Chapter 5
five
. . .
piper
It takes me at least a minute to realize what I’ve done. Of course, I’ve probably ruined our friendship. I immediately pull back and bury my face in my hands.
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” Beau reaches for me and I scoot away from him. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Piper, it’s fine.” His voice is calm. That’s a good sign. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I overstepped a boundary.
His hands circle my wrists as he tries to pull my hands from my face. Too bad it’s not happening. There’s no way I’m letting him see the embarrassment I feel right this second. If the ground opens up and swallows me whole, I’ll be completely fine with it.
I turn in the other direction planning my escape. In the years we’ve been friends, Beau has seen me do a lot of dumb things, but this takes the cake. There’s no excuse for me kissing him. Especially when I don’t even know how he feels about me.
I move to get off the couch, but Beau’s voice stops me.
“Damn it, Piper, would you look at me?”
It’s not the words that make me turn toward him. It’s the frustration in his voice. I’ve never shut him out like this. He didn’t even do anything wrong. It was me.
The pain in his eyes breaks my heart. It shouldn’t since I’m the one who put it there.
“I don’t know what came over me, Beau. I really am sorry.”
He grabs my hand and laces his fingers through mine. An action we’ve done hundreds of times since we were teens, but this time it feels…different. Or, maybe it’s just me.
“If you think one kiss is going to make me question our friendship, you don’t know me at all.”
“That’s not what I think.” It’s partially true. Do I think I screwed things up between us? Yes. But I know that’s fixable over time.
“Why were you trying to run away?” He gives my hand a squeeze. “You don’t run unless you’re scared. Hell, even then, I’ve never seen you run.”
“Embarrassment.” I study the fabric of my jeans. “I kissed my best friend. Without your consent I might add. I was too caught up in the excitement and reacted.”
“It wasn’t a bad kiss. If that makes you feel better.”
He really thinks that will make me feel better? It doesn’t. He’s basically saying the kiss was okay. Talk about a punch to the ego. Never in my life has anyone said kissing me was not bad.
“You sure know how to make a gal feel better.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” This time he studies his pants and pulls his hand free from mine. Things are definitely weird now.
“What did you mean, then?” There isn’t much he could say that would make me feel any better about the situation I’ve put us in.
“All I’m saying is I wasn’t opposed to the kiss.” His eyes meet mine and they are no longer full of sadness. Is that hope? “And I wouldn’t be if you did it again.”
Whoa…what? I must not have heard that right. He wouldn’t be opposed to kissing again? Not the words I was expecting to hear. Too bad it’s not a good idea.
“W-we probably shouldn’t.” I’m back to staring at the floor. It’s too much to look at him and see the possible disappointment. Even if I am flattered, he thinks I’m a good kisser. “We’re both caught up in the moment. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Lie. Probably the biggest one I’ve ever told myself. The kiss itself may not have been long and passionate, but it was perfect. He kissed me back, though.
“Piper, I know you’re my best friend and know me better than anyone else, but I’m gonna need you to not tell me how I feel.
” He sighs, and even though I’m not looking at him, I know he’s running his hand through his hair.
It’s what he does when he’s frustrated and trying to find the right words.
“The kiss took me by surprise, but I’m not mad it happened. I’ve wanted it too, for so long.”
“What do you mean?” I wanted to ask how long, but I’m not sure I want the answer to that.
“I mean, I think we’re both at an age where we can explore what would happen between us as more than friends.”
He’s not wrong in that aspect, but what if it ruins everything between us. I cannot lose him as my best friend. He’s the only person who completely understands me. Not even my siblings can say that.
Now, I do look at him. I want to see his reaction to what I’m about to say.
“I think we should keep things on the friend level. I love you, Beau, but I don’t want anything to change for us.
You are the one constant in my life, and I can’t lose that.
Who else would I turn to when shit hits the fan at the winery?
And who would you seek out when your annoying coworker won’t stop breathing over you.
If we were to see how we do as a couple, and things go south, we lose each other completely. I can’t live with that.”
Shockingly, he doesn’t look upset. More resigned, like he knew what I was going to say. I may try new things when it comes to my job, but I can’t risk that with him.
“I get it.” He nods and leans back against the cushion. I thought he would put up a fight. “But…when you’re ready to take that leap, I’ll be here.”
“How do you know I’ll ever reach that point?”
“Who knows you better than anyone? Me. That kiss meant something.” He points to my mouth. “Whether you want to admit it or not. And I’m good at waiting.”
Well, he’s becoming awfully cocky. I’m not sure how I feel about that. “Whatever you say. Let’s finish eating and watch a movie.”
“I know.” He taps his finger to his forehead. Ugh, he can be so annoying. “What do you want to watch?”
The way he can flip from serious conversation to fun has always astounded me. I’ll be replaying this entire conversation for days and overthinking it because that’s what I do. I may have a go-getter attitude on the outside, but I always second guess what I do.
“It doesn’t matter to me. Pick something we haven’t seen before.”
He picks a movie I’ve never heard of and we settle into the movie. I don’t even know what genre it is, but I guess we’re about to find out.
This feels comfortable. Him beside me on his sofa watching a movie.
We spent so many of our nights in high school just like this.
Neither one of us could be bothered to go out and party with the rest of our classmates.
We didn’t need to. We had each other. If I take things further than friendship with him, we could lose nights like tonight.
I know I’ve made the right decision. At least, I hope I did.
Parker’s truck is sitting in my driveway when I pull in. This can’t be good. The evening already started off rocky, even if Beau made it fine by the end of the night.
He walked me to my car like he normally does and waited until I left the driveway to go back inside.
It felt the same and different. Like there was a charge in the air.
I’m chalking it up to my impromptu kiss.
That’s the only explanation. And the fact he admitted he has feelings for me.
I can’t act on my own though. Anytime I try to take on something big lately, it’s blown up in my face and I can’t have it happen with him.
My brother is clearly here for a reason, and I need to push away any thoughts about Beau. I park my car and step out after turning it off. “How did you know I was on my way home?”
“We have that tracking app. I saw you were leaving Beau’s and figured I’d meet you here.” He grins to hide whatever it is that has him concerned.
“So, you were stalking me? Great.”
“I wouldn’t call it stalking. You’re my sister, I had to make sure you were safe after your date.”
“Yeah, well that went nowhere.” I wave away the questions he’s opening his mouth to ask. “Is there a reason you’re here right now?”
He scratches the back of his neck. “Yes?”
“Sounds like you don’t know. Clearly this could have been a text or waited until tomorrow.”
“It could, but I wanted to warn you before you got into work. Pierce isn’t happy.”
“Still could have been a text.” I grumble as I push past him and unlock my door. “What does he have stuck up his butt now?”
Parker follows me inside and closes the door behind us. “The Instagram stories.”
Those three words stop me in my tracks. I thought for sure I’d have more time for him to find out. He’s not chronically online like some of us. It’s also why he doesn’t know what’s trending when it comes to growing businesses.
“How did he find out about those? I literally just did them.”
He moves past me and heads straight to the sofa. “I’ll give you two guesses, but you’ll only need one.”
He sits down, waiting for me to join him. Why are my brothers so damn intrusive? I drop my bag on the counter and head toward the fridge. I’ll need a drink to deal with this mess.
“How did Peter even know?” I grab the two beers and head toward my brother. “I didn’t even realize he had any social media accounts.”
Parker shrugs and takes the beer I hold out for him. “I didn’t either. Apparently, he set one up ages ago because his friends talked him into it. That’s beside the point. He set up notifications for when the Starlit Fields account shares posts. He saw them and snitched to Pierce.”
“One of these days he’ll have to grow a spine and stop doing what others tell him he should.”
The beer is cold against my mouth as I take a sip. I’d much rather be here with Beau. Hell, maybe if I’d stayed over there, I could have prolonged this encounter.
“I doubt that will happen. Not until it’s something he really wants, anyway.”
“Kissing Pierce’s ass isn’t going to make him any nicer toward him. I hope he knows that as he sells out his siblings one by one.”
Maybe Paula was the smart one and got out when she could. She doesn’t have to deal with any of this bullshit with our older brother. I’m shocked he didn’t call to yell at me. I guess he’s waiting until I see him in person.
“I don’t think he cares.” He takes a long swig of his beer. “What were you doing at Beau’s? I thought you had a date.”
“Are there no secrets in this family?” I throw my hands in the air.
“You know the answer to that question.” He laughs at my reaction. He’s right, but damn. There are some things I would rather not everyone know. “I’m guessing it didn’t go well.”
“Considering he was trying to pick up future dates while I was at the table…absolutely not.”
“That’s gross. I don’t even have the audacity to do that. How did Beau like being a part of the stories?”
I can feel my cheeks warm at the sound of his name. Hopefully, my brother doesn’t notice.
“He was a good sport about it.”
“Of course he was. You have the poor guy wrapped around your finger.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“If I have to explain it, you aren’t ready to hear it.”
It’s not like Parker to be evasive like this. He has to know something I don’t. Too bad I made my decision and don’t want to know his thoughts.
“I kissed him.” I don’t know why I blurt it out, but I need to confide in someone.
“Whoa, what?” He shouts. Thank God I live pretty far away from the rest of the family, otherwise they may have heard his shout. He waves his hands in front of him. “Actually, never mind. I don’t need to know about your sex life.”
“Oh my God, Parker,” I groan. “We didn’t have sex. It was a kiss. I don’t even know why I did it. The stories went great and it was a gut reaction.”
“Maybe you should follow your gut more often.” He shrugs and looks away.
“Pfft. As if I’d take any advice from you.” I shake my head. “I followed my gut in the meeting and that didn’t turn out well. Besides, it’s not like I had your support.”
“The support shouldn’t matter, Little Sister. You should follow your heart.”
“Nope.” Doing that works for other people…not me. “I don’t want to screw things up with our friendship. It’s the one thing I won’t risk.”
He finishes his beer and sets it on the coffee table. “I can’t make you do anything, but think about it. Also, be prepared for the wrath of Pierce. I’m heading out.”
“Take your bottle to the trash can. I’m not your maid.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He waves and grabs the bottle.
I really need for my family to butt out of my life unless I ask them for advice. Or, to you know, support me. The last thing I want from them is dating advice.