Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bartimaeus
I used to look forward to purification. It was the highlight of every month for me, on the new moon. Confession, baptism in holy water, taking Communion, and praying to the King of Kings. But this time? I’ve honestly forgotten why I prayed for it to come.
For me to step on sacred ground, they had to drain the impure blood out of my body. But even after the draining, the blood had already had an irreversible effect on my body, and worse, my soul. I was unable to confess my sins. The list was too long, and I was afraid of voicing all the filthy thoughts of Bellcolor Fermi running through my mind. I feared that voicing them would be acknowledging them. And I refused to believe there was any tainted part of me that longed for her. And because I wasn’t honest in confession, the holy water burned my skin and my prayer left a bitter taste in my mouth. It would seem that sanctity had abandoned me.
Because I’d failed to carry out their previous plan, the Pope and all the Cardinals gathered to discuss formulating a new plan.
The sacred dagger should have stripped her of her demonic power, but it seems that this time she’d returned to the realm of Adam with incalculably powerful defensive and healing powers.
“She stole them!” Cardinal Josef shouted.
“You’re suggesting she managed to deceive God Almighty? Accursed heresy!” Cardinal Eduardo replied, slamming his fist onto the table.
“Gentlemen,” the Pope raised his hand to calm tempers before the situation truly spun out of control. All the Cardinals fell silent as one. “Let us fully hear the words of Bartimaeus.”
“He can no longer be trusted! He’s lost his soul to impurity!” Cardinal Walter points at me, and I shrink where I stand. He’s right, damn it. But I can’t lose faith. That’s what sets us apart from these monsters.
“Silence!” The Pope strikes the table, and everyone silently shoots up out of their chairs.
He raises his hand toward me, gesturing as he gives me permission to speak.
I look right at him and drop the bomb. “She shed tears.”
“ Domine, adiuvame !” the Cardinals call out, one after another, and the arguments reawaken.
The Pope rests on his hand and covers his eyes. He lets the Cardinals make their protests, and when the voices die down a bit he again raises his hand and they fall silent.
“The girl, Bellcolor. You said she wishes to banish Lilith?” I nod. “Why? Does she not want the power the Damned One offers her?” His brow wrinkles as he tries to understand.
“I don’t know, but she asked for my help in driving her out of the lands of Adam. It means she’s failed to do so herself.”
The reason for that has not yet been made clear to me, but as long as Bellcolor exists and Lilith’s incarnation into her body remains incomplete, I know we have to take advantage of that. Hope isn’t lost just yet.
“Then we must not give up this golden opportunity,” the Pope determines as he processes what has been said. “You must use her to expose her strengths and weaknesses.”
“But, Your Holiness—” I want to protest, but he interrupts me by lifting his hand, signaling that the discussion is over before it began.
“Return to the University of the Damned. Do your duty, guardian angel, lest you incur the wrath of God and Hell erupts onto the realm of Adam.”
I sigh and lower my head in submission.
After leaving the hallowed ground, I go through the agonizing procedure again, draining my pure blood and filling my veins with the corrupted blood of demons. My body no longer fights it as it used to, and my heart is full of an ominous dread. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep doing this, and when my body will finally surrender to this desecration and give in to the darkness threatening to consume me.
My veins pulse painfully as the image of Bellcolor again rises to the forefront of my thoughts. I can’t bear her presence. I can’t bear her absence. What the hell is happening to me?
“Come to me,” I call out to my current blood donor. Her eyes are glazed and she stumbles over to me with some difficulty. Her legs are insane, her body a work of art. It’s a shame its contents are accursed, and her soul is filthy. I grab her curly red hair and pull her towards my treasonous stiff member. I can’t get Bellcolor’s image out of my mind, it haunts me. She opens her mouth and swallows my needy erection. “Yes, take it all,” I groan, grimacing as her frozen spit makes contact with my rigid penis.
Sinner, sinner, you’re a sinner… The thought should haunt me, but it doesn’t. I’m too deep in this shit now.
I make a fist in her hair and try to imagine Bellcolor’s hot tongue, which ignited my still heart, demonically dancing with my tongue in the sin we shared.
The whore’s choking ruins the atmosphere. Useless piece of shit, I throw her to the other side of the room, plummeting on the operating table and roaring in rage. I have to get a hold of myself. Damn it, she’s not her. No one is her.
Lilith, you’re mocking me.
And I’m fucking losing.