Caleb grunts a pleasured sound against my mouth.
With the first withdrawal of his hips, I pause as excitement ripples up my spine. Then, another moan tears from my throat the moment he sinks back in, matched by his groan.
The wave of pleasure makes me grip him tighter, but it still isn’t enough. Not when it makes me greedy for more.
His pace starts somewhat careful as we both regain our bearings, but it doesn’t take long for the scorching heat to overwhelm us both. He moves faster, reaching a rhythm that has my eyes rolling back, overwhelming my senses with everything him.
My fingers dig into his back, eliciting a grunt from him. But of course, it only encourages him to go faster. Deeper.
Everything blends into a haze of his thrusts and the incredible feelings that come with it, and it doesn’t take long for me to hold him tighter, gripping him inside and out.
Caleb groans when it becomes too much, lowering his face to my neck and muffling his breath against my skin.
My nails rake down his back as I arch, head filling with a renewed haze, all the while he concentrates on his thrusts, reaching an almost brutal pace.
Then at once, it snaps.
My voice cuts out as everything in me tenses before releasing. I see nothing but white as I reach my peak, pulling away from the couch as he tightens his hold on me with an arm wrapped around my back.
So blissed out, I hardly notice as he grunts into my neck, hips stilling as the force of his own orgasm tears through him. His warmth leaves me full and satisfied, and the weight of him above me is more comforting than I ever would’ve imagined.
The room suddenly seems so quiet after the fact, punctuated by our panting while we lay there together, slumped on the couch.
We’re in no rush to move, and no rush to leave that warm bubble surrounding us.
And in that stillness, it’s only us and the gentle thrum of our bond, alive in its own right.