Chapter 21
Ashley
When Ryker enters me all the way, he stops, watching me like a hawk.
The first thing I feel is a sting. Fuck, I could have told him it’s been a while since I last had sex. A slight understatement on my part.
“Are you okay?” he asks, and I exhale.
“Yes. Just—just give me a moment to adjust to your size.”
“I haven’t heard a better compliment in a long time.” He chuckles.
“It’s been a while since I last—”
“I’d rather not know,” he interrupts me. “I don’t even want to think about anyone else being before me.”
I scold him right away. “You have a past too. Besides, are we really talking about other guys when you’re—”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” he threatens, covering my mouth with hand. Then he pulls it away and kisses me.
The burning sensation lessens with each movement of his tongue. Kissing him is addictive. Moments later, I move my hips a little, signaling that I’m ready.
Slowly, he pulls out of me and pushes in again. I’m so turned on, so hot, that there’s no way I can resist. My pussy is dripping wet. Ryker knows how to give a woman pleasure.
I don’t expect him to go for the missionary position. He looks more like the guy who prefers it quick, hard, and from behind, but who’s complaining? I certainly am not.
He holds me in the cage of his arms. It’s hot and slippery. We’re both sweaty, and instead of turning me off, it turns me on even more. A drop of sweat runs down his neck as he works me, and I lick it off.
“Ash, you’re perfect. Just fucking perfect.”
His low voice sends me into an extra vibration. He thrusts into me hard and deep. My heart is racing, and his is no different. Our breaths mingle when he’s not kissing or biting my lips.
“I knew it would be like this. I knew nothing would ever be the same again. It’s so good, my Little Killer. Look at us.”
I look down and see where our most sensitive parts touch. See his cock thrusting into me.
“It’s so hot,” I moan. “Oh God...”
Shaking, I close my eyes and let myself go with no control.
We move in unison, my hands wandering over his back, pulling him closer to me. His weight on me gives me a completely unknown sensation. It’s like a warm blanket enveloping me, like a cocoon. It’s like...
“Home,” Ryker pants, reading my mind. “You’re like home. So soft and warm, and you taste delicious. Your pussy is made for me, and I’m addicted.”
Our eyes lock. Suddenly, the world around me fades, and everything feels perfectly aligned.
The tension somewhere deep inside me starts to build. Another shiver runs through me, and I dig my fingers into his back, which is slippery with sweat.
“Ryker—I—” I start, though I don’t quite know what I want to say to him.
He twists his lips into a small smile, a secretive one. “I know, Ash. I know, baby.”
The pace of his hips doesn’t increase, but they start to thrust into me with even more force.
The pleasure builds inside me until everything suddenly stops. All I see is Ryker’s eyes, even when I close mine. When the first wave of orgasm hits me, my mouth opens and a scream escapes.
Ryker buries his face in the crook of my neck.
The walls of my pussy tighten around him like they want to suffocate him, causing him to shiver and break out in goosebumps.
Before my orgasm is over, I hear a low, deep, prolonged moan right next to my ear. Two more thrusts and Ryker’s hips freeze. He’s as deep inside me as is possible.
Lying there, we pant like two dogs tired from chasing each other. The last waves of orgasm are passing, and I feel so free, so soft.
A few moments later, our breathing calms down, and only then am I able to blurt something out. “This is more euphoric than the bloodiest revenge killing.”
Ryker’s body shakes with laughter he can’t hold back. “Oh, you’re naughty, my Little Killer. But you’re right. Absolutely right.”
Exhausted, we lie together in Ryker’s bed. It’s already afternoon, and we still haven’t left his bedroom. With brief breaks for sleep, we explore our potential in every way and in every known position. We can’t even get a shower alone.
We’re both insatiable. Maybe it’s because of the weeks we spent dancing around each other. Originally, I was sure it would go away with time, but it didn’t. My confidence waned with each encounter, where the tension between us was almost palpable.
The result is that we fuck like wild animals. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower and more sensually.
But there’s something else too. Something a little more frightening.
I used to be infatuated with Ryker. He was in my thoughts every day and in my dreams most nights as well.
Now, however, as we both succumb to this addiction, which is proving to be more powerful than I’d expected. And that's terrifying.
My hand traces patterns on Ryker’s chest. He lies on his back, pulling me closer with his arm. He hasn’t stopped touching me since last night, even if it’s just stroking my head.
I move my gaze to his face. His eyes are closed. He looks happy and relaxed. He’s so calm, so beautiful. And then my eyes rest on the inked Roman figures.
“Will you tell me about that tattoo on your neck?” I prompt.
Although he doesn’t open his eyes yet, I can see movement under his eyelids.
I wait patiently for whatever he’ll say.
Finally, he opens up to me. His voice is hoarse. “It’s the date of my blessing and curse at the same time. It’s my sister Aisling’s birthday.”
“I didn’t know you have a sister.”
“I do. When she was born, she changed my universe in a second, turning everything upside down. I never thought it could be like that. Now, my world has been turned upside down twice. Once when she was born, and the second time when I saw you for the first time at the senator’s brother’s house.”
Warmth spreads through me.
It’s not like me. Me, the killer. The tough woman. I’m melting at the words of some man.
Except Ryker isn’t just some man.
“I didn’t know you had a romantic streak, you know,” I joke.
With a small, lazy smile, he says, “Neither did I. A lot of things are new to me with you.”
I snuggle closer to him. “Same here. You said it was also a curse. I don’t understand that.”
Ryker is silent for a long moment. Finally, he takes a deep breath and starts to speak.
“I loved and love Aisling with all my heart, as much as a person like me is capable of loving another human being.
Her arrival in this world was like a ray of sunshine for me and my mother.
It was completely different for my father.
We never had a normal childhood, family moments, happy vacations, or holidays with the whole family.
Our home was different. My father has always been driven by a hunger for power, money, and control.
“The Pact isn’t just an organization he runs; the Pact has always been in his blood.
As long as everything went according to his plan, our home was calmer.
But if the opposite was true—no matter what—the goal must be achieved.
By any means necessary. If we didn’t want to comply willingly, he would enforce order through manipulation, force, and violence.
The house was like his private theater, and we were his puppets. ”
“Ryker—” I start, though I don’t know what to say. A lump grows in my throat; my voice catches.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I can’t bear to see it in your eyes.
Aisling changed everything. The world seemed more beautiful.
Mom was happy, and I finally had a sibling.
Father was doing his thing. I made a mistake that cost us all—the three of us—everything.
I was thirteen when Father finally put me in line, where he needed me.
I stood up once again to defend my mother, whom he’d almost killed that day.
I traded her life for mine, except I was old enough to take care of myself.
Wasn’t going to owe him anything, and he took the blows from my fist. I shouldn’t have stopped then; I should have killed him.
The next day, he took Aisling from the house and sent her abroad. ”
Frightened, I lean on his shoulder and look. Ryker’s eyes are open, but I suspect he’s somewhere else entirely. He’s there in that terrible house with a tyrant for a father.
“What did he do to her?” I ask, my voice trembling.
“Recently, I found out that he was holding her captive in Spain. Since then, Aisling’s life has been hanging over my head like a hangman’s ax.
Every time I disobey his orders, her life hangs in the balance, and on good days, he feeds me the hope of contact with Aisling as a reward for good behavior. ”
“That’s why you’re at the beck and call of the Pact,” I piece together.
“Yes. At the command of the Pact and my father.”
“Do you know what’s happening to her? Is she okay?”
“Honestly, I have no idea.” The pain in his voice is clear.
“She’s gone. Aisling escaped and disappeared.
Until yesterday, I didn’t even know what she looked like.
My father doesn’t know that I’m aware she escaped from the prison he provided for her.
Money and connections have been useless for many years, and I’ve been looking for her all over the damn world.
Only recently has something changed. Yesterday at the gala, we were arguing, so to keep me in line, he showed me a photo of her on his phone. ”
I’d caught that moment. I saw it, but I wasn’t aware of what was going on.
Ryker continues, “She’s grown into a beautiful woman. I doubted what I was seeing, because either the photo was taken before she ran away, or he got her again. I honestly have no idea. At this point, he could show me a photo downloaded from the web, and I’d probably believe it was my sister.”
I feel, hear, and see his pain. It breaks my heart.
“It’s not your fault, Ryker. You didn’t take her away from home, from her mother and brother. You tried to protect them at all costs.”
“No? Are you sure? Whose fault is it then? My actions led to this. My father found my weakness and used it against me. Aisling didn’t have a childhood because of me. He stole her from people who would have given their lives for her. I can’t even imagine what she went through.”
I adjust myself in bed, sit up, and turn toward Ryker.
His eyes are filled with haunting memories.
“You told me the exact same thing yesterday. I literally killed my mother, and you still didn’t see me as guilty.
You did nothing to make your sister suffer.
It’s your father’s fault, Ryker, not yours.
You couldn’t have known he would do something so cruel.
From what I’ve seen of you, I know you won’t give up looking for her until you find her. And your mother?”
“She’s dead. At some point, she had an affair with one of my father’s closest associates.
I can’t call him a friend because he doesn’t have any.
He was his confidant, and because of him, my mother died.
Father spared his life, but he excluded him from the Pact, from all his acquaintances, from prosperity, from everything.
However, his punishment didn’t compare to that of my mother. He shot her in front of me.”
“Holy shit,” I sigh, rubbing my face with hands. I can’t wrap my head around all this.
All the pain he went through as a child and teenager—I feel it inside me as if it were my own.
My hands shake, and I try so hard to keep my emotions in check. Although I just want to... I don’t know.
“Do you see now why it’s not safe for you to be involved with me? I get selfish around you, I can’t help it. You’ve been getting under my skin since we first met. If I were a better man, I’d stay away from you. I’m like a spreading poison…”
“That’s why you were so tense at the gala when your father approached us,” I guess. He nods.
“He can’t find out how much you mean to me. If he does eventually, he’ll want to use it against me. I won’t survive something like that a second time.”
“What are you going to do about Aisling now? Is there anything I can do to help?”
Ryker sighs, looking deep into my eyes. “I’m still looking for her. I’m also looking for my father’s weakness. To beat him at this fucked-up game, I have to play by his rules.”
“Can’t you just kill him?”
“For now, he’s the only person who can still connect me to her. If he has any idea where she is—if I kill him, I may never find her. I can’t afford to make that mistake.”
Ryker grabs my hand and pulls me toward him. I lie down beside him again and start stroking his chest.
“We’ll find her. I’ll do everything I can to help you,” I promise.
He kisses the top of my head but says nothing.
We both sink into our thoughts until he interrupts. “Promise me something, Ash. Promise me, my Little Killer, that if you ever see me turning into that kind of man...” His voice breaks, heavy with emotion. “If I turn into my father, you’ll kill me without hesitation.”
I open my mouth, not knowing what to say.
Something inside tells me, this is his greatest fear.
“What?” is all I can manage to say.
“I never want to become that kind of person. Promise me, Ash, that you’ll do it if that happens.”
His eyes are tightly closed, the muscle in his jaw twitching.
It makes me so sad to think what was done to him. No one deserves that. But it’s his genuine fear, his nightmare that haunts him in reality.
“I promise,” I lie quietly. I already know I could never do that.