Chapter 12 #2
He felt like a shit for agreeing to be paid to have sex with her, especially when he would gladly have done it for free.
It wasn’t as if the arrangement didn’t suit him.
It would be nice to enjoy regular sex without the hassle of her getting clingy or trying to make him into her idea of the perfect boyfriend.
But he could see there was no way she would have accepted a freebie.
It would be worse, he reasoned, if she’d blown wads of cash for an hour or two with an escort.
It showed how desperate she was that she had even considered it.
He didn’t like to think of her throwing herself on the mercy of some rent boy.
Claire was a decent person. She deserved better.
At least he could console himself with the thought that he was saving her a lot of money, and probably a world of trauma, by agreeing to her arrangement.
He would look after her properly and make sure she got value for her money.
When he had changed the bedding and plumped the pillows as much as they would plump – there wasn’t a lot of life left in them – he switched off the ceiling light, turned on the bedside lamp and stood back to survey his handiwork. It still didn’t look cosy, but it was a bit of an improvement.
Then he showered, scrubbing his hands and arms to remove all traces of paint, and changed into clean clothes. He stuffed some condoms into the drawer of the nightstand and opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. Then he closed the windows, cranked up the heating and waited for her to arrive.
Claire turned up almost on the dot of seven. As he had expected, she appeared nervous. ‘So, boning for beginners,’ he said, smiling and rubbing his hands together as he let her in. ‘Ready to begin?’
‘Um… yeah.’ She bit her lip. Maybe that hadn’t been quite the way to put her at ease, he thought.
‘Sorry. Have a seat.’ He motioned to the sofa, hoping she would sit on the cushion that still had some padding left. ‘Would you like a glass of wine?’
‘Yes, please.’ She sat on the wrong side, almost sinking through to the floor. She tried to extricate herself surreptitiously, coming to perch on the edge.
‘Why don’t you sit on that side?’ he said, pointing. ‘It’s more comfortable.’
She scooched over and he handed her a drink, sitting beside her.
‘Cheers!’ He clinked his glass against hers. ‘Here’s to sex education!’
‘Cheers,’ she mumbled, then took a huge slug of wine.
Infuriatingly, Luca’s neighbours chose that moment to start a domestic.
There was a lot of shouting and screaming, followed by several loud thumps, and the sound of something heavy hitting the wall.
‘Sorry,’ he said, rolling his eyes and getting up.
He went over to the iPod dock and switched it on, turning the volume up loud.
Adele’s voice filled the room. He had cued it up earlier, guessing Claire would be the sort of girl who liked Adele.
Most girls he knew did. Noticing that her glass was already half empty, he picked up the bottle of wine and topped it up.
‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’ she asked, as he sat back down beside her.
‘No, definitely not. I don’t want you drunk at all. In fact, I think you should slow down,’ he said, nodding towards her glass, which she was raising reflexively to her lips. ‘I just want you to relax.’
She lowered her glass without taking a sip. ‘Sorry. I’m a bit nervous.’
‘I know. But don’t be.’ He reached out and ran one finger down her bare arm. ‘There’s nothing to be nervous about. We’ll take it slow. And, remember, you’re calling all the shots here. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.’
‘I know. It’s just— it’s a bit weird, you know, doing it in cold blood like this. I mean, you didn’t have to do this, with the wine and everything. I’m a sure thing, you know?’ She laughed shakily.
‘So you thought we’d just go straight to the bedroom and get down to it?’
She shrugged. ‘I guess. I don’t know. I mean, it’s not as if I’ve ever done anything like this before.’
‘Well, I thought we should talk a bit first – about what we’re doing here. For example, I don’t know how much experience you’ve had. If any,’ he added, shooting her a wary look.
‘You mean… sex?’
‘Yes. When you say you’ve never done anything like this before… you have had sex before? You’re not a virgin?’
‘No.’
‘Good.’ Luca was relieved that this wasn’t going to be her first time.
‘I’ve had sex before, but I wasn’t sure—’ She broke off, blushing. ‘I wasn’t sure what was going on.’
Luca chuckled. ‘You weren’t sure what was going on?’
‘Oh, shut up!’ she huffed. ‘This is hard enough without you laughing at me.’
‘Sorry. So you know how it all works?’
‘Yes, but I just…’ She was struggling to explain. Eventually she let out a heavy sigh and said, ‘I just didn’t get it.’
‘You didn’t get what all the fuss was about?’ He nodded understandingly.
‘No, that’s not what I mean – or not just that. I mean, no, it didn’t rock my world or anything. But also I didn’t understand what was going on. I didn’t know if I was doing it right, and I couldn’t tell if it was going well or not. I mean, he was there, whacking away—’
‘Whacking away?’ He laughed. He couldn’t help it.
‘Yes, whacking away. And he just kept on and on for absolutely ages, and I didn’t know what he was waiting for, you know?’
Luca struggled to keep a straight face. ‘Well, he was probably waiting for you.’
‘Yeah, but that’s what I didn’t know. I didn’t know if he was waiting for me to… you know…’
‘Come.’
‘Yes. I mean, maybe he thought if he kept at it long enough, I’d have an orgasm. But I was just getting bored.’
‘God, I’m almost starting to feel sorry for this guy,’ Luca said.
Claire sighed. ‘I kind of felt sorry for him myself.’
‘I said almost,’ he said sternly, frowning at her. ‘He should have taken care of you.’
‘Well, anyway, I thought if he was just holding out for my sake, maybe I should fake something. But I wasn’t sure how to go about it.’
‘No,’ Luca said firmly. ‘You should never fake it. Jesus, if he thought what he was doing was getting you off, he’d just keep doing the same thing every time and it’d never get any better.’
‘Well, I just wanted it to end. But I didn’t know how to… bring it to a conclusion.’
‘You could have told him to stop.’ Luca frowned.
‘It would have seemed rude to do that. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It’s not like he was forcing me or anything. I was into it – at the start. I wanted it to happen. I just thought it would be… better. More fun, you know?’
‘This was your first time?’
‘Yes.’ She nodded.
‘Well, it’s usually not great the first time.’
‘But it was the same every time. Not that I’ve had sex very often.’
‘How often?’
‘Um… three times,’ she said, looking away.
‘Three times? You’re twenty-eight and you’ve only had sex three times?’
‘Well, three and a half, really.’
‘Three and a half?’ Luca chuckled. ‘We’ll come back to that later. But you say you didn’t know how to fake an orgasm?’
‘Not really. Obviously I’ve seen it in movies, but it always seems a bit over the top – like that scene in When Harry Met Sally where she keeps shouting, “Yes,” and banging the table. I’d have felt really stupid doing that. I’m not much of an actress.’
‘You probably weren’t on a table anyway.’
‘No.’ To his relief Claire laughed.
‘So does that mean you’ve never had an orgasm?’ Luca asked.
‘Yes. No. I mean, yes, I have, but—’
‘You’re not sure?’
‘No, I definitely have, but not—’ She stopped, going bright red. ‘I’ve never had one when, um… when there was someone else in the room,’ she mumbled.
‘Oh,’ he said, a wide grin breaking across his face. ‘Well, we can definitely work with that. I don’t suppose you’d…’
‘What?’
‘Let me watch.’
‘You mean…?’ Her eyes widened in shock.
‘Mm, that’s what I thought,’ he said, with a gentle smile.
‘It’s okay,’ he said, putting his hands on her shoulders and easing them down from around her ears.
‘I figured you’d be too shy for that at this stage.
We can work up to it.’ As he spoke he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, his fingers trailing down her throat to the neck of her shirt.
‘I’d love to watch you get yourself off,’ he said, smiling at the blush that crept up her neck into her face.
He popped open the top button of her shirt, never taking his eyes from hers, and she held his gaze as he opened the next two buttons, his hand splaying out across her clavicle, stroking across the top of her chest. Her breathing became deep and ragged.
‘You’re so gorgeous,’ he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. He kissed her mouth, her ears, her neck, while his hand stroked down her side, brushing against the side of her breast and down her leg.
‘You don’t have to say stuff like that to me,’ she said gruffly. ‘Like I said, I’m a sure thing.’
‘But it’s true.’ He smiled at her, before kissing her again on the mouth, parting her lips with his tongue. Claire clung to him, and he felt her finally relax, her body loosening as she started to kiss him back.
‘Will we move to the bedroom?’ he asked, when eventually he pulled back.
Claire nodded mutely.
He took her hand and led her in, then turned on the little bedside lamp. He drew the curtains, then turned to face Claire. ‘Sorry it’s not more…’ He trailed off, shrugging apologetically.
‘It’s fine.’ Claire gulped, her eyes huge as she looked at the bed.
‘Is it warm enough?’ Luca asked. He had had the heater on most of the day – he’d decided it was an allowable expense when he was being paid so much.
‘Yes, it’s fine. Well, I suppose I should…’ She kicked off her shoes, and began undoing her shirt briskly, as if she was getting changed for swimming.
‘Stop,’ Luca said, crossing the room and stilling her hand. ‘Let me do that.’
He bent his head, slowly undoing the rest of the buttons.