Chapter 18 Carmen #2
The journey to the clubhouse is a series of bumps and turns. The bike soars into the air and comes crashing down, just like my hopes and dreams of getting Otis back.
Maybe it will be possible to get him back. But with Conrad O’Neill, there are costs. And this one is going to be a big one.
My life.
That’s what he originally wanted.
Carter pulls up at the club before I can freak myself out anymore. Adrenaline is doing laps around my bloodstream, so I jump off the bike as soon as it stops moving and burst into the clubhouse, causing even more of a scene than the one happening in front of me.
Two words. Vex and Skipper.
One more. Chaos.
I run into their arms and that’s when the uncontrollable sobbing starts.
Skipper discards the burner in his hand, the device crashing to the ground as he brings me into his arms. “We’re gonna sort this.”
But everything is just words.
Another hand joins the embrace, rubbing light circles over my shoulder blade. I peek over Skipper’s shoulder and see Vex. And for the first time in history, he actually looks like a human being. His thick brows part to reveal sadness in his eyes, something I haven’t seen before.
Skipper steals a laptop from someone. “Give me that.” He hoists a foot up onto the bench, balancing the computer on his knee as he types.
Now somewhat able to brave the earth without a pair of biker arms strapped to me, I take off and loiter behind Skipper, watching the screen. “What are you doing?”
“Since the O’Neills don’t know how to pick up their cellphones, I’m trying something else instead.”
I take a look at the detailed map that means absolutely nothing to me. “You’re trying to find them?”
“Yeah.”
And just like that, the burner on the ground starts to buzz.
Vex squats down and answers it in a heartbeat.
All it takes is one Irish hello for the world to flip upside down.
“Conrad,” Vex says, putting the phone on speaker, drawing everybody else’s attention.
Other bikers in the main room pause what they’re doing to listen in. I didn’t know they cared.
“Carter is one lucky man.”
Conrad isn’t gonna make this easy for us. Instead of simply telling Vex where he’s keeping Otis, he first has to explain—in detail—what he heard earlier.
Vex’s hands crunch into fists. It’s a good thing there are more important matters to take care of. If there weren’t, I’m sure Vex would already be striking Carter to the ground for jumping into bed with me. Alone.
Because leaving others out of the bedroom seems to be the biggest crime you can commit in the outlaw world.
“You didn’t hear a peep,” Conrad taunts.
He pops the second p and it makes me break out in a cold sweat.
“What kind of mother leaves their infant son downstairs, unattended, to go off and have sex? I’ll answer that question for you, Carmen—since you’re probably in the room with Vex listing in on this conversation, just like you’re always with your bikers, and never with your son. ”
I finally understand why people get the urge to kill. Words encourage violence. Especially when Conrad opens his mouth.
I start toward Vex, ready to rip the phone from his hands and smash it under my boot—the next best thing since Conrad’s not here in the room for me to castrate.
But Skipper nets his arms around me and scoops me up. “Shh,” he says, placing a steady hand over my mouth. “You’re allowing him to get under your skin. Don’t.”
It’s easier said than done when he hits the nail right on the head. If I hadn’t been so selfish, I never would’ve let Otis out of my sight.
“You’re a bad mother, and you know I’m right. Otis would thrive so much better without you in his life. Which is why I’m willing to trade his life for yours.”
I need the world to swallow me whole.
I need to wake up in bed and take a giant gasp of air as I realize this was all just one big nightmare.
I bury my face in the crook of Skipper’s arm and let him hold me.
Why are they holding me? Why are they helping?
This is my doing, not theirs.
Vex and Skipper don’t even know the connection between Carter and Otis, and they’re still clenching their fists in anger as Conrad spits his venom.
Why?
“I’m going to send my location through to Vex, Carmen, and you’re going to come alone, unarmed. You’re going to trade places with Otis. If you don’t, you will bury your son.”
Carter lunges forward and does what Skipper prevented me from doing. He snatches the burner out of Vex’s hand and crushes it with his bare hands.
He stops himself from going all the way, and instead decides to yell a bunch of profanities down the phone that have Conrad roaring with laughter.
I’m now indecisive—do I want to burn Conrad or feed him his own testicles?
But I won’t get the chance to do any of that. The boys will probably get there first and work their magic for me.
Carter especially.
If looks could kill, everyone in this room would be dropping dead.
“Okay,” Conrad says. “I sent through my location. I will give you twenty-four hours. Remember. Alone, unarmed. Mine.”
I tremble at the last word.
Carter hangs up the phone and tosses it across the room. It flies over to the bar and hits two glass bottles of liquor, both of which shatter to pieces.
The pungent smell of alcohol floods into my nose. Now I’m even more sick than before.
I dump myself on the nearest bench and throw my face into my hands.
“Don’t,” I plead as soon as I feel the boys close in. I can already hear their resistance even though they haven’t even said anything yet.
I’m going there alone. It’s the only way.
It’s Otis or nothing.
After a minute of sulking, I jump up and retrieve the burner phone.
But Vex swoops in and gets there first, stealing it before I have the chance.
“The hell?”
“We’re going for you,” he says.
“You can’t.”
“This isn’t up for discussion, Carmen.”
“He’s right,” Carter adds, joining the conversation. They all circle around me.
I know their game—intimidate me until I surrender.
But they’re gonna die, and it’s gonna be my fault. This is what happens when people fly too close to Carmen. They get burned.
“This is my fault. All of it.”
“Don’t talk stupid,” Skipper says.
“It was me who decided to attend the auction in the first place. I dragged you into my mess.”
“Technically,” Carter challenges, “it was my fault for betting on you.”
“Which you wouldn’t have done, had I not been there that night.”
“Carmen.” Carter’s voice has the potential to break bones. “I don’t think you realize. Men like us don’t get second chances at life.”
Vex shifts beside him.
Skipper does the opposite and tenses up.
Carter continues, “You join a place like this when you’ve given up on life.
I can’t speak for Skipper and Vex, but a year ago after my mother’s passing, I became a prospect here to give myself a reality check.
To drink, forget, and punish the world for being so unfair to me.
But now I have a son. A woman. Those things are worth fighting for. ”
Skipper’s jaw hangs open. “Since when do you have a son?”
“Since a few hours ago. Otis is mine.”
Vex’s jaw joins Skipper’s on the floor.
Carter waves away their questions. “We’ll talk about this later. Right now we should save our energy to fight.”
Their enthusiasm is nice to hear, but it doesn’t get rid of the stabbing pain in my gut. These men have double-crossed Conrad O’Neill once before. That puts the bikers at the top of his kill list.
I raise onto my tiptoes to try and view the screen, but Skipper decides to be a pain in my ass and tuck the device into his chest. “You’re staying here where it’s safe,” he says.
“Thank fuck this isn’t happening all the way over in New York,” Vex says.
“I know,” Carter agrees. “Conrad would’ve struck before we even made it out of the state.”
Their willingness to fly over to New York and save me knots my stomach even more.
Why can’t they be the reckless bikers I once thought they were?
It’s easier to feel nothing than it is to feel heartbreak, and I already feel fragments of the organ cracking as I sit here admiring all three of them for what could be the last time.
I stretch out my hands and silently demand a hug. Skipper embraces me and he’s the one with the burner, so I play my cards right and slip the phone from his hand when his guard is down.
“Ah-ha!” I scuttle away over to the bar and launch myself over the bench to read the screen. I only need a few seconds…if the goddamn screen knows how to switch itself on.
Squatting under the bar, I tap on the screen until the device eventually decides to work. A message thread appears with Conrad. Scrolling past the hilarious but equally terrifying threats the bikers have sent, I finally get to the address.
The zip code tells me that this place is far from civilization. And when I copy and paste it into an old-school internet browser, the air in my lungs starts to feel toxic.
I choke on my next breath. A distribution center in the middle of fucking nowhere.
A fantastic place to keep a two-year-old hostage.
Vex rips the burner from me and shoves it in his pocket, unimpressed. “See. You can’t go to a place like that by yourself.”
I shut my eyes. It’s exhausting keeping them open.
I was beginning to think that I could change things. Escape my mother’s habits.
But that was never gonna happen.
Free will exists, and I decided to return to the clubhouse a second time when I could’ve said no. I didn’t have to sleep with them again.
But I did.
Because I prioritized fun over my own family.
I glance up at Carter. “I need you to look after Otis.”
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“Tell him I died. It’s better than him knowing I’ve been kidnapped by the same man who took him.”
“You’re not fucking going anywhere.” Carter lifts me up like I’m a rag doll and manipulates my limbs accordingly, sitting me onto a chair.
“I’m offended by your lack of faith in us.
The Venom Vultures MC has been running for generations.
This isn’t the first time a woman like you has been put under threat. It happens a lot. And guess what?”
Vex answers the question meant for me. “We win. Every single fucking time.”
Is it possible to have it all? The men, the son, the balance of family and fun? Vex, Skipper, and Carter have already proven themselves to be talented in bed. Do their talents extend out into other areas of their lives?
I think about Conrad O’Neill. He is at a huge physical disadvantage. Compared to the bikers, he’s tiny. If we can capitalize on that at the right time, there might be a way to come out victorious.
“Let me come with you.”
“And let you become collateral?” Vex says. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.”
“Think about it. We let Conrad think he’s winning. I go in there alone, unarmed, just like he told me on the phone. When he has me right where he wants me, you enter.”
They eye each other, telepathically deciding if this is going to be a good idea.
But I don’t have time for their indecisiveness. While they’re here worrying about my life, Otis is being held hostage somewhere, starved, dehydrated and confused.
I wanted to give Otis the perfect childhood, and now he has to go to sleep at night, scarred with images of the bogeyman—an entity I told him was fictional.
The bikers are still in deep thought, so I shoot up from the chair and head toward the exit.
If I want something done, I have to do it myself.