CHAPTER TWENTY
Noah
Once home from Nashville after the away game, the team had the day off, so there was no practice today and no game tonight. He’d get in a workout later, but for now he had some time and was at Slap Shot to go over reports he’d set aside.
It was early and they hadn’t opened yet, so Noah sat at the bar with Jared. Jared had flown in from Las Vegas on some business, and had dropped by to visit and see how Slap Shot was doing.
“Your numbers are looking great,” Jared said, after perusing the reports. “Especially for a first month.”
Noah’s phone buzzed. It was a message from Jordan, which brought a smile to his face. He’d texted her a few times this morning, but this was the first time she’d replied. He opened the message, but it was short and to the point.
Yep. Later.
Noah frowned. The weird vibe that he thought he’d imagined started again. Jordan didn’t seem to be as eager to see him. And that idea caused a twinge in his heart.
Beside him, Jared peeked over at the text and grimaced.
“What?” Noah accused, annoyed at Jared’s expression. He put his phone down.
“Look Noah,” Jared started. “I get that you’re the enjoy-all-that-life-has-to-offer kind of guy. You always have been. But this is a really bad idea.” His friend shook his head. “I thought you were smarter than this.”
He knew exactly what his friend was referring to, and he was already annoyed at the conversation. He had assumed Jared would be in favor of Jordan. What he hadn’t seen coming was Jared’s Debbie-Downer attitude.
“I’m not doing anything wrong. We’re not serious. And yes, she knows my history. But she wants to be with me anyway.”
“Not serious? That’s why you got all bent about the guy you saw her with at the grand opening.”
He let out a heavy sigh. He knew he shouldn’t have told Jared everything about the reporter. This was no one’s business but his and Jordan’s.
“That’s the problem, Noah. What happens when it’s all over? What happens if things go badly?”
“Jared, you built your business with your girlfriend, so why are you so down on me and Jordan?”
“You mean Holly? The girl who broke my heart and took half of the business with her? Do you remember the fight I had on my hands and eventually had to rebrand? I had to create a new following. She came this close to destroying everything I had worked so hard for. And she just walked away,” Jared recounted. Clearly, the wound was still fresh with this one.
“Jordan doesn’t own half of my business,” Noah said. Obviously that was a bad example. He knew what Jared was getting at, but his concern was unfounded. “It’s just casual. As in, she agrees that we don’t get involved. We’re just having fun.”
Jared shook his head. “No. I see what you’re doing. You’re falling for that girl. That is dangerous territory as the employer. Jordan is perfect for Slap Shot. Her ideas have paid off two-fold. Your fame and her brains are what got you here.” He waved the papers at Noah. “Do you want to risk all that? If things between you go bad and she leaves, then what?”
The idea of Jordan leaving struck an icicle into his heart, but he wasn’t going to let Jared know that. He shrugged. “I guess if she leaves, I’ll just have to find someone to replace her.”
“Fine. But what happens if you two stay casual, and she finds the one?”
Noah already didn’t like where this statement was going. It was bad enough that the guys had put that idea into his head. He’d thought about it more than he should’ve, and it gave him a sour taste in his mouth.
“She gets serious with this guy, gets engaged, married, maybe has babies. Then what? Do you keep her on as general manager and watch her live her happy life every day? Could you stay friends and move on?”
Noah didn’t know what he would do if that happened. He liked her, he really liked her, and he already knew that it would drive him crazy if he had to watch her move on with another guy. He’d never felt so strongly about a woman before, and he wasn’t sure how to do any of this.
“Or when she gets tired of your not committing and leaves?”
“Enough. I get your point. I’m not doing this right now.” He finished signing off on the reports.
“Just think about what I said,” Jared replied.
“I appreciate your concern.” Noah grabbed his gym bag. “I have a workout scheduled, but I’ll catch up with you again before you fly out.”
He stormed out of the restaurant and headed down to the players gym in the arena, stewing about Jared’s comments the whole time. The guys had pretty much convinced him that he was getting in deep. And getting in deep wasn’t part of the arrangement. Maybe Jared was right. All kinds of things could go wrong. Keeping it casual was the only thing he knew—and the only way to protect both his heart and Jordan’s.
He and Jordan were both adults, and Jordan knew the deal. She’d agreed to keep it casual. It was just a little fun. So, after they reviewed the rules, they could continue as before, but with some changes.
He started mentally listing all the tweaks. No sleeping over. He would miss the snuggling, but it was important to have boundaries. Secondly, no intruding on each other’s lives outside of Slap Shot and the bedroom. Maybe he could add a secrecy clause, so that he would never see or even know if she dated anyone else. What else? Oh right. Definitely no PDA at Slap Shot or anywhere else. Because that could be misinterpreted.
But even after a grueling hour workout, his irritation hadn’t faded. He wasn’t so sure he liked his tweaks to their agreement.
“Hey there, Rodgers.” Sam paused and stared at him. “Bad day? Please don’t tell me you’re having issues with Jordan. How’s it going with keeping it casual?”
Sam used air quotes for the word casual, which irritated Noah. He grunted as he dropped the weights back in place. His muscles burned and sweat dripped from his brow. He shot a warning stare at his friend.
Sam shook his head. “You need to be careful. That’s one slippery slope. Sleeping with your employee. That’s never a good idea.”
What was it with people on his case about Jordan today? Immediately, he was on the defensive.
“Harrison and Talia have The Sin Bin together.”
“True. He owns it with his wife. Wife is the operative word, my friend. Not employee. Not booty call. They’re partners in life as well as in business.”
He grabbed his water bottle and took a swig. “Why does everyone keep warning me? We’re just having fun. No strings, no expectations.”
“And how does Jordan feel about that?”
Tired of the lectures, he angrily got to his feet. “She’s happy with the arrangement.”
“Are you sure about that? What if she becomes unhappy with it? If shit goes bad, you’re either out your go-to woman or you could end up with a toxic workplace. And what about Jordan? Do you even care what happens to her career if she feels forced to leave? It’s a dangerous game you’re playing.”
When put like that, Noah agreed it sounded like trouble. Unfortunately, Jared and Sam had made some good points. If things went bad, he’d not only lost Jordan, but also his general manager. And even worse, if Jordan left, her career could take a step backwards. General manager jobs at successful restaurants didn’t grow on trees, after all. He cared about that more than he would admit.
This thing with Jordan had started out just fun, but he had kept running back to her more and more, and no one else. He hadn’t been able to stop himself for wanting to be with her. That was unusual for him.
“I hear you, Sam, but I’m done talking about this.” Noah put in his earbuds and went back to his workout.
But his friend’s words stuck in his head. Was being with Jordan worth losing her friendship? She was good for the bar, and he really liked having her around. It seemed like no matter what he chose, he’d lose.
“Jordan, can I see you in the office please?” He couldn’t help but run his eyes over her as she walked by, her high heels clicking on the floor.
“Something wrong?” she asked coolly, her face impassive.
He was getting that weird vibe again and it pinched at his heart. It felt as though he was losing her already, and he hadn’t even said his piece. This was exactly why he’d wanted things to stay casual. He had no interest in watching her leave him. No heartbreak for him, oh no.
“Let’s sit,” he said, and he watched her as she smoothed her skirt before taking a seat behind the desk. So cute and sexy.
He sat in the chair opposite. Taking a deep breath, he knew here was no way to say what was on his mind other than to blurt it out.
“I’ve been thinking about us, this.” He pointed between himself and her. “I know we had an agreement about how we would conduct ourselves, but I realize that even keeping things casual, stuff could get messy with us running Slap Shot together.” He hated the idea of not being with her, but this had to be done, for her sake as much as his.
“Meaning what, exactly?”
“I think we should cool off a bit. Take a step back and see where we are.”
Even as he said the words, he felt a pain in his heart. Being around her without being with her was the last thing he wanted to do. But not being with her at all was unfathomable. There was just something about her. He wanted her in his life.
Her mouth opened in surprise. “Where is this coming from?”
He sighed. “I’ve had several folks warn me about the possible problems.”
“And you hadn’t thought of these possible problems already?”
He shrugged. In reality, he had. In the beginning, he’d very briefly considered that there could be some fallout if he started this casual thing with Jordan. But he’d pushed any concerns far out of his mind, because he’d selfishly wanted her.
“Let me get this straight. Folks, and by folks, you mean friends, like maybe Jared or whoever, think us hooking up is bad for business?” The snark in her voice was unmistakable.
“It doesn’t matter who said it. We work well together as friends and coworkers, Jordan. I just don’t want the sex to interfere with that.” He hated every word that came out of his mouth.
She tilted her head and stared at him. She had that all-business thing going on again. “So the whole casual thing is off. No more sex. Correct?”
His heart fell. It sounded so final to his ears. “I was thinking we could still do that now and then. But we’d need better rules.”
“Are you serious?” she blurted out.
He shrugged. “Why not? We’re having fun and we’re friends. Everybody has rules about their conduct. Rules just keep us from going outside the lines.”
“What rules, exactly?”
Under the weight of her stare, he felt the sweat drip down his back. “Well, like no sleeping over.”
“Oh, right,” she smiled, rocking back in her chair. “Because that would be too intimate. Anything else?”
“No PDA outside of the bedroom.”
“Of course,” she nodded emphatically. “Because PDA gives the wrong impression.”
He didn’t know why, but her being so agreeable gave him the uneasy feeling that he was walking into a trap.
“Go on,” she said, a little too sweetly. “What else?”
He couldn’t meet her eyes. “We don’t do anything together outside Slap Shot or the bedroom. So… no dinners together, or dates.”
“So, in other words, you and I would just be each other’s booty call.” She took a deep breath. He still wasn’t sure if she was about to explode or agree. “Anything else?”
He cleared his throat. “I, um… think that’s about it. So, what do you think?”
“You mean I actually get to have a say in this?”
He frowned. Had he not just asked what she thought? “Of course. So, do you have any thoughts?”
“Oh boy, do I have thoughts,” she said. She stood, and stepped around the desk. “Funny thing, I was planning to talk to you today and end things. I’m over the casual. I can’t do it. Not even with all your rules.” She gave a forced-looking smile. “Especially not with the rules.”
“Wait, what?” He was confused at her confession. And she was breaking up with him?
“I hadn’t planned on starting a proper relationship before now, because I’ve always been so focused on work. I was never the kind of girl who was okay with casual. But since I haven’t had a relationship for so long, I thought I could give it a try. And so I tried it. But I didn’t like it.”
“You didn’t like it?” he repeated. “What didn’t you like about it?” Please don’t say the sex, he thought, then mentally kicked himself.
“I realized that I want a partner in life. I’d like to have someone who would always be there. I want a label. I want all the strings. Eventually, a husband, kids, the house, the dog.” She smiled sadly, and his heart cracked. “We enjoyed being together and working together, we’ve become friends, and I thought we cared about each other. So it seemed like the logical next step would be to have a proper relationship. But you’ve laid out your feelings very well. Apparently, I was wrong. We’re in totally different places.”
He grimaced. “Say we decided to have that kind of relationship. What happens to the business when things between us go bad?”
She laughed without humor. “You’re using the word ‘when’ as though it’s a given that we wouldn’t work out. Either you don’t have faith that something with me could be good, or you think you’ll want out. That tells me everything I need to know. The casual thing is over. We are over.” She walked to the door and opened it.
“Look, Jordan, I do care about you. If you don’t like my suggestion…” He didn’t even know what to say. His thoughts were tumbling around in his brain like lottery balls, and he didn’t understand the wrenching feeling in his chest. Maybe it was how everyone felt when they were dumped, but it wasn’t a feeling he’d ever experienced. All he knew was that he didn’t want to lose her. “I still want to be friends. Can’t we just see how that goes for a while?”
“If we aren’t a couple, then I’m good with friends only.” She spun on her heel and walked away.
Noah watched her leave, feeling as though his heart had sunk into his stomach and lay there in broken little pieces. Maybe he should run after her. But how would that help matters? Nothing had changed.
He was well aware that she wasn’t issuing him a challenge. She’d drawn a line in the sand, and that was that. But what his heart heard was that she didn’t believe he could commit to her, so they were defaulting to friends.
Of course he wanted more than to be friends with her. And he wanted it with only her.
He just had no idea how to get there.
He dropped his head into his hands. Why had he even got out of bed this morning? Everything he’d touched today had turned sour. He just hoped he hadn’t ruined things between them for good.
The afternoon silence in the office was deafening. Jordan’s words kept replaying in his mind. His phone buzzed in his pocket and echoed through the room. Hoping it might be Jordan, he answered eagerly.
“Noah,” his older sister, Tracey, spoke. “There’s been an accident. It’s Dad.”
Panic ran through him at her words. “Tracey? What happened? How bad? Is he okay?”
“I don’t know.” She sobbed on the other end of the phone. “They had to cut him out of the car. He’s been rushed to the hospital. It sounds bad, Noah. Mom, Lexi, and I are on our way there now. You need to come home.”
What happened after that was a blur. The next few hours he acted as if in auto-mode, not remembering anything until he was on a plane home to Canada.