Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Bellcolor
I peek in my room before I go in, and I’m disappointed to find that Valentina isn’t there. I check the time on my phone. 10 PM. Summer classes officially start tomorrow, and I don’t know if the faculty will let them party until late hours. On the other hand, we don’t need sleep, so who am I to presume how this place works?
I lie on my bed and call my father to let him know that Prof. Sapienti has returned to his creator and been replaced by the mysterious lecturer. If there’s a demon who knows him, it must be my father. The dial tone echoes in my ears again and again, until the call goes to voicemail. I try again, but the result is the same. It’s strange, my dad said he’d be available for me at any time. With my luck it would be right now that he’s unavailable.
I send a text message so he won’t worry: I called but you weren’t available. I went to Prof. Sapienti’s office. Get back to me when you can. I’m alright.
I sigh and stare up at the ceiling. I’m alone in my room while everyone else my age is partying. Despite my life being turned upside-down, I’m in the same situation. What Valentina and I did ended in a completely fucked-up way, but she offered, so why is she acting like this? Besides, she’ll get in even more trouble if it becomes known that she abandoned me tonight.
I straighten up and decide not to drown in self-pity again. That won’t be the new life of Belle Fermi. It’s time for me to take the reins and start living my life the way I want to.
I take advantage of the opportunity with all the other students partying, and before you call me a nerd, I’ve concluded that the Dean’s non-punishment has led me to the only place on campus where I can find answers – the library.
“Ms. Fermi,” Ms. Lando greets me from her spot behind the library counter. We’d managed to introduce ourselves on my first visit here.
“Good evening,” I smile at her.
Fortunately Ms. Lando isn’t curious about why I’m here. She immediately returns to the book in her hand, and I hurriedly disappear between the library stacks.
During one of our summer vacations, when my father took me with him to a business meeting in England, I asked Marcus to take me on a trip to Oxford. With my father’s connections I managed to get a private tour of the library, and I remember not being able to make a sound, I was so astonished.
I can safely say that the library at the University of Bologna is even more beautiful. The air in the library is thin and adjusted for the ancient books, and it’s as cold as the deepest grave in the world. Prof. Sapienti did say that if a demon ever existed in a situation like mine, they weren’t documented in the history books… but there are always exceptions. All I have to do is look in the right places.
I pass by the various wings of the library and pause at the folklore section. The images of demons in urban legends are nothing like what we really are, but there are still a few overlapping similarities.
Every legend has a touch of truth to it, and I intend to extract that information using the means at my disposal.
I remember my father mentioning protective and healing powers being connected to divinity, and decide that’s a good starting point. I pull out all the books containing legends that mention angels gifted with those abilities, and start rapidly scanning them. The images change over time, but most have one recurring element all angels share: they have human bodies and wings on their backs. I also found a book on Jewish mythology in which the angels have no wings. I know that angels walk among humans, just like us, so how do they hide their wings?
Is the truth actually in the one book that portrays them differently?
When I reach what I roughly estimate to be the hundredth book, I’m about ready to vomit at the purity and nobility in the images of the angels. They promise salvation and true love, like they hold the answers to all the questions in the world. Come on.
When I read about the wrath of God in the Old and New Testaments, I realize he’s no different from Satan himself. Maybe God has a devilish side too, but humans prefer to ignore that. In general, the more I read the more I understand that humans are creatures who’d rather not take responsibility for their actions.
If they sin, they suck up to their God claiming the Devil is behind their lapse. And the worst of all are those who act in the name of God but sow only hatred. They’re false prophets, the Devil’s most beloved.
I try to consider what I think of supposedly being on the wrong side of the divide, the Devil’s side. I don’t know why, but I don’t feel bad or a need to apologize for it. All the stories of the divine seem so phony to me, and I can’t find any credibility in them. And yet I’m reminded of the cold morning wind that day I died, the curtain fluttering in the wind, dancing with the young sunbeams… I shake my head to stop the daydream.
The descriptions of the angels must be wrong too, they’re at constant war just like us. And war is always dirty business. Anyone who hasn’t dirtied their hands has no chance of winning. So I don’t doubt that angels aren’t as sacred and pure as the books present them. Otherwise I’d be sitting here with my hairy body, sharpened horns on my head, and burning the whole place down with fire shooting out of my eyes.
I chuckle at that thought.
As I finish my investigation and leave the library, I see that it’s daybreak. I breathe in the cold early morning air and feel alert. It’s my favorite time of day – when the sky isn’t bright or dark. I look at the sky, slowly filling up in a rainbow of soft colors.
The shifts from night to day and day to night is an endless war. Dawn defeats the night, and the dark swallows the sun. The perfect balance. The eternal cycle of life. Just like the war our creators are waging. We’re just the soldiers, forced to obey lest we be wiped off the face of the earth. Plain and simple.
And yet I still have no idea what my role is in this whole array.
Libretto thinks I’m special. If he means unusual, he’s probably right. Other than that, I have no idea what the Devil wants from me, or what Libretto sees in me.
I reach my room and glance at the clock. I have enough time to prepare for our first history lesson. We’ll be spending the next few weeks on an introduction to all the subjects we’re going to learn. That way we won’t be too lost – or too frightened – when the older students join us at the start of the semester.
Valentina still isn’t back. I don’t know what’s going on with her, she’s the one who suggested the lesbian experience. Maybe she didn’t think I’d respond, and panicked. Maybe it was the smell of my blood that drove her crazy.
I decide to take a shower before class, and doll myself up. I’m not trying to impress Dr. Abano or anything, and if I am, go ahead and shoot me. You’ll find I’m bulletproof.
As I wash my hair, I hear the door slam.
“Valentina?” I call out, but there’s no answer.
I quickly rinse the shampoo off and dry myself. When I open the bathroom door, I see the room is empty. I look around and a chill goes through me, the window is wide open. I look out to see if there’s anyone there, but there’s no one around. I’m sure I didn’t imagine it; I heard the door slam. So either someone came in through the window and left through the door, or someone came in through the door and left through the window. But if it had been a burglar, he probably would’ve kept quiet and not give away his presence in my room. The thought of the invader purposely announcing his presence in my room gives me the chills again, and I slam the window shut.
I sit in front of the mirror to do my makeup, and I gasp at what I see. One of my irises has gone almost completely white. The other eye is still lightly stained. There’s no doubt the pills I took are being purged from my body, and the change is accelerating – I wonder if it’s because of time passing or another reason, like feeding on Liam’s blood, or Libretto’s for that matter. If that’s the case, I’ll have no choice but to feed on Libretto in order to complete the transformation… so I’m screwed. Hard.
Satisfied with my makeup, I put on the school uniform and immediately feel my body filling out the clothes a bit more. You might say it’s tighter on me. My breasts are the same, but my hips have taken on a more feminine form.
I look myself over in the mirror and I’m stunned. The change isn’t drastic, but it’s pronounced. Look at that. I excitedly grab my bag and run to the Humanities Faculty building before I’m late to class. I enter the classroom at the last second and notice Valentina, who motions for me to join her. She seems fresh and clean, and I wonder when and where she got ready for class.
The trio are sitting a few desks behind her, close together, watching me as I sit down. I ignore them and their inquisitive eyes.
“Hey,” I turn to her. “Were you at the party all night?”
“Yeah, we followed up with an after-party in Tyra’s dorm room. Too bad you didn’t stick around.” She’s speaking normally to me, like there’s no tension between us, and I decide not to bring up what happened between us in the middle of a class full of students.
“It’s okay, you deserve some fun too. We don’t have to stay glued to each other.”
“But I’m supposed to stick to you. I needed some time to myself, but from now on I promise to do my job properly.”
I want to reply that the friendship that started growing between us is more important to me than her job, but Dr. Abano walks into class and we all straighten up and fall silent at once.
“Good morning, everyone,” Dr. Abano announces, placing his leather briefcase on the table. “My name is Bartimaeus Abano, and you can call me Dr. Abano. I’ll be spending this summer teaching you Intro to Demonic History. I hope to shed some light on the many questions you must be asking yourselves. What am I? Why am I here? Why was I chosen? And most importantly, what’s expected of me? I promise that at the end of the course everything will be clear.”
Dr. Abano looks across the room at everyone sitting there, and his eyes linger on me for a moment. Both his eyes are green. Was I hallucinating that day in his office? His different eyes had hypnotized me so, and maybe it had all been nothing more than a daydream. I shift uncomfortably in my chair and pray no one besides me has picked up on him staring at me.
When he turns to his briefcase and removes some documents, Valentina presses against me and whispers: “The Devil’s decided to give us some proper abuse. Can you imagine sitting here all summer and drooling over that hunk?”
Dr. Abano clears his throat, and Valentina immediately straightens up in her chair. “I won’t repeat this again, no small talk in my classroom. Next time I hear talking or whispering, someone will have to answer to the Dean. Am I understood?” his voice drones.
Silence settles over the class. No one dares so much as blink. Rumors of the punishment I’d gotten from the Dean have spread like wildfire. No one wants to get on the Dean’s radar.
Dr. Abano seems pleased at his class’s obedience as he opens his book and starts reading: “In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness 1 .”
A student raised his hand.
“Yes?” Dr. Abano gave him permission to speak.
“Dr. Abano, why are we reading the Old Testament? Don’t we have books of our own?”
“A good question, Mr. …”
“Derek, sir,” the student answered, seemingly quite proud of Dr. Abano’s compliment. Suck-up.
“Good question, Derek. Well, this is the oldest book in the human world, and I believe there’s much we can learn from it.”
“But who says it contains the truth? There are many religions in the world, and each has its own god.” I can’t help agreeing with Derek.
Dr. Abano nods. “And the Devil has many names. How do you know you’re worshipping the right Devil?”
“I just know,” Derek answered with overconfidence. I hold myself back from reacting.
“Fortunately for you, this isn’t a lesson about faith, Derek, or you’d flunk it.” Dr. Abano glares at Derek, who lowers his eyes.
“Well, most of you have learned the story of Creation at school. Who can tell me what you learned?”
Another student raises her hand, and Dr. Abano gestures to her. “It’s the book that starts the Old Testament, and it tells of the creation of the world and the beginning of humanity, which was created by God.”
“That’s right, Ms. …”
“Tracy, Dr. Abano.”
“Well, Tracy, that’s what’s taught in your schools, but I’m more interested in what came before that. What existed before God intervened and supposedly created the human world?”
Tracy again raised her hand, and Dr. Abano gave her permission to speak.
“The world was chaos. Meaning there was nothing there.”
“Oh?” Dr. Abano walks along the front of the stage, and our eyes track him with maximum attention. “If God decided to put things in a certain order, that means the lack of order was what ruled the world before Him. And if God decided to bring forth light, that means Darkness existed before it. If we read what’s written correctly, we learn that the natural state is Chaos. Thus, God did not create ex nihilo. He intervened in an existing state of affairs. His intervention ignited the ancient war that continues to this day.” Stunned voices sounded up throughout class. “I want us to spend this lesson carefully reading the text you’re familiar with from your previous lives. I want you to carefully note the words chosen to tell the story of Creation, the perspective from which it’s told and what it wishes to communicate to the reader. Most of all, I want you to be critical and try to understand what was cut out, what isn’t told and why. Are Satan and his emissaries mentioned in the story of Creation, and if so, how are they represented?”
I closely listen to the lecture, and the tone Dr. Abano uses to tell the story of Creation. The places where he pauses, where his voice rises or drops. I make mental notes to investigate those places later, because something tells me that’s what we’re expected to pay attention to, that they have some special meaning for us.
When the bell sounds, everyone hurriedly closes their notebooks and rushes out of class.
Dr. Abano raises his hand to draw our attention back to him, and announces: “For the next class I’d like you to read chapter 3, which recounts the sin of Adam and Eve. I want you to ask yourselves the same questions we asked in class, and we’ll go over them together next time.”
When I pass by Dr. Abano with the rest of the students, he addresses me, “A word, Ms. Fermi.” I practically turn to stone where I stand.
Valentina shoots me an inquisitive gaze and whispers: “I’ll be waiting for you outside class.” I nod and approach Dr. Abano’s desk.
“Yes, Dr. Abano?” I ask when the last student has left the classroom.
“Have you found the right questions yet?” He sits in his chair and leans back, examining my expression.
“Uh… I’m not sure what you mean,” I admit.
“I heard you did some research in the library that went on all night. Did nothing come of it?” How does he know I was at the library all night? Is Ms. Lando spying for him?
“N-no…” the word clumsily leaves my mouth.
“Hmm…” He leans on his chin. “I must say I’m a bit disappointed, Bellcolor. Maybe you’ll find more useful information in the homework.” He gestures to me that I’m dismissed.
I’m not fond of the gesture, but I quickly flee the classroom, not interested in lingering any longer than I have to. Something about Dr. Abano’s presence – especially when we’re so close – makes me uncomfortable. My body reacts to him in a slightly unpleasant way. It’s such a weird feeling, and I can only conclude that it’s something that would be improper between a student and her teacher.
Valentina waits for me at the classroom door. “What did he want? How does he know your name? He had to ask every student’s name but yours.” The suspicious look on her face doesn’t elude me.
“The whole faculty knows about my… situation; I assume it wasn’t hard to notice me among the other students.” I don’t let her in on our encounter last night in the former office of Prof. Sapienti.
“Come on, we need to get to the gym before we’re late for self-defense class.” She peeks at her cellphone and realizes that it doesn’t matter how fast we run, we’re already late.