35. Isabel
Iwoke to one of those mornings with an azure sky, not a cloud in sight, birds twittering and the early sun slanting through the window and across my bed. My body was humming along with the birds. What was aching last night had magically transformed into a delicious mishmash of tenderness and pleasure everywhere.
Once again I fell asleep while talking to Roman. Meg must have come into my room at some point and covered me with the quilt.
My finger hovered over the phone to send Roman a text apologizing for falling asleep, but I figured he was up to his neck in work and it would be better to leave him be. That thought was still trailing in my mind when the phone buzzed with a text. My stomach filled with flutters.
But it was Sergei.
SERGEI:Are we practicing tonight, malishka?
I sighed. This was typical Sergei. Casually texting as if he hadn’t whined to Meg last night like he was the heartbroken lover and I was the coldhearted bitch cheating on him with another man.
Feeling as good as I did, I wasn’t going to get into it with him. Once my temper flared, there was a good chance things would be said that didn’t need saying.
ME:Maybe you should ask Pauline to do the competition with you tomorrow night.
SERGEI:Are you kidding me? Why are you doing this?
ME:The only way I would continue dancing together is if you stop acting like you have any say in what I do with my life.
SERGEI:Maybe I’m just looking out for you, malishka. There are heartless bastards out there and I’d hate for you to get hurt.
ME:I appreciate your concern and all that, but I’m a big girl, I think I can cope.
SERGEI:Then don’t come crying to me when the waiter breaks your heart.
ME:Again, there is no waiter, Sergei. But even if there was, it’s my life not yours.
Sergei didn’t reply, but I suspect that was because he had a hard time typing while fuming. I decided to put him on ignore and continued getting ready for work.
I didn’t have to stand under a cold shower to perk up. I was a singing, showering commercial of bliss, indulging in the warm water caressing every place on my body that Roman had touched and kissed.
By the time I was dressed and making coffee, my phone buzzed again. Sergei was testing my patience. Must. Not. Get. Pissed.
But this time it was Roman.
ROMAN:Good morning, my sweet.
ME:Good morning, mon coeur! I owe you an apology.
ROMAN:You do? Fine, let’s hear it. I’m always up for an apology. What are you apologizing for?
ME:Falling asleep on you for a second time.
ROMAN:Should I apologize for watching you sleep then?
ME: You didn’t.
ROMAN:I did. Again. And I don’t regret a thing. It was the closest I could get to having you next to me. What are your plans for today?
ME:Henry and I will be playing Clue. We’ll also be reading Rebecca, and at lunchtime I’m showing Mrs. Sheldon and Sophia how to make choux dough from scratch.
ROMAN:And here I thought I had a busy day. You should find a few minutes and come to the south wing. I’ll just mute the execs and spend some time with you.
ME: Hmm, maybe not. Don’t want to risk running into Gladys.
ROMAN:Isabel.
ME:Roman.
ROMAN:As my muse and my girlfriend you have full access to the south wing. I will talk to Gladys.
ME: Please don’t, not yet. We can meet in the library. Besides my sense of direction is piss poor and if I try to go to the south wing I’ll just end up in the dungeon.
ROMAN:Did you just say piss poor?
ME:I did! Are you shocked?
ROMAN:No, but I’m laughing and the people on the big screen are looking at me funny. I’ll text you later, honey badger. I have to get back to the meeting. The Swedes are hostile toward my new business proposal. Let me go sort them out.
ME:Give them hell. And good luck! xoxo
A disheveled Meg dragged herself out of the bedroom as I poured us coffee. “Good morning,” I said, and held out a mug.
She grabbed it with a smirk. “Being happy and in love works for you in oh so many ways.”
“I know it’s quite sickening, isn’t it? One egg or two with your toast?” I asked. I dropped the bread in the toaster and put a pan on the burner.
“Two please,” Meg said, watching me curiously. “So how does it feel?”
I melted butter in the pan and broke three eggs over it, sprinkling them with salt and pepper. “How does what feel?”
“Being so in love. Finding that one person who rocks your world?”
To say I was surprised by Meg’s question would be putting it mildly. “Asks the woman who’s had her fair share of lovers.”
Meg cupped the coffee mug with her hands, and for once she seemed reflective, weighing her words. “You can have lots of sex and even care for someone but never feel a connection, you know. Like you and Sergei. You loved him and I know the sex wasn’t too shabby, even if it wasn’t mind-blowing, but there was no real connection. But look at you now. You’re practically buzzing with happiness. Something I never saw you do with Sergei.”
I heaped the food on two plates, refilled our coffees and we sat down at the table.
“And you’ve never had that connection with anyone?” I asked. “Like not even a spark.”
“Not one single one. I’m pretty sure you would’ve been the first to know if I did.”
“Until now I didn’t know a thing like that existed,” I said, “so what did I know. I just presumed you fell in and out of love all the time.”
“Not to confuse that with sexual chemistry. I’ve had plenty of that. But no, I’ve never been in love.”
“Well, color me stunned. Here I thought I knew all there was to know about you.”
“So again, how does it feel?” Meg insisted.
I swallowed down the last bite of toast with coffee. “I’ll try my best to explain… So there’s this thing in Greek mythology where all humans were created with a matching part. But Zeus being afraid that they might grow too powerful, decided to cut them in half. Now humans are mortals forever, searching for their other half. It feels like I loved Roman before I ever knew him. It feels like I found my other half.”
Meg stared at me in wonder. “Holy shit. Okay. I’ll have me some of that. Maybe I’ll stop by at the bookshop, or library, take a peek at what they have to offer true love-wise. Because I’m not gonna discover him on Tinder, that’s for sure. And maybe I shouldn’t only judge a man’s character by his shiny floppy hair, his rock-hard ass or the size of his hands.”
I gasped and laughed. “You don’t have to compromise on the rock-hard ass or the size of a man’s hands. Roman has both and I won’t lie…it might not be entirely untrue what they say about large hands.”
When the Navigator arrived outside, Meg ran to the window and stopped short. “Where’s George?”
“He’s taking a few days off. Say hello to The Terminator.”
“He seems like a barrel of laughs.”
“Oh, it’s a laugh a minute on his rides. As in not at all.”
“He looks like a retired assassin. Maybe he needs someone to paddle his ass to loosen up.”
I grabbed my bag and coat, laughing. “Didn’t you just vow to find your dates in bookshops and libraries from now on?”
Meg gulped her coffee like it was a shot of vodka. “Never said I was going to give up on having fun while looking for my one true love.”
I stopped at the front door. “But let’s not have that fun with the people I work with, capisce?’
“Capisce,”Meg grinned. “Besides, I’m not into buzz cuts. Nothing to grip during toe-curling sex.”
* * *
When I arrivedat Belmont Manor gray clouds had started to move in, blotting out the sun, casting shadows all over the mansion and the picturesque grounds. A breeze had picked up, as if rustling in to relay some breaking news.
Roman stood at the window in the south wing, talking to someone I couldn’t see. Presumably Zooming with the Swedes. But all the while his gaze was glued to mine. As I climbed the steps to the front door, I graced him with a casual smile, as if my blood hadn’t turned into lava boiling through my veins.
On entering the mansion I was greeted by the usual tombstone silence. Although this time there was something else, a familiar charge in the air. As if I was in a place I’d come to love. Who would have thought, the mausoleum casually turning into a welcoming home.
When I got to the staffroom I was immediately met by Nelson, who took the confectionary box off my hands. “Well, aren’t you a picture this morning. Look at those pink cheeks.”
“Morning, Nelson. These are pain au chocolat. It’s basically croissants with chocolate. Nothing fancy. I hope that’s okay.”
“Oh please. These vultures are already salivating. Look at them. Besides, your pastries are always perfect. Let me steal two and put the rest on the table.”
“Take a few for Albert too. I made extra.”
“Oh he will appreciate that, thank you. He ate all those lovely macarons in one sitting. I literally had to wrestle two from him for myself.”
Nelson wasn’t wrong. That confectionary box wasn’t on that table for two seconds before everyone gathered around it to feast. Even Gladys got her hands dirty and snatched a couple of pain au chocolat for her grumpy self.
As I was pouring my coffee, Emily swooped in beside me with a knowing smile and a glint in her eye. “I wanted to text you yesterday, but I didn’t want to intrude,” she whispered. “But I assume lunch with Roman went very well.”
My smile told her everything she wanted to know. “It certainly did,” I whispered back. “We had a lot of fun.”
“The way Roman carried on about your ravioli was quite something. And that wasn’t the only thing he was carrying on about. I believe my son is head over heels.”
A flush stole its way from my chest to my face, and I really tried not to smile like a lovesick teenager. The struggle was real. “I don’t believe your son is the only one suffering from this thing called love.”
Emily’s look was nothing short of sheer contentment. “Isabel, I’ll be forever grateful to you for discovering that part of him he never knew existed. He’s been stuck in his own world for far too long.”
* * *
Henryand I were three quarters of the way through our game of Clue, which it seemed he was winning (again), when my phone buzzed with a text.
ROMAN:Library. Now.
As if his hedging-no-debate tone didn’t make me quiver with want, I casually texted back.
ME: Like right now? Henry and I are playing Clue. And I can’t have him win.
ROMAN:Are you sassing me? I said now, honey badger. Or I’m coming over there.
My hand slapped over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. No doubt he’d be able to hear me, not-so-covert spy that he was.
ME: Fine. Coming.
Like I had to be told twice.
The adrenaline rush made the voyage to the library shorter than usual and before I knew it I was standing outside the room collecting myself. I went inside and locked the door behind me.
Roman was waiting at the oak table, leaning against it with his arms folded, facing the entrance. It took him but a couple of long strides to reach me, his gaze devouring my entire being before he scooped me up in his arms.
“Isabel,” he muttered, his breath warm against my cheek before his feverish mouth found my parting lips.
I savored his smell and drowned in his taste, a moment that sizzled into one of those kisses that pilfers your breath and cancels all plans for restraint. His tongue slid against mine, his hands all over me and the only thing I could do was respond with a little whimper.
And despite the tenderness between my legs, a tingly pressure found its way there, and I instinctively pushed against Roman, feeling him getting very hard against me. We were a few breathless seconds away from him pushing me down on the oak table and having his way. And me having mine.
But Roman didn’t. Instead he severed himself from me, cupped my cheeks and tilted my face up to his. “We’re not doing it here again.”
Indignation had to be written all over my face, my voice a low, shocked rasp. “What do you mean? You can’t send me out there like this!”
He curbed a laugh. “Like what?”
“All hot and bothered.”
“Well, why don’t you stay here tonight?” he suggested cunningly. “I’ll be done earlier than expected. We could have dinner—”
I interrupted him before he got lost charging down Crazy Lane. “I don’t think so. Seriously, you know I can’t.”
Roman was undeterred. “You can’t or you won’t, my sweet?”
My exasperation made no impression on him, and once again that delicious mouth of his curled into a taunting smile. “Goddamnit, Roman. So you basically lured me in here to seduce me into staying at Belmont Manor tonight when you know very well how I feel about that.”
“You’re using words like “lured” and “seduce” when all I did was show you how much I’ve missed you. And also to thank you for those delicious pastries this morning.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Pain au chocolat. They are basically croissants with chocolate. The perfect bite for breakfast.”
“Well, I think that should go on the Belmont Hotel breakfast menu too, don’t you?”
“Let me deal with the dessert menu first. Currently your guests have paltry choices, and for the outrageous money they pay to stay at your ritzy hotel that simply won’t do.”
“I like how businesslike you became in less than thirty seconds. It makes me want to put this 150-year old oak table to good use.”
“It’s never too late.”
Roman pulled me close to him again with that look of his, the one that ruthlessly chipped away at my resolve. “My time is up,” he said, hope twining around his words. “I have to get back to the office, but why don’t you stay tonight? I’ll make it worth your while.”
“Roman…”
He smothered my objection with a swift, all-consuming kiss before heading for the door. “Promise me you’ll at least think about it. Until later, honey badger. Text me anytime.”
Then he was gone, leaving me to grapple with the complicated decision as to whether or not to blow off my work ethic and broadcast to the entire household that I was dating the boss. Yes, I wanted to stay. I wanted to crawl into Roman’s bed tonight and wake up in his arms. Every day until the end of time.
But if anyone found out, and chances were excellent they would, then I ran the risk of the staff discreetly shunning me, and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. At the same time I realized that Roman’s social life had its limitations, and security-wise it would be nightmare for him to treat this like a normal dating relationship.
I looked up at the skylight as though the answers might be found there. All I needed was a little more time to figure out how to make it all work without the staff feeling weird about the whole thing.
Back in Henry’s room, we resumed our game of Clue, and of course he won. I blamed that on the conflict stirring inside me. Whether to give in to Roman and stay the night, or keep up the pretense for one more day.