Chapter 19 - Shane
Hyacinth’s warm weight on my chest soothes me, the soft rush of her breathing lulling me into a state of pure relaxation. Her hair is soft under my fingers. She’s so contented, it almost feels like she’s purring.
What the fuck just happened?
Obviously, sex. But other than that, I’m at a loss. I remember falling—a dark wave swallowing me up, a horrible nausea rising in my throat, the shock of hitting the floor, then—
Hyacinth’s kiss.
Pleasure runs through me again just at the memory of it. A faint tingle of goosebumps flows over my skin, and I feel it ripple across Hyacinth’s body. When I look down, I see her fingers teasing gently against my chest, and she smiles up at me, her violet eyes turning warm and bright.
“Are you okay?” I ask. “I mean, are you—were you—”
“I’m okay,” she says, moving a little so she can look up at me more comfortably. “But what about you? You fell. You were so sick, I thought you were going to die.”
“I’m fine,” I reply, stretching my limbs a little as I look for weakness or pain. “Better than ever.”
“Have I cured you?” Hyacinth asks.
Good question.
To answer it, I’d have to get up, and it’s the last thing I want to do. I tighten my arms around her again, enjoying the weight of her head against my chest and the sweet smell of her completely engulfing my senses.
Why do I feel like if I let her go, I’ll never hold her again?
“I’m not sure,” I say, answering Hyacinth’s question. “I’d have to get up, and I don’t really want to do that.”
“Me neither,” she replies. “But I am getting a bit stiff from being on this floor.”
“Me too,” I admit, unwinding myself from Hyacinth so I can get up.
The moment our bodies part, I feel a gray veil of pain settle over me. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was before, but definitely strong enough that I feel significantly worse after letting go of her.
“How do you feel?” she asks.
“Okay,” I reply. “But not healed. Let me see something.”
I reach out and take her hand, and the veil lifts, just a little. Looking around and testing my senses, I find that they’re stable but not as strong as they should be.
“I’m not cured,” I say with disappointment. “But I do feel a lot better than before.”
“Well, that’s something,” she says.
“Something is better than nothing,” I reply.
“I wonder if…” Hyacinth looks up at me, her eyes narrowing a little as she examines me.
“Wondering what?”
“Maybe I should try kissing you again.”
“I have no complaints,” I say, smiling.
Hyacinth smiles, too, and her eyes light up with a violet glow, reminding me of the vivid hues in a sunset just after the sun has slipped over the horizon.
She’s so beautiful. But when she’s happy, she’s utterly breathtaking.
Hyacinth gets up on her tiptoes, her hands on my shoulders.
She kisses me gently, her lips feather light at first, then gently kneading against mine.
I reach for her, holding her waist as she pulls herself closer to me.
The kiss deepens, and I fall into the moment, my arms tightening around her as she opens up to me.
“Okay,” she breaths, pulling back and shoving my shoulders. “This is a science experiment, remember—you need to tell me how you feel.”
“I feel great,” I reply, fighting my arms around her waist. “Never better.”
“Is that related to your condition with the curse or…”
“Well,” I laugh. “I might be distracted now because I’m horny as fuck.”
“Exactly my point,” she says, stepping back. “How do you actually feel?”
The moment she steps away from me, I feel it again. The pain in my joints, the weakness of my muscles.
“No, I’m still not right,” I admit. “I can feel the sickness in me. I feel a lot better than before, but not healed.”
“That means the others will still be sick,” she says softly.
I nod. “For the others, the pack didn’t start to get better until another ritual was done—something on top of the marriage bond.”
“Like what?” she asks, looking shocked. “No one told me about this. I’m really supposed to pull off some magic spell?”
“No, not like that,” I reply, frowning. “I don’t know. It’s not like I was there; I only heard about it. But yes, there was something else the girls did to cure the pack.”
Hyacinth shakes her head. “I was told that we have sex and everything gets fixed.”
“Well, no…” I say. “Physical connection was important for the girls to awaken their powers. The rest didn’t come until later.”
Hyacinth crosses her arms across her chest, looking stressed. “I really thought we made something happen,” she says softly.
“We did,” I reply, gently cupping her cheek. “Something powerful just happened between us. Let’s focus on that.”
She raises her hand, covering mine as she leans into my touch. Her violet eyes widen as she looks up at me, the depths of them as dark and bottomless as the infinite abyss.
“Yes, we shared something,” she says. “It was amazing.”
I keep looking at her, and I know she’s examining my gaze, just as I’m falling into hers. I don’t look away; I just let her in, exposing myself in a way I never have before.
I’ve never felt so close to anyone—ever. Come in, Hyacinth, come all the way in. I don’t ever want to let you go.
“Are you okay?” I ask, stroking her cheek with my thumb. “It got pretty wild.”
“Yes, it did,” she chuckles. “I didn’t mind, though.”
“Oh. So… you like that?”
She frowns. “I’m not sure what you mean. That was… intense. I enjoyed myself. I’m not sure what you’re asking.”
Even though I want to go into more detail, I have a horrible, instinctual fear rising in me.
If I say the wrong thing, she’ll pull away again. I don’t think I could stand that.
“I just mean that you’re always in control, okay? You tell me how you want to feel, and I’ll respect whatever you say.”
“Okay,” she replies a little hesitantly. Her violet eyes have started to shimmer with intensity, and I have a horrible feeling I’ve made her angry.
“But we’re together now,” I say, smiling. “We have plenty of time to work this out, because we can practice all we like.”
“What?”
“Come on,” I say teasingly. “Don’t try to tell me you don’t want another round.”
I try to playfully pull her into my arms, but she pulls back, pushing my hands away.
“What the fuck do you mean?” she snaps, her eyes flickering with anger. “Am I just your property now?”
“That’s not what I said!” I snap back. “I just thought you would—”
“Would what? Provide sex on tap every single time you have an itch to scratch?”
“Dammit!” I yell, throwing my head back and clenching my fists. “Will you listen to me? I wasn’t expecting anything.”
“Well, it sounds like you were,” she says in a scathing tone. “You don’t have full rights to me just because I’ve fucked you once.”
“I didn’t assume so,” I reply, an icy note of calm slipping into my voice. “I don’t know why you’d think that.”
For a few moments, we glare at each other. I can’t believe the hard, crystal glare in her eyes is in the same place I saw softness and love.
Love? Is that what I saw? I don’t know. Maybe I was just delirious. I’m not sure of anything now.
“We should go,” I say, my voice echoing through the empty room.
“Yeah,” she replies. “I’ll get my bag.”
Hyacinth strides away to go into the shop, and I lean on the counter, putting my hand on my forehead. It feels like the whole world, not just the room, is spinning, and I can’t stand the idea of getting sick again and dealing with Hyacinth at the same time.
I think if I collapsed right now, she’d just step over my corpse and get on with her life.
“Okay,” she says a little haughtily. “I’m ready to go.”
I look up to see her standing nearby with her purse over her shoulder. She’s tied up the torn edges of her blouse so it looks like a midriff top.
“Sorry about the blouse,” I say.
She shakes her head. “It’s fine. I wouldn’t go out on the town like this, but it will do for now.”
My mind fills with so many questions, I feel literally paralyzed. I feel desperate, as if I have to do something before we leave this room or we’re going to end up in a worse place than where we started.
“Hyacinth,” I begin, but the sharp crystal glare of her eyes silences me immediately.
“What?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.”
Her eyes soften, just a little, and I feel a tugging in my chest as if my heart is trying to leap out from behind my ribs and go to her.
Stop thinking about love. She doesn’t love you, and she never will.
Besides, love is the one thing I can’t ever trust.
“Let’s go, then,” I say, heading for the back doors.
Hyacinth locks up the shop, and we go out from the dock to the parking lot. She doesn’t look at me once on the way over, or as we get in the car, and my heart sinks even further.
On the way home, I try to think of something to say, but her cold manner keeps me quiet. She looks out the window, keeping the back of her head to me as if she’s trying to block all conversation. The questions I need answers to just get louder and louder in my brain.
What happened to you? Something did, something bad. Someone hurt you, didn’t they? Who? How?
I swear, I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.
By the time we pull up at home, I’m exhausted again. I don’t know if it’s because of the evening I’ve had or the curse coming back to me. I know I’ll have to talk to the other alphas as well as Sadie and Trina about this, but I’m in no hurry for that.
How do I explain that I had a life-altering experience, and then half an hour later, it was like it didn’t even happen?
When I stop in the driveway, Hyacinth gets out and goes to stand by the door, waiting for me. I unlock it, and she shoves past, hurrying down the hallway.
“Hyacinth, wait, please,” I call after her. “Let me make you something to eat, or order in. We need to talk.”
“Talking isn’t going to change anything,” she says, turning to look at me. “It never does. Men just don’t fucking care. They do what they want, and women pay for it.”
Even though a retort is blistering on my tongue, there is also a deep sadness rising in my chest.
Something happened to her.
“Hyacinth, what happened to you?” I ask quietly. I take a few steps towards her, trying to keep my tone gentle.
Her eyes well with tears, and the sight of it is like a stiletto right through the heart.
“Don’t even pretend you care!” she snaps. “You brought me here against my will—you don’t care about me or what I need! You only care about yourself.”
“I care about my pack,” I reply.
She shakes her head, wiping tears from her cheeks.
“Don’t pretend you care about me, though,” she says. “Anything you’re doing right now is just to get back into my pants. God, I’m so stupid—why am I so stupid?”
“You’re not!” I yell, coming closer to her. “You’re not stupid. We felt something, both of us did. It had an impact on the curse—”
“Here we go again,” she sighs, shaking her head. “You lead in as if it’s about me, and us, but it’s really just about the curse. That’s all it’s ever about.”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“Whatever,” she whispers, her voice hoarse. “I’m going to have a shower and go to bed. Do whatever you like.”
I stand in the hallway and watch her go, trying to figure out if the weakness and pain in my chest is the return of the curse or a genuine response to Hyacinth’s emotional state.
I’m really beginning to believe something terrible happened to her, and that’s why she’s so afraid. But how can I help her if she won’t talk to me?