4. Dev
four
dev
Five Schlongs Hen Party
Hudson Case
Got a full frontal of Dev’s new haircut after the shareholders’ meeting today.
[Image attachment: New Line of Chia Pets Available While Supplies Last]
Dean Meyer
Dude. @Dev Menon, what the fuck happened to your hair? It looks like the before picture in a Rogaine commercial.
Darian Meyer
Jesus. Not trying to bust your balls, man, but the heavy metal ship might have sailed.
Garrett Meyer
Oh, fuck! I’m totally using this for the face of the scarecrow I put in the front yard during Halloween!
Hudson Case
I was practically howling from laughter.
Dev Menon
Assholes.
@Hudson Case, this was the work of your so-called incredible hairdresser. I fucking look like the love child of Chewbacca and a topiary!
Garrett Meyer
[Ryan Gosling covering mouth laughing GIF]
Hudson Case
What? Piper is a top-notch stylist. It’s why my hair always looks so good. Brings people to tears.
Dean Meyer
Pretty sure it’s your ‘sunny’ personality that brings people to tears.
Hudson Case
[middle finger emoji]
@Dev Menon, how bad did you piss her off?
Dev Menon
I didn’t do shit. Not even when she prattled on about her crazy sex life like fucking Jabberjaw Joe.
Garrett Meyer
Someone sounds jealous.
Dean Meyer
I would be too if I was doing the right-handed prayer every night.
Dev Menon
And her hairless cat was into me.
Hudson Case
With that haircut, I don’t doubt it.
Dean Meyer
Dude! Have some respect for the fact that the rest of us are married and can’t be talking about other women’s hairless . . . kitties!
Darian Meyer
This conversation just got really weird, and I’m worried Rani is going to think we’re talking about hairless cats .
Dev Menon
We are talking about hairless cats. Piper has a hairless cat that jumped into my lap and practically begged me to pet it.
Dean Meyer
This sounds like the premise of a really bad porno.
[ Darian Meyer has left the chat]
[ Dean Meyer has added Darian Meyer to the chat]
Garrett Meyer
@Dev Menon, are you sure you didn’t accidentally go to a strip club?
Is it me or does it sound like he kinda liked it? And her .
Dean Meyer
I think we can safely assume Dev’s into hairless kitties.
Hudson Case
Who isn’t?
[ Dean Meyer changed the group name to Hairless Kitty Lovers Anonymous ]
[ Darian Meyer has left the chat]
[ Dean Meyer has added Darian Meyer to the chat]
Garrett Meyer
He is being rather quiet all of a sudden. I’m taking silence as agreement.
Dev Menon
I’m quiet because I’m regretting the day I met you idiots at Hudson’s daughter’s wedding. And of the eight billion people in the world, fate decided you were going to be my best friends.
[ Dev Menon changed the group name to Five Schlongs Hen Party ]
Dean Meyer
Anyone else notice how he tried to distract us with that sappy speech and dodge admitting the truth? He totally likes this hairless chick.
[ Dev Menon has left the chat]