Prescriptions Of Love

42~ The Will To Live

"Here is your juice, mum", I said handing mumma the fresh orange juice I just made. She smiled and took the glass from my hands saying, "The roles have reversed. It used to be me preparing these things for you and now look how grown up my baby has become!"

Sitting down on the bed I said, "And I want to bring my childhood back. I hate growing up and doing things which I condemned earlier. Life had been so easy then".

She chuckled, patted my head and said, "But everyone has to grow. When you were a child you always complained about being small and not able to change the world. You always wanted to grow up".

"That was when I didn't know that I have to work to earn money and get married", I bitterly said, taking a sip of the orange juice.

My mother smiled, probably thinking about my younger self and said, "I was like you Akriti, a free bird with no care for the world.

I also despised growing up but when I had to leave my job, I felt as if my life became bland, I just wanted to go out even for five minutes. The bird was caged".

"And she became free when she fought for herself", I completed her sentence making her nod with a smile. She held my hands and said, "Akriti, changes always trouble but we have to embrace them and enjoy the time we have".

"But some changes hurt, like I don't want anyone to leave my life now, I don't want such a change", I said, not able to meet my mumma's gaze because I was talking about her. I don't want anything to happen to her tomorrow.

She cupped my cheek with a sigh and answered, "Akriti, everything happens for a reason and I know you are talking about me.

If it is what is destined for us, your crying won't change it.

And I want you to be the fighter that you always have been.

If something happens to me, promise me you would not cry and let me go. "

"H-how can I?", I asked with tears in my eyes. All these years she was the only family I ever had, she fulfilled the role of both mother and father, brought me up, gave me education, a house to live and my childhood.

"You have a family Akriti, you have your husband who loves you unconditionally and I know he would never betray you, I have seen it in his eyes. He will be there with you sweetheart even if I leave", she said and kissed my forehead while I sobbed.

"Akriti, all of this is temporary, everyone has to go one day and we can't waste our life grieving over them. Embracing death is a part of life, it hurts but one day you will have to move on and start your own family", she continued.

"And I want my daughter to live the life which I didn't have. I want you to enjoy your moments with your husband, have children, and write lots of books. Enjoy every moment because life is unpredictable", she said and wiped my tears. I nodded, that was the only thing I could do.

"If things go downhill tomorrow, I have a last wish", she said and I raised my head to meet her eyes.

She opened the side drawer that was placed near to the bed and took out a paper.

She smiled and gave that to me. It was an envelope, more precisely a letter.

I checked the address and raised my eyebrows.

Shimla, why is she handing me a letter that is to be delivered in Shimla?

I started to open the envelope when she held my hand and said, "You will understand when it's time".

"Why Shimla?", I asked and she smiled.

"You will know, for now, keep it safely and don't open it", she said and I hummed, still wondering what it must be. She never hides things from me and now this is confusing me even more. If it was that important then why did she not get it delivered? Why hand it to me?

"Akriti, go and sleep", she ordered as she laid down on the bed. I nodded and helped her open the quilt. When I was sure that she was asleep, I returned to my old room which was still the same, not even a single thing had been displaced from its position.

I traced my fingers on the envelope, tempted to open it and quench my curiosity but my mother's words resonated in my head which prevented me from opening it. Giving up, I kept the envelope safely in my handbag and sighed.

The only thought that swirled in my brain was the envelope and the secret letter inside it. Shimla was the address but who lives in Shimla and why does my mother want to send him or her a letter. The more complicated question is why did she give the letter to me instead of posting it herself.

She wants me to visit Shimla and give this letter to the recipient myself but why? Whom is she sending a letter to and how is the person related to her?

I stood again to read the letter but this time, my phone troubled me.

I saw the caller ID which was none other than my husband.

These three days we didn't call each other much.

He was always busy after the wedding functions.

Yesterday when he called, he said that they have started the construction of his new hospital and maybe that was what was keeping him occupied.

"Were you asleep?", his first question made me smile. Unlike normal days, he seemed tired and drowsy.

"No, you okay?", I asked, concerned about his health. He takes care of everyone except himself. I often wonder how he is so selfless, he never thinks about himself and always does things to make everyone around him comfortable.

"I guess so, I haven't had an ounce of sleep since yesterday", he replied with a yawn.

"Why don't you go home and rest?", I asked. I knew he was still in the hospital because I could hear noises from the background and sirens of ambulances.

"I have one surgery to perform", he said and I sighed.

"How many surgeries did you do today?" I asked.

"Four, and this is the fifth one. But I don't complain, I had a nice vacation too", he said, justifying how he was tiring himself. I can't understand him!

"Adhyay, you need rest and a drowsy doctor is harmful for patients as well.

After you are done with this surgery, you are going back home and sleep", I sternly said.

He doesn't know that we all, including me, are dependent on him for emotional support.

If he falls ill which he did a few days back, all of us shatter. He is the backbone of our family.

"As you say. Do you mind if I come over?" He asked.

"Of course not! I will be more than glad, complete your surgery quickly!", I exclaimed, eager to see him. It has been only three days but I crave for his presence, his sweet words soothe me and give me the strength to endure all of what is going on in my life.

"It will take two hours and it is ten. I will get late, you sleep", he said, cancelling the plan.

"No no, I will be awake, go", I screamed, not wanting to miss the chance to have my husband at my home. I don't know what happened to me but this is for sure that if I don't meet him, I will get mad.

He chuckled and replied, "Okay, see you. If possible, save some dinner for me. I am starving". He disconnected the call, giving me a mission to check if we had some food left at home.

He shouldn't think that I am a miser who couldn't even save food for her husband.

The problem is that the maid prepared the diet he himself told my mother to follow and I ate the same because I was in no mood to make something for myself.

I have been eating the same boiled vegetables for three days along with freshly prepared orange juice.

But I don't think that after having such a busy day, he would like to have boiled broccoli or corn and I don't want to feed him that either. The only thing I know to cook is Maggi or pasta which he won't like. I left with no choice but to feed him the nasty boiled vegetables.

Right now, I want to curse my younger self for not learning to cook anything despite my mom's futile attempts to explain how important a healthy meal is and everyone irrespective of their gender should know how to cook.

I always thought it was a waste of time but now I think I need to learn to cook.

His parents are understanding or else in-laws create a drama on this issue. I was bewildered when his mom said that she will give me ideas to trouble my husband, which mom does that? I sometimes think that the whole family is nuts but that is what makes them more lovable.

Each one of them is understanding and instead of taking decisions in haste, they think about it and discuss it. Even the twins, they are comical but when someone needs help, they won't step back. The whole family is a treasure and I don't fit between them.

With a sigh, I took out the packet of pasta and boiled them.

I have no choice but to feed him unhealthy pasta.

I don't know how he will react seeing that I cooked this for him but he will be disappointed for sure.

He is used to eating delicious curry with a soft chapati and a nice desert, while I always ate vegetables cooked in haste.

My mother did cook tasty food when I was young but that was very rare.

She was always busy with her school work, she took extra classes to earn some more money to support my education.

And amid all of this, she never had the time to cook such heavy meals.

We always ate simple boiled vegetables with rice or chapatis.

His life and my life have been contrasting.

He had a family, a huge one with lots of money and resources.

It's not like he is a spoiled brat but he had a better childhood.

On the contrary I had a tough childhood, we didn't have much money to buy ourselves luxuries.

The money my mother earnt could only support my education and monthly expenses.

I was taught to save even a single rupee while he had the freedom to spend it as per he desired. He has a huge house while we lived in a rental one with only two rooms and a small kitchen.

I wiped my tears as I chopped the onions perfectly. I poured water into the pan and boiled the pasta, making sure that they were cooked perfectly. After that I prepared the sauce and then added pasta into it.

I was almost done with my pasta when I heard the bell ring. It was him, I realised. In hurry, I crashed with the sofa and then the dining table as I rushed towards the door. The bell rang twice, which made it clear that I took a lot of time to open the gate.

I tried to find the key and then finally opened the door to be met with the sight of my husband.

His tie was misplaced and his hair popped in every direction.

I hastily took the coat from his hands and gave him a way inside.

He passed me a tired smile and sat on the sofa, trying to make himself comfortable.

I glanced at the wall clock and stated, "You said it will take two hours and it is not even an hour".

"Hmm, the surgery got cancelled", he said, closing his eyes. He threw his shoes and then kept his long legs on the table with his arms crossed behind his head. I pursed my lips and asked, "Why?"

"The patient's family took him to some other hospital, they said we were charging a lot of money", he said disapprovingly.

I shook my head and replied, "That's not fair, they have all the money in the world to fulfil their stupid wishes but no money to give to doctors. How are doctors supposed to live then? If every treatment gets free of cost, how will doctors survive? Will these people pay for their needs ?"

He chuckled, opening his eyes and replied, "Population Akriti , population.

There are doctors in every corner of the city and people tend to choose.

The one who charges less gets the patients.

No matter how bad the treatment is, people will go there.

While I focus on quality, others focus on quantity".

"Same is with books, there are millions of books in market, and people don't want to buy a book which gives them values, they want those dirty, bad books which fuel their bad intentions", I said, getting reminded how an interviewer mocked me for not writing mature romance books which are out of syllabus for me.

"Correct, everything works that way", he added.

"Leave it, I'll serve you dinner", I said, standing up from my position. He nodded and asked, "You had dinner?"

"I did", I replied and went to the kitchen to bring my not so tasty pasta which did look nice but I dunno about the taste. I grabbed a plate and a fork in my other hand, trying to balance the pan and the plate together.

With much difficulty I kept the pan on the dining table along with the plate and the fork. He drew himself a chair and took the spatula to serve himself.

"You had pasta? And your mom?", he asked with a scrutinised gaze.

"No no, I made this just now for you", I said. He casted an unbelievable look at me and removed his spectacles.

"Okay, want some?", he asked forwarding the plate and I shook my head. I took a seat in front of him and replied, "No, I am not hungry".

He nodded and placed the plate in front of me. By his expressions, I could make out that he was thinking about eating it and hence doubting my dish. I don't blame him, I told that I don't know how to cook. And I even told him about my disastrous cooking experiences.

He slowly brought the fork to his mouth and gulped it. My heart beat escalated as I waited for his response to my not so good cooking.

"It's delicious, are you sure you don't want to have it?", he asked and my hand went to my mouth. He liked it!

"Is it really edible?" I questioned and he nodded.

"Yep, it's tasty", he said, taking another bite of it. I peeked into the pan to see if some pasta was left but there was none. I sighed and sat there waiting for him to finish.

"Bring a fork", he said, looking at me which indeed made me feel dejected.

Isn't he going to feed me with his hands?

I grimaced and stood up unwantedly. What happened to the loving Adhyay?

He got tired in three days? I took him as a lovey dovey husband but now he is acting like we just got married because of my mother.

Well, technically we did but I also love him, right?

I bought a fork and stood there again like a fool. It is weird, very weird.

"Akriti, plate?" He asked and that was it.

"Why? Aren't you my husband, what's wrong if I eat in your plate?", I blurted and saw his eyes getting widened. I regretted what I said but I stood firm on my ground. Technically I didn't say anything wrong.

"Well, the reason is that I might have infections which you will acquire too. There is no other reason", he said with a slight smirk and amusement in his eyes.

"Oh, okay", I said with embarrassment. Why do I keep doing things which I shouldn't?

We ate in silence because I didn't have the guts to say anything in front of him which may embarrass me. He had a constant smirk plastered on his face and he glanced at me from time to time. In short, we were having a Cold War.

He wiped his mouth with his handkerchief and teased, "Next time, we will eat from one plate. It will save my money".

My cheeks started getting warmer as I looked down, not able to say anything.

"I have a better idea, let's start sharing everything, we will eat from one plate, yes?", he teased further making me more embarrassed.

"Oh shut up Adhyay, should I call mom?", I finally roared back but instead of getting scared, he only smirked and stood up.

"Do it, I am not scared and I will tell her that it was you who wanted to share things with me", he stated with a triumphant look on his face.

I stomped my foot and took the plates along with the pan to the kitchen. Turning on the tap, I washed them and kept them back in the shelves but I felt his burning gaze on me throughout. He thinks he is the wittiest of all, but I will take my revenge.

"What?", I asked turning to face him. He shook his head with a smile and said, "You look cute when you get angry"

"No I don't", I argued. He stepped towards me and said, "You do".

"No"

"Yes"

"Adhyay no"

"Akriti yes"

I didn't realise that now he was just a few inches away from me. I stepped back but found myself standing by the support of the kitchen slab. He smirked and stepped closer, leaving no space for me to move.

Slowly, his hand came to rest on my waist which made me gulp. He leaned and leaned until his breath fanned on my lips and with the thumb of his right hand he traced circles on my waist which sent a tingling sensation to the lower part of my body.

He brought his left hand and softly caressed my cheek with the pad of his thumb, whispering, "You. Are. Cute".

I gritted, "I.Am. Not. Cute".

He leaned closer and said, "Let's share a kiss, we didn't get to kiss that day".

I tried to push him away despite my heart screaming to pull him and indulge in a ferocious kiss with him. He held my hands and whispered, "Say yes".

"A-Adhyay", I stammered, finding it difficult to breathe.

"Please", he begged with urgency in his voice as if he would die if we don't kiss now. I nodded and kept my hands on his broad shoulders.

He leaned in and joined our lips together. My husband took my first kiss and he is the only one to touch me like this. He pulled me into himself and left my lips.

"Kiss me back", he pleaded. He again leaned in and this time I reciprocated his actions, knowing that we were each other's first and will be the last. The kiss grew passionate as our tongues clashed together.

His hand lingered on my back as he tried to pull me impossibly closer to him while mine clutched his soft silky hair.

I pulled away as I started getting breathless and he looked at me like a predator looks at its prey. I knew he was aroused but at the same time, I knew I couldn't do it, not today at least. Tomorrow is my mother's surgery and I don't want to get distracted and forget about my mom.

"Go to sleep", he commanded breathlessly.

I shook my head and asked, pointing at his crotch , "What about your little problem?"

"I will see, but if you remain here, I will definitely go wild", he said and I bit my lips to try to not smile. I love that only I am the reason for this, only I get to kiss him and touch him.

With a nod, I entered my room and he remained outside, trying to control his surging hormones.

It is still a shock to me that he never did it with anyone, which man saves himself for his wife these days?

People these days have multiple relationships and he saved himself for me, that is unbelievable.

The clock ticked as I waited for him. I don't know what he is doing in the living room, probably he is asleep by now.

I tiptoed and opened the door, only to find him on a call.

I sighed and when he saw me, I actioned him to sleep.

He nodded and pointed at his phone. I waited for five minutes and then he disconnected the call.

"Why aren't you asleep?" He asked with a worry laced voice.

"I was waiting for you", I stated and guided him to my room. I heard him sigh as I laid down on the bed. I saw him removing his misplaced tie and then his belt. He kept them neatly on the bedside table along with his spectacles which were stuffed in the pocket of his shirt.

He joined me and I shifted to give him space. We both looked at the ceiling and then I said, "I am worried for tomorrow".

He shifted closer and guided me to put my head on his chest.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine", he assured me and I looked in his eyes.

"What if it doesn't?"

"Akriti , you are thinking too much. The procedure is simple and a very experienced doctor will do the surgery, your mom is in safe hands", he said.

"Maybe I am thinking too much but why shouldn't I?", I asked, my eyes brimming with tears. He sighed and kissed my forehead, running his slender fingers in my hair.

"In my whole career, I have seen a lot of complicated cases and even the simplest ones. And you know what, even the most complicated cases turn successful only of the patient has the will to fight and live. And the simplest of cases go downhill if the patient doesn't want to live", he said.

"The whole thing depends on the person, if he wants to live, he will and if he doesn't wants to, we can never save him", he added.

"And your mother wants to live. We will try our best Akriti, I promise".

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