Chapter Thirty-Two
Brooklyn
“Do we knock?” I whisper. Declan and I are standing outside of Will and Liv’s place. We’re all taking shifts meeting the babies, so we don’t overwhelm anyone.
“Let me just text Will.” Declan pulls out his phone. Will opens the door a minute later, Ansley sleeping in his arms.
“Liv is taking a nap.” He nods for us to enter.
“We brought food.” I hold up a few bags. He motions for me to follow him into the kitchen where Declan and I start unloading everything.
“There’s some premade breakfast sandwiches, cut up fruit, a veggie tray, chicken salad, and a big pot of potato soup.”
“And snickerdoodles.” Declan holds up a bag.
“Brookie! You made me snickerdoodles? Those are my favorite.” A big smile spread across Will’s face.
“I know.” I smile back at him. He looks exhausted. His hair is ruffled. He hasn’t shaved in days. He normally looks like he stepped out of a cologne ad 24/7, but he’s wearing sweats that look rumpled and a bit dirty.
“Is that spit-up on your shirt?” Declan asks.
“I hope so. The alternative is worse,” Will laughs and shakes his head. I’ve never seen him look happier. His eyes sparkle. “Wanna hold her?”
“We’d love to. Let’s just wash our hands.”
Declan and I take turns washing our hands and then follow Will into the living room.
“Let me get some pictures first.” I pull out my phone and take a few pictures of Will and Declan with Ansley. “Declan, why don’t you hold her first, so I can take some pictures of you?”
Will hands Declan over. I snap a picture. “You’re a natural.”
Declan sits down on the couch, and Will and I follow.
“Are you getting any sleep?” I ask, looking at Will. He runs his hands through his hair.
“Not really. What day is it?”
“Tuesday.”
“No shit.” He shakes his head. “I’m in the Twilight Zone over here. I couldn’t tell if a day has past or a month.”
“You look happy,” Declan says, he’s looking down at Ansley.
“I am.”
“How’s Liv?” I ask.
“She’s great. It’s a lot. Her parents are coming tomorrow to stay with us for a week. The extra hands will be welcome.”
“That’s great.” The Daltons are wonderful people. Will lucked out in the in-law department.
“You’re turn.” Declan turns and hands me Ansley.
“Let me get you a blanket. I’ll be right back.” Will jumps up and hurries out of the room.
I run my finger over Ansley’s cheek. “She’s so soft.”
She’s sound asleep. I can feel her little chest rising and falling. “I can’t believe how tiny she is.”
“Who do you think she looks like?” he asks.
I laugh. “I can’t tell. Can you?”
Declan leans forward, so he can get a better look at her face. “That could be anyone’s kid.”
I laugh. “Don’t tell Will that.”
“Maybe if her eyes were open we could tell.”
I lean forward and inhale deeply. “Oh. My. God. That’s the best smell in the world.”
I lean in even closer, so I can do it again and when I do, tears start to roll down my cheek. I rush to wipe them away. “Why am I crying?”
Declan doesn’t answer. I flick my eyes up to him. His face looks worried.
“You’re pregnant.” It’s not a question.
“What? No, I’m not.” These damn tears keep falling down my face. What is wrong with me?
“Brooklyn...”
“Declan, that’s crazy. I’m not...”
I furrow my brow and try to remember the last time I had a period.
Oh god. When Kip and I were together last time, we didn’t use condoms. It was our first rule, and we just ignored it.
I always use protection. I don’t know what I was thinking - or rather not thinking.
With everything that had just happened with Daryl, it just didn’t seem important.
Oh god, it seems terribly important right now.
Sweat rolls down my back. I rub my temples.
I can’t be pregnant though. That’s crazy. I’m sure I’m not.
“The last three times I’ve seen you, you’ve thrown up,” Declan says.
“I’ve had a stomach bug.”
“For weeks?” His voice is loud. Ansley jerks.
“Shhhh!”
“Sorry,” he whispers. I rock Ansley until she settles again.
“Have you taken a test?” he asks.
I look up. His eyes are locked on mine. “Brooklyn, you need to take a test.”
“A test. What kind of test?” Will says, walking into the room. He’s holding his hand out to give me the blanket, and then he freezes.
He just looks at me and then at Declan and then back again. I cast my eyes down. I can’t meet either of their eyes right now.
“Are you pregnant?” he asks.
Now I’m really crying. Will takes Ansley and places her in her bassinet. “Brooklyn, look at me. Are you pregnant?”
“I don’t know,” I blurt out.
“When was your last period?”
I really don’t want to get into the details of my period or my sex life with my brothers, but I’m trying to remember this myself.
I haven’t had a period since I was in Alaska, and I’m long overdue.
I had noticed it was late, but my body has been so out of whack that I thought it was just stress.
I’m not eating well. I’m not sleeping well.
Sometimes my cycle gets off, but now that I think about it, it’s never gotten this off.
My breasts have been killing me too. I keep thinking my period’s about to start, and I have the world’s worse PMS. Oh god. ..how could I have been so oblivious?
“You need to take a test.” Declan has his hand on my shoulder now. “You need to know.”
I’m wiping my face again. Will hands me a box of tissues. As I’m blowing my nose and wiping my eyes, Will leaves the room.
“Here,” he says when he returns.
I just blink at him a few times. He’s holding something out toward me.
“Take them.”
I reach out my hand. He gives me three pregnancy tests.
“Liv bought the Costco box when we were trying to get pregnant. These are leftover. Go take them.”
I don’t move. Declan rubs my back and then says, “You need to know.”
When I stand up and walk across the room, I feel like my body is floating, like I’m living in a dream.
I close the bathroom door behind me and stand at the sink for a minute just staring at myself in the mirror.
I’ve never taken a pregnancy test before – other than when I took one the day I crashed into Kip’s life.
That doesn’t count though. I knew I wasn’t pregnant that time.
I’ve never really needed to take a test. I’m always so careful, so responsible.
I can’t believe how careless - how reckless I was.
I place my hands on the counter and hang my head down between my shoulders.
I hear a soft knock on the door and Declan calls, “Need anything?”
“No. I just need a minute,” I call back. I take a deep breath. Waiting isn’t going to make this any easier. I read the directions and tear off the wrappers. I carefully pee on each one and place the caps back on. After I wash my hands, I set a timer and then walk back out into the living room.
“Anything?” Will asks, his eyes are full concern.
“Not time yet.”
I set the tests down on the coffee table and plop down on the couch next to Declan. He puts his arm around me and pulls me into his body.
“It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens. We’re all here for you.”
I just nod. I can’t speak right now.
The timer goes off.
“Do you want me to look?” Will asks.
I lean forward and pick them up. “No, I’ll do it.”
I hold my breath as I look at the tests.
“Pregnant.”
Neither of them says a word. I’m flipping through each of the tests. “Pregnant. Pregnant.”
I’m not surprised. Now that I’m thinking through the past few weeks, it’s obvious. The nauseous, exhaustion, headaches - it’s all there. I just wasn’t paying attention, or maybe if I’m being honest, I was just in denial.
Will speaks first. His voice is soft. “Is it Kip’s?”
I float my eyes up to his. “Yes.”
He holds my gaze. “You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
He just nods and then says, “Do you want to call him?”
I flinch.
Declan sits up straight beside me. “Brooklyn, you have to tell him.”
I shake my head.
“You can’t keep this from him.”
“Just let me think, okay!” I throw my hands up. “I literally just found out, and there’s a million things going through my head and I’m...”
I let my voice trail off and lean over until my head hits the couch pillow. Will walks over and squats down in front of me so he’s eye to eye with me. He brushes his hand over my hair.
“It’s okay. You don’t need to do anything right now.”
I close my eyes. I feel like the world has tilted, and I’m sliding off. Will just rests his hand on my shoulder, and neither of them says a word.
“You’ll need to make a doctor’s appointment. We can get you in with Liv’s doctor. She’s amazing. She delivered Elizabeth’s babies too.”
I can’t open my eyes. I can’t acknowledge what he’s saying. He gets up for a moment. When he returns, I hear him setting something on the coffee table. I open my eyes.
“You need to start taking prenatal vitamins. Liv has some leftovers you can have.”
I slowly sit up. “Thanks.”
I bite my lip and then add, “Please don’t tell anyone.”
A look passes between them.
“Of course,” Declan says.
“Yeah,” Will says.
I point at him. “You can’t tell James.”
“I won’t.” He holds up his hands.
“I don’t even want you to tell Liv,” I add.
He looks a little hurt.
“I’ll tell...I’ll tell all of them when I’m ready, but it’s my secret to tell.”
He nods.
“You can’t tell Kip. Promise me.” I say. My eyes are deadly serious right now.
He lets out a sigh that deflates his body a little. “Brooklyn...”
“Promise me, Will.”
“I won’t tell him. I promise.” He rubs his hands over his face. “You need to tell him though.”
“Sooner rather than later,” Declan adds. “He needs to know.”
“I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”
They both nod.
I feel my lip quivering. Good Lord, am I just going to spend the next eight and a half month crying?
“Hey.” Will sits beside me so he can hug me. “We’re here for you. All of us. You have the biggest support system possible. Whatever you decide to do, we’re going to help you.”
“I’ll move in with you,” Declan says.
I blink a few times. “What?”
“If you wanted, I’d move in with you and help you.”
I shake my head. “Wouldn’t that ruin your carefree bachelor lifestyle?”
“This is more important.”
Shit, I’m really crying now. “Thank you. I don’t think that will be necessary.”
“It’s a real offer. I mean it.” He hands me another tissue.
After I clean up, I say, “Juno and Keene will be here soon to see Ansley. We should probably go.”
I take the pregnancy tests into the kitchen and throw them away in the trash can, burying them under two days’ worth of trash. Will hands me the prenatal vitamins as we’re walking out the door, and I slip them into my purse. He leans forward and kisses my cheek.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I promise. Everything will be okay.”
I nod in agreement, but inside I’m reeling.