Shirlene #2
And it’s sensible to make an easy friendship with the man who refuses to arrest you for an arrestable offense.
I gave them both a jovial, but reserved, wave, and they returned the gesture.
They were in the shade of the building, so they managed to be a bit more enthusiastic with their actions.
I didn’t change course to approach them and see what they were talking about in the shade.
The red barn further up the creek was the only destination for me.
As I passed the row of buildings that lined the north side of Liberty Lane, D’yer Mak’er faded away and the sounds of a different song tickled at my ears.
I couldn’t quite make out what song Auggie had playing inside the barn, even though the doors were open, inviting the sunshine inside.
As I made my way across the grassy area behind the buildings on Liberty Lane, and then up the last patch of road to the barn’s entrance, I could make out the song.
It was Pale Blue Eyes by Velvet Underground.
Auggie’s hammering added percussion to the song, permeating the air just outside the barn with a melancholy medley.
When I first recognized the song, and the unenthusiastic hammering, I almost decided to hook a left and book it to Jack’s place.
Giving him the mail and then hiding away in my room, clad only in boxers and reading my sign language books, was a preferable alternative.
However, I had told myself I would complete my two tasks before the day was over.
I was outside of the barn. I could see Auggie at his worktable at the back of the barn.
His head was down and he was focusing on whatever he had on the table before him, oblivious to my long shadow creeping into the barn.
If I ran away, it would only be harder to come back later.
So, I steeled my spine and stepped up to the door.
Unsure if I should announce my presence verbally, and startle him, I reached up tentatively and knocked on the doorframe.
Auggie faltered, hammered twice more, then put the hammer down on the table.
He turned towards the barn doors with a smile on his face.
When the sunlight caught the lower half of the diamond on his forehead, it seemed to glitter.
It made me want to smile, but I knew that a smile might not be welcome. It might be too assumptive.
When our eyes met, Auggie’s smile disappeared.
It didn’t slide from his face with disappointment or trepidation, it simply vanished.
His face was a blank mask, and he was staring through me with unseeing eyes.
That pained me more than if he had scowled or turned up his nose. Auggie looked, simply, indifferent.
“Hey,” I said.
He didn’t respond right away; he continued to stare through me.
“What?” he asked robotically.
“I came to apologize,” I said with a shrug. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“Okay. Good.”
“And I hoped that we could get over our fight,” I said.
Auggie’s uncaring eyes didn’t change.
“You’ve apologized. I don’t have anything to say,” Auggie said, his voice flat, his eyes just as empty as when he first spotted me.
“Seriously, man?” I sighed.
Auggie turned back to his worktable, ignoring me, and picked up his hammer.
Once he had slung the hammer down against whatever he was working on, but before he could repeat the action, anger rushed through me, and I found myself barreling into the barn.
Auggie continued his hammering as I stormed across the barn, aimed for the worktable.
When I marched up to his side, anger rolling off of me, Auggie didn’t even seem to notice.
He just went about his business as though a pissed off guy wasn’t bearing down on him.
“You know what?” I growled; my fists clenched at my sides. “You are really unforgiving for someone who didn’t mind taking me to that weird shit at the church—The Pueblo!”
Auggie continued to hammer.
“You asked me to go to The Pueblo and didn’t even warn me that it was going to be wild, but I didn’t stop talking to you.
I didn’t give you the cold shoulder. I talked to you about it.
And I forgave you. I may not be perfect, Auggie, and yeah, I said some mean stuff to you, but I’m trying to be the bigger person here.
I came to apologize for being a jerk to you and you won’t even look at me. ”
More hammering reached my ears.
Anger continued to boil up inside me as Auggie refused to acknowledge my presence, instead preferring to focus his energy on the roll of metal on the table.
My fuse was lit. I wasn’t lying to Auggie.
I’d had reasons before to be mad at him, but I’d given him a chance to explain himself.
I hadn’t just brushed him off and pretended he wasn’t even a person.
I’d tried to be understanding. I tried to comprehend that Possibly was a different place and the customs might be different.
Auggie hadn’t even considered that the change to my life—moving to Possibly—might have jolted my system. It hadn’t been an easy adjustment for me. I was still going through it.
But he didn’t care.
“You know what?” I asked, throwing my hands up angrily. “Starbuck was the name of the first mate on the Pequod in Moby Dick. It’s not the name of the ship.”
Auggie hammered harder.
“And it was a whaling boat—not a pirate ship.”
His hammering got louder.