23. Tamara #3
I shake my head. “No. It’s my turn, Leonid.”
I watch him exchange glances with Finn who is standing behind me, and whatever he sees prompts him to stand back.
I step inside the container, the toe of my boot nudging the body of a young woman. I peer down at her, at what’s left of her, and realize that she must’ve been one of the first to die. I can’t help her.
Raising the flashlight, I cast the glow across the rear of the container where the bodies are huddled together in a macabre bonfire heap, a sob building inside my chest and making everything hurt.
All dead. Traffickers have such little regard for human life that they treat these people as objects with no care for if they live or die.
I can’t swallow. I’m numb, the flashlight an extension of my trembling hand.
I’m about to turn away, when I catch a glimmer of something that makes my heart skitter. I step closer, the flashlight glow shimmering with my movement.
“Hello?” I murmur. Then I repeat it in Russian. “Privet.”
Nothing moves. Maybe I was mistaken. Maybe it was the last of my hope projecting life into this unimaginable horror.
But then the light settles on a small face. Dark sunken eyes. A child buried beneath a pile of bodies.
I gasp. My heart stutters and then picks up a crazy pace.
One child out of many. It’s desperately sad, but if we can save her, we won’t have failed completely.
Ignoring the bile rising in my throat, I crouch low so that I’m at eye level with the terrified child. “My name is Tamara,” I say in Russian, keeping my voice low and steady. “I want to help you.”
The child doesn’t move. Who can blame her? She has watched everyone around her die. She has had no food or water since she left her home country, and she has absolutely no reason to trust anyone in the world.
I crawl closer. “What’s your name?”
Nothing.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.
I’m not going to hurt you. I came to this country in a container just like this one, but I was lucky.
I had my sister with me. What was even luckier for me and my sister was that someone found us and gave us a home.
That person is here with me now. If it wasn’t for him, I would’ve died too. ”
The silence stretches on endlessly. If I can’t coax her out of her hiding place, she will always associate me with taking her against her will, and I will be as bad in her eyes as the men who bought her.
Then my heart leaps when I hear a whisper.
“Katya.”
“Katya?” I can’t keep the excitement from my voice. “Is that your name, Katya?”
The child doesn’t speak, but her eyes remain on mine, and I’m taking it as a win.
“Katya, will you let me come closer?”
I allow several beats to pass before I shuffle closer, keeping the flashlight away from her eyes. I can’t reach her like this. I need to clear a direct route to her without reminding her that she’s surrounded by corpses.
“Katya, will you do something for me?” I stay where I am. “Will you close your eyes?”
She appears to shrink visibly in front of me, and I know I’m going to lose her if I don’t act quickly.
“We’ll play a game. I’ll close my eyes and count to three, and then you can do the same. Ready? I’ll go first.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, count to three, and open them again. Katya is still watching me.
“Your turn, Katya.” I don’t give her the opportunity to protest. “Go.”
My heart practically sings when she closes her eyes. I quickly shift the body of the woman in front of me while I count out loud. On three, she opens her eyes.
I smile and shuffle closer while she watches me. “Well done, Katya. This time, we’ll count to five. I’ll go first again.”
I repeat the process counting to five out loud.
“Your turn.”
She closes her eyes, and I have to stifle a sob when I move the body of another child away from her. When I get to five, she opens her eyes again.
I crawl closer. I’m so close now that I can reach out and touch her. “Katya, you’ve been so brave, but I need you to do one more thing for me. Will you give me your hand?”
Her eyes startle like a frightened rabbit.
“Please trust me, Katya. I’m on your side. I won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone else hurt you.” My heart cracks open, because I made the same promise to Ivana, and I let her down, but perhaps this is my chance to atone for what I’ve done. “I’ll stay with you, I promise.”
My heart thuds while I wait for her to react. I don’t know what to do if she won’t willingly come with me, but I have to see this through one way or another.
Then a small pale hand slides out from between the two corpses on either side of her, and I take it in mine. She feels like ice, and the chill travels down my spine.
“Thank you, Katya. I’m going to pick you up now and get you off this ship.”
I scoop her into my arms, alarmed when she feels as light as a kitten. She buries her face against my chest, and I carry her out of the shipping container, meeting the eyes of Finn and Leonid as I step onto the deck and gulp fresh air.
I walk down the ramp and onto the dock without breaking my stride and keep walking.