Chapter 22
twenty-two
MAYAKOBA, MEXICO
Avery could barely see in the pitch-black night as the group walked back to the villa after dinner.
The path was too dimly lit, yet the dark amplified her other senses.
The waves crashed in the distance underneath the sound of Teddy, Stacey, and James laughing and talking.
The sweet smell of blooming bougainvillea filled her nose.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if Archer cans Cody at the end of the season. He’s got to be more trouble than he’s worth,” James said.
“He’s young, and green. I hope they give him more time than that to develop,” Stacey countered. “Who do you think they’d get to replace him?”
Avery felt Teddy reach for her hand and the two of them naturally dropped back behind Stacey and James.
Avery listened as her friends continued to talk shop, managing only to contribute an “uhuh” or “yep” here and there.
She was too attuned to Teddy’s body, the way he kept rubbing his calloused thumb over her palm, sending little bolts of pleasure up her arm.
“Well, here we are, mates,” James announced, unlocking the front door of their villa with his key card.
“G’night everyone,” Stacey said, making a beeline for her room upstairs.
“I think I’ll turn in too, leave you lovebirds to your own devices,” James grinned.
Avery’s ears felt hot and her cheeks burned. Teddy squeezed her hand, imbuing her with confidence. “I guess holding hands gave it away, tonight,” she admitted, turning to catch Teddy’s eye.
“Well, that certainly confirmed my suspicions that you two have been mixing business with pleasure,” James smirked.
“Just ignore him,” Teddy smiled at her. He didn’t take his eyes off her as he told James to get lost. Avery felt squirmy under his gaze, not sure what he was expecting of her.
Going back to her room alone seemed pointless now that their entire traveling party knew that there was something more going on between them than fake dating and friendship.
And she couldn’t ignore the magnetic pull drawing them to each other.
But, she was spent, almost sleeping standing up after a day of sun and fun… and sex. Would he be interested in platonic bed-sharing? Or was that too couple-y? Weren’t they a real couple by now? It certainly didn’t seem like they were still pretending.
I’m not pretending.
“I had a wonderful time today,” Avery said, blushing. Get it together, Avery. He’s seen you naked. Twice.
Even so, her muscles tensed as she spoke. “I’m exhausted and going to crash as soon as my head hits the pillow. But, do you want to spend the night in my room?” She hoped she got her meaning across, that she simply wanted to be near him.
“Yes,” he exhaled. “I’m also completely knackered, and Stacey and I start race prep tomorrow,” Teddy said. “I’ll go get in my pajamas.”
Pajamas. Cute. She’d never seen him in PJs. In Austin, they’d fallen asleep after the deed, no pajamas involved. Getting ready for bed and not falling into it represented a whole new level of their relationship, or at least it did for her.
She slipped into her own cream-colored shorts matching set, and went into the bathroom.
She closed the door behind her in case Teddy were to walk back in before she’d completed her nightly routine.
Pajamas and cuddles were one thing, but flossing their teeth next to each other was another matter entirely.
When she walked out of the bathroom after applying her nightly lotions and potions, Teddy was standing on the edge of her bedroom, rocking back and forth on his feet.
His cozy plaid pajama pants hung loosely on his hips, the edges of the fabric worn and nubby from wear.
His white v-neck t-shirt looked equally soft.
Tortoise shell glasses framed his hazel eyes.
The whole effect was so completely different from the guy she’d first met months ago at the beginning of the season.
It was almost impossible to reconcile the suave race car driver with the almost nerdy, yet utterly adorable man waiting for her to come to bed.
“I had no idea you wore glasses,” she blurted out. “I mean, they suit you, it’s a nice look on you.”
“Yeah, I wear them for reading most evenings, but, well, I didn’t do any reading the other night in Austin…” he coughed.
Avery blushed again at the memory of their night in Austin. Even if they were to go to bed together a thousand times, would she ever get used to being with Teddy? Doubtful.
“I didn’t know what side of the bed you prefer,” Teddy said.
Avery felt her heart positively glow. This man who was absolutely ruthless on the track was hesitant to take the wrong side of the bed.
It was incredibly endearing, so sweet. It had to be getting as real for him as it was for her.
If only she could work up the courage to bring it up in conversation.
“I’ve been sleeping there,”Avery pointed to the right side of the bed, where a cup of water and a book were lying on the nightstand.
“Should’a guessed,” Teddy said. He walked around to the other side of the bed, and pulled back the fluffy white duvet. Avery followed suit on her side, getting under the covers.
She stretched her hands above her head, cat-like. “Come here, you,” Teddy said. She scooted over to him and laid her head into that perfectly Avery shaped spot on his shoulder, turning her body slightly toward him.
“This is nice. I like this,” she murmured. “Being near you.”
“Me too,” he kissed her softly, his lips brushing hers.
Best sleepover ever.
“So tell me about your love for all things plaid. Do you always wear pajama pants that match your helmets?” she asked as she gave his arm a little squeeze.
He laughed. “The pajamas, well they’re from Harvey Nichols, and they are particularly comfortable, any similarity to a helmet is purely coincidental.
But, the tartan helmets, yeah those are meaningful.
My mom’s family, the Ross’s, can trace their Scottish roots all the way back to the time of Braveheart, more or less.
And the colorful pattern on my helmet is one of the traditional clan tartans. ”
“Oh, Ross is your mom’s last name? I didn’t know that. That’s cool.”
“It is. When I entered my first karting race at age eight, I used my mom’s surname out of spite. I was still so angry at my dad for leaving her, leaving us. And then later on, a few years ago, I changed it legally too, but I won’t bore you with the sordid details of that story.”
“It won’t bore me Teddy, really. You can tell me anything,” she said. And she meant it.
“Well, after my dad took off, we didn’t hear from him for years. Then when I started having some success, winning the karting championship, and making it to F3, then F2, he was interested in us, well in me. For a while I was excited, just happy to have his attention.”
“Mmhmmm,” Avery nodded along.
She removed herself from the world’s coziest spot nestled in his arm to scooch her pillow over from her side of the bed, and placed her head on it, rolling over to her side so that she could look him in the eyes, give him her full and undivided attention. “And then? Are you in touch now?”
“No - definitely not. He took a deep breath, exhaled loudly. “Do you remember when I made a bloody mess of that F2 championship?” he asked.
“Yes, I remember it,” Avery answered. Of course I do. He was a promising driver already back then, and it had made waves. Her pulse picked up.
“Right, naturally.” He blinked a few times. “Well, I really blew it that Sunday because the night before, I got a call from my dad.” He swallowed.
Avery held her breath. Her gut knew it hadn’t been good news.
“I thought it was to congratulate me on my performance in the qualifier, to wish me luck in the race.” Avery noticed his eyes were wet.
She cupped his chin, “Whatever it is. You can tell me.”
“He asked me to throw the race.”
Avery’s feet went cold, despite being buried under the covers.
“He’d been betting on me. Well, betting against me in that particular case.
And everything became crystal clear. The only reason he tried to have a relationship with me again was to make a quick buck.
” He shook his head in what Avery assumed was a mixture of sadness and disgust. “Of course, I told him to go to hell. That there was no way I’d ever fix a race. ”
The rest of her body felt cold now too.
“Oh, Teddy, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” How could anyone do that to their own kid?
“The worst part is that I lost the race anyway. He had screwed with my head so badly that I didn’t get a bit of sleep that night.
I could barely see straight by the time I got to the track the next morning.
My head wasn’t in it all, and so of course I choked and put the car into the wall.
And the bastard got what he wanted,” he looked down, and shook his head.
“I changed my name legally shortly thereafter and haven’t spoken a word to him since. ”
Avery felt a stabbing pain in her chest. She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed, giving herself a second to choose her next words carefully.
“I know you’d never lose a race on purpose. I see how much integrity you have, how hard you work not only for yourself, but for your family, your team,” her heart broke for a young Teddy as she said it. “He should never have put you in that position.”
Teddy wiped his eyes and pulled her to him, burying his face in her curls. She relaxed her back into his chest, letting him draw her closer, happy to be his little spoon if it would give him some comfort.
“Your dad knows. Brandon knows. I told them when they hired me,” Teddy answered the question she hadn’t said aloud. “And they still gave me a chance. I swore I’d never let them regret it.”
Her heart ached for him.
“And, I knew I’d have to be damn near perfect, both on and off the track,” he added, “If that ever gets out, it could be the end of my career. No one would trust my results.”
Now, it made sense. “And that’s why you got so nervous about a reporter showing up at your mom’s doorstep? Why you needed to offer up a distraction?”
“Yes,” she could feel him cringe into her neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t explain it earlier. I never thought it would go any further than a few photo ops between us. I should have told you sooner, I…there are so few people I trust.”
“It’s okay, really. My reasons are completely different, and nothing like the trauma you experienced with your dad,” she qualified what she was about to say next, wanting to make sure she was in no way equating a mom with a drinking problem to what he’d been through.
“But I understand the pressure of needing to seem perfect all the time. My parents have always made it feel like one slip-up on my part would result in the fall of the empire or something like that. I’m sure it all goes back to the drinking and rehab thing.
My mom is so ashamed of her behavior in those years, I think she’s still projecting that on me. ”
“Hmmm,” Teddy nodded in a non-judgmental way, his arms tight around her.
“I guess what I’m saying is, I understand it’s not easy being in the public eye and maintaining an image that’s above reproach. It’s a lot. There have been times I was tempted to pose for Maxim magazine or do something totally insane to relieve the pressure, ya know?”
“I know what you mean. I’ve been tempted to go on a wild bender after a particularly hard week at the track, but then I picture the headlines. I just can’t,” Teddy added.
“Same, I mean following you here this week is honestly one of the most irresponsible things I’ve ever done.”
“Well, I for one, am very grateful you decided to be irresponsible this week,” Teddy buried his face even deeper into her hair, kissing the back of her neck tenderly.
“Me too, I’m glad I’m here,” Avery exhaled, allowing her heart rate to slow.
“Okay, I’m going to ask you something a reporter has never asked you,” she said as solemnly as she could. She’d do anything to make him feel better.
“Alright,” Teddy took a breath.
“What’s your favorite color?” she asked.
He pinched her hip playfully.
Mission accomplished.
“Navy blue. Classic. Can’t go wrong,” he answered. “You?”
“Sunshine yellow. Always has been. It’s so happy. So cheerful,” she answered in return, stifling a yawn.
They volleyed light-hearted getting-to-know-you questions back-and-forth until she asked him his favorite animal and didn’t get a response.
His arms had relaxed around her and she felt his chest rise and fall. He was asleep.
It all made sense now, she thought drowsily. The perfectly polished answers for reporters, the engineered smile, keeping his family away from him, and the reporters that followed him, on race day. And he’d chosen her, trusted her enough, to confide in.
She yawned and slowly lifted up her arm to turn out the light, trying not to disturb sleeping Teddy, and settled back into him.
She felt lighter as his heart beat steadily, calmly against her back.
A good night of sleep was just the ticket to erase the deep sadness and shame that she’d heard in his voice.