Chapter 29 #2
Sweet. Claire felt a little knocked off balance by that.
She wasn’t sure it was a good thing that he found her ‘sweet’.
He’d said it before, and it sounded like a compliment, but she couldn’t help feeling patronised.
Besides, she wasn’t sure ‘sweet’ was really his thing.
It wasn’t a word anyone would ever associate with Sophie, for instance, and although they weren’t together any more, he obviously still liked her a lot.
He might not realise it, but he lit up like a struck match whenever she was around.
She seemed like a take-no-prisoners kind of girl, and Claire got the impression men found her challenging and exciting in equal measures.
She was ballsy, blunt and upfront about what she wanted, and she was more like NiceGirl than Claire would ever be.
Mark had told Claire the first time they’d met that she was very different from what he’d expected.
Maybe he’d thought she’d be more like Sophie.
‘You’re very quiet,’ Mark broke into her thoughts. ‘You okay?’
‘Yes, fine. I’m just tired.’
He went into the airport with her and waited while she checked in, then walked with her to the security area and gave her a lingering goodbye kiss.
‘Thanks again,’ Claire said. ‘I had a lovely time.’
‘I’ll call you from New York. And I’ll get over to Dublin as soon as I can after I get back.’
‘That’d be great. Well, I’d better go.’ She gave him another quick kiss before turning to go through security.
In the cab from the airport she rang Luca. She was anxious to speak to him. He’d said they’d still be friends, but she was worried they’d drift apart now they were no longer sleeping together, and she wanted to make sure that didn’t happen.
‘Hey, sweetheart.’ She was instantly reassured by the warmth in his voice. He was her friend, she thought, and that wasn’t going to change.
‘Can I come round tomorrow night after work?’ she asked. ‘If you’re not busy, that is.’
‘Yeah, of course. How was your weekend?’
‘Great. It was really nice. But I’ll tell you about it when I see you.’
‘Okay.’
‘I’m in a taxi, and I’m almost home, so I’d better go. But I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘Can’t wait.’
The following evening Luca felt unaccountably nervous as he waited for Claire to arrive. He was looking forward to seeing her, yet there was a strange feeling of dread in his gut at the same time. What was that about?
Still, when he opened the door and found her standing on the step, laden with carrier bags as usual, those other feelings melted away and he was just happy to see her.
‘Claire!’ He pulled her into a hug, then ushered her in. ‘You look great!’
He took some of her bags from her as they headed for the stairs. ‘You’ll have to stop doing this,’ he said, nodding to the bags.
‘It’s nothing much,’ she said gruffly.
In the flat, she dumped a couple of the bags by the sofa, then went to the kitchen to help Luca unpack the rest.
‘Mm, airport goodies,’ he said, as he unloaded smoked salmon, Toblerone, red wine and champagne. ‘Are we having a celebration?’
‘Well, I thought we could have a sort of graduation ceremony,’ Claire said, taking out the champagne. ‘I bought this on the way over, so it’s already cold.’
‘Great.’ Luca got glasses out of the cupboard, and Claire opened the champagne with a loud pop. She poured slowly, giving the bubbles time to subside.
‘Cheers!’ Luca clinked his glass against hers. Then they went into the living room and sat on the sofa.
‘These are for you,’ she said, picking up the bags beside her and passing them to him. ‘Sorry they’re not wrapped.’
‘What’s all this?’ He took them from her.
‘It’s just a present, for being such a good teacher.’
‘Claire, you shouldn’t be spending your money on me.’
‘It’s not much.’
He pulled two T-shirts from the first bag, unfolding them and holding them up.
‘These are great – I love them.’ The other bag had a large shoebox containing a pair of heavy boots.
He smiled, brought back to the night he had met Claire.
They were similar to the ones he had been wearing then, except these were in one piece. It was such a thoughtful present.
‘Not very exciting, I’m afraid.’
‘They’re brilliant. Thank you.’
‘I hope I got the size right,’ she said.
He turned them over. ‘Yep, perfect. You shouldn’t have, but thank you.’ He leant over and gave her a quick kiss. Her lips were cool and tasted of champagne.
‘You look tired,’ she said.
‘Yeah, I am.’ He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.
‘Not getting much sleep by the look of things.’
‘No, I’ve been working a lot.’
‘Is that all?’ Was it his imagination or did she seem cheered by this?
‘Yeah, that’s pretty much all I’ve been doing lately. The painting’s been going really well. I’m working on stuff for my show.’
‘That’s good. I heard you went to Mum’s card game on Friday.’
‘Yeah. I cleaned up – did she tell you? Came away with sixty cents.’
‘Whoa! If you keep that up, you’ll be able to give up painting and become a professional gambler.’
‘I’m planning to build up to a whole euro next time.’
‘Did you do anything else at the weekend?’
‘Just went out for dinner with Ali yesterday. Otherwise I’ve been living like a hermit.’ He took a gulp of champagne. ‘So, tell me all about your weekend,’ he said. He knew he had to ask, but he felt as if the words were being dragged from him.
‘It was good. We spent a lot of time with Mark’s friends, and they were all really nice. And he said maybe we could go to New York together some time.’
‘And did your lessons come in handy?’ Fuck! Why the hell had he asked that? Now she’d tell him, and he really didn’t want to know. Please don’t go into details. The idea of hearing about what she and Mark had got up to made him feel sick.
‘Yes, they were very useful. I was a credit to my teacher. You’d have been so proud of me.’
‘Great.’
‘One lesson in particular,’ she continued.
‘Well – glad I could be of help.’ He drained his glass. ‘Top-up?’ he asked, reaching for hers.
‘No, thanks.’ Her glass was still half full. Luca poured himself some more. ‘I mean, before I’d probably just have gone along with having sex because I’d have been too embarrassed to say I didn’t want it—’
Luca froze. ‘Wait. You didn’t have sex with him?’
‘No.’
‘You mean… on the first night?’
‘All weekend. And it wasn’t because I was scared or didn’t think I could give him a killer blowjob. I just didn’t feel right about it so…’
The relief hit him like a cartoon wrecking ball, ludicrous and shocking, and he almost laughed out loud with the surprise of it, coupled with the sudden, alarming recognition – so that’s how I feel. Ali was right.
‘That’s brilliant!’ He grinned. She frowned at him. ‘I mean it’s great that you spoke up for yourself and took control,’ he amended hastily.
‘Yeah, it felt good. And it’s all thanks to you.
’ She leant over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, but as she made to pull away, he put a hand on the side of her face and kissed her properly.
It felt so good to be kissing her again.
To think he’d almost lost her because he’d been too stupid to recognise his own feelings.
He reached to pull her closer, but Claire was pushing him away.
‘I can’t,’ she said shakily.
‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ he asked, smoothing a lock of hair behind her ear.
‘I can’t… do this. I can’t be like this with you any more.’
Luca frowned, trying to digest this. ‘Oh.’
‘I thought we’d… I mean, I’m with Mark now. It would be cheating.’
‘Right.’ He sat up and edged away from her a little. ‘But you said you didn’t sleep with him.’
‘No, I didn’t – because I wasn’t ready. I would have been doing it to please him, or because I felt too awkward turning him down. But I will, when the time is right – on my terms, like you taught me.’
‘Oh, right. Sorry, I thought…’ He shook his head. Shit! He’d finally woken up and realised how he felt about her, and it was too late. He wanted to howl at the unfairness of it.
‘No, I’m sorry. I should have been clearer…’
‘No harm done,’ he said briskly. ‘Probably just as well anyway.’ He poured the last of the champagne into both their glasses. ‘I really should get back to work.’
‘Oh. I thought maybe we could have something to eat…’
She looked so disappointed, he felt like a shit, but he just wanted to get her out as quickly as possible and be on his own to try to absorb what had just happened.
His head was reeling and he needed to be alone.
Besides, he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t burst into tears any second now. ‘Sorry. Some other time, yeah?’
‘Um… yeah, sure.’ She gave him a smile and drained her glass. ‘Well, I suppose I should go, then.’ She stood.
‘Thanks again for the presents,’ Luca said, as he saw her to the door.
‘It’s nothing. Well, bye.’ She was about to go, when she turned back in the doorway. ‘Luca, we’re still friends, right?’ she asked, grabbing his hand.
‘Yeah, of course!’ He looked down at her hand in his, his thumb stroking over her fingers. ‘I just – I don’t know how good I’m going to be at this friends thing, okay?’
‘But you’ll try? I really don’t want to lose you.’
He sighed heavily. ‘Yeah, sure. I’ll try.’