Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
TATIANA
I can’t believe I did that. I should be ashamed of myself. I pleasured a man and let him cum down my throat. I am a whore. A dirty, disgusting, needy whore, and I loved every second of it.
He let me explore without attempting to intervene. I liked that. It gave me courage to do something I’ve only wondered about until now.
I’m surprised how much I liked it. Giving him pleasure was a serious turn on and it’s as if he is the key that has unlocked a part of my soul that has been begging to be released for a long time now.
We are lying naked in my bed, under my terms and it’s empowering. The fact he’s the most attractive man I’ve ever met is inconsequential. It’s his rugged masculinity that turns me on so much. His cool demeanor and aloofness that intrigues me.
The way he is unapologetic about his actions, and yet is more considerate than any man I know is a quality I wasn’t expecting from him.
“What happens now?” I turn onto my side and lay my hand flat against his chest, loving how his skin is soft to my touch and yet masculine in its painted beauty, the tattoos a myriad of art that I’m almost definite holds meaning to him.
The smattering of dark hair mixes with the ink, causing a shiver of delight to pass through me as his muscles dance underneath my fingers, reminding me of his power, both mentally and physically.
In clothes, Titus Romanov is a destructive force for any woman, but naked he is a god that I would happily worship at the feet of.
“We sleep.” Is his response to my question and I’m shocked how disappointed I am at that.
“But first we shower.” He grips my wrist and says firmly, “Come. We’ll clean up and then sleep. Tomorrow will be a hectic day.”
As he tugs me after him, I ask, “Why, what’s happening tomorrow?”
“We must attend several functions and an interview with Russian Life magazine.”
“Why?”
I’m surprised and he shrugs. “It was set up a while ago. They occasionally interview me regarding my business interests. Now they want my more personal ones.”
“I see.”
He glances my way with a soft smile. “It appears that Russia is already fascinated with us, my angel. We must play to the crowd and convince them that we are desperately in love.”
His words are a crashing blow to my heart because he is reminding me exactly what this is, despite what just happened. Business. Whatever this is between us is business to him, and I must never forget that.
I’m surprised when he pulls me into the shower with him and wraps his arms around me. As the steamy water jets erase the evidence from our bodies, he dips his head and kisses me softly, slowly, without hesitation and as if he owns the right. Then he pulls back and stares deeply into my eyes as the water cascades upon us and whispers, “Tonight we sleep, but tomorrow we will continue your education.”
“My education?” I blink as the water drips onto my face and he says gruffly, “If you believed that one taste – one night, would be enough, you are wrong. I want the whole of you, Tia and I won’t stop until I have owned every part of your mind, body and soul. Consider this fair warning of a takeover bid and word of warning – I always get what I want.”
“Always.” My smile won’t be contained, and he traces a light finger down my face as he whispers, “Always.”
Then he kisses me with a slow and steady touch, dragging desire from inside me, intoxicating my mind and body as he claims my soul. Right now, I would do anything he asks of me because one touch was all it took to fall completely and deliciously under his spell.
We wake in a heap of limbs, his strong legs tangled in mine with his arm pinning me to the bed and his smoky whisper is the first sound I hear. “Morning, angel.”
I’m more surprised that I’m not embarrassed. I should be. I deserve to be, but I’m not because this comes so easily. As if we’ve always woken up in each other’s arms, I say softly, “Morning, Lucifer.”
His low laugh is comforting and I’m astonished that my body has woken up to the fact a man is at hand and is already blossoming under his touch. I experience an aching desire to finish what we started last night, but his heavy sigh disappoints me as he groans. “We should get ready. We are due to meet Clarissa Smirnov for breakfast.”
“Who is she?” I’m confused as he sits on the edge of the bed and runs his fingers through his tousled hair. I note the muscles rippling on his back and his deep voice growls, “Your new best friend.”
He stands and as he turns, my eyes blink at the full force of the man before me and I can’t tear my eyes away from his strong body that causes mine to scream for his attention.
“I’ll leave you to shower and change. Dress smart but casual. Clarissa is always impeccably turned out and will judge you on your choices.”
My heart sinks as the man whose arms I fell asleep in has changed into the enigmatic business one of before and as he leaves, the light inside me dies a little as we revert to the arrangement we had before.
Clarissa Smirnov is a beautiful woman, and it’s obvious she has already been where I am now. The possessive gleam in her eye when Titus kisses her on her cheeks three times alerts me to the fact I’m staring at one of his lovers.
I don’t like how that makes me feel.
She is, as he suggested earlier, impeccably turned out and as we choose our breakfast from the menu, I’m aware that I’m already out of my depth.
Affluence surrounds me. It’s as if I’ve stumbled onto a movie set and only the wealthiest are playing the parts.
I’m no stranger to scrutiny. Many are fascinated to see the prima ballerina in the flesh and I’m accustomed to their curious gazes. Today is no exception, but the excited ripple of conversation is probably due to the fact we are now front page news.
We are a match made in heaven for the tabloids and I am proud to be by his side, but sitting here with one of his girlfriends is probably the main topic of conversation in the room.
Clarissa sets down her menu and gazes at me with a curiosity I share. She is certainly beautiful. She has long dark hair that hangs like a silk curtain to her shoulders. Her eyes are green and flash with interest and her red painted smile is firmly directed at me.
“I’m so happy to meet you at last, Tatiana.”
“Please, call me Tia.” I return her smile and she gazes at Titus with an approving smile.
“You are a lucky man, Titus.”
He nods, reaching across and taking my hand with a gentle smile, causing my heart to flutter.
“I am.”
Clarissa’s eyes widen and her smile fades a little and then she says quickly, “Anyway, as a friend of Titus–” She emphasizes the word and her meaning doesn’t escape me. “I would like to take you under my wing, Tia. Take you shopping perhaps, grab some lunch, become part of my world.”
Friends. I don’t possess friends. I never have because even the other ballerinas never wanted to be my friend. Nadia is the only one who did, and that was because we were forced to spend time together.
It means a lot. Despite the circumstances the offer was made in and I beam with delight. “I would love that, thank you.”
Titus says gruffly. “Perhaps it can begin today. I must attend a meeting in town and it would be helpful if the three of us went together and my car dropped you to the mall.”
He reaches inside his jacket and pulls out his credit card, and hands it to me with a sly wink.
“Clarissa will make certain you max this out.”
He turns to her. “Whatever she needs. You know the drill.”
Clarissa laughs softly. “Oh, honey, we are going to have so much fun today.”
I eat the amazing breakfast in a daze. Even the fact I’m here in this restaurant is unbelievable, but the company I keep is astonishing.
I don’t do anything like this and especially not on my rare days off. Tomorrow, I must head back to the Bolshoi and reality, but today is mine to live the dream and if Titus wants to be a part of that, then I’m up for it.
True to his word, he drops us at the designer mall with an order to spend an obscene amount of money and as the car heads off, I’m surprised when Clarissa locks arms with me.
“Well, days like this don’t come around very often, so let’s make the most of it.”
I find it strange that this is the first time in my life I’ve ever done this. I’ve never had the money to waste on shopping expeditions. I earn good money but nothing on this scale and most of what I purchase I order online. My entire life has been dance and if I’m not rehearsing, I’m practicing. It makes me a little sad to know I missed out on so much.
We head inside the mall and when I see the stores here, I’m guessing a panic attack is imminent because of the names on the front of them. Chanel, Dior, Louis Vuitton and many more. Clarissa obviously doesn’t share my concern because she heads straight for Dior.
“I love it here. Let’s choose you something pretty.”
I’m afraid to even step foot over the threshold. I don’t belong here. The assistants alone look superior to me and must be wondering why I’m here at all.
However, they appear excited when we walk inside and I note the shy smile of one of them as she whispers, “Miss Pavlov, we are honored.”
I rarely see anyone and it always surprises me that they know who I am. The fact my image has been blasted across the press since my ‘engagement’ may have something to do with it and then I remember the huge advertising campaign that is currently being rolled out for Hermes and as I glance out of the door at the shop opposite, my image is plastered in the window along with what I advertised.
Some may think I’m famous. I’m not. I have no agent and no inflated bank account. I am loaned out by the Bolshoi and they pocket the profits. I never realized how wrong that is until today. I see myself as a puppet, somebody used for another’s monetary gain, and I don’t like it.
“May we offer you some refreshment?” One of the assistants says with a smile, and Clarissa nods enthusiastically. “Champagne.”
I’m embarrassed because why ask for something so expensive when a glass of water would be kinder, but the assistant nods and smiles her appreciation as if it was water.
“Come, I was in here last week and there are some amazing cocktail dresses. I heard you were invited to Irina’s birthday bash on Thursday, so you simply must get the one I saw. Now, where is it?” She wrinkles her nose and proceeds to search the rails, but I’m too afraid to touch anything at all.
A smiling assistant hands me a glass of champagne and I perch on the fabric couch nervously, trying hard not to spill a drop as I sip the bubble-filled alcohol.
Clarissa obviously doesn’t share my reticence and heaps several dresses onto the arms of the assistants, and I watch in shock as she selects matching accessories.
“We’ll get the shoes from Jimmy Choo. He has an amazing pair that would offset any of these outfits. I’ve had my eye on them myself for weeks, but I must wait until next month when my allowance resets.”
She laughs softly. “I doubt Titus’s credit ever needs resetting. I’m guessing this baby has an unlimited one.”
She produces his card and nods to the dressing room.
“Go on, try them on. I can’t wait to see how they look.”
I set the glass down on the table and my legs shake as I head to the dressing room that is luxury on another scale. Full-length mirrors frame me from every angle and as I try on the first outfit, I’ve never felt so good.
I never realized how clothes can alter your mindset. Costumes, definitely, but an outfit to wear to dinner or a small gathering, I never thought much of it. Now I understand. It gifts me a confidence I sorely lack and as I spin on my toes, a huge burst of happiness surrounds me.
“Hurry up, I’m waiting here.” Clarissa calls and as I exit the dressing room, she gasps along with the assistants.
“Tia, you’re beautiful.” She says, her eyes wide and full of admiration and as the assistants agree, I must admit that is exactly how this dress makes me feel.
White silk fabric is pulled together from every angle and fixed with a silver clasp that shines with diamonds. At least I hope they’re not real ones.
The fabric spills from the center and drapes to my knees and shimmers as the light catches it. The top is strapless and boned with white crystals and white embroidery, almost bridal in its appearance but more simple. It dusts just below my knees and there is a white fur stole that fastens around my shoulders and a matching white silk purse with silver diamante straps.
“You are an ice princess.” Clarissa gasps and holds up the credit card.
“We’ll take it.”
“No! Oh, I’m—it’s too much.”
The assistants hover with uncertainty, and Clarissa says with determination, “She’ll take it. Please box it up and charge it to this card.”
I am shepherded back into the dressing room and like Nadia, they help me off with the dress and as I change back into the pale blue pant suit that I wore for breakfast, my head is spinning with the entire situation.
I never saw the price tag but saw a similar one that was seven hundred thousand rubles and I am faint with anxiety at the idea of spending so much on a dress. Correction, that Titus will spend so much on a dress.
Clarissa must sense my discomfort because, while the assistant wraps it into a tissue-lined box, she whispers, “Please don’t worry about the money. Titus has probably earned it back in a few seconds already. You do know money will never be a concern when you are married to him, don’t you?”
“I suppose, but I never considered how much things cost before. I’m not used to this world, Clarissa.”
I lay my heart on the line and she smiles sympathetically. “That’s what I’m here for.”
She pulls me down onto the silk-covered couch with the most exquisite detail embroidered on it and says softly, “Look around you, Tia. This is your life now. Titus asked me to take you under my wing because he knew you would struggle to adjust to it.”
“He did?” I’m astounded, and she nods, a sad gleam in her eyes.
“You are the lucky one. He isn’t one for dating. I’ve known him for a long time; dated him myself, but it only lasts for two dates at the most. He has never wanted a girlfriend or a wife. It’s common knowledge, which is why it’s such big news now.”
She laughs softly. “You are the envy of all the women and he is the envy of every man because you make the most dynamic couple. So, enjoy the experience and know I’ve got your back because if I can’t have that man, I’d rather you did.”
I am sad for her. It’s obvious she has feelings for him that she blinks away with a smile.
“Get used to it, Tia, because by the time Titus returns, we will have visited every designer shop in the mall and maxed out his credit card.”