1. Doll
CHAPTER ONE
DOLL
PRESENT
“ B itch, you just reneged,” Ashley said over Brittany’s shoulder. My eyes darted in her direction. She sat there with her cards up to her face like she actually knew what the fuck she was doing and peeked at me over ’em, knowing I was ’bout to say some.
“Ho, thought you said you knew how to play spades?” My head tilted. Everybody knew I didn’t play any games when it came to playing cards. That was how I made my money most days. If my main bitch Starr wasn’t locked up in solitude, we would have been whupping these bitches’ asses by now.
“She lying. I ain’t reneged shit!” Brittany shot back.
“Let me see yo’ cards then.”
This stupid bitch showed the entire table her hand. My palms slammed against the table and I lifted to my feet. She was ’bout to get these size seven Air Max up her raggedy ass.
“Bitch, you ’bout one of the dumbest mufuckas I ever seen!”
“Who the fuck you calling dumb?” Brittany flipped the table and all the cards flew everywhere. Ashley stood to the side wrapping her bubblegum ’round her index finger. The ho was tuned in ’cause that was all she ever did in the first place was instigate some shit. Damn near the entire block stayed in some shit ’cause of her.
“I’ll fold yo’ sloppy ass up like a pretzel. Don’t fucking play with me.” Brittany thought that just ’cause she was three times my size that I wouldn’t beat the brakes off her ass. I wasn’t scared of no-fucking-body. She can get it. Her mammy can get it. Hell, her fucking dog could get it if she had one. I didn’t give a fuck.
Brittany’s hands balled into fists and I brushed my hair back into a ponytail. One thing she wasn’t ’bout to do was grab me by the hair. That was always them bitches’ go-to. ’Cause I was far from bald headed, they wanted to try and rip my shit out the scalp. No ma’am. Not today.
I ran straight for that bitch with my arms spread wide, prepared to tackle her ass to the floor but bounced off her stomach like a basketball hitting a brick.
“Got damn, big guh, you need to lose some fucking weight,” I told her as I pulled myself up off the floor.
“Wells!”
My head snapped in Scott’s direction for a split second and I felt something go straight ’cross my chin. I stumbled back a bit and wiggled my jaws. Brittany stood inches away from me with a huge smirk on her face. I was ’bout to rock big baby to sleep ’til Scott stepped in between us.
“I suggest y’all take your asses on before y’all find yourselves in solitude,” she threatened. Everyone began to scatter. My eyes stayed trained on Brittany. I was gon’ get that bitch back before the day was over with. “I can’t leave yo’ ass alone for five minutes and you’re already in some shit.”
“You know how spades can get,” I joked.
“Go and pack your shit. It’s time for you to go.”
“You ain’t gotta tell me twice.”
I jetted to my room and snatched the couple pictures off the wall that I had of my sister Jill, my mama, and my best friend Stoney. They were really the only family I had. Ma and Jill hadn’t been there to visit me since I got arrested. I had reached out to ’em multiple times but heard nothing back. After a couple months of trying, I chucked it up as a loss. I figured they didn’t want nothing to do with me since I got arrested. I couldn’t blame ’em for that.
Stoney, on the other hand, my bitch had been riding for me like my right hand. Anything I needed, she made damn sure that I had it. She never missed a phone call or visit. I owed her the mufuckin’ world when I got outta here.
“This all I need,” I told Scott.
She walked me through all the doors out to the desk. I signed my release paperwork, and they handed me the clothes back that I wore the night they booked me. The shit was too damn small, and I wasn’t even ’bout to attempt to put it on. Since I been in here, I had went from a hundred and twenty pounds to a good hundred and fifty. It was all hips and thighs.
The door buzzed and I stepped out the doors of Tutwiler. Soon as my feet touched the concrete, the sun scorched my skin. I lifted my hand to shield my eyes from the sun.
“Biiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!” Stoney screamed from the parking lot.
We ran full speed toward each other, and I jumped up in her arms. Stoney stumbled a lil bit and I realized I was a lil too big to be doing that shit now.
“I can’t believe you’re really free.”
“I know…” I was kinda disappointed to not see my family out here with her. Despite ’em treating me like shit the entire time I was away, I still took the effort to write ’em and let ’em know I was getting out in hopes they’d come and get me. I’d never understand how come they couldn’t make the short drive to come see me. They were living right there in Montgomery and in four years, they never even showed their faces. Shit crushed my heart every time I called their phones and they wouldn’t pick up.
“That’s you?” I turned my attention to the black Benz Stoney was leaned against. The shit was way nicer than the Honda Civic she was pushing before I got locked up.
“Girl, yes. You know I told you I got promoted to that manager position. Speaking of which, we’re hiring and when we get back from Ocean Reef, I’ma help you get a job there. It may not be much, but it’ll be something in your pockets for now.”
“Wayment. Ocean Reef?”
“Yeah. Everyone is going there for Kaylan’s wedding. My boss invited me. That’s the only reason why I’m going.” My nose scrunched. I wasn’t a big fan of my cousin Kaylan. All we ever did was argue ’cause the bitch thought she was better than everybody. “I know what you’re thinking. You may not want to be there, but after being in there…” She nodded toward the prison and continued, “You should want the vacation. It’s already paid for.”
“Got damn, who spending money like that?”
“My boss.”
“Sounds like a paid nigga to me. What he look like?” Stoney’s eyes darted toward the sky and her face flushed. From that alone, I could sense that nigga was fine as fuck and she had been wanting him. Stoney wasn’t the type to just jump out there and get whoever she wanted. She was kinda timid—an introvert. Most of the niggas she ever had was ’cause they approached her or I got ’em for her.
“I’m not going there with you. Hop in,” she said, rounding the car. I climbed inside the passenger seat and was immediately attacked with the scent of Gain.
“You just washed this mufucka?”
“No. It’s the car freshener.”
“That shit smells good as fuck.”
“Thanks. You going to yo’ mama’s house or you coming home with me? I wasn’t sure where you was gon’ want to stay, so I didn’t bother grabbing your stuff from storage yet.”
“Take me by Ma’s house. I’ll decide then.”
“’Kay.”
When I got locked up and they sentenced me, Stoney went over and packed up my entire apartment and placed it in storage. My car got repossessed ’cause I wasn’t able to pay on it. It didn’t matter. I’d get another one once I got a job and settled. The only thing on my mind at the moment was that I was a free bitch.
Stoney pulled out the parking lot and headed in the direction of Montgomery. “Oh, here…” She reached into her center console and handed me a brand-new iPhone. “I put you on my line for now.”
“You always looking out.” I powered the phone on and went straight to the App Store, downloaded FaceBook, then signed in.
Behind bars, I checked my accounts from time to time. I never stayed on there too long ’cause it always bothered me how everyone was out living their best lives while I was behind bars. The shit was depressing as fuck. Jill had deleted me from her pages and I couldn’t see anything she posted. It was as if they deleted me from their lives completely.
A bitch finally free!
I posted on my page, letting the world know I was home. Plenty niggas had been in my DMs while I was away and I was giving ’em the green flag. All my life, I had tried to live right and deal with one nigga at a time. That shit got me nowhere. They wanted to lie, cheat, and manipulate the fuck out of me, then I was gon’ do the same. I was ’bout to show they ass who daughter I was. Sis was ’bout to date ’em all. Let the best nigga win.
My mama was one of the biggest hos out there. She fucked so many niggas that she didn’t even know who my nor Jill’s father was. That lady was pussy popping on every big baller that was willing to spend their bread on her. Growing up, she taught us so many fucked-up ways. Me being the hopeless romantic that I was, I went against her advice, and look where the shit got me.
According to Ma, you should never give a man your heart. You should date a nigga that care more ’bout you than you do him. Never date for love, but date for what a nigga can do for you. She never believed in marriage. Her words were, “Marriage is a trick to get women to be slaves.” That woman lived by her words. In all of my thirty years, I had never once seen her married or stay with a man too long. She was certainly not the best role model.
Stoney pulled up to Ma’s house and my brows furrowed. “Whose kids are those?” I asked her, pointing at the two small children that were running ’round the yard. One was a lil girl that looked like she was ’bout two and the lil boy looked to be like three or four.
“Doll, I got something to tell you,” were her words, but I climbed out the car soon as I saw Jill step onto the porch with a bottle of Stella Rose wine. The bottle dropped from her clutches and shattered against the porch when her eyes landed on me.
“I see you still breathing,” I said when I stopped at the porch.
“Of course, I am. What is that supposed to mean?”
“Y’all couldn’t answer the fucking phone while I was locked up? You couldn’t come down the road and see me, not one time?”
I folded my arms ’cross my chest and the lil boy ran up on the porch and said, “Ma? Ma?”
“You got kids, Jill?”
She blankly stared at me. I wanted to smack the shit out of her black ass, pretending like she ain’t hear me talking to her.
“Bae?...” The masculine voice trailed off. My eyes zoomed to the doorway and saw Jerrell’s bitch ass standing there. I should have fucking killed that nigga that night. He had the fucking audacity to be standing there calling my mufuckin’ sister bae and shit. I just know these weren’t his fucking kids!
“These yo’ kids, Rell?” I questioned him, pointing my thumb over my shoulder.
Stoney stopped alongside me out of breath. “I was just tryna tell you,” she spoke, and my head snapped in her direction.
“Oh, so you fucking knew these two were fucking and didn’t tell me shit!”
“Fucking? Boo, we married.” Jill waved her hand in my face and I saw the small rock on her finger. The shit was so fucking small that it was damn near impossible to see.
“You knew they were married and didn’t tell me?” Moisture filled my eyes. I really thought we were better than that. I wasn’t even hurt ’bout them being together, it pained me that my best friend kept a secret like that away from me.
“I wanted to tell you, Doll, but I didn’t want you worried ’bout all that while you was away. I did it to protect you.” Stoney stared at me with watery, pleading eyes. We never kept secrets from each other. Ever. This one had my heart bleeding.
Poking the inside of my jaw with the tip of my tongue, I stepped up on the porch and swung on Jill. My fist connected with her jaw and the other hit her chin. She flew back into the doorway and landed straight on her back. I wasted no time climbing on top of her.
“You fucking bitch!”
Wham!
I punched her ass again. Saliva and blood sprayed from her lips. Rell grabbed me by the forearm and I yanked away from him.
“Nigga, you fucking next!” I spat over my shoulder and punched Jill again.
“Uh uh, let ’em fight,” Ma’s voice erupted from the other side of the room.
All these mufuckas knew these bitches were together and ain’t said a fucking word. That was the reason why they didn’t deal with me while I was away. The guilt tore they ass up and now I was ’bout to tear they ass up. I beat the fuck outta Jill ’til she was black and blue.
Pulling myself from on top of her, I shook my aching hands. I was in pain, but that still wasn’t ’bout to stop me from ripping Rell a new asshole.
“When this shit started? Huh!” I marched in his direction with my hands balled into fists. Stoney pulled the lil girl out his arms ’cause she knew I was ’bout to drop his ass.
“Does it really matter?” The nigga had the fucking nerves to ask.
I clenched my teeth. My hands tightened where I felt my nails pressing into my palms.
“It was before you went to jail!” Ma shouted from inside the house with her messy ass.
Wham!
I punched the shit out that nigga. His face didn’t even budge. That shit pissed me off even more. Gripping his shoulders, I lifted my knee and hit him right in the balls. He gasped and doubled over.
“I should have shot that shit off!”
I stomped toward Stoney’s car. Had I stayed a moment longer, I was probably gon’ end up back in prison for manslaughter two times. Stoney ran ’round to the driver’s door and hopped inside. “I’m really sorry. I wanted to tell you so many—” I turned the radio all the way up, not wanting to hear shit she had to say.
When we arrived at her duplex, we got out the car and silently went up to the door. Soon as we got in the house, I took my ass right on into her guest bedroom. She stopped in the doorway behind me and her lips parted. The door shut in her face.