Chapter 13
Lily
When Jade got that call to say that her mum was back in the hospital, all the chaotic thoughts I associate with losing someone ran rampant through my head.
Jade’s mum is like a second mum to me, it’s like she has always been there, and the possibility of losing her hit me square in the chest. It took everything in me to hold myself together while I was consoling Hunter once Jade left, but now he’s gone to hopefully fix his mistake and support Jade, I’m left with the noise in my head that I struggle to quieten at times like this.
My vision blurs as I return to the ballroom.
I know there’s music playing and people are laughing and dancing, having a wonderful evening, but I can’t hear any of it.
All I can hear is the sound of my heart beating.
I rub at my chest to try and stop the ache, but my breaths are coming quick and fast, making the room spin.
Shit, not now.
I need to get out of here, get some fresh air.
Focusing on the open doors toward the back of the ballroom, I move toward them, concentrating on every step. Finally, reaching them, I stumble through, grasping the back of a metal garden chair.
Breath in for five.
I repeat in my head. The tactic I’ve come to rely on to help me when the pressure in my chest becomes too much.
Out for five.
I continue the exercise a few more times, my eyes closed the whole time. Hearing the rapid beats of my heart thumping in my ears, I control each breath I take. Forcing myself to stay present and grounded.
In for five.
Out for five.
Eventually, the pounding slows, and the sharp bite of pain from the metal digging into my palms reminds me that I am here. Blinking a few times, I regain my focus, cursing myself for doing this now.
The strings of the violins filter through my haze, and I release my death grip on the chair. The colors of the ballgowns floating around the dancefloor I can see through the large windows have me sucking in a steadying breath.
I can’t be here now.
Edging back towards the open door, I straighten my shoulders and scan the ballroom for Beck. He’s propping up the bar, and I walk over to him with a confidence I don’t feel but need to portray. “I’m leaving. I can't be here right now.”
Bringing me into a hug, he kisses the top of my head. “I’ll wait with you until your cab arrives.” He understands my need to escape, and I internally thank him for not asking questions.
“Thanks, Becky Boy.” We walk through the ballroom, but my eyes land on Marcus's. A strange sense of calm washes over me, and the pressure eases in my chest, causing me to give him a small smile, but the look he gives me is dark and full of lust, making my legs buckle.
“You good?” Beck questions as he stops me from stumbling. Jesus, why does he affect me so much?
“Sorry, guess I’ve drunk more than I thought.”
He guides me to a bench outside the front of the hotel as we wait for a cab. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? You know Olivia will be okay, right?” A slight wobble in his voice has me gripping his hand. He loves her just as much as we do, and I think he feels more than he lets on.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I reassure him just as Marcus exits the hotel and strides over to us. My body heats with the intense expression on his gloriously handsome face. “I’ll wait with Chambers, Beck. I’m leaving anyway. I’ve had enough.” His sexy, deep voice has the hairs on my forearms rising.
Beck turns to me, and I nod. “You message me when you get home. I’m not coming back. I'm heading out with the boys after this. Trixie is with Ezra and Jade…” He trails off as he says her name.
“I know.” I squeeze his thigh affectionately. “I’ve been on my own in the apartment before. I’m a big girl.” I nudge him, trying to make light of this situation.
Kissing my temple, he stands. “I love you.”
“You too, Becky Boy.”
“This woman means the world to me. You make sure she gets in that cab safely.” He points at Diaz before extending his hand.
“Of course.” He shakes Beck's hand, and then Beck’s gone, and I’m left with Diaz. We sit in silence for a while before I can’t take it anymore.
“Look,” I say just as he says, “I’m…” We both laugh.
“You go first,” I suggest.
“What I was going to say is,” he leans his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? Why are you sorry?” I frown.
Turning, he takes my hand in his, and the heat of his palms against mine does nothing to dampen the heat burning inside me. “I’m sorry, because I’ve probably been a bit of a dick tonight.”
“Diaz, you’re a dick to me all the time.” I laugh, and it feels so good after the tidal wave of emotions my body has been through over the past half an hour.
“True. But you love it.” He bumps his shoulder with mine and leans in, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“I think you love it when I bite back,” I whisper. My body has been an inferno all evening whenever his eyes were on me, and when his hand was on my back, I felt his touch through my whole body. And right now, I need to feel his lips on mine.
“Cab for Chambers?”
Give me strength!
“That’s me.” My eyes bore into Marcus’s before I reluctantly stand, straightening my dress.
Fuck it.
“You coming, Diaz?” I smile over my shoulder at him.
The look of shock quickly morphs to desire as he jumps up from the bench.
Am I crazy for doing this? Probably. But right now I couldn’t give two shits.
I want him, he wants me. The need to escape from my own head is overpowering any common sense right now.
“Now’s your opportunity to disappoint me, Diaz. ”
“Trust me.” His breath tickles my neck as he opens the car door for me. “You’ll not be disappointed.”
“Promises, promises.” I grin up at him before getting into the cab, gathering my dress just as he closes the door, and rounds the car.
Sliding in beside me, he takes my hand in his, kissing my knuckles. Feeling that slight kiss between my thighs, I squeeze them together. Fuck, if that gentle kiss on my knuckles made my body react like that, how will it react when he kisses other places? My mind races with anticipation.
“Where are we heading, Miss Chambers?” The driver's voice interrupts my thoughts, but before I can tell him my address, Diaz gives him his.
“I don’t want any distractions.” He brushes his thumb across my knuckles, smiling across at me.
“My housemates are out.”
“I have no housemates.” His eyes blaze with heat. “And a hot tub.”
“Perfect.”