Chapter 60
sixty
Two months later
“Kate, hurry up. The show is about to start,” Chelsi shouts, her legs tucked underneath her on our couch.
She’s ultra comfortable, in a pair of sweats, her hair in a bun, and her eyes glued to the awards show on TV.
She lives for the glitz and glamour of the red carpet, listening to winners’ speeches, and watching the carefully choreographed musical numbers.
Meanwhile, I’m forcing myself to be in the room, because she’s my best friend, when I’d rather be anywhere else.
“I’ll be in there in a minute,” I call out, taking my time cleaning up from dinner and pouring myself another glass of wine. I’m not in the mood to sit through three hours of musicians patting themselves on the back.
“You’re missing it,” she remarks, a dark, mellow blast of country music comes from the TV, followed by the croon of a familiar raspy voice.
“It’s fine. Don’t need to see it,” I retort, wiping down the counter a second time. Prepared to do it a third or fourth time to avoid watching this drivel.
“Kate…you need to get in here. I’m serious,” she says, alarmed. I roll my eyes and take a swig of my wine. Chelsi’s known to have a flair for the dramatic, so I can only imagine what type of fashion emergency she’s insisting I see. “Holy shit, Kate. Hurry up!”
My eyes go wide as soon as I see my face on the TV. I try to comprehend what I’m seeing on screen. The combination of the sound and images makes my heart race and my breathing erratic. It doesn’t make sense.
When the next image appears, my hand flies to my mouth, and the wine glass falls to the floor and shatters. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest.
Time slows.
My eyes fix on the screen.
On the words coming out of his mouth.
The pictures behind him.
The ones of my eyes.
My smile.
Our fingers intertwined.
The song he’s playing on national TV.
The one that sounds like it’s about us.
I collapse onto the floor as soon as he finishes, while the cameras pan to the host. I’m sitting back on my bent legs, trying to process everything. Attempting to understand what it means. Not noticing that Chelsi’s in front of my face, waving her arms to get my attention.
“Kate,” she says softly, gently putting her hand on my arm. “Can you tell me why Chase Elliott looks a lot like Jake? Why those pictures look like you? Why the song sounds like it’s about you?”
“I—” I mutter, unable to form a complete sentence. The air in the room suddenly feels thin, making me gasp in a way I don’t usually do unless I’m running. My mouth hangs open. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Trying to center myself.
Chelsi slowly rubs my arms, attempting to calm me down. “Take a deep breath. Let’s take this one step at a time. Can we do that?”
I nod.
“Why does Chase Elliott look like Jake?” Her eyes gaze into mine.
Although she knows the answer, she’s going to make me say it.
Admit to keeping this from her and ignoring the multiple times she mentioned how familiar he looked when we were dating.
I never intended to mislead her. Very few people know his real name.
It’s a well-kept secret in our hometown; everyone has kept his identity quiet for years at his request.
“Because…they’re the same person,” I say, exhaling deeply. “It’s Jake’s stage name. He’s used it for fifteen years. Ever since he got to Nashville.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she questions, her eyes filled with hurt and confusion.
“I don’t know…” I whisper, my voice trembling. “He’s always kept his private life separate. I’ve never thought of him as Chase. He’s always been Jake to me.”
“Okay,” she replies calmly, giving me a small smile like she might understand why I didn’t tell her. “That song is about you…isn’t it?”
I nod. Tears stream down my face as my chest tightens from the surge of emotions. This has come out of nowhere. I haven’t talked to him in months, and now this.
“It sounded like a love letter. Do you realize that?”
“Yes,” I whisper, replaying the lyrics and pictures in my head. He wrote me a love song. He wrote us a love song. After all this time…
My heart skips a beat, and I inhale sharply. I close my eyes as my mind runs through a million scenarios. Processing what this could mean. Why would he do something like this without telling me?
My hand flies to my mouth as I gasp. I blocked him months ago, and Chelsi did the same. This might have been his only option. His last-ditch effort before he moves on.
“What are you going to do about it?” Chelsi stares at me, waiting for me to make a decision about my future. She’s been with me every step of the way over the past four months as I’ve worked to improve myself. Process my trauma. Learn to love myself. Put myself first. Heal from how things ended.
“I still love him,” I murmur.
“I know. You never stopped. And he seems pretty in love with you, considering he wrote a song and played it on TV in front of millions,” she quips.
My cheeks grow warm, thinking about the declaration he made in front of so many people. The truth he’s saying out loud, hoping I’ll hear. A grin starts to spread across my face, and a small giggle escapes from my mouth.
“I’ve got to go,” I blurt out, jumping up from the floor and reaching for my phone.
There are countless messages from Dylan, Hannah, Brandon, and Shawn, asking what’s going on.
I ignore their messages and unblock Jake’s number.
It won’t let me see any previous message he has sent, but at least I won’t miss any potential new ones.
I walk quickly into my bedroom, grab a suitcase, and throw clothes inside it. It’s too late to get a flight to Nashville, leaving the seven-hour drive as my only option to get to him as soon as possible.
I need to show up for him.
Make my own declaration.
“Tell me how I can help,” Chelsi asks. I send her to pack my toiletries while I finish with my clothes. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone or what I’ll do about work this week, but I don’t care. I’ll figure that out later.
It’s time for me to jump.
Embrace the unknown.
Find out if Jake is the one who almost got away.