26. Ellie
Iwalk through the aisles, browsing not only the shelves but the people as well. I miss being normal like them, going to the store whenever I want—going anywhere whenever I want.
I also miss being able to walk around the grocery store without feeling tempted to heave at any given moment from the smell.
Both could be problems that will resolve with time, though. And for all of the changes in my life, Cedrick should know that on the balance I’m so much more grateful for all he’s done for me than resentful.
I’m making him a filet mignon to thank him, with fresh vegetables and homemade bread. Simple but perfect.
“But, Mom, you said I could pick out a snack!”
A little girl tugs on her exhausted mom’s dress, pouting.
“Yes sweetie, I know. But you’re allergic to peanuts, so you can’t get that one.”
The little girl sobs, unable to understand. I can’t believe I’m smiling at the sight instead of looking on with dread, but something about it makes me eager to be a mom. I love the idea of having a daughter, even one who’s driving me crazy.
My smile lingers as I leave the aisle, heading towards the meat and seafood section. I’ve already picked up my butternut squash, fresh greens, and ingredients for bread. Now all I need is steak and herbs.
Everything else I’m sure Cedrick already has in his kitchen.
I approach the meat section, examining the packages until I find a perfect size for each of us. Large for me, small for him. Thank God my morning sickness hasn’t reared its head today, even though I’ve thought it might a few times.
“Excuse me, Miss, would you like to try my samples today?”
My thoughts are interrupted by an elderly woman standing behind a cart with multiple types of cubed cheese on display. My mouth waters just looking at them.
“I’d love to,” I say, shooting her a smile. “How are you today?”
“Oh, I’m wonderful. Thank you for asking. Here, try these three, they’re my favorites.”
She hands me a tiny cup with three cubes in it. I take it from her and bring the cup to my nose to make sure it’s not going to make me sick. The lady gives me a peculiar look and I laugh, my hand going to my belly.
“Morning sickness.”
“Ahh, I know it well. Had it with all three of my girls.”
“Did it go away?”
“For the first one, not until the very end. With the other two, it was much milder.”
“I hope it goes away soon.” I pop one of the cheeses into my mouth. “Oh! But this is delicious!”
“Here, take some more! I’m about to close up for the day, and I can only eat so much of it myself.”
“Thank you so much, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until now. Ooh, I’ll buy a few blocks of each, too.”
I put them into my cart, say goodbye, and hunt down the next aisle for the rosemary. Once I find it, I grab a little bit of thyme as well, holding it up to my nose and smelling it.
As I’m about to head up front towards the checkout, I feel like I’m missing something. I stop to think, looking around the store.
“Garlic!” I nearly shout.
I whip my cart around and head back the way I just came. The thought of it makes my stomach rumble. I don’t want to risk the chance of Cedrick being out.
Once I grab the garlic, I head back up to the front, practically whistling. I’m eager to show Cedrick how much I appreciate him with this dinner. It’s the perfect way to finally have the conversation I’ve been postponing for so long.
He didn’t do anything to deserve my treatment, and he needs to know that. But that’s not the big thing. Tonight, I need to tell him how I feel.
As I’m waiting in line, I spot the little girl and her mom once more. The girl has a giant sucker in her mouth and a huge smile on her face as she holds her mom’s hand. The mother looks content, wearing a matching smile and looking down at her daughter and the baby she’s carrying.
It gives me a feeling of hope, seeing this. Everything will be alright if I just give it time. Cedrick and I are good together. I hope he agrees, especially after the last few days. And if he doesn’t, we’ll deal with it.
I pay at the counter and grab my bags, about to walk out. I stop dead when I hear shouting behind me.
The elderly lady from the cheese cart is arguing with a tall man. He reaches out and pushes her forcefully. She lands on the ground, and I don’t even think. I immediately drop my bags and rush towards her.
“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?”
She groans, her hand reaching for her back. I whip my head toward the man, anger taking over me. My attitude with Cedrick seems like a spring day compared to the rage I feel right now.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Apologize to her!”
As soon as I say it, his eyes land on me, and I know I’ve made a mistake. He lunges, and before I can even react, he has me in his grasp. I scream, fear seizing all of my emotions.
He shakes me, his eyes appearing bloodshot as he opens his mouth and speaks. Spit flies out of his mouth and hits me in the face.
“Who do you think you are?” he shouts.
I can’t even open my mouth to say anything back. I feel completely frozen in fear as I realize how dangerous this situation might be. My thoughts instantly go to the unborn baby inside of me, and tears well up in my eyes.
“You’re not so tough now, are you?” the man asks, shaking me again, an evil grin spreading across his face.
His grip on me is so hard that I can feel his nails digging in.
I begin to struggle, thinking that maybe somehow I can get away, but this only makes him angrier. He lets go of my arms and wraps his hands around my throat instead.
My eyes widen as he tightens his hands around my neck, slowly constricting my airway.
“Please,” I try to say, but it barely comes out.
Around us, I hear people yelling and screaming for him to put me down, but one by one, those voices begin to slowly fade away. I stare at his dark brown eyes, feeling utterly defenseless.
This man is going to kill me. I’m going to die before I even get to tell Cedrick how much I love him.
Someone comes into my line of vision, and I shift my focus to see that it’s a guard. Several, actually.
“Let her go!”
“Drop her right now!”
Their voices fill the air, and I look to the man. I can see the fury in his eyes, but there’s something else there, too. Fear.
“Back away!” he shouts, gripping me tighter.
At this point, I can barely breathe at all. I try struggling, but this only makes it worse. My vision starts to blur around the edges, and a ringing sound begins in my ears.
Suddenly, he lets go of his hold on my neck, and for a moment, I actually think I’ve gotten lucky and that he’s going to leave me alone. But the feeling of relief is short-lived as he spins me around and crushes me against his chest.
I’m facing away from him, and I can see all of the guards and a small crowd of people gathered behind them. Their faces reflect the fear that I’m feeling inside.
One of the guards steps forward, and I see his eyes widening just as I feel the cold steel press against my temple.
A gun.
“Don’t get any closer!” my captor yells.
Even though he’s no longer constricting my airway, I feel like I can’t breathe again. I hold perfectly still and squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see what happens next, even though I know not seeing it won’t change anything.
“Please, let her go!”
As soon as I hear the voice, I’m sure that it’s a hallucination. It can’t be real, because how could he possibly be here?
But when I open my eyes, he is. It’s Cedrick, and he’s just a few feet away.