Chapter Thirty-Five
Ashlynn
I knew I’d made a big mistake before I could even open my eyes. My head throbbed like I’d been smacked with a bat, and I could feel the nausea rolling in my belly.
I’d agreed to go out with some of the girls I worked with, but I didn’t know they planned to hit up a bar, and then a club. I’d had a few men come up to me, despite the ring I had moved to my left hand, but I tried to reject them and ended up drinking more every time I sent one away. Before I knew it, I was in a bad spot, tipsy to the point where more alcohol seemed like the best idea. I’d reluctantly agreed to a dance with the last man who came up to me, but I wasn’t counting on Steele being there to witness it.
And to punch the guy.
Of course he was still tracking me. I’d forgotten about the tracker in my ankle. Having it removed should have been the first thing on my mind when I returned to Derbyshire. I knew it was a huge violation of my privacy, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. It wasn’t like our relationship started off as conventional.
Once again, I was in his bed.
I could feel Steele’s arm around my torso, feel his chest rise and fall next to me. From the rhythmic tempo of his breathing, I gathered that he was sleeping, but when I gingerly rolled over to face him, his glacial blue eyes met mine.
I wanted to say so many things. That I was sorry for putting myself into a dangerous situation. That I was sorry for allowing him to be taken by my father. For leaving him.
But instead, he spoke first.
“How do you feel?”
I grimaced.
“That good, huh?” His hand gently caressed my shoulder, and I leaned slightly into his touch. I suddenly noticed that I was wearing his shirt and my dress was nowhere to be found.
“Did you undress me?”
His lips curved into a sly grin. “I did. And I enjoyed every second of it.”
I shoved him playfully, but then regretted it immediately as the nausea tried to overcome me. Instantly, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“What can I get you?”
“A new head. Perhaps a new body.”
He pulled my leg over his hip and tugged me closer to him. “I like this one here.”
I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of being held. I’d missed his affection; I missed his presence in my life. I’d missed him.
“What exactly happened last night?” I asked.
“You drank too much.” His eyes narrowed in disappointment.
I snorted. “Like you can talk.”
His face flushed red, almost as if he was embarrassed. It wasn’t an expression I had ever seen on his face before.
“What?” My curiosity was definitely peaked.
“I haven’t exactly been handling things well either.” He didn’t elaborate, his jaw clenched and his eyes darkened. I didn’t press him, not wanting to discuss my transgressions either. The truth was, I hadn’t been dealing well with our separation. Last night was the first time I actively went out and abandoned my hermit lifestyle. Normally I just worked my shifts and went home, sometimes going to the market. Occasionally I’d go to the nearest park, bringing with me the camera that Steele gifted me. It was a beautiful piece of equipment, and I enjoyed developing the photos I took in the dark room I’d created. On the weekends, I’d attend a virtual photography course given by a local university. It wasn’t necessarily a sad life, but I was lonely.
I had a few casual friends I made at the coffee shop where I worked, but that was it.
Steele was really the best friend I had.
It was a stark realization.
“There’s some ibuprofen on the nightstand. I’ll go get you some water.”
My gaze followed his frame around the dark room, drinking in the shape of his body. He was still as fit as ever, from his muscular chest down to his ass. His shoulders were rounded and all the corded muscles I liked so much were still there. I was glad for the darkness in the room; every time I saw his scars, either the ones he grew up with or the ones caused by my father, I felt sick inside.
I lay on my back, trying to make sense of my own complicated feelings. Did I want this? Did I want to be with Steele again?
He came back into the room with a glass of water and a bottle of scotch. He set the glass down on the nightstand for me and then unscrewed the lid on the scotch.
“Daniel.”
He stopped immediately at my use of his first name, and he looked at me.
“No more drinking. At least not before evening.”
I could see his struggle, his desire for booze. But his eagerness to please me was greater, and he replaced the lid on the bottle and left it on his nightstand.
“I’ll make you a deal,” he said, rubbing a thumb across the stubble on his chin. “I won’t drink as long as you’re beside me.”
“Fine,” I said, grabbing the glass of water and quickly swallowing the ibuprofen.
“I have one more condition.”
“What’s that?”
“As soon as your hangover is better, I get to make love to you. All damn day and all damn night. I want you until every man who came before me is lost to you, the ghost of their memories eradicated from your mind. I want you until you can’t possibly imagine another man between your thighs. I want you until there’s absolutely nothing left to take. I want you until every fiber of your being is mine and mine alone.”
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry despite the water. Somehow, it seemed like I was getting the better end of the deal.
Steele picked up takeout and practically force-fed me a cheeseburger. It was absolute heaven— draped on the couch, watching TV and eating. My legs were on Steele’s lap, and he’d been rubbing my feet off and on for the last hour. I was slowly starting to feel better, both physically and emotionally.
I wasn’t sure how or when it happened, but I was in love with Steele. I tried to think back, wondering how long I’d felt that way. I had been attracted to him almost instantly, but my feelings had been slow to develop. Maybe it was the night he cared for me after I was attacked by Lord Stanley, or perhaps when he confided in me about his mother. There was also the possibility that I’d been slowly falling in love with him since day one, and specific moments had just added to the little bit I felt for him. When he”d squeezed my hand during the opera, I’d felt a surge of affection. Little by little, without my knowing it, he’d etched out a place in my heart and filled it completely.
Now I had to tell him. I was more scared of telling him than I was when he first took me hostage.
“Steele?”
“Yes, my love?” He turned his face away from the TV to listen to whatever I was going to say.
“I—”
His phone rang, ruining the moment. He looked at the caller and then his eyes bulged and his pupils constricted.
Something was wrong.
Deathly wrong.
He answered the call quickly, putting his hand up to quickly silence me.
“Steele.”
I could hear the male’s voice on the other line. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but I knew the tone. It was a voice I’d recognize anywhere.
My father’s.
A cold sweat moved down my entire body, and a sense of overwhelming foreboding ran down my spine.
Horror crossed Steele’s expression, and my foreboding went to overwhelming panic. The longer the call stretched on, and the more clenched Steele’s jaw got, the more trouble I knew we were in. I thought my father would leave Steele alone, figuring that he and Steele were now equal.
But from the paleness of Steele’s face, I knew it wasn’t over.
“I won’t do it,” Steele said, the venom in his voice practically poisonous.
I heard a deep chuckle on the other end, and then Steele dropped the phone on the couch.
“You have to stay here, Ashlynn. I have to take care of this.” He launched to his feet, looking around the room for his clothes, dressing as if he was going to war. Dark jeans, a dark shirt, a leather jacket.
“I won’t stay here, Steele! What in the hell is going on? What does my father want?”
Steele looked at me in pity. “He has Cooper. He wants a trade.” He grabbed a handgun from the nightstand drawer and tucked it into the waistband in the back of his pants.
“You? You can’t be serious. I just got you back!”
He stopped dead in his tracks. Eyes searching mine, looking for the confirmation of what I’d said. One, two, three seconds. He looked at me as if I was the only thing in life that held any meaning for him. He worshipped me with his eyes, caressed me with his stare. His entire being seemed to absorb everything that I was.
He pulled me into his arms, kissing me fully on the mouth. It was the first kiss we’d shared since I’d left, and I tried to put every ounce of feeling I had into it.
Steele moaned slightly and then pulled my bottom lip into his mouth savagely. I panted, shocked by the level of his passion. My emotions were all over the place. I was scared, nervous, full of lust…I felt like the only thing holding me together was skin and muscle and tissue.
He broke our kiss suddenly, and then cupped my face in his large hands. His calloused fingertips rubbed my cheeks, and then he kissed me on the forehead.
He turned his back to me, heading out of his room and down the stairs.
I chased after him, wearing nothing but his shirt and my panties, my bare feet tripping on the rug in my haste. “Steele! You can’t do this. Bring me with you. I can make my father see reason.”
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, his back to me, shoulders slightly hunched.
“I can convince him to let you both go.”
Steele turned on the spot, looking up at me.
“It’s not me he wants, Ashlynn. It’s you.”