Chapter 26
Despite everything, Nikki remembered our four-month anniversary and even made sure to keep that night blocked off on her calendar.
After texting back and forth, we settled on a restaurant called The Violet Parlor.
It’s relatively fancy but not completely unaffordable.
Days before the date, Nikki insisted she’d be paying, and I was extremely grateful.
She also made sure to tell me I’d have to find another way to repay her when we returned to her apartment after dinner.
Luckily, I was already alone in my bedroom when I received that text.
We both agree to dress up a little, with the understanding that my wardrobe is pretty limited.
Even so, I manage to piece together an outfit that makes me feel handsome—a pair of gray slacks, a black button-down, and a deep plum blazer with a matching necktie.
I still have a decent pair of black Oxfords, too, which really completes the look.
When I arrive at her apartment, I’m blown away by her appearance: a skin-tight, knee-length, lacey black dress with a deep-V neckline and bright red ankle-strap heels.
Her voluminous black hair bounces in perfect curls, and her dark makeup is absolutely stunning.
We hungrily stare at each other for several tense seconds, and it’s a testament to our self-control that we aren’t late for our reservation.
Nikki volunteers to drive us to the restaurant, and I’m happy to let her. She holds my hand the whole ride, rubbing small circles on my thumb. It’s the most romantic she’s ever been, and I’m almost afraid it’s going too well.
After placing our orders at the restaurant, we continue chatting about everything going on in Nikki’s life, which is fine with me because I don’t really have much going on.
In the middle of a work story, Nikki stops mid-sentence and furrows her brow. “Wait. Am I tripping, or is that nostril piercing new?”
I grin. “Oh, yeah, it’s new.”
“When did you get that done?”
“About a week and a half ago, I think? It was a Saturday, and you were working. But I was feeling spontaneous for a change. Do you like it?”
Nikki’s brows stay knitted across her forehead. “Yeah, it’s cute… But man, I would have loved to go with you for emotional support. Did you go all by yourself?”
I go to run my fingers through my hair, then remember I put product in it. “No, Oliver tagged along. He got his ears pierced, too.”
Nikki’s expression immediately sours. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
Panic rises in my chest. “Why would I be—”
She sighs loudly. “Jude, I thought we talked about how I don’t trust him and don’t like how much time he spends with you when I’m not around. Can you at least try to respect that?”
I shake my head. “Babe, we did talk about it. I thought you said you trusted me.”
Nikki’s jaw flexes. “How would you feel if I started hanging out with some random girl whenever you’re not around? Would you not be at least a little concerned?”
“Not if she was your friend!” I exclaim. “Because I trust that even if this girl has a thing for you, you don’t have a thing for her because you’re with me.”
“So, you do think Oliver has a thing for you,” she interjects, crossing her arms over her chest.
“No!” I shout before remembering we’re in public. A few patrons at nearby tables give us curious looks, so I rein myself in. “No, I don’t,” I say more quietly. “I’m just saying that even if he did, it wouldn’t matter because we’re supposed to trust each other.”
Nikki glares at the bread basket in front of us. “You’re making it very difficult to do that.”
“To trust me?” I ask.
Her gaze bounces across the table. “Yeah.”
“But, I don’t understand,” I press. “Am I not allowed to have guy friends because you don’t trust men?”
“You’re not supposed to want guy friends because they suck,” she mutters.
“Well, Oliver doesn’t suck,” I snap. “Neither does Max. Or Theo, or Vimlesh. It’s not fair for you to expect me to hate all men just because you do.”
“This is who I am, Jude. If you can’t accept that, then maybe—” she halts, squeezing her eyes shut.
Before she can finish, our server returns with our entrees. I do my best to keep a neutral expression, but tears are already pricking the backs of my eyes, and a lump is forming in my throat.
“Let’s talk about this later,” Nikki says after the server walks away. “There’s no reason we shouldn’t enjoy our meals.”
I stare at my pan-seared scallops and risotto, my appetite completely decimated. Are we breaking up? Does Nikki honestly expect me to eat if we’re breaking up? My stomach growls loudly in protest.
“Hey,” Nikki whispers.
Reluctantly, I spare a glance up at her.
“I’m sorry. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Her foot brushes against my pant leg under the table. “I really, really like you, Jude. I’m willing to fight to keep you. So let’s eat some amazing food, talk this through at my place, and then… you know.”
I take a breath, in and out. I don’t have the same confidence as she does about how the night will go, but I should at least try not to waste such a nice dinner. “Okay,” I reply.
Nikki smiles and picks up her fork. “Okay. Let’s eat.”
An hour later, back at Nikki’s apartment, I’m a bundle of nerves. My scallops were delicious, but I can’t stop worrying they might make a comeback if we start fighting again. At the same time, I know we can’t leave things as they were before dinner arrived.
The only question now is who will break the ice.
“Hey, do you want some wine?” Nikki asks from the kitchen. “I’ve got some Riesling that one of my friends bought for me. It’s a lot sweeter than I usually like, but it’s not bad.”
“No thanks,” I mutter, awkwardly wringing my hands alone on the couch. If I have wine, I’m almost positive I’ll throw up.
When Nikki joins me on the couch with her wineglass, she sighs. “So, I guess we should finish our conversation from before.”
I nod.
“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to have guy friends,” Nikki says, slowly and carefully. “It’s just certain guys that give me the ick.”
“I’m not going to stop being Oliver’s friend,” I say flatly.
Nikki hums, then takes a sip of her wine. “And that’s non-negotiable?”
I scoff, frustration rising again. “Yes.”
“And there’s no way we can find a compromise?”
“Nikki, what—”
“I don’t like him, Jude. I’m not saying you have to choose between us, but it’s going to be uncomfortable for all three of us whenever we’re in the same room.”
I toss my head back against the couch. “You still haven’t even given him a chance! The one time you spent with him, you were cold and rude.”
“Well, he didn’t do anything to impress me, either!” Nikki counters. “All he did was find any excuse to flirt with you or touch you.”
I angrily shake my head. “You really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, but I really do.”
“You don’t understand.”
“What is it that I don’t understand?”
Fuck it. “He’s ace!”
Nikki stills. “He’s what?”
“Asexual,” I say, throwing my hands up. “He went to an EQA meet with Max and Theo and talked to some other ace people and felt seen in a way he hadn’t before.”
Nikki’s expression morphs several different times, going back and forth between amusement and disdain. “Oh, babe–”
“So that’s why I’m telling you that he’s not a—”
“Oh, Jude, you don’t seriously believe him, do you?”
My body stiffens. “What?”
“He’s lying to you. That’s just a ruse to get closer to you. Isn’t it obvious?”
“Nikki, you’re way out of line.”
She lets out a dry laugh. “Oh, my god, he’s such a piece of—oh my god, that’s actually genius! Nice guys are evolving, and it’s working.”
I shoot to my feet and glare down at her. “What the actual fuck? I shouldn’t have even told you that—he told me in confidence—but I felt there was no other way for you—”
“Oh, he told you in confidence?” Nikki also bolts up, setting her wineglass on the coffee table with a loud thunk.
“Let me guess: he hasn’t told anyone yet, not even his closest friends?
Not even his two other queer roommates, who would absolutely accept and support him, no questions asked?
No, he only came out to you because he needs you to know you can trust him and let your guard down around him.
” Her eyes bore into mine. “Did I get it right?”
Tears sting behind my eyes, and all I want is to leave. Or make her leave. Or just disappear—anything but this. But once again, I’m frozen in place, completely at a loss for words.
“He’s manipulating you, Jude,” Nikki continues when I don’t argue.
“He’s feeding you a carefully crafted lie to get closer to you, and it’s working.
You guys already hang out and text all the time, and now all he has to do is wait until I’m out of the picture.
Then he’ll swoop in with a ‘whoops, I guess I wasn’t ace after all because I’ve fallen in love with you’ line, and it’ll fucking work because–”
“I’m leaving.”
Nikki gawks at me. I’m just as surprised by the words as they leave my lips, but now that they’ve been spoken, I can’t take them back.
“Fine,” Nikki snaps. “Go ahead. There’s the door.”
It takes a moment for my legs to cooperate, but I snatch up my blazer and head for the door.
“Give me a call when he confesses his love to you,” Nikki calls after me. “I’ll try not to say ‘I told you so’.”
I let the heavy door slam behind me as I speed-walk to my car. With tears already spilling over, I wait until I’m safe in the driver’s seat before I start sobbing.
Friday, October 24, 2025
Nikki
hey, can we please talk?
you’re not answering your phone
I was a real bitch last night and I want to apologize
Jude?
please baby I’m really sorry and I want to see you
I can’t come in unless you let me
Jude, please
I spent all last night and this morning locked away in my bedroom, wallowing in my own misery.
My phone has been buzzing with texts and calls all morning, but I’ve ignored them.
I was supposed to spend the night with Nikki, so I’m not even sure if Celeste knew I was here at all.
But it doesn’t matter now, because I know she’s at a meeting with The Eidola Eye today.
On some level, I know I’m not supposed to isolate myself after a breakup. I should talk to Celeste, Max, or Oliver. Seek comfort. Let someone else in. But shutting everyone out is what I do. It’s what I’ve always done.
It’s not until Celeste calls my cell multiple times that I finally answer. “Hello?”
“Jude, are you in your room?”
I hesitate, but I figure there’s no point in lying. “Yeah.”
“Nikki is outside the west entrance waiting for you to let her in. Sounds like y’all might have had a little fight last night?”
A little fight? Is that what Nikki told her? “Yeah.”
“Jude, what’s going on?”
I groan and bury my face into my pillow. I don’t want to do this right now.
There’s a pause. “Should I tell Nikki to get lost?”
I consider it, and I almost say yes until I remember that the Halloween party is tomorrow. Fuck, I don’t want to be miserable at the party, and Oliver would freak out if I didn’t show up. Maybe I should try to hear Nikki out.
“You still there?”
“I’m here. I’ll let Nikki in.”
“Are you sure?” Celeste asks warily. “I could tell her to come back later.”
“No, it’s okay. Thank you.”
“Sure…do you want me to stay out of the way, or would you rather me be there with you?”
I shrug, then remember that she can’t see me. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m on my way up.”
We hang up, and I text Nikki to ask the visitor desk to page me again. Once they do, I accept the page, and I assume Nikki is heading up the stairs, so I toss on my compression top, wrap myself in my housecoat, and wait on the couch.
Celeste arrives first, giving me a once-over. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”
I shrug. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”
“Were you here last night?”
Reluctantly, I nod.
“Why didn’t you tell me? You know you don’t have to go through that kind of shit alone.”
Once again, I shrug. “I don’t know, Celeste. That’s just kind of what I do.”
There’s an urgent rapping on the door, and Celeste gives me a final look. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”
I shake my head this time. “She said she wants to apologize. I want to hear her out.”
I start to get up, but Celeste gestures for me to sit back down so she can answer the door herself. “Nikki.”
“Celeste.”
Leaning back on the couch, I keep my eyes closed until I feel the cushion beside me sink with Nikki’s weight. “Hey, Jude.”
“Hi.”
Celeste’s bedroom door shuts, and Nikki takes a deep breath. “Listen, babe, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I guess–I guess my insecurity and distrust of men took over. Can you forgive me?”
I open my eyes to look at her. Unlike me, Nikki still looks completely put together. Her hair and makeup are flawless, and she’s in her usual business attire. I don’t know what I expected—I guess I thought our fight might have disrupted her sleep or routine the way it did mine. Apparently not.
Nikki takes both of my hands in hers. “Please, Jude?”
I take a moment to really look at her. She’s so phenomenal—her looks, her ambition, her intelligence, her confidence. Everything about her is perfect. It’s unbelievable that she cares about me at all. It would be even more insane for me to let someone like her get away.
How could I not forgive her?
“I forgive you,” I whisper. “And I’m sorry for leaving. I just…I was so upset, I couldn’t—”
“Of course, baby, of course,” Nikki interrupts, pulling me into her arms. “You had every right to be upset. I was being crazy. I’m so sorry.”
I melt into her arms, allowing her to hold me. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
Our sweet embrace leads to chaste kissing, which grows in urgency, building until our bodies are suddenly horizontal on the couch, limbs entangled, breaths heavy, hands greedily roaming beneath layers of clothing, desperately seeking a different kind of relief—
“Eww, God, Jude, not on our fucking couch!” Celeste shouts.
“Sorry,” I mutter breathlessly.
“Bedroom?” Nikki gasps.
I nod, lost in heady desire. Nikki pulls herself off me, and the two of us eagerly make our way to my bedroom, shutting the door behind us.