Chapter Thirty
Brooklyn
Craig is nice enough. He’s certainly attractive. The restaurant’s nice, but...he’s not Kip. All I can think about is Kip. I’m wondering what Kip would order if he were here. I’m thinking about what he’d wear. I’m thinking about the way the candlelight would dance off his eyes.
It’s not fair to poor Craig.
I’m trying so hard to focus on everything he’s saying, but my head is still pounding. This damn headache has lasted all week. No wonder - I’m hardly sleeping between thinking about Kip and waking up with nightmares, I’m exhausted.
I push my food around my plate while Craig talks about his parents. I’ve been asking him lots of questions. I’d prefer he’d talk instead of me right now.
“Aren’t you hungry?” he says.
I sigh and set my fork down. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I haven’t had an appetite all week. I’m fighting off some sort of bug I think. It’s just an occupational hazard.”
He gives me a little sad smile. “Teachers don’t get paid nearly enough for what they do.”
I laugh. “We really don’t. I don’t normally get sick anymore. My first year of teaching was terrible. It was just one virus after another. They’ve done a good job of building up my immune system though.”
“But something snuck through?”
“It seems that way. There’s a lot going around.” I stop and laugh. “There’s always a lot going around.”
He smiles at me. I feel guilty. I’m not ready to date.
I thought maybe I just needed to rip the Band-Aid off, but I’m not ready.
I'm wearing the dress Zadie loaned me. I’d never normally wear something like this, but she insisted.
I look good - really good, but I feel self-conscious, like I’m trying to show off too much, like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not.
“I’m going to run to the restroom for a moment,” Craig says as he pushes his chair back from the table.
As soon as he leaves, I rub my forehead. I feel so nauseous and hungry, but nothing sounds good. I take little sips of water, trying to settle my stomach. I consider asking the server to bring me a Sprite or Ginger Ale, but that feels tacky at a restaurant this nice.
I look up at a party that’s passing by and gasp. His eyes meet mine at the same time. He’s as surprised as I am. I push back my chair and stand up.
“Kip? What are you doing here?”
His eyes fall down from my face to my dress. Heat rises to my face, and I cross my arms over my chest. I really wish I was wearing anything else.
The rest of his party stops, and he says. “I’m in town for work.”
My stomach sinks a little. He didn’t call. He didn’t let me know he was coming. He’s flown 4,000 miles, and he can’t be bothered to let me know he’s in town.
“Brooklyn, this is my agent Bill Leery and my editor Jan Malloy. Bill, Jan, this is Brooklyn Sterling.”
I shake both of their hands.
“The President’s sister?” Bill asks.
“Yes. That’s my claim to fame,” I answer with a smile.
“I didn’t know you knew each other,” Jan says looking at Kip.
I’m not sure how to explain our relationship and then Kip says, “I went to Harvard with her brother, Will.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Jan says.
“Of course,” Bill adds.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” I say.
Kip turns to them and says, “I’ll catch up to you.”
We don’t say a word until they leave. There’s so much I want to say. There’s so much I wish he’d say.
“It’s good to see you,” he says.
“You too.”
Although, I’m not sure it is. It brings up a million emotions in me, and most of them are not positive.
“Brooklyn, I...”
“Oh hey, did you run into a friend?” Craig interrupts as he walks up. Oh shit, I completely forgot about Craig.
There’s a fire in Kip’s eyes now. He flicks his eyes to me, and there’s a flash of pain. He keeps his voice low and says, “Are you on a date?”
I don’t want to answer. I really don’t want to answer.
“Yes.” Craig is smiling brightly. “I’m a lucky guy, aren’t I?”
Kip looks like he’s about to murder Craig.
Craig is somehow completely oblivious to Kip’s outright hostility. He holds out his hand and says, “Craig, it’s nice to meet you.”
Kip grabs his hand. It looks like he’s trying to crush it more than shake it.
“Kip. Pleasure.”
“Well, we should get back to our food.” I nod over to the table. I notice Craig shakes out his hand just slightly when he pulls it back to his body. He might need to get an x-ray later.
“Of course, it was good to see you. Tell Will I said hello.” Kip just gives a little nod and turns and walks away.
I really have no appetite now. I try to keep my eyes on Craig, but they keep drifting to Kip’s table.
Jan and Bill are talking excitedly. Why is he here?
Is he writing again? After all this time?
They look awfully happy, so I imagine he’s working again.
Kip, however, does not look happy. I catch him glaring at Craig and nursing a whiskey for the rest of the meal.
Once we’re finished, Craig walks behind me out of the restaurant. He places his hand on my lower back as we make our way through a tight place. I feel like the entire restaurant is staring at his hand on my back, but in reality, there’s just one person staring. I can’t get out of here fast enough.
“I had a really nice time,” Craig says once we’re outside.
“It was nice.” I smile. “Thank you.”
“Can I call you?”
I hesitate.
“Oh.” He frowns.
“I’m so sorry.” I want to burst into tears right now. “It’s not you. You were lovely. I’ve had a lot going on in my life recently. I thought I was ready to date, but...I’m sorry.”
His posture stoops a little, and I feel like the biggest jerk in the world. After a moment, he stands up straight again and says, “Well, when you get into a better place, I’d love to try again.”
I give him a quick hug. “Thank you. You’re really so kind.”
He nods. “Do you want me to call you a car?”
“No. I actually have a car coming,” I lie.
His car pulls up. “Would you like me to stay until your car arrives?”
“That’s not necessary. Thank you again for a nice meal.”
He gives me another brief hug and then disappears into the car. I bend over at the waist once his car drives away. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. My head is spinning. I straighten back up and think about what I want to do next.
“Hey, did your date leave you?” I hear Kip call.
I shake my head and then lie, “He’s just getting the car.”
He walks up to me. His eyes fall to my dress again, and I’m cursing Zadie for making me borrow it.
“So you're dating, huh?”
“Kip...”
He holds his hands up in the surrender pose. “You can do whatever you want. Is it temporary with him too?”
I feel my face growing flushed.
“That’s what your dress is saying.”
My face reddens even more.
“Kip,” I gasp.
He steps closer to me. He reeks of whiskey. “He should be happy. You’ve dressed the part tonight.”
I feel like I might throw up.
“You can fuck whoever you want. It’s none of my business.”
My mouth is watering. I’m afraid I’m going to vomit on him.
“You’re right. It isn’t any of your business,” I hiss.
“Did you set all the rules with him like you did with me? Can’t go around breaking hearts left and right.”
“You’re being really cruel.”
He leans in closer and says with a low voice, “Will you bend over for him in the shower tonight? Take him in your mouth in the kitchen? Scream out his name when his head is buried between your thighs?”
It feels like he’s slapped me across the face. I rush over to the greenery and throw up. He just stands back on the sidewalk and watches me. When I finish, I wipe my mouth with my hand. I’m unsteady on my feet. I need to get out of here.
Kip’s face softens just slightly. He opens his mouth to say something.
“Just leave.” I point at the restaurant. “Return to your little meeting and leave me the hell alone.”
We both stare at each other for a moment, rage passing back and forth from each other’s eyes.
“Fine,” he grumbles.
I don’t say a word and just watch him walk back into the restaurant. As soon as he’s gone, I burst into tears.