Chapter 23 Carmen #2
“Good. You can stop looking so downhearted now. I get it. For a woman who runs away from commitment, it’s a big step to bring Carter into yours and Otis’s life. But I stand by what I said before. Otis needs his father. They both deserve to know that the other exists.”
“I was thinking about telling Otis the truth. Actually, I had a whole speech prepared. And then Conrad stole it from me. He thought it would be hilarious to tell my son who his father is. Long story short, I killed him with a knife.”
“You k-killed…?”
“Conrad O’Neill. In front of my son. For opening his big fat mouth and ruining what could’ve been a really wholesome moment for us.”
Sadie takes another sip of tea, as if all my rambling has dehydrated her.
She’s still seated and not out of the door yet, which is a start.
“Please, Sadie, you can’t tell anyone about this.”
“You…killed?” Sadie blows out a breath. “Fuck. This is huge. But now it’s all over, right?”
“Right,” I say. “For the time being. The bikers are good at shooting. Very good at shooting. That place was a grave full of Irishmen when I left this morning.”
“You have my word. I won’t tell anyone about this. On one condition.” The girl watches me closely. “You stop running away.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“You have to stop running. This isn’t just about you anymore, Carmen. What about Otis? What if the O’Neills strike again?”
“Then I protect him with everything I have.”
“What you have is a blunt knife and a pair of Isabel Marants.” She glares at the boots on the mat. “Their money will buy you a good security system and better knives in case you ever need to kill one of Conrad’s relatives. But you don’t know the first thing about combat. They do.”
“I’ll take self-defense classes.”
“You’ll get your ass back on that billion-dollar-looking Harley outside, and return to their clubhouse. With Otis. Because in my two years of knowing you, I have never seen you glow this much.”
I stare at her, stunned.
“I told you it wasn’t a good idea for you to move away before, and look what happened.
You stayed. Because of them. You can fight it all you want, but what’s truly meant for you will never go away.
” She takes her tone down a notch. “You say you don’t wanna hurt them, but you’re doing exactly that by leaving. Wake up.”
I slump in my seat and let out a groan. I hate that she’s right.
“I was reconsidering New York. You could come with me…?”
“No,” snaps Sadie, killing the suggestion in an instant. “No New York. You have everything you want here. And that’s exactly why you want to run away.”
It hurts to think about how well things could turn out. Vex, Skipper, Carter, Otis and me. One big happy family. A team of five is much more daunting than a team of two. It opens up complicated, and I’m not good at dealing with that.
But they’d all make great fathers for Otis. They have all proved themselves worthy of that title.
“Come on.” A smile crawls onto Sadie’s face. “You haven’t been able to keep away from them so far. What makes you think this time will be different?”
This girl…
I rise from the chair and finish my cup of tea.
“Atta girl,” she cheers. “You go get ’em.”
“And what about you?”
“Duh, I’m your nanny. I’ll watch over him. But be back before nine, yeah? I have a date.”
“I’ll be back three hours before. To get you glammed.” I flash her a wink and grab the stolen Harley keys, heading outside.
I have two motorcycles now, one lots more brand-spanking-new than the other.
I hop on the flashy one and start up the engine.
My motorcycle riding abilities are starting to improve. Mind, I still have a long way to go until I reach Skipper, Vex, and Carter’s level (never happening), but I know what gears to grind to soar through the desert.
It’s late morning and the sun is beating down. The distant mountains come into focus. I set my eyes on them and feel something shift within me, not yearning from when I was on route to the airport, but peace.
What if things could work out?
I slip into a meditative state and enjoy the thrill that riding through the desert brings me.
I craved this sort of freedom as a child, to get away.
I wanted a place to ruminate that wasn’t my bedroom floor.
The only time I escaped the nicotine-scented house I grew up in was at school, and that sucked even more than the passive smoking.
Because if I wasn’t in my mom’s house, I was listening to peers talk about her in vulgar ways.
My whole life, I have been living so close to the desert, yet so far away.
In some ways, I should be thanking Conrad for spilling my coffee and inviting me to be a part of his sex show. If I hadn’t attended, Carter Trescott and his friends never would’ve entered my life and spun it around.
As Sadie said, this is best for Otis. The last thing I want is for my boy to grow up and erect walls around his heart, just because he saw his mother do the same.
I squint through the dust to see a blurred figure charging toward me in the distance. I ease off the gas and hope that my life isn’t about to be disrupted again by seedy Irishmen.
But as soon as I see that monster of a bike hurl toward me, I know I’m going to be okay.
I step on the brakes.
We all come to a screeching halt, the air filling with three clouds of smoke from my bike.
And two others.
Two others…
I clamber off the bike and sprint over to them.
My heart is in my stomach.
I feel sick.
Vex and Skipper are here. Where is—?
“Carter?” I wheeze, more out of breath than I realized. “Where is he?”
They walk toward me, armored in thick leather and bold tattoos.
“He’s okay,” Vex assures.
“Define okay.”
“He’s alive.”
“And his leg?”
“Won’t be getting the chop,” Skipper says. “Luckily, the gunshots weren’t in close enough range to shatter any bones or tear any muscle. He’s stable.”
I exhale a sigh of relief and almost bring the pair of them in for a hug.
Almost.
Vex has some serious explaining to do.
I fold my arms over my chest and hitch an eyebrow up at him. “Let her go?”
He hardens his jaw.
“You wanna tell me what that was all about?”
He rakes a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair, taming it from the crazy wind whistling between us. “You needed to go,” he says. “You needed time alone to come to your senses. I knew you’d come back.”
“The same way you knew I was at the airport?”
“Yeah.” His quicksilver smile melts me more than the blazing afternoon sun. “You were hurting and feeling guilty about everything. Even though you killed Conrad, I still knew you were still planning on leaving.” His smile deepens. “But you always come back, princess, don’t you?”
I flick my hair into the wind and try to be nonchalant about this.
But what’s the point? They know what kinda life I lived before them. They saw the stripped walls of my house. They met Otis. They saw me murder a man and hyperventilate about it afterward.
If they can bear witness to all of those horrible things, they can witness something more positive—me finally agreeing with them.
“Yeah, it’s true. Guess I can’t stay away.”
Skipper cracks a squinted smile.
The sun is beating down hot. We should get out of here, but I’m enjoying being out in the middle of the desert confessing my love. It’s like the movies.
“Otis.” The smile disappears from Vex’s chiseled face. “Where is he?”
“Sadie’s taking care of him. Actually, she’s the one you donuts should be thanking.
If it wasn’t for her, I’d still be sulking at home.
” I take a step closer. “While we’re on the topic of Otis, how would you two like to be a part of his life?
Carter gets to be his biological father, but you can never have too many… non-blood-related ones.”
The men turn to each other with waggled eyebrows.
“Vex will be in charge of discipline,” says Skipper. “I’ll be the fun one.”
Carter looks more Egyptian Mummy than he does biker.
But despite the shocking appearance, I still jump into his arms the second he invites me into them.
“Oh my god. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry—”
“Ah. I’ll hear nothing of the sort.” He sets me down on the chair beside him and runs a bruised finger over my lip before eventually deciding to bring me in for a kiss.
I sigh into his touch and let his warmth wrap around me like a blanket.
Everything’s okay.
Everything will always be okay.
“Otis—?”
“Is back at my place with Sadie.”
“I’m surprised you’re still living in a place…like—”
“Like what?” I challenge Carter. “Like a junkyard? The plan was to move out of state, remember? Not everyone receives a million dollars and throws it away on real estate, you know?” I flash him a wink.
“The place needs some serious TLC. Maybe I’ll finally get around it now since all of this has been put to bed. ”
“You should ask Skipper for a helping hand.” Carter slaps his shoulder. “Did you know he built his own boat?”
Vex joins us. They all sit in a weird semi-circle around me, each with a lingering smile on their face.
“We have one thing left to do,” Carter says.
“Oh yeah?” I tip my chin. “What’s that?”
Vex says, “As a woman, if you wanna be part of the club, there are rules for you to abide by.”
This is when they tell me they need my help melting dead bodies.
“As much as I love this place, and all of you, I’m gonna have to pass on becoming your accomplice.”
All three burst out laughing, their gravelly voices mixing in the air to form a beautiful sympathy. One I could gladly listen to for the rest of my life.
“Accomplice?” laughs Carter. “No, princess. You’re mistaken. The rule is that you become our girl. We have a ceremony. It takes place in the tattoo parlor out back. We each write our names onto your skin. That way, everyone knows who you belong to.”
The dark look plastered across Carter’s face suggests that this ritual comes served with a side of something else. Something lots more exciting than tattoo ink.