Chapter 3 #2
“I…” Bel trailed off, because was his refusal to have children the problem, or was it the fact that once again, he’d decided their future for them? “I don’t know.” She rubbed her temples to ward off the oncoming headache. “I just didn’t expect this to become a conversation this weekend.”
“We don’t have to talk about it now.” He removed a hand from his pocket and extended it to her, and with an internal sigh of relief, she took the offering.
“It just seems like you won’t talk about it ever,” she said. “It seems you’ve already decided.”
“I don’t want kids, Isobel. I never have, and perhaps I should’ve told you sooner.
” He studied her face to gauge her emotions, but in truth, she didn’t even know how to process this news.
Was it a problem? Did she want kids? Or did she just like the idea of kids?
Or did she simply expect that they were her future because she came from a large family?
“If you really want to be a mom, I’ll understand that this is a deal breaker, but I can’t do it. It was hard enough to watch the centuries be born and die. I can’t do that with our children.”
“Can we put a pin in this?” Only a few months ago, she’d stormed his proverbial castle to demand he never leave her.
She didn’t want to talk about deal breakers, not during a weekend where they were supposed to be celebrating.
“My family’s here. It’s my birthday. We’re in a good place in our relationship.
I don’t want to discuss things that might end us. ”
“You think this could end us?” His entire body went as still as his last name.
“No.” The fear of that question forced her forehead against his chest, and breath reanimated his lungs as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
“I’m just upset, and I’m not sure how to process this information.
No kids, and you plan to kill yourself when I die? How did you expect me to respond?”
“Sorry for the bad timing.”
“Let’s get back to my family before they think we’re fighting.” She pulled away from him, her insides churning.
“Isobel.” Eamon caressed her cheek. “This is clearly bothering you.”
“Yeah, well…” She sighed with a helpless shrug. “I just need time to figure out how I feel.”
“I love you; you know? I’m not doing this to hurt you, but I won’t lie.”
“I know.”
He stared at her as if he didn’t believe her.
“I love you too,” she finally said as she laced her fingers through his for their return to the group.
“Please don’t ever stop.” He pulled her against his side. “I can’t live without you.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think I have the ability to stop loving you.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “Even if we break up, I’ll still love you. Nothing will ever change that.”
“Hey, everything okay?” Briar asked as she slid her son into his highchair. “You seem off.”
“I’m fine,” Bel brushed off her sister’s concern. Her family was scheduled to leave after brunch, and she wanted to enjoy the meal without her siblings weighing in on whether Eamon’s revelation would prove an irreconcilable difference.
“I saw you and Eamon talking yesterday,” Briar pushed, and Bel wished that just once in her life, her family would choose the less intelligent path and grow unobservant. “Did he say something?”
“We’re fine,” Bel insisted as Eamon slid a plate overflowing with bacon onto the table. He and her father had taken it upon themselves to cook, and the brunch spread looked more like a luxury hotel’s breakfast than her boyfriend’s dining room.
“All right, I hope everyone’s hungry!” Eamon shouted as Bel’s five sisters, their husbands, their kids, Wendy Darling, and her two brothers swarmed the aromatic room.
“This smells divine,” Wendy gushed as she leaned over the French toast. “Do you like your job? Because I could be convinced to pay you double your current salary to cook full time for me.”
“You could never afford me.” Eamon winked at the pretty blonde and patted her shoulder affectionately before catching Bel’s eyes. “Besides, I already work as a chef for someone else who pays very well.”
“Hey!” Reese thumped Eamon as he delivered the pot of coffee to the table. “That’s my daughter.”
Eamon shrugged at Bel as the room laughed at her father’s mock outrage, and below the bustle, it was as if only they existed.
His teasing smile softened, and she stood by her words.
Even if she couldn’t live with his refusal to have children, even if it drove her to leave, she would always love him.
“Well, if you need me, I’m here for you.” Briar broke the spell, and Bel pulled her gaze from Eamon’s to meet her sister’s stare.
“I know.” She captured Briar’s hand because she wanted to talk about it. Just not now. Not when her entire family was here to celebrate her over a home-cooked meal. “I’m fine,” she repeated. “We’re fine.” She squeezed her sister’s hand before releasing it in favor of sitting beside Eamon.
“You hungry?” he whispered into her hair as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“The question is not if I’m hungry. It’s ‘Is Cerberus hungry’?” She leaned her head against his chest, savoring the way her smaller body fit so perfectly beside his powerful frame. “Because it’s time to eat, yet I don’t see my dog anywhere.”
“Don’t be mad if you find him in a food coma,” Eamon laughed. “Reese and I are suckers. John and Michael Darling too. Actually, your entire family is. That animal will need to go on a diet after this weekend.”
“Me too after this breakfast.” She twisted in his embrace and pressed her lips to his.
She meant it to be a quick show of affection, but she couldn’t stop herself from sinking into his arms. He kissed her back, all the love in his body fueling his movements, and it took extraordinary willpower on both their parts to pull apart.
“I love you, Isobel Emerson,” he whispered against her mouth. “Never forget that.”
“Thank you for this weekend. For my library. For this breakfast.” She settled into her chair and tugged him to a seat beside her. “For welcoming my entire family into your home.”
“It was my pleasure. I enjoyed it, experiencing what family is supposed to be like.”
“Yet you don’t want one of your own.”
“Having them here reinforces why I don’t want one.” He laced his fingers through hers as their guests dug into the piled-high serving plates. “These beautiful people you call your own. I’ll lose them. But first we’ll lose Cerberus.”
“Don’t say that,” she hissed.
“It’s the truth. He’s a dog, and the species isn’t eternal. We’ll lose him one day, and then I’ll lose your family, and finally you. I can’t bear to lose our kids too. It’s better this way. It’s better if we leave this world together.”
“Cerberus, baby?” she called, overwhelmed by the sudden need to hug her best boy.
“Hey, your baby is fine.” Eamon brushed a hand through her hair. “He’s going to live a long and beautiful life. I’ll make sure of it. I mentioned it only to put this into perspective for you.”
“There you are.” Bel dove off her chair as her pitbull wandered into the dining room and collapsed at her feet. “I don’t even want to think about you getting old. You aren’t allowed to.” She kissed his beefy head.
“I feel the same way.” Eamon rubbed the dog’s velvet-soft ear between his fingers, but Bel knew his words weren’t solely for the animal, yet the analogy stuck her in the heart.
Pets didn’t live as long as their parents.
She wouldn’t live as long as Eamon. She suddenly understood his pain, his refusal to have children, and her anger at his insistence dissipated somewhat.
“I love you.” She kissed Cerberus one last time before capturing Eamon’s strong jaw in her palms. “And I love you too.”
“Thank God for that. Now eat before all my hard work gets cold.” He leaned across the table and snatched some of the rapidly dwindling French toast.
“This bacon,” she moaned as she bit into the crispy strip. “It tastes expensive. You have got to stop buying this. I’ll never be able to go back to the regular grocery store packages.”
“That’s the idea.” He scooped a large pile of the salty meat onto her plate, but before she could enjoy it, her phone rang.
“It’s Griffin,” she cursed when she saw her boss’ name sprawled across the screen. It was Sunday. He knew she was off. Which meant his call could only mean one thing.