Chapter 19
Fallon
“The past will always repeat itself.”
The words were jarring, bringing me back to the horror of what I’d endured less than two weeks before.
They were the same ones my stepbrother had uttered.
Like some crazy mantra. Ludolf whatever his name was had given me the creeps the day before.
The way he’d approached my table wasn’t as a man owning a hotel and just checking on his guests would do.
He’d purposely sought me out, first with his eyes while sitting across the deck at the outdoor bar then by coming directly to my table insisting I have dinner with him.
Maybe I could have bought that he was just a lonely older man thinking I was all alone.
I’d known better the moment he’d approached while I’d been taking Bella for a walk before the storm rolled in.
He’d issued a warning that I could be in danger. Even worse, he’d suggested I was the reason for my mother being murdered. The horror of losing her was even more suffocating than before.
Something Vissarian understood. I could see it in his eyes and in every word coming from his mouth.
He’d lost the love of his life. He hadn’t killed her. He’d adored her.
The gut-wrenching pain in his eyes touched me in the deepest place, in the tiny square of hope and need that I’d kept padlocked. He hadn’t hurt or killed his wife. Not like what Jasmine had insinuated, although the old news article had mentioned four men had died at the scene.
Vissarian had killed them in retaliation. Without thinking. Without remorse. Because of a love so intense that momentarily he’d lost his mind.
Which was why he refused to back down with me.
Just as he’d done in my life, I’d awakened something deep within him.
He hadn’t been able to protect her as he insinuated that he wanted to do with me.
Oh, God. Everything was so out of sorts.
The moment was strangely quiet as we continued to search each other’s eyes. Then suddenly, the spell was broken.
Bella whined, trying desperately to flee my hold. The wind was intensifying. The little fur ball was terrified.
So was I.
What the hell was I going to do?
I felt Antonio breathing down my neck. There was no one to turn to, no one that could help me.
Except the powerful man determined to discover answers when I had none.
Thoughts about what Antonio had uttered flew into my mind.
As if I was meant for someone and he didn’t like it.
Maybe he was talking about Vissarian. No, that didn’t make any sense. Nothing did.
“Maybe both,” he admitted.
“How is it possible our pasts are connected?”
“That’s what I need to find out, but it would appear I’ll need your help to do so.”
I licked rain from my lips, trying to remember everything Antonio had said to me. “How?”
“First, you’ll need to trust me, Fallon. There is no other choice. In doing so, I promise to protect you.” Vissarian’s voice was calm, even alluring, but there was no chance I could let my guard down any further than I had.
Trust. Trust. Trust.
“You just don’t understand. I can’t trust anyone,” I whispered, trying everything I had not to panic. There was no coincidence in the statement the German had used. None. Two people of different backgrounds didn’t suddenly come up with a saying. It meant something.
“You’re going to need to. I have no doubt you’re in danger.”
“Why?”
“Because someone wants to use you against me.”
“Who are you really?”
“As you said, I’m Bratva. A dangerous man.”
Another series of rumbles and Bella managed to break free. “No!” As the pup raced for a clump of trees, my heart lurched. “Bella!”
“Shit. I’ll get her. Stay here.”
The rain was just starting, large drops peppering the sidewalk. I was already freezing, but it had nothing to do with the drop in temperature.
Vissarian disappeared into the foliage and I certainly wasn’t going to just stand here. I trailed behind, raking my arms through the huge green leaves. “Bella! Bella!”
I heard a whine and shifted to another direction. Now the rain was coming down harder.
Seconds passed and I finally heard him calling her. Where had she gone? A sudden irrational fit of emotion caught me off guard. I couldn’t breathe and the heartache I’d felt came rushing back. I’d tried so hard to shove it aside, but it was impossible.
Taking gulping breaths, I cried out again, the sound drowned out by the pelting rain. “Bella. Baby. Please.” Choking, I slipped on some wet grass and was immediately pitched onto all fours.
The pain was jarring, my hands and knees aching. Yet it was nothing in comparison to the way I felt deep inside.
Turning over, I dropped my head into my hands. I couldn’t lose her too. I just couldn’t. As racking sobs replaced any concept of breathing, a single noise caught my attention and I snapped my head up. “Bella. Bella!”
“I have her,” he gritted out, suddenly pushing his way through the trees.
I struggled to stand, ignoring the pain. “Oh, baby.” I’d be damned if she didn’t have a mischievous look on her face. “You little ragamuffin. You scared me to death. I can’t lose you, baby girl. You’re all I have.” He allowed me to gather the pup into my arms.
“We’re going back to my cottage to talk,” Vissarian stated, his forceful words dragging me from the fear that had swept through my mind.
“I don’t know what we have to talk about.” Even when I’d remained overseas, unable to help my mother, I hadn’t felt this boxed in. Maybe it was being away from anyone I knew and the ability to escape if necessary.
Not that I felt any real threat from the Russian. But in my mind, red flags had formed, enough of them I could no longer trust my own judgment.
I took a step forward and my knee almost gave out.
Without any further discussion, he swept me into his arms with Bella remaining in mine. “You’re hurt and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
He wasted no time heading to his cottage, barely struggling to unlock and open the door even with the pouring rain and the awkwardness of having us both in his arms. Once inside, he immediately locked the door.
“You can let me down now,” I told him, although the tone of my voice was demanding.
“Not yet. Just hold Bella.”
“I’m not letting her go.” I sniffled and drew Vissarian’s attention. He took a deep breath, obviously uncertain why I was bawling like some broken child.
Because I felt broken inside.
He flicked on several lights in the kitchen area, gently easing me to the counter and immediately taking Bella from my arms. Only then did I notice several bags, with something peeking out. Wait a minute. My mind couldn’t process what I was seeing. “What did you do?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You purchased puppy food? Is that a… dog toy?”
After tossing a look over his shoulder, he lowered the pup down; immediately she shook, forcing a laugh from his throat. Even as small as she was, she managed to get him all wet.
Wetter than he already was.
His smile faded, the dark furrow in his brow and the shadows in his eyes keeping a trickle of fear sweeping through me. Something was very wrong. He was angry, but not with me.
“She needed a few things. A dog’s bed. A leash and collar. A dogfood bowl and some toys of course.”
Another yin and yang moment forced additional tears from my eyes. “You did that? I thought you didn’t know anything about dogs. Why would a man of your stature care about animals?”
“I don’t know much of anything, but believe it or not, Fallon, I do have feelings.”
Exhaling, I studied his eyes briefly before looking away.
“That was horrible of me to even suggest. I’m sorry.
Thank you for caring about her. I know it sounds strange, but it feels like she’s the only creature in my life.
” He planted his hands on either side of me, lowering his face until his lips were dangerously close.
Sadly, what I knew about myself was that I didn’t need to become involved with anyone.
Not now. Now when I had Antonio breathing down my neck.
Even a man like Vissarian was no match for a dangerous syndicate.
“Not horrible at all.”
“I need to make it clear that whatever this is can’t happen again. What I’m dealing with, you aren’t capable of helping me figure out or control. We live in different worlds.”
“Not as different as you believe.”
“Just let me go. I need some space.” I pushed my hands against his chest, the ache from before dulling my senses.
“Lady, maybe you don’t understand who I am, what I’m capable of, or feel you can have some faith in me so allow me to be very clear.
You can’t run, Fallon. I don’t know what happened to you, but I do know whatever you’ve gone through made you feel as if you couldn’t trust anyone including yourself.
You are in danger. Hell, I think we both are. ”
“How can I trust you when I can’t trust myself? You don’t know me at all, Vissarian. I appreciate your concern, but what I’ve been through isn’t something anyone can change or fix.”
The electric surge was so powerful, so overwhelming. I knew this was all physical attraction, but what was wrong with needing a moment where I could forget? What was wrong with savoring a sweet taste of passion?
When he brushed his finger under both eyes, collecting my tears, I let out another sob.
“You’re so damn beautiful. Let your defenses down. That’s the only way we’re going to figure out what the fuck is going on.”
“You’re saying I’m here on purpose.”
“You tell me.” The look in his eyes was entirely different than before. Then I realized why. He thought I’d been sent as a decoy. Or worse.
“I’ll say the same thing to you that you said to me. I’m not going to hurt you. I know nothing about you, which is why this needs to end,” I whispered, shivering from being wet and from being so close to him.
He took a deep breath, even more frustrated.
Why was it that the sexual tension continued to increase? I could barely breathe.