Chapter 41
Marcus
Lily is a little quiet as we walk through the vineyard to the harbor, and it’s unnerving.
I was expecting her to mention the pure beauty of the vineyard, but she’s silent.
She’s always talking, always has something to say, and right now, I’m leading all the conversations, and she’s just giving me one-word answers.
What did Mama say to her?
“And this is where the locals come to do a human sacrifice every year.” I point to a random spot.
“That’s nice.”
Yeah, she isn’t listening to me at all.
I place the picnic basket down and grab her shoulders, halting her steps and spinning her to face me. “You think it’s nice that the locals do a human sacrifice here every year?” I raise an eyebrow.
“What? No, that's barbaric.” She looks horrified.
“Do you really think that actually happens?”
“I hope not.”
“Of course it doesn’t. I was just trying to see if you were listening.”
“Sorry.” She looks to the ground, and I hook my finger under her chin to bring her face back to mine.
“Don’t be sorry, just tell me what’s wrong?”
“It’s just something your mum told me,” she says quietly.
I knew it.
“What did she say?” I sigh.
“That I’m the first woman you’ve brought to meet her.”
“That’s true.”
“But why? We aren’t even together. And I’ve been saying I hate you all this time?” She frowns.
Cupping the nape of her neck, I lean in closer. “You going to tell me why that is yet?”
“Since we’re telling all our secrets lately, I suppose I should.” She releases a deep breath. “Did you know we were injured at the same time?”
“Yes, my injury was the day after yours.” Her eyes widen, I’m guessing she wasn’t expecting me to know that.
“Well, we were also in the same hospital.”
“No, we weren't. I would have remembered.” I frown, trying to think back.
“You wouldn’t. You’ve openly said you weren’t in a good headspace at the time and, trust me, you didn’t know.” She escapes my hold and crosses her arms over her chest.
“But you knew?”
“Oh yes, I knew.” She shakes her head. “They held off my treatment because of you.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Yep. They were all set for my operation the day they brought you in, but it got pushed back, meaning my recovery was slower, resulting in me having to retire.”
“I don’t get it. Why did they push your operation back for me?” My voice rises as I try to dig up those memories. But I pushed them so far down, never wanting to bring them back to the surface.
“You really can’t remember much, can you?
” She chuckles without a hint of humor. “You shouted and demanded that you be pushed to the top of the list. And why? Because, and I quote, ‘I’m Marcus fucking Diaz and the women's footballer who’s waiting for her operation, her life won’t change like mine will if she can’t play again.
So, you’ll push me to the top of the list and get me back out on that field. ’ And they did.”
Joder.
It all makes perfect sense now why she’s hated me for so long.
Why just being near me made her angry. And God, I’ve been a cocky asshole.
I am not misogynistic. But hearing her repeat those cruel, heartless words that I spat, my stomach twists.
Even if I can’t remember saying them, they are clearly imprinted on Lily’s brain.
Shame washes over me as I look down at her, a heaviness settling in my chest at the internal pain I’ve caused her when I know just how hard she’s been trying to keep herself afloat.
“And you heard?” I wince.
“Every fucking word. I heard it on loop every day after. ‘My life won’t change if I can’t play again.
’ But boy did it.” She paces as she rubs at her temples.
“It wasn’t just the fact that I could no longer play professionally because the risk of injury was so high, even though I was healed, my leg wouldn’t hold up to the physical strain of constant training and gameplay.
I was so depressed, Beck and the girls had to forge an intervention.
It was not my brightest hour. All the time, I was thinking I survived all of that shit as a kid, only to have everything I'd worked for taken away. And once again, I’d failed Nelly.
” Her voice breaks as she says Nelly’s name; my chest aching at her turmoil.
The chaos I created. “And then I saw your stupid face at the studio, and you had already been given a top job. Once again, because I’m a woman in a man’s field, I was pushed back.
And I had to watch you act like nothing had changed for you.
In fact, you’d come out on top, and I was still trying to claw something back. ”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Lily.” Reaching out, I pull her into my chest. Regret and guilt ripple through me at the physical and mental pain I put her through with my harsh, idiotic words. “I have no excuse for how I acted that day. Except I wasn’t in my right mind.”
“I know that now.” She looks up at me, not an ounce of anger in her mesmerizing green eyes.
“You’ve shown me what you’re really like, and no matter how hard I’ve tried to hate you, I can’t.
And this thing between us.” She lets out a stuttering breath.
“The longer we spend together, the less casual it feels. Lines are starting to blur, and I don’t know which way to turn. ”
Cupping her cheek, I smile down at her, bringing our foreheads together. “This has never been casual for me, Petardo. I’ve always wanted more.”
“But you said you wanted casual?”
“Because that was all you were offering. And I'll accept whatever you offer me.”
“And if I don’t want more?”
Pulling back an inch, so our eyes lock, I reply. “Then I’ll respect your wishes, but just know it would break me to see you with someone else,” I admit. “I’m not sure what happened or when, but you’re all I want. All I need.”
“But I hate you,” she mumbles, but there is no conviction in her words.
“I know.” I smile, running my hands down her arms, eventually interlinking our fingers.
“And you still want me?”
“I’ll always want you.” I kiss her softly, and she falls into the kiss, allowing me to control her mouth with mine. Nothing about this kiss is hurried, but it feels pivotal.
“I’m ready to see the best view in Spain,” she purrs against my lips.
I’m already fucking looking at it.
I never let go of Lily, the whole walk through the vineyard.
She has come back to me after our talk, and I need to make things up to her.
I have no idea how I’m going to do that, but now I know everything I can piece together something.
Find a way of showing her that I’m not that guy; it was a momentary slip in my character.
“I really do think England has a chance to beat Spain this time. I mean, Harris is on fire this tournament. That goal against Italy was insane.” She’s talking about England’s chances against Spain in the final, and I love to hear her talk so passionately.
“Yeah, my boy is on top of his game.”
“Do you miss playing with him?” she questions.
“Every single day. I’ve learned to deal with the fact that this is my path and that’s his, but we had something pretty special.”
“You definitely did. I can’t even deny it,” she replies.
“Can you please insult me? This weird thing, where you compliment me, is unsettling.”
“I’d love to, but I actually think I like you feeling a little off balance.”
“Pure evil.”
She giggles, but it’s cut short when we exit the vineyard, stepping onto the harbor.
She turns to me in absolute awe and untangles herself from my grasp, walking toward the small yacht Mama and Paulo have moored.
The backdrop is stunning this afternoon.
There isn’t a cloud in the sky, which is such an intense blue it morphs into the sea.
The sun bounces off the almost still water, making it look like it’s sparkling.
“Marcus, this… I have no words. This is beautiful.”
“Yeah, it is.” But I’m not really taking in the scene.
I’ve seen it a thousand times. Lily’s curly hair that she hasn’t tamed today whips around her face in the light afternoon breeze with the sun beaming down on her unique strands, making it look like it’s glowing.
Her freckles have become more prominent, thanks to the time we have spent in the sun today, and her perfectly plump pink lips turn into a lazy, carefree smile as she lifts her sunglasses, closing her eyes to bask in the afternoon sun.
She’s breathtaking.
I’ll have this image of Lily imprinted in my mind forever. “Come on.” Taking her hand in mine, she opens her eyes and the look of pure contentment on her face makes my heart squeeze. I gently pull her toward the yacht. “Let's see it from the ocean.”
I head to the controls and place the picnic basket down underneath. Lily sits behind me. “I’ll take us out and then drop the anchor just a few miles off the coast. In a cove just to the right. You don’t get seasick, do you?”
“Honestly, I’ve never been on a boat, so this could be interesting.”
“Brilliant.” I shake my head and chuckle. “Always keeping me on my toes.”
“I aim to please.” She places her sunglasses back on her nose and spreads herself out on the bench behind, looking like she belongs.
I start the engine before unwrapping the mooring rope to release the yacht from the deck.
Coming up behind Lily, I cup her throat and lightly squeeze, tilting her head until she’s looking straight up at me.
I drop a long, passionate kiss to her plump lips.
Her chest is heaving when I pull away, trailing my hand down her to rest on her breastbone, feeling the erratic beats of her heart. “Hold tight, Petardo.”
I don’t try to hide what she does to me as I position myself in front of the controls and move us out of the harbor.
“That was hotter than it should have been,” she says breathlessly behind me.
“If you’re hot, take off your dress.” Focusing on the sea, I guide us out of the harbor and start to pick up speed.
“Too late.”
Next to me, the yellow material of her dress lands. “Joder.” Groaning, I speed up the boat, wanting to get to my destination as quickly as I can.
“You’re right, this is the best view in all of Spain. But it could be improved.” Her hands come around my waist as she plays with the hem of my t-shirt, sliding her warm hands underneath the fabric, causing me to hiss when she brushes my nipples. “Take it off, Diaz.”
“I’m a little busy.” I continue to focus on the spot in front of me. I know if I turn around now, I’ll stop right here, and this isn’t where I want to do this.
“You’re no fun.” The tips of her fingers slip beneath the hem of my shorts, her breath tickles my neck as she nips the skin, but then she’s gone.
The whole time, I feel the heat of her eyes on me as I drive the boat. My desire increases with every sigh or soft moan she makes. Especially as she’s practically naked behind me.
It’s only five minutes that I have to endure the torture, and five minutes I manage to keep my eyes forward and focused on where I need to get to.
This woman was sent to torture me in every way possible.
The sun beams down, and the sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks are like a balm to my soul as I slow the boat, entering the cove.
It’s a secluded paradise.
I angle the boat, before dropping the anchor, so we are facing the great expanse of the open sea. There is nothing for miles out in front, just the sea and the sky.
And a vision of utter perfection, as I finally allow myself to take in Lily.
And fuck me. Her hair is flowing down her slender back.
She has a simple, deep red one-piece on, dipping low in the front, hugging her every curve, but cuts high up her thighs, making her legs look impossibly long.
Her feet are bare on the deck with her dainty toes painted a deep red to match her swimsuit.
“Joder, Petardo. You look…” I can’t finish my sentence as my words get clogged in my throat. I take her in my arms and kiss her, getting lost in her.
She smiles against my lips. “That good, really?”
“Better than good. If I knew you were wearing this all day, I would have taken you out on this boat sooner.” Gliding my hands over her delicious curves, I allow the tips of my fingers to slip under the fabric of her swimsuit at her hips.
She gasps, the movement pushing her chest up, making her hardened nipples brush against my chest.
“You still seem to be wearing too many clothes, Diaz.” Her voice is sultry as she plays with the hem of my shirt. “You know I can’t hear you properly when you’re clothed.”
Chuckling as I pull my shirt over my head, my shorts quickly follow, leaving me in my black swim shorts. I’m less than graceful which makes her giggle at my enthusiasm.
“That’s better.” She runs her hands over my exposed chest, placing a kiss to my right pec.
Hooking my finger under her chin, I whisper against plump lips. “I packed champagne.”
“Fancy.”
“Come on.” Guiding her to the front of the boat, I help her onto the flat surface where she lies back on her elbows, fucking tempting me. I drag my hands down my face, groaning. “You’re really testing my control today.”
“Good, I like it when you snap.”
This fucking woman