Chapter 6 #3
“I do. I didn’t see enough of your older home to get the lay of it, and I don’t care about that place.
But this one? This one’s for you and the girls.
” He gestured towards Violet and Hazel’s drawings on the fridge and smiled.
“I was expecting them to be here.” He pulled out a few snacks for the girls, and my heart did that jumping thing that was brand new to me.
“They’re on a play date.”
“And you’re stressing out about it?”
“Yes. Because they’re growing up, and well—”
“Your brothers and I will not let that man hurt them.”
“I know. But he’s sneaky.”
“I’m sneakier.” He pushed my hair behind my ear and smiled. “I won’t ask what else he took from you, because that’s not my place, but part of me wants to know.”
Cale had taken so much, nameless things that I couldn’t speak of, but maybe I could say a few things. Ones that bothered me. Ones that I tried not to think about.
“He tried to take my studio.”
He tilted his head. “He did what?”
“He tried to take everything from me that he could. Including the building that I owned.”
“Did he?”
“He took half of it.” Shame crawled over me. “I ended up giving it to him so he would stop fighting for custody. But he continues to come back, so I did it for nothing.”
“You fought for your girls, it’s not nothing. And I can buy the place from him. Force him to sell. Buy it for you.”
I chuckled at that, wondering what it must be like to even be able to say things along those lines. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” He trailed his thumb along my jaw, over my lips, his other hand caressing my side.
I swallowed hard, need pooling deep within me.
But I wasn’t good at this. I hadn’t been, not since…
Well, not since. And how was I supposed to tell him that even though he could touch me, I wouldn’t be able to feel it.
Not where it mattered. Because focusing on a man with whom I could orgasm felt as if I were leaping off the tallest bridge, and it would never be enough.
But I couldn’t put that out there. Not when touching myself took hours.
Just to get out of my own head. So no, I didn’t say those words. Not yet.
“I want you.”
My heart squeezed. “And you always get what you want?” I asked, knowing the answer.
“Yes. I do.”
“You can’t have me,” I answered, speaking the truth. Because I could barely own my own heart at this point, my own soul. I had nothing left to give him.
His eyes darkened as he leaned down and brushed his lips along mine. My toes curled, and I let out a sigh against his skin.
“I don’t want your heart, Sophia. I don’t know what to do with that. But I want you.”
The raw honesty of his answer shattered me.
But not the parts of me that had been broken before, no, a new sense of me that I didn’t want to think about too harshly.
And maybe his honesty was exactly what I needed.
Because I had no heart to give. Everything I held within me kept me alive and kept me here for my girls.
I couldn’t give him everything, but maybe I could give him what he wanted.
What I wanted to want.
“Okay,” I said, surprising me.
And from the way his eyes widened ever so slightly, I had surprised him too.
And then his mouth was on mine, deepening the kiss. He squeezed my hip, and I wrapped my arms around him, arching for him. I could barely breathe, could barely focus, it was all on him.
And when he pulled away, his hand cupping me along my side, his forehead resting on mine, he smiled. That smile that did things to me, that made me wet, that made me want.
That smile was beyond dangerous.
“Tomorrow?” he asked.
I frowned. “Tomorrow?”
“You have to pick up your girls, and I have to meet your brother, preferably without a hard-on.” He laughed, and I looked down between us, my eyes widening.
The way that his cock pressed against his pants should worry me.
Because just the idea of his size, well, I would be thinking about that for a long time.
“Eyes up here, Sophia,” he ordered.
I looked up at him then, my cheeks blushing.
He ran his thumb along my lips. “I want you to look at me. Always. But we don’t have time for what we need right now. So tomorrow? Can I have you?”
“I have the girls.”
“When do they go to bed?” he asked.
“Oh. Well. Early.” What was I saying? What was I doing?
“I’ll see you tomorrow. I want to feed you. And then I want to taste you.”
I blushed, my face heating.
“Should I say okay to that?”
“Say yes. Say you want me.”
“You know I want you, Carson.”
“Good.” He kissed me again, slowly at first, then deeper.
“Tomorrow. Lock up behind me, Sophia. I need you safe.”
I followed him in a dream, his hand on mine, and then with one final kiss he was gone, leaving me standing there, gently locking the door behind him, wondering what the hell I was doing.
I had just consented to sex. Tomorrow. In my house. And yet, I didn’t think it was a mistake. At least not in this moment. Later, later I could worry.
It was something I was becoming far too accustomed to, after all. That…and pretending.