Chapter 35 #2
“You’re still smiling about that helmet, aren’t you?” he asked, bordering on teasing her. “You haven’t wiped that grin off your face since you walked in here.”
Avery blushed. Her dad was calling her out for still harboring some feelings for Teddy.
She was incredibly touched by Teddy’s gesture, of course, but maybe if she was being honest with herself, the tingling and the butterflies were a little more than those of a delightfully surprised and thankful friend and colleague.
“I still can’t believe it,” she said, warmth expanding through her chest. “Millions of people are going to see that helmet on TV during the actual race Sunday. It was so kind of Teddy, and everyone who helped make it happen.”
“He’s a real team player, that’s for sure,” her dad said, winking.
Oh great, even her dad could see right through her and her mounting failure at being no more than friends with Teddy.
He stood up and started collecting his things. “I’m going to go join your mother for dinner at Baltaire. Care to join us?”
“Thanks for the invitation, but I really need to finish entering the auction items and then I’ll probably just crash,” Avery declined. I really need some time to sort through my feelings about this helmet situation and my body’s over-eager reaction to it.
She headed back to her desk, immediately texting Stacey. She needed to talk about the helmet with someone in the know, someone female, someone who was NOT her dad.
AVERY— The helmet! Wow! Did you know about it?
STACEY— No, not until today when I saw it. What do you think?
AVERY— I’m so touched.
Avery took a deep breath. Stacey was her closest friend and she also happened to be the one person who had more insight into Teddy. If there was anyone she could ask this… Well, here goes nothing.
AVERY—Did he do it for me? Was it some grand romantic gesture? Eeek.
STACEY— Honestly, I don’t know. It seemed like things were going so well for you two being friends. Do you still want more?
AVERY— You’re right. The friendship thing has been working out well for us.
Avery got up from her desk and walked to the window, looking down enviously at the sea of Friday afternoon commuters funneling out of offices and into the street.
STACEY— Well, since you are such good friends with him now, maybe you can ask him? Instead of trying to read his mind?
AVERY— Haha. Ask him - that would be too easy. I need to thank him anyway, so maybe I’ll just see what he says.
STACEY— Well, he’s out of the car and back in his dressing room, so I know he’s available to talk to you as your friend, that is ;)
AVERY— Oh, stop. We are friends now, and I don’t have time for drama.
STACEY— You really don’t. Ok, ttyl!
AVERY— Ttyl.
Avery sat back down at her desk. She was nervous to call him and say thanks for doing a kind thing. She didn’t want to sound too into him either, to come off as if she had assumed it was for her if it wasn’t. She took a deep breath and hit the dial button.
Her fingers drummed the desk as the phone rang a couple of times.
“Hello, Avery,” Teddy finally answered. Could she hear a satisfied smile in his voice?
He must know why she was calling.
“Teddy, hi!!” She couldn’t contain her excitement. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t prepared to sound like a robot; she was too pleased with the helmet itself, the good it would do for the kids. “Thank you - the helmet! Thank you.”
I need to settle down. Vibe check—genuine, but not swoony.
She took a breath.
“Truly, Teddy, it is going to make such a difference getting last-minute sponsors and selling the remaining tickets. The awareness is priceless. On behalf of the whole Silver Charitable Foundation and the Silver family, a huge thank you,” she said, regaining her composure.
There, the official thank you was officially completed.
Avery awaited his reply with bated breath.
“I’m so glad that the entire family and charitable organization appreciates the gesture,” he said playfully. “But…” his voice deepened, “…I am more interested in what the head of the Silver Charitable Foundation thinks.”
He sounded almost flirty? They’d always had this fun banter, since the beginning, those first outings in London and Italy. Was this his way of trying to bring their relationship back to its friendly roots—before they’d hooked up and it had gotten messy and complicated?
“The Director of the Charitable Foundation has so many questions for you,” she played along with his third-person game. “How did you even come up with the idea? And then pull it off?”
“I mean, I know first and foremost, I’m here to drive the car fast, but I also came to Silver because I believe in the team and the culture of giving back, so I liked the idea of doing a charity helmet for a while. And then your passion for the kids, well, it was contagious.”
At least he really is a good guy, even if he didn’t do it for me, per se.
Avery stood up from her desk, she needed some air. She peaked out of her office. Empty. Caroline must have taken off already, and most everyone else worked remotely on Fridays. She propped open the door to her shoe-box-sized office.
Teddy continued, “And, well, I was feeling really bad about backing out of the gala. It was the right choice. I can’t go.
” He cleared his throat, “I was, still am, feeling so burned by the spotlight, and the truth about my dad coming out put me in a bad headspace. I thought if I hid from the world for a while, it would all blow over and I could get back to being judged for my performance, and my performance alone. But then the crash happened, and you and I were on good terms again, and I wanted to make it up to you.”
“Teddy…” she sighed. She tugged at her curls, twisting them into one spiral over her shoulder.
Her head was spinning. Okay, so the helmet was a very nice gesture, but most likely not a grand romantic one.
Just Teddy being the warm, generous, thoughtful guy that she knew he was.
She felt both the glow of his kind words and big heart, but also a little twinge of something else that sat a little bit less easy in her body.
“I’m touched, Teddy, really. You didn’t have to make it up to me. It was all my fault, that you found yourself in that situation…” her voice trailed off, quieting to a near whisper.
“Stop. You’ve apologized enough. Really.
I was angry at the time, as you know, but I’ve learned and grown so much as a person this season.
The scandal, then the crash, it all forced me to face some hard truths.
After you left the hospital, when my mom and brother got there, we finally had some tough conversations that we needed to have for a long time. ”
Avery wanted to ask follow-up questions: What hard truths? What conclusions had Teddy come to with his family? I can’t go there. She’d forfeited the right to Teddy’s most personal information, certainly when it came to his family.
“It means a lot to me to hear you say that, about the apology. And it sounds like really positive stuff with your family. I’m happy for you. You sound great, peaceful even.”
She was truly happy for him, she wanted him to be at peace with his family’s painful past, regardless of how the conversations had been forced upon him. So, she’d be grateful for the extra publicity for the gala and for the thousands of dollars the helmet would bring in.
“Good luck this weekend Teddy. You know I’ll be cheering for you,” she said, trying to wrap up the conversation.
“Thanks, Avery. Talk to you soon,” he replied.
They both sat silently on the phone for a beat, waiting to see if the other hung up first. It wasn’t one of those cutesy eye-roll inducing ‘no you hang up first’ pauses, but rather it felt a bit heavy, as if both of them perhaps felt that there was more to say to each other, but couldn’t quite find the words, or if they had the words, was still nervous about how they’d be perceived on the other end of the phone.
In the end, it was safer for her to end this conversation right there. To allow those words to remain unsaid.