26 #3
Someone stood near the stairs, her strawberry-blond hair catching beneath the dim wall sconce. My body recognized her before my mind could reject the sight. Charm held an overnight bag against her chest, and she froze the second she saw me.
Every instinct inside me slowed while every wound grew meaner.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Her fingers tightened around the bag. “I left this upstairs.”
“The girls are next door.”
“I know. They’re in the hot tub. I was going to bed and realized my toiletries and pajamas were still in here.”
“You crossed the hard limit for pajamas?”
“I asked Briggs.”
My gaze moved toward the pool table. Briggs stood with one hand resting against its edge, while Cade, Easton, and Rider remained behind him. All four of them knew exactly who stood in the hallway with me.
“She asked to get her bag,” Briggs said. “I told her it was fine if she came straight in and left while you pissed.”
I looked back at Charm. Her eyes were swollen again, and she’d changed into leggings, boots, and an oversized sweater that hung from one shoulder. The woman I’d spent years wanting stood ten feet away with everything soft and familiar still attached to her.
My body wanted her before my heart could remind it why I didn’t.
“Fine.”
Relief moved across her face. “Thank you.”
I walked past her toward the bar, and she started for the front door.
“Want a drink?”
Charm stopped. I reached for the tequila, changed my mind, and took the bottle of mezcal Rider had opened earlier. After pouring a shot, I slid it across the bar and watched her stare at the glass.
“Oops.” I glanced at the bottles lined against the wall. “No pinot noir.”
“Ryan.”
“Guess you’ll have to drink with the worm like your gutter-born ex.”
Pain moved across her face, and every one of my friends went silent.
“What were we again?” I asked. “Your ex ‘us,’ right?”
“We were more than that.”
“Were we?”
“Yes.”
I laughed and lifted my own empty glass toward her. “That’ll be news to Bliss and Aura.”
Her face lost what little color remained in it. “That’s what I thought.”
“I don’t want the shot.”
She turned toward the door, and panic tightened around my lungs. I’d wanted her gone from the moment I saw her, but watching her walk away ripped open the same wound she’d left in the parking lot.
“Wait.”
My voice cracked across the room. Charm stopped with her back to me, and every one of my friends went still.
She turned slowly.
I crossed the space between us before anyone decided whether to intervene. Charm watched me approach, breathing shallowly, her overnight bag clutched against her body like a shield. I took it from her hand and set it on the floor.
“Ryan, you’ve been drinking.”
“I know.”
“You said you didn’t want me near you.”
“I changed my mind for a second.”
Confusion flickered across her face. My hand closed around the back of her neck before I could question what I was doing. I didn’t hurt her. My fingers settled exactly where they always had, firm and possessive against the warm skin beneath her hair.
Charm’s lips parted, and I felt the shiver move through her before I lowered my face. I gave her time to pull away, but she rose toward me instead.
My mouth closed over hers.
The first contact shocked every system I’d spent the night trying to numb.
Charm tasted the same, soft and warm and familiar enough to make my chest collapse around the memory of every kiss that had come before this one.
Her free hand caught in the front of my shirt, and the moment my tongue touched hers, she welcomed me with a broken sound.
She kissed me back with her entire body, moving into mine as though nothing had happened between the last time I held her and now.
She kissed me as if the key still hung from her ring, as if she could open her mouth beneath mine and make us real in a dark hallway after spending six months denying me in daylight.
Want cut through me so violently that my hand tightened against the back of her neck.
I could take her upstairs, and she would follow me.
She’d let me strip her down in the bedroom I’d chosen for us, whisper that she loved me when no one else could hear, and give me every private piece of herself while the public ones remained safely hidden from her father.
The realization destroyed the kiss.
I pulled away the way I had at the beginning, back when Charm wanted more and I kept leaving her breathless because I refused to let either of us call it anything until she understood who the fuck she wanted.
Her eyes opened slowly, and hope filled them.
A broken laugh escaped me, vicious enough to wipe it away. I hated the sound as soon as I heard it, but I hated the hope in her eyes more. She still believed wanting me in private could repair what she’d destroyed in front of everyone.
“Want to fuck me, mamacita?” My thumb dragged once across the skin beneath her ear before I released her. “You looking for one last goodbye from the guy you were slumming it with?”
Charm stepped back. “Stop.”
I lifted both hands and gave her the space she asked for, though my fingers still burned from touching her. “We’re done here.”
Her lips were swollen from my mouth. Tears gathered in her eyes as she picked up her bag. “Why would you do that to me?”
I turned toward the bar. “You don’t know?”
“No.”
When I looked back, she stood exactly where I’d left her, one hand pressed against her mouth as though she could still feel the kiss. I let my gaze travel over her slowly, making sure she saw the coldness I needed between us even while every part of me fought to drag her back into my arms.
“So you never forget what it feels like to want something so deeply that you feel it in your bones and every breath you take, knowing it can never be yours.” My voice roughened as I forced out the truth she’d made me live with. “Es una maldición que se te mete en el alma.”
The room fell painfully quiet.
“Welcome to my entire fucking life.” I slammed down the shot I’d poured for her, and Charm’s face crumpled.
The sight cut through my anger, but taking it back would mean lying to both of us. I turned toward Briggs before the part of me that still belonged to her could win.
“Walk her back, please.”
He left the pool table immediately.
“I have the most important game of my life tomorrow,” I said, looking at the men who’d stayed when I asked everyone else to leave.
“If I do what I’m supposed to do, I could have an offer by the end of the week.
Hockey is the only future I trust right now, and I’m not letting anyone take it from me. ”
Charm caught her breath. “Ryan, I would never—”
“Nope.” Briggs stepped between us and picked up her overnight bag. “Chat time is over.”
She looked around him at me, and I kept my face empty even as everything beneath it bled.
Briggs’s voice softened without losing its authority. “That was ugly. We don’t need it getting uglier.”
He guided Charm toward the door with one hand near her back, and she didn’t fight him. Cold entered the lodge when he opened it. Charm looked over her shoulder one last time, her lips still wet from my kiss and devastation hollowing out her face.
I made myself walk upstairs before she reached the porch. The second my bedroom door shut behind me, I braced both hands against it and lowered my head.
I’d wanted her to feel what she’d done to me. Now that she did, it didn’t make me whole. It only proved I could still hurt the one person I’d once trusted with every weapon capable of destroying me.