12~ The Tears
Everyday, every night, my mind is occupied with her thoughts, my only solace is her, her smiling face but what could be worse than the fact that I can't confess, I can't say that I love her?
For her, we are just acquaintances!
Is it possible to love someone more than infinity?
Because I think I love her more than that.
She became my everything even before I knew what love was.
Her smile, her beautiful curly hair, the mole near her lips, the way she talks, the way she giggles when she is happy, the chime of her bangles, everything!
I sighed and took out my book. Can't I forget her?
Is it possible to unlove her? Is it possible to save myself from getting hurt by her rejection?
I can't even imagine how broken it will feel when she'll marry someone right in front of me, some other man.
I am not made for her, I guess. She deserves someone else, someone handsome, intelligent, loving, a rich man perhaps.
Why would she ever choose a boring person like me?
What do I even have? A simple Healthcare worker with a simple house, normal car, average income and a normal look.
Who would like to spend their whole life with me?
Shaking away all the thoughts, I flipped the pages of the thick textbook of Harrison and started reading.
Again and again my stupid brain reverted back to her thoughts, I couldn't concentrate for the first time.
Why does she have such an effect on me? Unknowingly, unwantedly she has conquered my heart, my brain, my entire system.
It's her intoxication that spreads inside my body.
She is an enchantress and I am a mere slave in her love.
God must have taken hours to craft a beautiful and enchanting woman like her.
I closed the book with a thud and laid on the bed, not able to do anything.
Frustration was all over my senses. Why doesn't my stupid heart listen?
She's not made for me. She'll find someone!
I can't have her by my side. Her yesterday's actions were enough to tell me that.
She herself said that she doesn't believes in love and marriages.
All she wants for herself is a successful life and some peace.
She believes that love and marriage only give pain.
I gazed at the ceiling and the fan rotating with my arms behind my head.
How did my life turn so boring? Wasn't it nice?
To my dismay, I didn't have much work today at the hospital.
I just went and came back and that bored me.
I am that kind of person who likes doing something the whole day.
This emptiness eats me. I love her so much that I can't even think of anything else.
I look at my right hand. She had tenderly touched my hand last week.
I saw a raw emotion flickering in her eyes but her words say otherwise.
I think I am imagining what I know isn't possible.
Why would she feel anything for me? For her, I am just her friend's brother.
When we were having tea together this evening, I wanted to tell her that I loved her but I stopped.
I don't know how she'll take me of as. I don't want to mess things up, we have started talking often and warming up with each other.
If I had told her that I have feelings for her, she would take me otherwise and stop talking to me.
I turned to sleep when I was disturbed by a call. With a sigh, I picked up my mobile phone and looked at the caller ID.
"Adhyay? Can you come to the hospital quickly?" Adrija asked and I sat up with worry. Did something happen to her? Did she get hurt? I scrambled out of the bed and looked at the time. It's late. Did she get into an accident?
"What happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere? Did you tell Yash?", I asked with worry.
"It's not about me, it's about Akriti!", she answered and my eyes widened. Akriti? What happened to her? I could hear my heart thumping loudly in my chest. Lubb dubb was all I heard at that moment. What happened to her? I quickly wore my slippers and started pacing around the room.
"Adhyay!! Are you listening? Please come fast. I don't know what to do. Dad is not picking up the phone ", she exclaimed and I stopped pacing around. Rushing towards my cupboard, I took out a shirt and trousers.
"I'm on my way. Just take care", I said and quickly changed into a shirt and trousers and took the keys of my car.
"Where are you going this late Adhi?", I heard my mother ask. I was just going to open the door. I turned and said," To hospital". Even though I was tempted to ask why she was awake at this hour of the night but I didn't, I couldn't afford to waste my time in questioning my mother.
She nodded and replied, "Okay take care". I smiled and rushed to my car. Thank God mom didn't ask much, all thanks to her being a doctor and understanding the situation.
I started the car and drove to the hospital with the maximum speed I can drive with.
I was terrified of what was waiting for me.
Bad thoughts were surrounding me. I was anxious, worried and scared.
My heart wasn't helping. I could totally hear the sound of my tricuspid and bicuspid valves closing loudly.
My heart beat was heightened to an extent that I almost feared having a heart attack.
As soon as I reached the Hospital, I ran inside. I called my sister to ask where they were in the big Hospital. She told me that they were in the VIP ward. I ran there like a mad dog earning very awkward looks from my juniors who were on duty. It's not daily you see me running like this right?
When I reached there, I was shocked to see Akriti crying and Adrija trying to console her.
It broke me. Akriti's eyes were puffy and her nose was running.
Her hair was scattered and her whole self looked very weak.
I have never seen her like this. She rarely smiles but she never cries in front of anyone.
She shows herself strong and independent but today it was the opposite.
I saw a heartbroken woman who just wanted someone to hug and console her.
She looked so worn out in contrast to our meet in the evening.
"I don't know what happened to her, Adrija! She was alright. It hurts to see her like this. I love her so damn much. Please do something", Akriti pleaded between her cries and it stung me in my heart. I can't see her like this, I want her to be happy. This crying doesn't suit my Akriti.
"What happened?", I asked, unable to see her crying. They both looked at me. Akriti's puffy eyes glanced into mine and she cried, "My mother, she fainted"
Her hands were shaking in terror as Adrija patted her back to console her. I gulped and asked, "Was she fasting today?"
She shook her head and said, "No, she ate proper food and I tucked her in bed myself. After some time I heard a sound and I ran to see what it was."
She sobbed, wiped her tears furiously and continued, "and I found her fainted in the kitchen."
She hugged Adrija and continued sobbing. Adrija helplessly looked at me and I asked, "Was she having headaches, bouts of vomiting, tiredness, virtigo, blurry vision and like that ?"
"I-I thought it was due to stress", she cried, her lips wobbling and I sighed. Maybe, it is what I am thinking. The symptoms are exactly the same. I hope we control it now or else it will be difficult for both Akriti and her mom.
"We will need to run a few tests and I fear that it's a brain tumour but there are chances that she might be alright.
It can be due to fatigue too"
I explained and her reaction was what I was scared of.
She sobbed more loudly, shattering my heart into tiny small pieces but I didn't know how to sugarcoat this for her.
It is what it is. I quickly asked my junior to run the tests and gathered the report.
Akriti was sure that it was nothing but things don't work like that.
I know it is painful but thankfully we were early at the stage.
I went inside the ward where her mother was admitted.
Looking at my colleagues, I discussed about the possibility of a brain tumour.
I believe it is the first stage and if we are successful in drafting a perfect treatment plan, we will be able to prevent the tumour to grow.
After her mother had regained consciousness, we ran a few tests and I even questioned her for the symptoms. It was exactly what I was fearing, a brain tumour.
"It is a brain tumour but it's just the first stage. We can try to decrease it by medications but if it doesn't, we would need to operate", I told Akriti as soon as I got the reports in my hand.
Her lips wobbled as she asked, "I-is she gonna die?"
I shook my head with a smile and forwarded her the MRI scan, saying, "Look it's just the starting, we might be able to cure it but you have to be extra careful with her diet and her health.
Today she fainted because of rise in intracranial pressure and the blood flow to the brain slowed.
As you said, she is having recurrent headaches, vomiting, wakes up confused, etc.
, they all are the symptoms of brain tumour".
She casted a confused look at me, not understanding a single word I said. I helplessly looked at Adrija who patted Akriti's shoulder and said, "Oh don't worry Akriti, he is saying that it is still in our hands. She will be fit and fine".
Akriti looked at me and I smiled with a nod.
She sniffed and wiped her tears saying, "Do whatever you deem right, just cure my mother.
I trust you". I smiled and nodded. For a doctor, the patient's trust is everything.
If the patient and the family doesn't trusts you, you can't do anything anyway.
They will always try to get in between your treatment.
The trust of the family encourages doctor to give his best and I will too, not because it's Akriti but because she trusts me with her most prized possession, her mom.
Akriti collected the reports of her mother and asked, "When will she get discharged?"
I looked at Adrija who blinked her eyes as I said, "Tomorrow, I'll keep her under observation in case something happens. We shall start with lighter doses of medicines first".