34. Paranoid
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
paranoid
LINNEA
Thankfully, I must have been paranoid. It’s been a normal week. A beautiful, delightful week with Aiden.
I hate how heavily my past sits on me, still. This is something I need to shake. I need to do better. For us. Every time Aiden avoids talking about something, I worry, and it’s not healthy.
‘Do you trust me?’ he asked me two months ago.
By now, the answer to that question should be an unequivocal ‘yes’. I trust that he would tell me if there’s something important. I trust that he cares for me, that he wants me. Whatever reasons he has for holding back from me, I need to trust that he will open up one day about what matters.
I swirl the red wine in my glass, watching the liquid as it turns lighter red at the edges and darker in the middle.
Today is the first day I’ve not been out and about for work, and I’ve had a Friday me-day, which has been perfect.
I’m limber and clean from a long bath, my hair is blown out, and I’m all dressed up in one of my new dresses from Casa Aurato.
A light pink one that is silky soft, and hugs my curves, which Aiden will appreciate.
Mmm, he’s going to get that passionate, hungry expression on his face again. When he looks like he wants to eat me and play with me at the same time.
It turns me on just thinking about it.
Hmm, when can I see him?
The sun is still streaming in through the conservatory, so it can’t be late enough yet. Four maybe? I poke at my phone on the table to check. Yep, 4.30 p.m.
Aiden’s meetings should finish around six, so I have plenty of time to enjoy my wine and listen to music before I surprise him at The Orion. He always comes around here, I’m sure he’ll love not having to get in the car for once.
Minutes later, dancing around my living room to ‘Take on Me’ I barely hear the knock on my front door, but it’s such an unusual sound that I react with a jolt to my stomach. I’m not expecting anything or anyone.
I pause the music and open the door, and my body freezes with shock.
“Hi, Linnea.” He has the audacity to smile.
“Henry.” In the flesh. Alone. On my front step.
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
“Fine, I can stand here on your doorstep like a nitwit.”
His words, not mine. I’d be harsher.
“Why are you here?”
He squares his shoulders, his lean muscles straining against the grey wool suit jacket I recognise. “Are you alone? You look like you’re dressed to go out.”
“I’m about to leave, actually, so be swift.”
“Did you read the latest blog?”
“I didn’t, actually.” Strangely, I’ve not been interested in reading it since I started seeing Aiden for real.
“Oh.”
“Why?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.
“It’s about me. It puts me in a very bad light.”
About him? What angle?
“What does it have to do with me?”
“Everything, Linnea. It claims I’ve spread rumours about you.” He does that face I remember I used to fall for. The wide eyes. So innocent-looking. He doesn’t fool me anymore.
“It claims the truth as far as I know,” I say, wanting to cross my arms but I keep my hand on the doorhandle, ready to slam it shut when I need to.
“Well, since Sunday I’ve had to put out fires. The Baron—Mr Sinclair—” He clears his throat. “I asked him for help, but that didn’t go down well. He’s given me an ultimatum. I need to fix this mess somehow.”
“It doesn’t answer my question, Henry. Why are you here?”
“Linnea, I need your support. My business is in jeopardy. My upcoming wedding…”
“My support. For you to fix … the business that you practically stole from me and the marriage to the woman you cheated on me with. Huh.”
His jaw flexes. How long will he be able to keep up this fake-helpless charade that he’s put on before he reveals he’s angry with me?
“Regardless,” I say, keeping my eyes on his. “You deserve to be taken down a peg.”
“The blogger is spewing lies about me, Linnea,” he hisses.
“Oh, I wonder how that feels.” I roll my eyes. “You need to leave now.” I start to close the door but he puts a foot in the crack.
“Stop.” His eyes are wide and dark. “Please, Linnea, you can tell my clients that it’s not true. You can tell them I know what I’m doing. Please. They’ll listen to you now, after that stupid fucking blog.”
“There is no world in which I will help you. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. Get out of my face.”
He gapes at me. “Jesus Christ, you really are as unlovable as I recall.”
“There he is. The real Henry Lancaster.”
Henry shakes his head and spits on my doorstep. “Cold bitch.”
“Fuck off, Henry.” I close the door.
“You were a waste of effort,” he shouts through the thick wood but his voice is as clear as if he spoke straight into my ear. “Even your mum knows. That’s why she could never be arsed with you.”
I bite down, gritting my teeth.
Don’t respond. Don’t give him the pleasure.
The sound of him shuffling outside makes my blood boil. I want to scream at him, but I won’t let him get the better of me. Never again. He says things. He throws daggers and hopes one will hit.
It’s not true. That’s not why Mum… Whatever. It’s not true.
A long minute later I hear him walking down the steps and away, and I sink down on the floor. My heart hammers so hard I can feel it in my throat.
I did it.
I stood up to Henry, and I kept my cool. More or less.
And I’m not listening to what he says. His words have no meaning.
I’m going to go see my boyfriend now. The only person whose words I want to listen to, whose face I want to see. We can read the blog and laugh together.
I’m early to The Orion and get to watch Aiden the way I used to watch him only a few months ago but now with a completely different lens.
This gorgeous man standing across the members’ lounge, he’s my boyfriend.
The man who makes me open up, who makes me come, and feel safe, who shows me I am worth his time. I’m worth his effort.
Right now he’s talking to two men in neatly cut suits. They ooze money with their tailored clothes and large watches. But I suppose so does Aiden a bit, although much more subtly in his black shirt and matching trousers.
He’s not aware I’m here, so I lean against the wall by the edge of the room, watching him.
He shakes one man’s hand, then the other, and I make my way towards him as it appears he’s finishing up. I’m hopeful he’s ready and happy to take me home with him.
Before I reach him, another man intersects, catching Aiden’s attention before he sees me, so I stop. I don’t want to be the girlfriend who interrupts him at his work.
Feeling a bit awkward, I sit down on a chair by the nearest table and wait. But I hate that I can hear them. It’s like I’m being dishonest.
“Yes, I’m really good, thank you,” Aiden answers a question I missed.
I try to distract myself with my phone, but their bass voices carry.
“That’s good to hear. You didn’t look too sharp last time I saw you,” the other man says, and in my periphery he’s rubbing a hand over his ginger beard.
“When was that? At the AR event?”
“You don’t remember? I saw you at the…” I turn my head at the change in his tone and catch the man raising an eyebrow at Aiden.
“Where?” Aiden asks and I focus back on my phone, my stomach churning with guilt for listening in.
“The place. You know.”
“Oh, right. Right. When? I can’t recall seeing you there.”
“I don’t remember, like, a week after the AR event? Not sure. It was definitely a Sunday because I’d been to the football.”
“Ah. Yes. I was having a day,” Aiden says, chuckling.
“But you’re alright?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“Alright, good. Glad I saw you to confirm. I’ve got to head out, but I’ll see you either here or there soon for a drink? A proper chat?”
“It’d be here. I won’t be going there again.”
“No? Got something better going on, do you?”
“You could say that.”
My stomach turns to ice. I’m not supposed to be listening to this. I need to make my presence known before he says something I don’t want to hear.
I’m on my feet in an instant, walking towards them, and catch the attention of the ginger man Aiden’s talking to, which makes Aiden turn to me.
That uncontainable smile splits his face, and he looks genuinely excited to see me.
There’s nothing in his expression that says he’s worried I just heard them.
That makes my stomach relax. It’s all okay.
“Hey,” he says. “Linnea, this is one of the investors I work with on my City of London property development projects. We’ve known each other for—how many years now?”
“Ten-ish,” the man says. “Hi, Chase Langston, pleasure to meet you.”
“Linnea Fredriksen,” I say, shaking his hand. “I’m the interior designer for Aiden’s establishments.”
“Wow, well done! These places are spectacular.”
Aiden slips a hand around my waist. “And she’s my girlfriend.”
“I see,” Chase says. “Something better indeed,” he adds in a low voice, raising an eyebrow at Aiden, and Aiden tightens his arm around my waist.
Hold on, so what they were talking about earlier had something to do with …
girlfriends? I run through what I heard.
He won’t be going there because he has something better going on.
Which is me, if I understood that correctly.
Fuck, I hate how my muscles tense in that familiar way at all the questions I have.
Aiden says goodbye to his friend, and I nod farewell, not paying attention. Fucking hell, I push one thing away and then another comes up. I’m so confused. He kisses my cheek, and I close my eyes, breathing him in. I don’t want to be confused.
“Hope it’s okay I came here,” I say. “Thought I’d let you avoid traffic for once.”
“I love that you’re here,” he says.
“Can we go home to yours?” I ask, trying my best to mask my concerns, but Aiden searches my eyes, scanning my face.
“Is everything okay?” he asks.
“Let’s go to yours. Are you finished for the day?”
“There’s one thing I need to do. Are you okay to wait at mine? I won’t be long.”
I twiddle the fabric of my dress between my fingers. Just ask, Linnea. Get the words out.
“What place was he talking about?”
“Who?”
“Your friend, Chase. I didn’t mean to, but I overheard something about a place he saw you. It sounded so secretive.” I try to laugh, but it comes out strained.
Aiden blinks, and he smiles, but it’s one of his casual ones, the well-rehearsed kind. “I can’t talk about that here, but it’s nowhere important. Trust me.”
“Okay.”
“See you at my place in half an hour or so?” he asks, brushing my upper arms with his soft, large hands that I love so much.
“Yes.”
I’m awkward and I hate it. It’s not meant to be awkward with Aiden.
But my brain is buzzing now, it’s just too much.
His dad, the Italian guy last week, and this.
This better just be me and my wild imagination.
Or he might not be the Aiden I want him to be.
What if I’m doing it again—letting myself be charmed by someone who will turn on me later?
My chest stings. I don’t want to think this of Aiden.
But he seems different right now and I can’t understand why.
“See you later,” I say. “I’ll head to yours.”
He cups my face and brushes a kiss to my lips, and I try to act normal as I say goodbye and walk outside. The evening breeze on my bare arms reminds me I didn’t put on a jacket because I wanted him to see the dress.
He didn’t notice it.
I turn to the door as if it brings me closer to him.
“Are you coming back inside, Linnea?” the doorman asks.
“No, I’m not.” I wave and walk away, but I stop not far up the street.
Aiden always notices me.
Sure, he was talking to his investor friend, but he would’ve said something afterwards. Fuck, he must have been so preoccupied with that place, or his friend’s comment, that he didn’t pay attention the way he normally does.
I stand there on the side of the road, perplexed by my spiralling thoughts, when I spot the broad back of Aiden walking away from The Orion. Where is he going?
Without overthinking it, I follow.
Not knowing what to expect, my mind races. I watch him from a distance but keeping him in sight. He walks with purpose, and I struggle to keep up without jogging in my heels. Further down the street, he takes a right and enters a house. There’s no sign on the door or outside. What the fuck?
I stand outside staring at the door he just disappeared through. It’s unnerving that Aiden just walked into what looks like a regular house. Someone’s private residence.
Fuck, that makes my stomach hurt. I’m not sure I can breathe. No. No, he wouldn’t do that to me. Aiden would never. Wrapping my arms around myself in a hug, I decide: I’m going to stand here until he comes back out and get all the answers I need, I don’t care how long it takes.