Chapter 21 #2
“Da.” Papa’s face came into view, his dark hair thinning in front and his grey eyes beaming at me. In Russian, he said, “Good game, son, but you need to be careful about getting checked into the net.” He chuckled.
I’d hear about that for a while. “Yes, but the goal stood.” I rubbed my temple.
What was the word for queer in Russian? Hell, I didn’t know.
They could speak English well enough, but we never used it when we spoke together.
I’d just use the English word and continue in their native tongue. “I need to tell you both something.”
“Okay, we’re listening.” Mama changed the angle of the phone so they were both in view.
“I’m seeing someone. I…have a special someone.” I’d start there.
“Margot?” Mom scowled. “Tanya told me she was living with you.”
“Uh, no, and she moved out with a friend. She was only here temporarily.” Mom never liked Margot either.
With a sharp inhale, I said, “No, his name is Julian. His father owns the Coyotes. We’ve been working closely together and…
well, we’ve fallen in love.” Worrying my lower lip, I peered into the phone.
As my parents’ eyes grew wide, they glanced at each other, then Mama smirked and said, “You’re using the wrong pronouns, honey. It sounds like you’re in love with a man.”
“I’m not using the wrong pronouns, Mama. I am in love with a man. I’m in a relationship with a man.” I sucked in my breath and held it, gauging their reaction.
Papa’s brows lowered. “No, it’s not possible. You can’t be a homosexual. My son cannot be a…a—”
“Sergey, no.” Mama raised her hand in front of his face, her eyes glistening and the corners of her lips bowing down. “Alexey, are you sure? How do you know?”
With a growl, Papa disappeared, and a door slammed in the background.
Mama flinched. “Tell me this is a joke.”
As my heart wrenched, I said, “It’s no joke, Mama. Julian is a good man. He’s…he makes me happy.” Heat built behind my eyes, and my vision blurred. Don’t cry now. I had to be strong. But it was just as I expected.
“No, Lyosha, please. Not my baby. You can’t be…” Turning her head, she wiped her eye and sniffled. “How did this happen? There are all those other players on the team. Did they—”
“No, Mama.” As I blinked, a tear raced down my cheek. “No one did anything. It’s just who I am. I’ve been with men before Julian, before I played with the Coyotes.”
“But you’ve dated women. What about Margot?” A tear hovered on her lashes.
“I…yes, I’ve been with women. I’m probably bisexual.” If the thought comforted her, then so be it. She was so hurt. How could I hurt her this way? As my heart broke in two, I said, “I’m sorry, Mama. I hope you can understand.”
The camera moved off her face for a beat, the window in the front room displaying with the heavy curtains, and then her face returned, her expression flat. “I’ll pray for you, Lyosha. I’ll pray that you can defeat this.”
I wasn’t getting through. Was there anything more to say? “I’m sorry, Mama, but praying won’t stop me from loving Julian.” I swiped the wetness from my eyes.
In Russian, Papa yelled, “Tell him, Anna, tell him he’s not allowed in my house. He’s…”
“Hush, now, Sergey. Don’t say things you’ll regret.” She flashed a glare off-screen. As her gaze met mine through the miles, she said, “Give us time. I’m sorry, but right now, neither of us can understand it.” The screen went black.
“Fuck.” Throwing my phone onto the couch cushion, I covered my face with my hands as a sob threatened to break free.
My heart grew heavy, and a lump crawled up my throat.
I’d disappointed them. For the first time in my life, I’d lost my parents’ support, and I’d altered their view of me forever.
Maybe I’d made a mistake telling them? But it had to be done. I needed a fucking drink.
Hopping off the couch, I strode to my liquor cabinet along the far wall and poured vodka into a shot glass.
Funny how old habits die hard. You could take the man out of Russia, but he’d still turn to vodka when life got rough.
I tipped the shot back, letting the burn slide down my throat, numbing the pain inside me for the moment.
I poured another and drank it down. Two should suffice. I needed to call Tanya before Mama got to her.
After returning to the sofa, I plucked my phone from the cushion and dialed my sister. It rang once.
“Anno, Lyosha. Mama is calling me too. What happened? Did you tell them?”
“I did. Where are you?” She might have been at home when I called, but obviously, she’d been out.
I should have texted her, but I hadn’t thought it through this morning. I’d only wanted to talk to my parents before I lost my nerve. I sank into the end of the couch.
“I’m out with friends. What happened? Tell me.”
“It was…terrible.” My chest pinched and a fresh round of tears filled my eyes. With my voice cracking, I said, “They won’t accept me. Mama is upset and Papa is angry.”
“I’m so sorry, Lyosha. You don’t deserve this.
You know that, right? They’re just old-fashioned.
” She sighed. “I’ll speak with them when I get home.
I’ll tell them about PFLAG and see if they’ll go.
I’ve looked up some chapters here and one is close by.
If they meet other Russians there, then maybe… ”
“Okay, keep me updated.” The tightness in my chest relaxed. She’d make them understand. Papa always listened to her. Even if they never accepted me, if they understood and didn’t view me as some devil needing prayer, it would suffice.
“Hey, I know how upset you must be. But the worst is behind you, okay?” She released a rough exhale. “Now explain why you did this today?”
“Today?” Oh, hell, I hadn’t told her about Margot, and Julian’s father confronting us in the hotel room, or me being traded. With a sigh, I said, “Yesterday was a shit show.” I spent the next five minutes updating her and then let her go to deal with the fallout from my confession.
Once my call with Tanya ended, my phone buzzed in my hand with a call from Craig. How much more could I take today? I jabbed the green button, starting the call. “Hey, Craig.”
“Alex, I’ve spoken with the Coyotes GM and I have news.”
“Okay, lay it on me.” I ground my molars. Judging by the tone of his voice, it wasn’t good news.
“The Flyers will take you. With the season just starting, most teams have met their salary caps, but we worked a deal.”
“The Flyers…you mean Philadelphia? I’d move to the East Coast?” No, no, no, no…This was terrible. It was too far away. Heaving a deep breath, I jumped from the couch and paced to my patio doors while staring at nothing.
“Uh, yeah, those Flyers. As opposed to, I don’t know, the team in Philly?” Craig chuckled.
“Not funny, Craig.” When could I see Julian? We’d be in different cities most of the time and a five-hour flight away from our home bases. I swallowed hard. “I can’t take this trade.”
“Now, wait a minute. The Coyotes will fund half your salary for the rest of your contract to make this work. I’m sorry, Alex, but there’s nothing else. Not now and not at your level.”