Chapter Seventeen
Carter
Holding Billie while we sat in front of the fire last night was like a dream come true. Ever since the moment we went out on a hike a few weeks back, I have literally had dreams about taking her camping, and showing her one of my favorite things to do while also providing her with an opportunity to clear her head a bit was just as amazing as I knew it would be. After she confessed her fear that she might disappoint me, there was no way I was going to let that fly. Telling her how wonderful she is and how she deserves the world felt as natural as holding her in my arms did, and I was very close to confessing just how much I care for her. But it wasn’t the right time. After having lost my parents, I know that there is never really a wrong time to tell someone just how much you care about them, but somehow telling Billie that I’m falling in love with her while she was experiencing a moment of existential crisis didn’t feel right. It felt selfish, and I can hold myself back if it means doing what’s best for her.
Instead of confessing my feelings, I continued to keep her close, fed her a nice dinner of campfire steak and potatoes, and tucked us both in for sleep. Sharing a tent with Billie and not turning it into more was difficult, but she seemed legitimately tired and after a more subdued kiss goodnight, she fell asleep surprisingly fast. For as much as she complained about not having her eye mask, silk pillowcase, and everything else she needs to get her eight hours, she seemed to drift off peacefully enough. It took me much longer, and no matter how hard I tried to clear my mind and concentrate on nothing but her even breathing, all I could think about was how I wanted to wrap my arms around her and keep them there all night long. Eventually, I fell into a decent sleep, stirring only occasionally at the intermittent hooting of an owl and other nocturnal animal noises.
The sounds of the night forest have been replaced by louder ones from the early morning outdoors, and a jaw cracking yawn escapes me as my consciousness starts to come back online. As I stir, I feel a warm, heavy presence on top of me. Smiling, I gaze down at Billie who must have rolled half over me in the middle of the night. I’m certainly not complaining though as she shifts in her sleep and her body rubs up against mine, I can’t help but react the way I always do when she’s near. Despite being on top of my thickening cock, the woman sleeping next to me still slumbers peacefully. We lay like that for a while, me gritting my teeth with every shift of her body and every breathy moan as to not wake her with sounds of my own, but as the sun rises higher over the horizon and continues to light up the tent, she slowly blinks her eyes open.
“Good morning,” she smiles. Her voice is raspy with sleep, her hair is matted in different directions, and she has a large crease on her cheek from where it lay against part of the blanket, but she’s never looked more beautiful.
Returning her smile, I brush some hair out of her eyes with one hand while rubbing her back with another. “Good morning.”
Her body shifts slightly and I stifle another groan as I get even harder. From the widening of her eyes and the fire I see igniting within them, Billie knows exactly which part of me is pushing against her thigh. A knowing smile spreads across her face as she peers down at me. “A very good morning, indeed,” she says. Moving her hand so that it’s running up and down the side of my torso, a sly smile plays on her face.
The tent and blankets I brought were warm enough for me to sleep just in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, but even then the top was a little much and I ditched it halfway through the night. Feeling her warm hand smooth up and down my bare skin has me shivering and my internal body temperature ratcheting up with each pass. “Billie.” Instead of her name coming out as a censure like I meant it to, my voice sounds low and feathery, like I’m two seconds away from begging her to keep going. When it comes to her, I wouldn’t put it past me to do just that.
Billie moves again, flinging the blanket off the two of us and sliding her body away from mine just enough to be able to snake her hand lower and dip her fingers just inside the waistband of my sweats. “You want me to keep going?” She looks down at the tent in my sweats that grows higher by the second. “Because it sure looks like it.”
All my blood is rushing south, and while I would like to stop her, tell her how I feel and that I want this to mean more than practice to her too, I can’t really think of anything other than how good things feel between us. Being with her means something to me, and maybe that’s enough for now. Her fingers swirl a little lower, and I can no longer think, only feel. “Please,” I whisper.
Billie smirks, but there’s a lot more than the usual sass in her eyes. There’s affection too, and even though she might not be as far along with her feelings as I am, I’m confident that she’ll get there eventually. “So polite,” she remarks, her hand moving south and gripping me firmly. As her hand twists and tugs, working me into an even greater frenzy, a loud moan escapes my mouth and I pray that no hikers come by anytime soon. “Love to hear you moan, Viking.” She leans down and takes my mouth in a punishing kiss. “Do you think I can make you scream? I’m very tempted to try.”
Billie trails kisses down my chest, flicking her tongue over my nipple before continuing her journey south. She tugs my sweats lower, pulling my dick out from its cotton prison. Looking up at me for a moment, she winks before wrapping her hand around the base and licking a stripe up the underside of my cock. My head drops back against the hard ground, but I don’t notice the thudding sound it makes. I’m too caught up in the flurry of sensations pulsing through my body. “God, that feels amazing.”
My hand reaches down to cradle her head as she continues to work me with her tongue, slipping it through the slit at the top while she pumps me with her hand. My only experience with blowjobs is the one my ex from years ago attempted, abandoning it after a couple of licks and declaring that they “weren’t for her.” Billie is obviously not in the same camp because she seems to be enjoying it as much as I am. She hums contentedly as she nuzzles my hip and inhales the smell of me. Then she leans up and sucks on the tip before finally engulfing as much of me as she can into her warm mouth. As I slide inside and over her tongue, I can feel the base of my spine starting to tingle and rub her cheek to get her attention.
“Not gonna last much longer.” She doesn’t move off me and instead doubles down on her efforts, causing me to spill into her mouth as my vision whites out and I come with a shout. As I come back down from what has to be the best orgasm of my life, my eyes finally blink open to see Billie wiping the corner of her mouth with her finger before licking it clean. Damn, that’s hot.
When she smirks, I realize I said that out loud, but I’m too blissed out to care. “Glad you approve” She smirks as she tucks my slightly softened cock back into my pants. Glancing up at her, I take in the flush of her skin and the heat in her gaze.
After a long inhale to catch my breath, I roll us so that her body is pinned under mine. “I more than approve.” Pressing my lips to hers, I push my thigh between her legs and press down, swallowing her whimpers as I continue to work my mouth over hers. “In fact, I want to return the favor.”
Billie raises her hips up to my leg, seeking her own pleasure. “It won’t take much,” she breathes out. “Having you in my mouth got me pretty close.” Smiling, I shift my leg higher, earning a moan from Billie. Hearing her has me rock hard again already, and I rearrange myself so that it’s my cock pressing into her center instead of my thigh. “Oh, yes, please.”
Billie reaches down and whips the flimsy tank top she was wearing over her head and tosses it to the side. With so much beautiful olive skin on display, it’s hard to know where to look first, but of course my eyes fall to her perfect breasts, saliva pooling at the thought of getting them into my mouth. Not wanting to deny myself or her any longer, I lean down and do just that. As I continue to lavish attention on one and then the other, teasing each dark red peak of her nipples with my tongue, my thrusts increase in speed and pressure. After another minute of performing that act, Billie tenses underneath me before shattering, crying my name out in a way that will be permanently seared into my brain. Nothing looks or sounds as beautiful as she does when she has an orgasm, and I can’t wait to see the same expression and hear the same sounds over and over again as soon as possible.
Smiling down at her as she comes back to herself, I kiss her gently before rolling to the side and gathering her in my arms. When she’s finally caught her breath, she looks up at me before lightly kissing my cheek. “Thank you,” she tells me. She ducks her head against my chest and holds me almost as tightly as I do her. “Best wake-up ever.”
“Absolutely,” I agree. And if it were up to only me, we would wake up this way every day for the rest of our lives.
****
After the fun I had with Billie in the tent this morning, a smile has taken up permanent residence on my face. It was there as we drove back into town, as we went grocery shopping together, and especially as we had another round of getting each other off in my bedroom that afternoon. Even now as we make the trek up the driveway to my childhood home for dinner with Maya’s family, the uneasiness I usually feel when visiting can’t keep me from grinning like a sap.
Just as I’m about to knock, Billie elbows me in the side. When I look over at her, she gives me a pointed look. “You better wipe that smile off your face. You look like the cat that caught the canary,” she admonishes.
“I can’t help it,” I confess with a shoulder shrug. “I’m an easily readable person and it’s hard to hide how happy I am.”
Billie blushes slightly, her eyes glazed with her own happiness, but she soon shakes it away. “I’m happy you’re happy, but I don’t feel like talking about what we’re doing with Jake and Maya, and if you walk around with that shit-eating grin on your face, they’ll definitely know something is going on.”
“Fine,” I breathe out. Making a huge show of wiping a hand down my face, I put on a mock sad face. “Do I look like my normal self now?”
A chuckle escapes from her lips and she knocks on the door. “You’re such a dork.” She rolls her eyes, but can’t hide the fact that she’s smiling from me.
That I can make this beautiful woman smile has me feeling ten feet tall and capable of toppling trees with my bare hands. The bright smile she wanted me to hide so badly comes out in full force again just as my sister opens the door to greet us. Her sky blue eyes ping between Billie and me for a moment before she smiles slyly. “You two look pretty pleased about something,” she announces, stepping to the side and ushering us into the house.
Billie nods and walks inside, dropping her purse on the entry table. “We are. They had a two for one deal on kettle corn at the market. It’s our favorite thing to snack on while we watch trashy television.” It isn’t a lie, but it feels wrong not to be able to declare how I feel about Billie and what I suspect that she might be starting to feel for me, like my skin is too tight all of a sudden. Of course, I haven’t even confessed it to the woman herself yet, so maybe I’m getting bent out of shape over nothing.
Maya shakes her head as the three of us walk into the living room where JJ and Jake are on the floor playing with magnetic tiles. Taking a look around the updated room normally has me feeling a little unsteady, but as I take in the old mantle that my father carved offset by the bookcases I put in myself, I can’t help but feel like everything is as it should be. The old and new together, creating a happy atmosphere for my sister and her family. When I look over at Maya, the look of contentment on her face helps solidify the feeling. Soon her expression morphs into one of annoyance and she pokes my arm. “I still can’t believe you watch that stuff with Billie when you wouldn’t watch The Bachelor with me.”
“Her commentary is funnier,” I confess, my shoulder bobbing lightly. It is, but the real reason I like watching it is because it allows me to spend more time with Billie. From the look Maya shoots me, she’s not really buying my commentary excuse either. Luckily, JJ runs up to me and hugs my legs before she gets a chance to say anything more about it, though I know she will eventually.
As it turns out, eventually comes right after our shared meal when I offer to do the dishes. Dinner conversation mostly revolved around Maya and Jake’s wedding happening in a few months, and even though it is going to be a small affair taking place in the town square, there were a lot of details that Maya wanted to discuss with us. Well, mostly Billie to get her opinion, but occasionally she would ask for mine as well. JJ had been bored through most of the meal, so it wasn’t surprising that he finished his food in record time, eventually climbing out of his booster seat and going over to Billie to ask her to play with him in his room. Of course, she immediately agreed, looking so excited that he was warming up to her that I didn’t have the heart to intrude on their time, even though I’ve been missing hanging out with my nephew too. Jake accompanied her, and I assumed Maya did as well, but the minute I am elbow deep in soapy water, she appears from the dining room and pounces.
“So, you and Billie?” she asks again. When I hazard a glance in her direction, I see that her expression isn’t accusatory, but there is definitely an edge to her voice that I hadn’t expected. She’s made hints about the two of us together before, but she always seemed happy about it in the past, so this new tone is surprising.
Suddenly the casserole dish is my highest priority, and I focus my attention on getting it as clean as possible. “What about us?” My stomach sinks as I realize that I’m a little worried about what my sister will have to say. I may be older, but between losing our parents and raising a kid mostly on her own, Maya had to mature a lot more quickly than other women her age, and she doesn’t beat around the bush.
Maya sighs as she leans against the counter near the sink. “You know what I’m asking Carter,” she scolds. Her mom voice is in full effect and it works like a charm. Guilt blooms in my chest, but over what I have no idea. “While I fully support the idea of the two of you having fun, I can tell that it’s getting a lot more serious than that, at least for you.” She pauses to lightly touch my shoulder. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I won’t.” My voice is insistent, but the conviction I hoped to feel isn’t quite there. It might be if I had more evidence that the woman I’m in love with felt the same way about me, but I don’t. And you won’t anytime soon if you don’t talk to her.
Maya sighs heavily. “Carter, you don’t even know if she’s staying in town. Would you be willing to do a long distance relationship? Or move if she wanted to be back in Denver?”
Both are scenarios I hadn’t thought were even a remote possibility. Billie fit into my life so naturally that I hadn’t even considered if I would fit into hers. From what she’s told me, she wouldn’t want to go back to clubbing and fancy parties, but maybe she just needed a break from it and will want that again eventually. Would she really want some wannabe lumberjack on her arm as she waltzed into a club looking like a million dollars? The possibility of that is remote at best. While I want to be with her more than anything, the idea that she would eventually tire of me and my more reclusive ways as me hesitating again. I can make furniture anywhere, but I love my family, the shop, and the small town I currently live in. Being with Billie in Denver would mean sacrificing all that, and that’s if she even wanted me there with her to begin with.
Maya must sense me spiraling, because she shakes my shoulder and forces me to look at her. “I’m not saying that will happen, but maybe don’t fall so hard until you know for sure what her plans are.”
I nod and Maya leaves me to finish the dishes and stew in my uncertainty. As I do, I realize that what she’s asked of me isn’t possible. I can’t prevent myself from falling hard for Billie because I already have.