Chapter 13
CARMEN
“We’ll protect you.”
I didn’t realize that was the sound I picked for my alarm clock this morning.
I rouse from the sleep I didn’t even remember falling into, stretching my arms above my head. I pause halfway, tensing when I find all three of the bikers staring down at me.
Some personal space would be nice.
“Which one of you delightful assholes do I have to thank for tranquilizing me last night?”
“You fainted,” Skipper says.
“I don’t faint.”
“You were whiter than a ghost last night,” Vex says. “You’re lucky I caught you. You’re welcome, by the way.”
I narrow my eyes until memories from last night start to sink in. It was all fun and games until Conrad called and presented ultimatums.
Ultimatums that are probably going to result in death. Mine or theirs.
Or both.
The anxiety finds its way back into my stomach. I’m in need of a morning coffee and some breakfast, but I also don’t wanna vomit in front of the bikers. It’s bad enough that I apparently fainted in front of them last night.
It sounds about right.
I knew this was all gonna catch up to me, only what I had in mind was less life-threatening.
If Conrad catches me, Otis has no mother.
If something happens to Carter, Otis is left with no father.
The latter shouldn’t be on my list of worries at the moment. From the day I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t bother informing Carter because I immediately knew my son’s quality of life was going to be better without an egocentric millionaire in it.
But Carter Trescott is an actual human being now.
And that might change things.
Might.
What if Carter never finds out that he has a son?
Why am I even questioning this?
I sit up in bed. I’m proud of myself. For the first time since arriving here, I’m not thinking about how much I want to fuck them. This time, I’m thinking with my head.
“I can’t stay here.”
Skipper says, “Darling, we can’t let you go. If we release you, Conrad is gonna get his hands on you. If you want to keep the life you were talking about last night, you’re gonna have to camp out here for a few days.”
“A few days, or forever? It sounds like the O’Neill reign is never-ending.”
Carter gives me a look. “You’ll be safe here.”
“It’s not happening. I have a young child who needs his mother.”
Carter’s eyes inflate, popping out of their sockets. “You have a—?” He cuts himself off. “You lied to me?
“All due respect, my life isn’t your business.”
Why is Carter acting like I’ve bowled a bowling ball right into his face? It’s not a big deal.
To him, it shouldn’t be. As far as he’s concerned, my child is being fathered by a different man.
Vex clocks my finger. “You’re not married, so what are you?”
“Single.”
I’d be offended by how low they’re viewing me right now if I had time to give a fuck about something other than Otis.
Carter is still in shock. “I can’t believe you have a—”
“Well, hurry up and get your head around it.” I fish for my phone on the nightstand.
And that’s when I see the chain of unread messages from Sadie.
Sadie: What time are you back?
Sadie: I’ll stay the night. Call me in the morning.
Sadie: Hello? Where are you?
Sadie: Call me when you get the chance.
Following that are a string of missed calls.
Shit.
I shoot up and make my way to the door. “I gotta go.”
Carter shifts in front of it like a security guard. “Did you not just hear what we said?”
“I heard it loud and clear, but did you not just hear what I said? I have a kid. I also have a nanny who doesn’t know where the fuck I am. I need to get back.”
“You’re not safe.”
“Conrad won’t be driving into my neighborhood anytime soon, not unless he wants his tires slashed.”
“Carmen,” Skipper chimes in. “This isn’t a fucking game.”
“You can’t keep me here. Let’s face it—I’m safer back home than I am here. Conrad knows I’m with you, which means you’ll have more black cars speeding through the desert to look forward to. Not to mention that your own lives are at stake here. What about the club? Don’t you care?”
Carter gives me one of his famous hard glances, indicating that he does in fact care, perhaps more than he’s letting on.
“It’s better for everyone if I go back home, and you know it.”
After a beat of silence, Vex steps forward. “She’s right.”
“Of course I’m right.”
The other two don’t look so convinced, but that’s not enough reason for me to stay here and obey their every command. They only care about me because I’m apparently deemed worthy in the eyes of men.
Twenty-one-year-old me would be flattered.
Twenty-eight-year-old me finds it to be a death sentence.
If you stick around with men long enough, they’ll find a way to destroy you.
Whether they’re getting you into booze or into bed, it’s not worth it when you have a child back home relying on you, hopelessly praying that one day you’re gonna wake up and change.
Today, I make that change.
I put a stop to all of this.
“Let me drive you home,” Carter says, following me out into the main room.
I ignore his comment, beelining for the door so I can jump on the first motorcycle I see. I’ve ridden on the back of these things enough now to know how to operate one.
“I’ll drive myself. It’s safer.”
“Carmen?”
The other two catch up. I increase my speed, descending the veranda stairs.
“Carmen!”
I snap around, more taken aback by Carter’s perfect face than I am by the gun in his hand, pointed directly at me.
I freeze on the spot. This day was bound to come. He was always gonna turn on me. I just didn’t think it was gonna be today.
I’m inclined to raise my hands above my head. I don’t like to plead for mercy when it comes to men if I can help it. But I’m gonna have to if I want to make it out of the desert alive.
The other two chuckle behind him.
“Something funny?” I snap.
Carter lowers the gun and walks closer to me. The normal thing to do would be to run away, but I do the one thing I always seem to do when Carter Trescott walks toward me—I stay.
“You thought I was gonna kill you?” He looks at me with weariness.
“You had a gun pointed toward me.”
“Apologies. Hold out your hand.”
“Why? It’d be more entertaining if you watched me kill myself?”
“Just do as I say.”
Like he’s the king or something, I listen.
That’s when he lays the gun out in my palm.
“A leaving present? How nice of you.”
“You need to protect yourself. And your kid.” His face is strained when he says that last part of the sentence. “It’s a powerful weapon, but I trust you to be careful.”
I stuff the gun into the pocket of my pants and turn to face the desert, like I’m in a western. It’s gonna be a long ride home without one of them keeping me company.
“You need to call me if you see or hear anything suspicious,” Carter insists.
Is this still an excuse to get into my panties?
I flick my eyes between the three bikers and second-guess if this is the right decision. Last night felt like sexual liberation. If I didn’t have Otis, I’d probably pay rent to the clubhouse and stay for a few more nights.
But my days of fun ended the day I got pregnant.
It’s just a shame I finally discovered what true fun feels like, when it’s already too late.
I tear my eyes away from their heart-wrenching faces.
Vex disappears into the garage and returns moments later with a motorcycle.
“This one doesn’t look as deadly, but it can get up to a good speed.”
I watch his giant hands brush over the controls as he gives me a tutorial, not expecting to be hit with a wave of heat.
I blame the desert.
I climb on and start the engine, but this time the vibrations don’t fizz all the way to my bones. The electric current that normally surges through me is absent. It probably has something to do with the fact that I’m holding on to the handlebars this time around, not sexy, motorcyclist muscle.
Before driving off, I feel the need to turn around and say, “Thanks.”
And now, I regret doing so.
Because I’m ninety-nine percent sure I just saw a tear fall from Carter’s eye.
Probably sweat from the desert heat.
I rev the engine and step on the gas. The bikers recede in the side-view mirror, and I watch their reflections more than the undulating road unwinding in front of me.
They stand like Roman pillars. Like they could weather a storm and still be standing in the same position afterward.
Which is why I’m so confused as to why I saw a tear in Carter’s eye.
I know what I fucking saw.
But I don’t know why I saw it.
I don’t walk into my house like a normal person. Instead, I crash through the front door.
“Oh my god,” I pant. “Sadie?”
I venture into the kitchen, my head low, trying not to catch the clock on the wall.
But my eyes have a mind of their own and go against my wishes.
It’s nine in the morning.
“Sadie?!”
When my call is met by silence, my stomach gets ready to flip. What if Conrad is one step ahead? What if he’s going to get to me through Sadie?
Through Otis?
The sound of brisk footsteps settle my nerves. Sadie waltzes into the kitchen and gives me a slanted smile, a steaming cup of coffee in her hand. “Hey…Carmen.” Her gaze fixates on my hair.
If I’m wearing it down, it’s because I have it blown out. I don’t wear my hair down unless it’s styled.
I guess you could call this styled…if the wind did a good enough job.
“You look like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backward.”
“I’m fine.” I straighten up and walk toward her with my shoulders back. “Oh my god, Sadie, I’m so unbelievably sorry. You’re not gonna believe what kinda night I’ve had.”
“Who was the lucky guy this time?” Sadie’s voice is forgiving, but I sense an underlying lilt of exhaustion.
I remind myself that I’m paying her one hundred bucks an hour, but she still doesn’t deserve to be lied to.
“Make that plural.”
“Huh?”
“I didn’t plan on being back this late. We need to talk. I may or may not have gotten myself into some shit.”
“How much shit are we talking about?”
“Life or death.
“Oh my god, Carmen.”