7. Cedrick
Ihead back into my father”s room once I see Ellie out the palace. My head sways back and forth to recalibrate as I walk up the grand staircase. I’m imagining Ellie making her way back to wherever she’s staying, and I could have spent all day talking to her.
Which is not common.
My father gives a wave once I’m in his chamber. “That wasn”t so bad after all, now was it?”
I heave myself back into the loveseat near his bed, in the same spot she had occupied less than ten minutes ago. I lean forward and steeple my fingers.
“Could have gone worse. But that was quite unexpected. Summoning me back and springing this woman on me after I’ve already said I’m not interested.”
He holds up a palm.
“I only want to discuss calming topics. Nothing stressful. Remember that.” He positions himself against the pillows as if to find a comfy spot.
“I’ll try. But you know that’s not fair.”
“It’s not fair that I have to get old, but here we are. Where does the time go?”
I try to roll my eyes just to myself, but I don’t know if I’m pulling it off. I think about what to even say. I haven’t even sorted through my own thoughts. But I absolutely do not want to get married now, when I’m only in my twenties. That I know.
I open my eyes and look at my father. Why does he have to complicate everything? “I have a lot of concerns, Dad.”
“Such as?”
“I see her as a little sister. You know that.” I’ll see how believable it is, given how much her physical presence affected me. But I’m pretty good with poker faces. You have to be in medicine.
“Don”t be a child. People fall in love with their childhood playmates every day. I’m not buying it. Did you see her? She’s beautiful.”
“She’s fine.”
Dad gives a skeptical look.
“Look, she’s fairly attractive. But look, I’m not ready, and I don’t want to marry someone just to get funding for my charity. Or because my father has to control my life. No.”
“You”re overthinking everything. That”s the problem. It always is with you.”
“But, Father, look. You’ve done this with three of my brothers already. They’re all settled, one with a child, two more with babies on the way. Aren’t three well-married sons enough?”
“No.” He purses his lips. “If she’s the objection, what about someone else?”
I shrug. “I don’t think it would be any better. But I’ll humor you.”
“Why, thank you, my liege. Who else is suited for the role then, if not her? Who’s more… arousing?”
“Ew. Dad.”
“What? It’s important.”
She was pretty damn arousing. But I don’t know her. Are we even compatible? She seems pretty rigid, just-so. I don’t know.
“Let’s think of other candidates who might fit the bill better.”
“With my transient lifestyle? No. And I’m sure she wants a family.”
“She does indeed. I think that would be good for you, too, Cedrick.”
I get up and pace the room. “I don”t want to argue with you. I”d simply prefer to consider a few people. Playing board games with someone at age five does not mean you’ll have anything in common at age twenty-five.”
Dad props himself up on the pillows. “It sure sounded like you had a lot in common. I”m sure she”d find a way to fit a baby into that life.”
His determined expression only makes my brain hurt. I turn around and walk back to the seat. “Give me a break. It was just friendly chit-chat, nothing more. And a baby? You want me to have one right away?”
“I know she’s looking into options on her trip here. She told me.”
“She doesn’t have much discretion, does she? You want someone like that for a daughter-in-law?”
“If it means my son is married? Yes. I do.”
I walk over to the window and stare out through the netting. My hands dip into my pockets.
It”s been a long time since I”ve been romantically involved with anyone. Every once in a while I’ll go on a date. Sometimes I’ll have a little fling while I bounce from one city to another.
But the thought of staying with any one person? Even my childhood friend, even if she’s hot, feels suffocating. But I shuffle through other women who come to mind, and all of them come up short. That”s bound to happen when marrying anyone is not the course I want.
“Cedrick?”
I linger by the window ten seconds more then turn and sit back down.
“I just don”t think it”s fair to pull her into this. She might agree because of her loyalty to the crown and a sense of duty, but I highly doubt this is the right situation to bring a child into. I’m still getting used to the idea of a woman I’m responsible to. But a kid?”
“You make some good points. I can almost see where you”re coming from. But I”d like to counter your argument. Maybe her qualities and the fact that she wants to be a mother are exactly what you need. Maybe you don’t even know it. And maybe she would appreciate having a father who she knows is an excellent candidate instead of a stranger.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You’re suggesting…”
“However you want to do it. But it’s better than random refrigerators of who knows what sort of men. And your children would be beautiful. And then there’s the matter of World Clinic.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you marry her, I won’t just restore the funding. I will quintuple it. I will give it more money than it will ever be able to spend.”
My jaw drops. I’m enraged at the manipulation. But I also think about everything we could do with that money.
The King smiles. “You’re coming around to it. I can tell.”
“No. I’m not.” I don’t know if this is the truth or just my stubbornness talking.
“Think of World Clinic.”
There’s the trump card. Maybe the only reason I”m still here.
“Fine. I”ll think about it. But I can”t promise.”
“Good. That’s my boy.”
I wish him well, promise to check up on him later, and leave.
I drive back home in a snit. Of course, the right answer is to not entertain this crazy idea. But the money is hard to pass up. Every last patient and victim needs the funding from the crown. The last thing we need right now is to be cut off and scrambling for new funders.
And then there’s my attraction to her. I wish there weren’t any chemistry, because then it would be so easy not to give it another thought.
I can’t stop thinking about the way she looked in her skirt and flowy top. It was modest, but her curves were still on display, and they drove me wild.
Finally I turn off the light and fall onto the cool pillow ready for some rest. But eyes wide or shut, all I see is her.
“Why can’t I get this woman out of my head? Maybe Dad has a point.”
I toss and turn, unable to fall asleep. I keep seeing her image. But being married to her? By the same token, she’s keeping me up at night.
Besides, Dad said if I was really miserable, I could end things after a year. I think of the clients I help overseas and what they have to deal with in a year. Living with a beautiful woman who I’ve known for ages hardly seems comparable to anything they’ve suffered.
But just knowing that my problems are easier than others’ doesn’t mean they don’t exist. And I don’t know what’s the biggest problem – this decision, or getting the mental images of Ellie out of my thoughts.