Chapter 14
14
RUTGER
“I can’t tell you.” Bijou’s voice trembles, but she says the words firmly, crossing her legs and enhancing the seductive sweep of the electric blue silk dress over her curvy frame. “Unless you promise me you won’t retaliate.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Then, that’s that.” Her voice sounds flat, her words final.
Not ready to end the conversation, I dig into her every gesture and tell. Just like I used to do when I watched her perform at the Diamond. The pulse point at her neck flutters in the moonlight, and her bottom lip trembles almost imperceptibly. Her nostrils flare ever so slightly, alluding to the emotion swirling beneath the surface.
Maybe a change of subject will put her at ease, encourage her to open up to me…
I ask, “Do you remember the first time I talked to you at the Diamond?” I try to keep my tone light, but my heart anguishes revisiting these memories, still unclear about the circumstances surrounding our breakup.
An unguarded smile illuminates her face, and her gaze opens, flooding me with tenderness. “How could I forget? You were so good-looking and so nervous. I didn’t know what to make of you.”
“I couldn’t help it. Talking to you was like approaching a celebrity—talented, drop-dead gorgeous, sexy as hell. I couldn’t keep a word in my head, let alone a full sentence, around you.”
Bijou giggles. “Well, you did manage to ask me where the bathroom was and then proceed to look mortified.”
“It was the first thing that came to mind. I was sure I’d blown it with you?—”
She nods. “You did. But you kept coming back and coming back and coming back…”
“That was the Army in me. Surrender is not a Ranger word. It took me three months to get your attention and three more to convince you I wasn’t some creepy stalker.”
Her eyes take me in, her cheeks flushing. “You were never creepy. But a stalker?” She raises her brow.
“Maybe. But it was your work’s fault. You got off so late every night, and I had to see you home safely.”
Bijou closes her eyes for a moment, her lips trembling. “Remember how you talked me into dating you?”
“Yes, ma’am, weekly jam sessions together at the Diamond, which you suffered through despite my abysmal guitar and keyboard skills.” My dad is a professional musician in Sugar Land, Texas, but very little of his talent rubbed off on me.
She shakes her head. “Baby, you never gave yourself enough credit. You got around fine on both instruments.”
Swallowing hard, I confess, “That’s how I knew you wanted me as badly as I wanted you. Why else would you put up with my clumsy playing?”
She nods, her cheeks flushing as she licks her lips slowly and seductively.
And once I showed you the skill of my hands and mouth lay outside music… well, things were better than perfect. I refuse to voice the last thought. I can’t go there with her until I understand what ended us.
Drawing so close to her that I feel her warm breath on my cheek, I command, “Tell me what kept you from marrying me, Bijou. I have to know.”
Averting her eyes, she says quietly, “Promise not to retaliate. I mean it.”
How can she ask this of me?
After a few moments of stubborn silence, I relent. Hoping I won’t live to regret this, I swallow loudly, saying, “I won’t retaliate.”
Her gaze falls, and her chin trembles. The gesture catches me off guard. On a soft exhale, she starts, “On the morning of our wedding, Raul made sure I would never meet you at the courthouse…”
She hesitates, and I wait.
Silence …
Although she has my full attention, another part of me remains alert, straining to hear the slightest noise indicating we’ve been discovered. I’ve also got my phone handy.
Members of my team chase various leads, including P Boy and his men. If they see anything, I’ll be the first to know. Between that and the trackers we placed in New Orleans, I should have at least some warning if trouble heads our direction.
The silence drags on, and my patience frays. “How did he keep you from meeting me at the courthouse?”
Grimly, she requests, “Can you hand me my purse? I’ll show you on my cell phone.”
I reach between her legs, getting another dose of her heady perfume. She doesn’t pull away one inch to make room for me. Instead, her flesh crowds me until I’m breathing hard as I hand her the bag.
Retrieving her cell, she unlocks it with her thumb before heading into her photos. She goes back five years, and I watch every move, determined not to let her communicate with Raul or anybody else. Just in case.
Finally, she opens an album, her hand shaking, and gives me the device.
“What the fuck is this?” I exclaim, filling the SUV with my booming voice. I stare at photos of my beautiful girl—only unrecognizable. With two black eyes, one swollen shut, a bloody nose, swollen lips. “What is this?” My voice simmers as I notice the date on the photos. The fifth of June. The day we were supposed to be married… five years ago.
Sobbing, she explains, “Raul and two of his men surprised me at our apartment after you left that morning to pick up Wolfe and your dad from the airport. Raul did that to me… to keep me from marrying you…”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” I explode. My hands shake with rage, and I know I could do something stupid. Very fucking stupid.
“That’s what Raul counted on me to do—find you and tell you everything. He knew you’d seek revenge. The whole thing was a trap, his thugs ready and waiting. He wanted you dead. Honestly, I think he wanted me dead, too, but fear of our father, despite his relocation to Ecuador, held Raul back. After beating me, he said if he ever caught us together again, he’d murder both of us.”
I hand the phone back to her, gripping the steering wheel so hard it makes a cracking noise. Images of her broken face flash through my mind as rage sears my soul. “Why did Raul have such a vendetta against us?”
“Because as an Army Ranger, you were on the wrong side of the law, baby. Your allegiances would never align with Lefevre interests. He couldn’t control you. Just like he couldn’t control me when I was with you.”
I reflect on weird encounters with her brother. Like when he asked me to provide him with codes to a facility where I worked as a private military contractor. The dumbass was out of his mind, and I told him as much. Then, he played it off as a joke. Another time, he wanted me to put him in touch with a small-scale arms dealer. I told him to fuck off.
I numbly observe, “So, instead of trusting me, you covered for your brother, stood me up at the altar, and swore you never wanted to see me again… after helping him steal my stuff?—”
Tears splash over her bottom eyelashes. “His men destroyed our home, and he beat and tortured me into telling him where we kept our valuables. Even then, he was after the Blue Moon. But he didn’t know about Grandma’s bank deposit box yet. The only thing I managed to save was your grandfather’s watch. I was ready to die rather than see him take that from you.”
My throat tightens at her words. That watch is the last remembrance of one of my heroes, my Papa, who served in Korea. I always wondered why it survived the theft. This revelation awakens my heart in ways I don’t know if I should fear or welcome.
Bijou continues, “Raul said he would never let us be together—under any circumstances. That day, I knew you were better off without me and my family. Because, like it or not, I’m a package deal with the Lefevres. Even though I don’t want to be… It’s not a loyalty thing. It’s an inevitability thing. I can’t escape them.”
Watching the tears roll down her cheeks kills me in ways she can’t imagine. Like seeing the pictures of what her punk-ass brother did to her. She’s damn right. I would have killed him.
Shaking my head, I rage, “I’m not some delicate fucking flower you need to protect. I’m an Army Ranger sniper—a meat eater. I’ve seen and done shit that would make your piss-ant, sorry excuse for a brother shit himself. You could’ve trusted me, beauty. I would have avenged and protected you. Why didn’t you let me be your man?”
I expect a pause as she weighs her thoughts. Instead, her words flow freely and passionately. “Because I’ve lived my whole life in the shadow of organized crime. I couldn’t stand to see you drawn into it, too. You’re too good, and no matter how tough or combat-tested you are, baby, my family has ways of getting to people. Dark, awful, deviant ways. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.”
“So, you let five years go by with me convinced you hated me… to somehow protect me from your coward of a brother and his loser associates. Where was your fucking faith in me?”
Anger flashes across her face. “You deserve better. A life where you’re not constantly looking over your shoulder, waiting for Raul to catch up with us. And even if you did take out my brother and his men, which I know you’re fully capable of, what then? You’d still be right where the Lefevres want you—neck-deep in organized crime or locked away for life. Louisiana prisons are crawling with my family and their allies. Despite your training and background, you would still end up at their mercy. And even if you managed to survive all of that, we wouldn’t be together. How could I claim to love you and let you go through that?”
Slamming my fists against the steering wheel, I roar, “How could you claim to love me and force me to live without you?”