Chapter 38 #2
Her toes curled in her shoes while she put on her best customer service face. “Thanks again for coming tonight, and enjoy those Lakers tickets. We so appreciate your support,” she tried to end the conversation before it started. At least her salesmanship earlier in the night had paid off.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, not letting her off the hook. “Do you know if there are any blackout dates? And if I can use the tickets during the playoffs, or is it good for a regular season game only?”
I do not have the time or patience to deal with this right now.
“Great questions,” she replied brightly as if she were talking to Sadie or any other preschooler, “I don’t know off the top of my head, but we will be sure to look at the fine print when we are back in the office. Caroline will follow up with you next week.”
She turned her back to him, hoping a physical gesture might end the conversation since social cues were not going to work. Deep breaths.
Before she could take another small step, her aunt approached her. “Avery, I’ve been looking for you all night, but you’ve been so busy, busy. I haven’t seen you since Austin, how have you been?”
Ha! How have I been since Austin? I’ve lived a whole life since Austin.
“Oh, you know, busy with the season and the gala,” she tried to be as bland and generic as possible, even though she felt like she might scream if one more person interrupted her.
She’d thought Teddy’d be the one who would get mobbed on his way to meet her, leaving her waiting out in the cold, literally and figuratively. This gala was looking like the one instance where she was, shockingly, more in demand than an F1 star.
She excused herself from her aunt to scurry to the exit uninterrupted.
And there he was. Right under her tree.
* * *
He was pacing under her favorite tree. Teddy’s hair was longer than when she’d last seen him in the hospital in Miami, curling up over his collar. It suited him.
She took a big gulp of air, and the cold nearly took her breath away; the rest of her body hadn’t registered the temperature as she stepped outside, every fiber of her being focused on the handsome figure in the distance.
“Teddy!” she called out, moving as fast as her dress and high heels would allow.
“Thank goodness,” he looked relieved as she got closer. “I was beginning to think you’d stood me up.”
“Not in a million years. I just got stopped approximately one hundred times on my way out here. I think I got a taste of what it must be like for you all the time,” she explained, the experience having brought her one step closer to truly understanding his daily existence.
“Yes, rather frustrating, isn’t it?” he empathized, his eyes twinkling.
Now what?
The silence hung in the air between them, as if words had been stilled by the damp air, the temperature seeming to have dropped ten degrees since they’d met at this same spot earlier.
“Thank you for…” Avery said, trying to put into words the immense gratitude she felt for his presence tonight. “I’m so sorry,” he said at the exact same time, neither of them wanting to let the silence grow between them for even one second longer.
“Sorry. You go first,” he said, smiling, gesturing with his arm that the floor was all hers, “I have a lot I want to say to you, now that I have the chance, but I’m more interested in your thoughts.”
Avery exhaled, and her toes uncurled in her shoes. The chance to be heard, to be understood, for him to let her explain why she thought they would have been so good together, meant everything.
She took a deep breath, shivering as a cold breeze whipped the air.
“You’re freezing. Here.” Teddy said, peeling off his suit jacket.
“Thanks,” she said, lifting her face to his like a sunflower towards the sun as he carefully slipped it over her shoulders. Her body relaxed as the jacket took the edge off the cold, and she felt her shoulders slide away from her ears.
He gently caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, before placing it in his pocket, but he didn’t step away. The nearness of his body filled her with more warmth, maybe even a touch of heat. How she’d missed the feeling of his body near hers.
“You were saying,” he prompted her.
“I’m just so happy you’re here. I truly appreciate everything you did for the gala tonight, whether it was for me, or because you’re a good person. It wouldn’t have been nearly as successful without you,” she spit it all out without coming up for air.
“Bella, it was for you. It’s all for you,” his eyes shone with tenderness.
She shivered again, whether it was from his words or the air, she couldn’t be sure. Probably some combination.
It felt so right to be cozied up together, cocooned under his jacket, but Avery still didn’t know where they stood.
Now, more than ever, she knew she could never settle for picking up where they had left off.
She knew for sure she didn’t want to be a casual girlfriend, who just showed up at races as part of his cheering squad or hooked up when his schedule allowed.
It would be too hard on her heart, hanging around waiting for him to be ready for something more.
She deserved more than that, and she believed he did too, but she couldn’t force Teddy’s hand.
She knew she had to say something, to make her position clear, but she didn’t want this moment to end.
What if it was the last time she found herself in Teddy’s arms?
The thought of never feeling his embrace again made her knees wobble, so she pushed it out of her mind.
They stayed like that for a minute or two, Avery working up the courage to risk her heart breaking again by telling him how she felt. Teddy appeared to sense her slight discomfort.
“I had this whole speech planned, and now that you’re here in my arms, I only want to enjoy the moment for a second,” Teddy whispered into her ear.
Avery snuggled into him, inhaling his familiar woodsy scent. They clung to each other, not saying a word, the silence warm and pleasant, not frozen or full of anticipation.
“I don’t want to break the spell either. I missed this,” Avery whispered back, “But I really do want to hear that speech.” She broke their warm embrace so that she could look him in the eye.
He stepped back and took her hands in his own.
“It sounded a lot more romantic in my head, but here goes. The bottom line is, I love you. I love you and I’ll post it on Instagram if you want, or make a TikTok video, or we can keep it just for us.
And I’m so sorry for not seeing it before, and for causing you pain because it took my emotionally stunted self a life-threatening car crash and time apart as friends to realize I don’t want to live without you.
I’m in, I’m all in. Nothing casual about it.
That is, if you’ll have me, if you feel the same? ”
Avery felt warm tears fill her eyes in contrast to the chill of the air on her cheeks. She’d shed so many tears over him over the last several months: tears of hurt, anger, regret, and fear, but these tears were different. They were joy and relief.
Pop.
That balloon in her chest finally burst. She could breathe. It hadn’t been the gala that had been taking up residence where her lungs were supposed to be. It had been her heart, puffy and swollen from the ache of being separated from Teddy. No wonder I hadn’t felt it burst when the auction ended.
Teddy released one of her hands and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears that had spilled out onto her cheek. “I hope those are happy tears.”
“They are,” she smiled through the tears. “I’ve wanted to hear those words from you for so long. I just didn’t think you were on the same page.”
“I was. And I wasn’t, to be honest. I was completely smitten with you from our first meeting. I’d never met a woman like you. I didn’t know what would happen when I suggested we fake date back in London, but I knew that I wanted a reason to spend more time with you, to be around you.”
He caressed her cheek, running the same thumb that had wiped her tears down her jawline.
“I knew that I was attracted to you, but I had no idea I was going to fall for you the way I did. I had spent so much time convincing myself that I couldn’t have a real romance until I had made it, had secured my motorsport legacy, and set my mom and brother up for life financially.
But it was all fear. I know that now. Everything I was afraid of, my family history getting out, a crash… it all happened anyway.”
Avery pressed her cheek into his hand silently urging him to keep going. She hung on his every word, taking in every detail of what had been going on in that beautiful head of his while they’d been oceans apart.
“And I’m still standing. And I have you to thank for that.
If you hadn’t come into my life this year, I’d still be operating out of fear.
Going through everything I, we, have gone through this season has made me realize I don’t have to do this alone.
I don’t want to do this alone. I want to do all of it with you, specifically. ”
She took a breath and tried to memorize the subtle evergreen smell of the garden in winter.
She wanted to remember this moment forever.
She’d known all along he had this in him, that the real Teddy had the capacity to live a full life—career, family, and love and not just exist as a perfect cardboard cutout of what he thought an F1 driver was supposed to be.
It warmed her heart to the point where she could no longer feel the cold.
I love him more than I ever have before.
Her chest swelled with pride and joy for him, but she wasn’t the same person she was when they met either.
“Avery, say something” he blinked. “Please, anything,”
“I love you too. And I’m so proud of you. I’m so excited for you, for us,” she answered.
“Why do I sense a but coming on?” Teddy breathed.
“Because I want nothing more than to live happily ever after with you. But how are we going to make this work?” Avery paused.
She needed to make her dreams a priority too if they wanted a shot at making this work for real.
“You’re based in Europe, not to mention that you crisscross the globe more than half the year.
And I’ve learned a lot about myself this year too.
For the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I feel like an important part of my family’s work.
And I know that I can truly contribute, not only to the charity side of things, but maybe to the actual family business.
And I want to see where my career takes me. ”
Teddy considered her words carefully for a moment, knitting his brow as he formulated his response.
“It will be hard, complicated, and messy. But I know you. I know what I’m doing here.
I’m never going to expect you to be the type of partner who accompanies me race-to-race, whose sole role in life is my sidekick.
I want you, the ambitious, capable, woman you are. ”
Finally.
“You’re the only one for me, Avery Silver. And I’ll do whatever it takes. I can live in LA in the off-season, and I can fly you out for as many or as few races as you want. Okay?”
“Okay,” she nodded. “I trust you.”
“I trust you too. We will make it work. I promise,” he whispered.
“Can I kiss you now, please?” he pleaded.
“Nope,” she said, lifting herself up on her tip-toes and grabbing his crisp white shirt. “I’m going to kiss you.”
He leaned down letting her pull him in, and their lips found each other, tender and sweet.
She parted her lips for him. The warmth she had felt in her heart morphed into a fire, making her burn in a straight line from her mouth to her navel, in stark contrast with the wet drop that fell softly on her head.
Avery broke their contact and looked up. “It’s raining. It never rains in LA,” she said as a soft drizzle dusted the broad shoulders of Teddy’s coat that she was still wearing.
Teddy hugged her tight and grinned. “Rare indeed. Should I pull out my camera so we can post this rare phenomenon later? Or should we go live?” he teased.
“No,” Avery replied, “I need my hands for this, not for a camera.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face back to hers.
The drizzle of rain came down harder, the sound of big, fat drops pounding on the tent’s roof, drowning out the DJ who had taken the stage inside. Avery felt her sleek waves go limp, water dripping off them down her back and legs, water squishing into her shoes.
It was perfect.