Chapter 9 The Angel’s Reasons
The Angel’s Reasons
At five in the morning, on the verge of catching pneumonia, I swapped the bathtub for the couch and a light blanket. Trying to find some kind of anchor to hold me to past happiness, I watched Wings of Desire for the umpteenth time.
It’s strange to see how the passing of time affects modern classics like this movie. In our era of smartphones and social networks, the pace of this black-and-white movie is intolerably slow. We no longer know how to stay still in front of a screen where nothing is happening. Or almost nothing.
I was almost catatonic with shock, numbed by the cold bathwater and sleeplessness. Maybe that’s why I felt better listening again to the angel’s reasons for giving up eternity.
It’s great to live by the spirit, to witness day by day, for eternity, only what’s spiritual in people’s minds. But sometimes I’m fed up with my spiritual existence. Instead of forever hovering above, I’d like to feel a weight grow in me to end the infinity and to tie me to earth.
As my eyes were closing, I thought I’d felt something like that when I came down from my own sky of German authors and composers of classical music to love Gabriela.
The man who’d taken refuge from reality and left the world on the wings of art and culture had come down to earth again to experience the simple pleasures.
This was my last thought before I fell asleep.