14 #4
He leaned down and kissed me. When he stepped back, he took my phone from my hand.
“What are you doing?”
“Giving you homework.”
“I already have Klein.”
“This matters more.”
“That seems academically irresponsible.”
“Tell Klein I said that.”
“She would eat you alive.”
“I’d enjoy the debate.”
“You are disturbingly confident.”
Ryan opened my notes app and typed. When he handed the phone back, three Spanish lines waited on the screen.
Estoy pensando en ti.
Te extrano.
Vuelve a mí.
I read them slowly. The first felt familiar enough that I could almost piece it together.
“I know ti.”
“Good.”
“And I know te from other things.”
His eyebrow lifted. “Other things?”
“Don’t make it dirty.”
“You made it dirty in your own head.”
“I hate Spanish lessons with you.”
“No, you don’t.”
I looked at the second line. “Te extrano. I’ve heard that before.”
“Probably.”
“Are you going to translate them?”
“No.”
“Ryan.”
“That’s your assignment.”
“I can put them into a translator.”
“You can.”
“That feels like cheating.”
“Then don’t cheat.”
I studied the three lines again. “What am I supposed to do when I figure them out?”
“Send me a voice note.”
My eyes lifted. “You want to judge my pronunciation.”
“I want to hear you say them.”
Warmth spread beneath my skin. “When?”
“First one tonight.”
“That’s soon.”
“You’ve got hours.”
“What about the others?”
Ryan slid his hand behind my neck. “You’ll know when you need them.”
“That is obnoxiously vague.”
“It’s good teaching.”
“You’re not a teacher.”
“Tell that to the woman stealing my books.”
I smiled as his phone began vibrating repeatedly. Ryan pulled it out and found three missed calls from Mateo. A message appeared immediately afterward.
Mateo: BUS LEAVES IN TEN. I AM NOT LYING FOR YOUR FAIRY ASS AGAIN.
I burst out laughing while Ryan stared at the screen.
“Your teammate seems upset.”
“He’s dramatic.”
“He called you three times.”
“He likes attention.”
Another message appeared.
Mateo: DECKER, I SWEAR TO FUCK.
“Very dramatic.”
Ryan shoved the phone into his pocket. “Walk me down.”
I grabbed my purse while he slung the duffel over one shoulder and hooked the suit bag over the other. We made it downstairs to find the Frost bus idling along the curb and Mateo standing beside it with the expression of a man reconsidering every choice that had led him here.
His gaze moved from me to Ryan and then up toward the apartment building. “So that’s why.”
Ryan handed him the duffel. “Good morning to you too.”
Mateo took it. “Some of us respect departure times.”
“You’re a defenseman. Nobody expects anything from you.”
“I hope your fairy ruins your life.”
“She’s working on it.”
I laughed, and Mateo pointed at me. “You see what we deal with?”
“I’ve had a concentrated lesson.”
“Get him on the bus.”
Ryan’s hand settled against the small of my back while Mateo walked toward the luggage compartment. I looked toward the tinted windows where shapes moved behind the glass.
The team was watching.
Ryan noticed the moment I became aware of them, and his hand loosened slightly at my waist. He didn’t push me away. He gave me enough room to choose whether I wanted to stay.
Three days ago, the awareness of that audience would have crawled over my skin until I stepped back automatically.
This time, I looked at the backward cap sitting crooked on his head and reached up to straighten it.
Ryan went still beneath my hands.
“Your hat was crooked.”
“Bullshit.”
“It was.”
“The whole team is watching you touch me, mi hada.”
“I know.”
The change in his face was immediate, small enough that anyone else might have missed it and powerful enough to tear through me. I kept both hands on him.
Ryan leaned down until his forehead brushed mine. “Still no dramatic Facebook announcement?”
“Absolutely not.”
“But everybody on that bus knows you’re my girlfriend.”
I looked toward the windows and then back at him. “They’re about to.”
His smile broke across his face. “Good answer.”
I tugged the front of his Frost shirt until his mouth came closer and kissed him first.
I kissed Ryan on the sidewalk with Mateo loading his duffel, Frost players watching through the windows, and no attempt to pretend I was anything other than the woman kissing her boyfriend goodbye.
His arm tightened around me almost instantly. The kiss deepened enough to make me forget why a bus full of hockey players had ever seemed threatening.
Someone inside hit the window, and another voice yelled something I couldn’t understand.
Mateo slammed the luggage compartment. “WE HAVE JOBS.”
I laughed against Ryan’s mouth as he lifted one hand and gave the bus his middle finger without breaking the kiss.
When he finally pulled away, I was breathless.
“Wednesday,” he reminded me.
“I know.”
“You call me.”
“I will.”
“Before dinner if you need me.”
“I will.”
“And after, no matter what.”
“Yes.”
His gaze remained on mine. “What happens tonight?”
I lifted my phone. “Homework.”
“Good girl.”
Heat moved through me. “Go before Mateo physically carries you onto the bus.”
“He’d throw his back out.”
“I heard that,” Mateo called.
Ryan kissed my forehead and then my mouth again. “Use the key.”
“I will.”
“And the books?”
“Mine.”
His dimple appeared. “Learning fast.”
I smiled as he started walking backward toward the bus.
“Drive safely.”
“I’m not driving.”
“Then sit safely.”
Ryan laughed. “Call me after Klein.”
“You’re going to be traveling.”
“Charm.”
“Fine. I’ll call.”
“Good.”
He climbed onto the bus. I stayed on the sidewalk until I saw him through the tinted window, his backward cap visible behind the reflection of the morning sky.
Ryan lifted two fingers, and I lifted mine before the bus pulled away.
The ache came, but it wasn’t panic. I looked down at the key resting against my palm as my phone vibrated almost immediately.
My mother.
Wednesday waited for me. So did Klein, a paper I still had to finish, design work I had neglected, and Aura’s inevitable interrogation.
Beneath all of it lived the measuring tape hidden inside my cosmetic case and the rules about food I had created in Ryan’s kitchen while he stood only a few rooms away.
He knew I struggled with my body. He didn’t know how quickly one message from my mother could turn that struggle into numbers, restrictions, and lies. Nobody knew how much of my life could be consumed by trying to make myself smaller.
I closed my fingers around Ryan’s key and looked up at his apartment window. For the first time, him leaving didn’t mean losing access to the part of my life where I could breathe.
He had left the door open for me.
I unlocked my phone and looked again at the three lines he had given me.
Estoy pensando en ti.
Te extrano.
Vuelve a mí.
The second and third phrases pulled at something I almost remembered. Smiling to myself, I slipped his spare key onto my ring beside my own and headed toward my car with Wednesday waiting and Ryan only one call away.