Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The sun was on its way back down by the time Alex pulled up to the Rush house. He parked the SUV, popping his usual dose of Motrin, hoping it would help ease his dull headache.
He got out of the car and walked up the landscaped path to the front porch. He knocked, unsure of what he would do or say.
Alex glanced around the lush neighborhood. The town was nestled away, untouched by the violence and crime of nearby Oakland.
When no one answered, he knocked again. A moment later, Mikael opened the door and peered out at him. Every time Alex saw the man, it didn’t get easier to admit he wasn’t ready to face his fear.
“Yes?” Mikael asked.
“Sir.” Alex swallowed back his nerves. “Is Scarlet here?”
The man hesitated, keeping the door as close to him as possible. “I don’t think she wants to see anyone right now. She’s confused. She feels alienated by you, and I don’t need Edward sending you here to fetch her.”
“Sir, I—” Alex closed his eyes, pushing back the intruding memories. He didn’t know what to say to the man. A man for whom he felt both contempt for and extreme guilt. He supposed he should thank some higher power the man even regarded him.
“I’m here because I screwed up. I was hired to protect your daughter. I didn’t count on having such strong feelings for her. I owe her an explanation. I want to make it right.”
Mikael carefully looked him up and down. “I think it’s too late for any of that.”
“Please just let me talk to her,” Alex insisted.
There was a long silence as Mikael stared him down.
Scarlet’s voice rose from the doorway. “It’s fine, Dad.”
Alex looked beyond Mikael to Scarlet. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but he only succeeded in taking a quick breath. She opened the door farther, listening to the conversation.
“I want to hear what he has to say.”
Alex’s heart skipped when she locked her attention on him. He was brought right back to the hospital room where he first laid eyes on her.
“I’m…” Alex’s throat closed. With both Scarlet and Mikael staring at him, waiting for him to speak, he couldn’t find the words to say.
Edward said he should tell her how he felt. It was time. He was tired of the regret. If he let Scarlet go, it would be worse than any nightmare he’d endured over the past three years.
Scarlet blinked a few times uncrossing her arms. She gently pulled her father back, ushering him away from the door. She stepped outside, closing the door behind her.
“You have five minutes.” She frowned. She kept her attention to the front yard, sporadically looking his way.
“I can’t begin to apologize for my behavior.” Alex stepped closer to her. “I know I lost your trust, but I want to gain it back.”
Scarlet frowned, leaning away from him.
Alex thought fast. “Give me more than five minutes. Let’s sit down and talk. No dance studios, no pressure … no distractions. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
Scarlet’s face relaxed and she dropped her arms to her sides.
“Unless you’re busy,” Alex shrugged.
Scarlet nodded.
“Fine.” She stepped around him, sitting down on the top porch step.
“Sit,” she ordered, gesturing to the space next to her.
Alex took a deep breath, doing as he was told, looking out into the peaceful afternoon. The air smelled of fresh-cut grass, and the quiet streets were shaded by London Planetrees. Two laughing children ran down the road with an leashed dog happily jogging after them.
“Did you read the article?” he asked.
“I don’t need to,” Scarlet said. “Barry said enough last night.”
Alex leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “I’m sorry you had to find out like that.”
Scarlet was close enough for him to touch, but he kept his hands firmly in place. Her breathing elevated, and Alex knew she was trying not to cry.
“My dad told me it wasn’t your fault,” she said. “That you tried…”
Alex squeezed his fists tight. “I don’t know why, but I promised Charles Pace I’d get his daughter to safety. I thought I could…” He stopped, taking in a few breaths to calm himself down. He could smell a hint of rain in the air mixing with the other pleasant scents.
“Were…” Scarlet paused, taking a deep breath. “Were you with her when she died?”
He looked over to her and nodded.
“Yes.”
Scarlet returned his nod in understanding.
“I want to know,” Scarlet urged quietly. “No one would give me details. I wanted to know if she was scared at the end, or brave. If she knew it was coming…”
Alex hesitated, deciding what to say. It wouldn’t do Scarlet any good to hear the gritty details.
He went over the events that plagued his mind.
“It was a mess of a situation. My coms tech and I were sweeping for any stragglers while we looked for Lena. He was a younger kid, named Spencer Reyes. We neutralized some hostages and Lena was with them. Then there was an explosion and Spencer…”
Alex closed his eyes as his emotions surged.
“Spencer was killed in front of us, and Lena naturally became frightened and panicked.”
Alex paused. Thinking about the ordeal was one thing. Saying it out loud was another. It was like the words physically hurt to pass his lips.
“To keep her calm, I asked her where she’d rather be if she could be anywhere. She told me about some bakery in Paris.”
He glanced over at Scarlet, seeing a faint smile.
“Ladurée,” she nodded. “They have great macarons. Our parents took us to Paris as a high school graduation present. She used to drag me to that shop every day. Lena loved baked goods.”
Scarlet’s gaze lowered and her smile faded. “Then what happened?”
Alex looked back out to the front yard, focusing on the tall orange and red iris that lined the front walk. They looked like little fireworks dancing in the breeze.
“The confusion and shock delayed my thinking,” he said. “I was slow to figure a way out. I honestly thought the worst was over. Lena and I made it to a stairwell. The second missile hit, and I don’t remember anything after that.”
Tears pooled in Alex’s eyes. “I woke up a month later in a German hospital. Lance and my mother were by my side. Once I was coherent, they told me that Lance found us together under the rubble, pulled us out, and stabilized me, but Lena was already dead.”
Alex ran a hand up the length of his opposite arm, tracing some jagged tracks on his skin that looked like faded lightening. His words were slow and deliberate. “I hide the scars well. Maybe it’s a metaphor.”
Scarlet reached out, placing a hand on Alex’s knee, letting her tears fall as well. “I’m so sorry.”
Alex closed his eyes for a moment and took in a series of breaths. “Everyone told me I was lucky, but it didn’t feel that way.”
He lifted his shirt to reveal more scar tissue that snaked from his lower abdomen up to the side of his chest under his arm, and around to his back. Scarlet looked at it with a mixture of growing fascination and sadness.
“Wow,” she breathed. She hesitated before reaching out to touch his skin. Her gentle touch sent a charged shiver of hope down his spine.
“Few surgeries to save my kidney and liver, fix nerve damage, and more than a year of physical therapy with Lance yelling at me to not give up,” he said, pulling his shirt down. “All while having to look Charles Pace in the eye in a courtroom and tell him what happened.”
Scarlet’s hand rested on his leg, and she squeezed as it to reassure him.
He clasped his hands together, letting out a pained laugh. “I realized then that it doesn’t matter how many people you save. It’s the ones you can’t who stay with you.”
Scarlet moved her hand up to his shoulder, gently turning him toward her.
“And I’m sorry every day,” he choked. “She haunts my dreams, and her face makes it so hard to just move on with my life … I only knew her for a few minutes, and I failed her. I failed her family. I failed you before I even met you.”
Scarlet studied his face, letting her brow crease in thought.
“Is that why you took the job?” She asked.
He took Scarlet’s hands in his own, then reached up to touch her cheek. “Edward called me that night you were attacked. When he told me who your father was, I immediately told him no, but then I saw you. I felt this immediate connection.”
He swallowed hard, willing himself to continue. “I didn’t know who Lena was to you. Last week, when I saw that picture of her in your room, I realized you were friends. The guilt came back, knowing my decisions under pressure were what failed. I could have saved her...”
His heart thud faster as Scarlet brought her face closer to his. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened.” She shook her head. “I’m sure Lena doesn’t.”
Alex winced, touching his forehead to hers. “I thought that if I saved you, maybe I’d fix myself, but that’s…”
Scarlet smiled at him. “I don’t need saving, Alex.” She ran a hand down his jaw, and kissed him. He felt the tears that traveled down her cheeks. He never wanted to be the reason she cried. He pulled back a little, looking deeply into her eyes.
“Maybe I do,” he breathed.
Alex pushed his lips onto Scarlet’s as his pulse pounded in his ears. There was so much clarity in that moment. Alex knew he was falling in love. There was no going back.
Alex closed his arms around her, and she melted into his embrace. They sat there; tangled in the lasting kiss as if letting each other go wasn’t an option.
As night fell and the fog settled in, Alex found himself faced with a big decision.
Stay or go.
Scarlet invited Alex to stay for dinner. He accepted, not wanting to go back to the city.
Elena cooked a large dinner, and set a private table for Scarlet and Alex on the back porch complete with tiki torch lighting.
They talked well into the evening. The hard part was over.
Alex didn’t need to bring up the article, or the visit with Detective Jackson—it was as if they were two people on a first date with no cares in the world.
“Your mom can make a mean lamb chop,” he told her. “I’m one of those meat-and-potatoes, manly men … who didn’t cry in front of you earlier.”