Chapter 13
PAIGE
Paige bails out at the last second for the tenth time in a row and clings to the wall. After taking a couple seconds to regain her composure, she slowly climbs down, tail tucked between her legs.
“You’re going to land this,” Remi says, with far more confidence than Paige deserves.
Remi’s wearing a white tank top and navy climbing pants, her arms crossed against her chest as she stares at the stupid damn dyno in contemplation.
There’s extra volume to her curls that Paige’s fingers are itching to play in.
“No, come on,” Paige says. “I’m a static climber, and I’ve accepted this. I’m waving the white flag. There’s no point in wasting any more time on this.”
“I don’t get it,” Remi says. “You should be landing this. You have the strength and technical skills.”
“It’s not meant to be. I don’t know what you want from me.” Paige doesn’t mean to sound so whiny, but this is embarrassing.
She’s begged Brandon—their favorite route setter—to change this one weeks ago. Paige is suspicious of how long it’s lasted and—while she can’t prove it—she knows Remi has something to do with it.
“Are you okay?” Remi asks.
“Just dandy.” Paige blows out a raspberry.
“We can stop,” she says, stroking Paige’s arms. “I can tell you’re really starting to beat yourself up.”
Paige rubs her hands over her face, exasperated. She’d love nothing more than to stop giving this problem more opportunities to kick her ass, but she’s also afraid of disappointing Remi. She really believes in her, and she doesn’t want to prove her wrong.
“Is there something else holding you back?”
Paige inhales, not wanting to say it.
“Princess?” Remi prompts.
Groaning, Paige mumbles out a, “Maybe.”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable.”
God, why must Remi be so respectful, and patient, and perfect? Paige’s mind flashes back to the last person she confessed this to and the way Tyler laughed in her face. Then she looks up into Remi’s calm, blue eyes.
“I’m … afraid of heights.”
“You’re afraid … of heights?” She frowns, visibly confused.
“Don’t laugh,” Paige warns.
Remi reels back. “Why would I laugh? I’m just surprised. I had no idea. Wait. Is that why you always climb halfway down routes?”
“You noticed that?”
“I always assumed it was for practice.”
Down-climbing is a great way to build strength and technique. There’s the added benefit of protecting your joints from the high impact of jumping from the top of the wall over and over again during a bouldering session.
Yet, those are all added bonuses, and not the reason Paige does it.
“Let’s go with that,” Paige says, and Remi smiles wryly.
“And that’s why you don’t like top rope.” Remi doesn’t say it like a question. She stares ahead at the dyno, her forehead furrowed. “Tell me honestly, do you want to land this or would you rather we forget it and climb somewhere else?”
Paige mulls the question over. Her gut reaction is to say screw this, go find Brandon and beg him to change the route, but that’s her fear and shame speaking for her. Because the truth is: she does. She wants to kick this dyno’s ass.
“I want to land it.”
“Do you trust me?”
This question requires no thought. “I do.”
“Then follow me.” Remi offers Paige her hand, she takes it and lets Remi lead.
They head to the front of the lobby where their bags are stored in cubbies.
After they put on their harnesses, Remi guides Paige somewhere she never voluntarily goes.
Paige’s heart rate jumps as Remi descends the stairs into the pit where all the top rope and lead climbing routes are.
“Remi?”
She hits Paige with a crooked grin. “Come on, Princess.”
Paige doesn’t move, standing frozen at the top of the steps. Remi walks back up the stairs and offers Paige her hand. “Trust me,” she whispers.
Paige exhales once, then takes Remi’s hand.
Remi leads them to one of the easier top rope routes.
This type of climbing has the rope already anchored to the top of the wall.
One end of the rope clips into the climber’s harness and the other end clips into the belayer’s harness where they stay on the ground and manage the tightness of the rope, preventing long drops.
It’s safer than lead climbing which requires the climber to hook the rope into protection points every few feet up the wall and can have bigger drops depending on how close the climber is to a protection point.
Still, even knowing it’s the safer option and this being a relatively easy route, the thirty-foot-tall wall is daunting as hell up close. It’s nearly double the size of the wall with the auto belays on the main floor.
“What’re we doing?” Paige asks, voice shaky.
“Learning how to fall.”
Paige gulps. “Excuse me, what?”
“You have a mental block that prevents you from leaving the wall to complete the dyno,” Remi says. “And now we know it’s because you’re scared to fall. The best way to take power away from our fears is by confronting them head-on.”
“That all sounds great, but why are we at the tallest wall in the entire gym to do this?” Paige asks.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Remi says. “You’re not climbing more than a couple of feet.”
Paige blows out a breath of relief and wrings the tension out of her hands. Remi makes sure the belay device is safely attached to her harness and works properly while Paige clips in herself.
“Are you okay?” Remi asks
Tentatively she nods. “I’m ready.”
Remi whispers out of the side of her mouth, “On belay.”
The words trigger Paige’s memory from the classes Tyler strong-armed her into taking. Top rope climbing has commands that ensure effective communication and safe climbing. Every command from the climber has a response from the belayer that needs to be heard before taking the next action.
Paige’s voice wobbles as she asks, “On belay?”
“Belay on.” Remi’s tone is calm, confident, and smooth. It settles over Paige, and she manages one deep inhale.
The starter holds are two big jugs which are arguably the easiest rock climbing hold to grip. The next couple are of a similar size. Paige relaxes a little at the sight of them.
I can do this, she thinks.
“Climbing,” Paige says, then waits for Remi’s, “Climb on,” before positioning herself on the wall.
“Okay,” Remi says when Paige moves up to the next foothold. “Stop.”
Paige frowns, having expected Remi wanted her to climb higher. The top of Remi’s head is level with Paige’s elbow.
“Let go,” Remi says.
She shifts her weight to look back at Remi. “What?”
“Let go,” Remi repeats.
Paige’s heart races, she squeezes the holds tighter. Then she forces herself to let go and falls back to … nowhere.
The rope is taut against Paige’s harness, and she barely moves. With her feet still on the wall, she hovers in a half-seated position.
Paige’s breathing slows from its erratic pace.
“How’re you feeling?” Remi asks.
“Okay,” she says. She’s never let herself fall while top roping. While Tyler pressured her into taking the classes and convinced her to climb a couple routes, she always chose the easiest ones and would climb back down, never once letting him lower her.
“Good,” Remi says. “Want to climb a little higher?”
Remi has Paige stop after another foot and encourages her to let go again. After a couple more times, Remi has Paige climb down and asks if she feels comfortable with Remi leaving some slack in the rope so it’ll simulate more of a drop.
Paige hesitates for only a moment before agreeing. Her heart lunges into her throat the first time Remi lets her drop a foot before the rope catches her. But after doing it again and again, Paige doesn’t even flinch when Remi tells her to drop when she’s eight feet up.
“You’re doing great,” Remi tells Paige when they’re taking a break. “I’d never guess you were scared.”
Paige gulps down some water, the words fill her with warmth. She’d never have made it to this point without Remi’s steady and confident presence at her side, gently encouraging her.
She tosses her bottle down and heads back to the pit, ready to start again when Remi stops her.
Paige’s brows furrow.
“You’re ready,” Remi says.
“Wait. No.” Paige’s heart races, her palms sweating all over again. “You think so?”
Remi has spent the past forty minutes helping her face her fear of falling. What if she’s still too scared to commit to lunging through the air for the dyno and she wasted Remi’s time?
Remi interlaces their fingers. “I know you got this.” Then she smiles crookedly. “And if you fall, I’ll catch you.”
Paige laughs breathlessly. “There’s no rope in bouldering.”
“No, but there are crash pads.” Remi winks.
While Paige chalks up, Remi drags a crash pad over.
Remi catches Paige’s eye and nods once, she returns the gesture, then tosses her chalk bag on the floor.
Her movements are precise and controlled as she makes her way up the wall.
The beginning of the route is second nature after her many attempts.
When Paige reaches the dyno, she allows herself only a second, not wanting to hesitate too long and give the doubt or fear a chance to creep in. Paige drops down and bounces up, once, twice, gaining momentum until she tells herself, this is it.
Pushing through her legs, Paige explodes forward, leaping through the air, allowing her hands and feet to leave the wall.
Within a blink, her fingers close around the next hold.
Her momentum swings her forward until her toes kick out until they find purchase on two footholds.
Her heart thunders in her chest, but with pride and adrenaline this time instead of fear.
She lets out a shocked and breathless laugh.
Holy shit.
I did it.
“Hell yes!” Remi lets out a whoop. “That’s what I’m talking about, baby!”
Paige drops her head back, laughing softly almost in stunned disbelief.
She. Did. That.
But not alone.
Paige is so excited she almost forgets to finish the drill, moving to head back down when Remi shouts for her to climb to the top, pointing her fingers animatedly. She’s so fired up, it makes Paige’s heart squeeze.
Paige’s cheeks hurt from smiling so wide, and adrenaline thrums through her as she wraps both hands around the finish. It takes everything in her to focus on down-climbing before she gives up, not wanting to risk slipping.
She drops, landing on the crash pad with a small thwap. Her momentum carries her backward, her pulse pounding. Remi is there. Grabbing her arms.
“That was amazing,” Remi cheers.
“I can’t believe I did that.” Paige laughs breathlessly.
“I can.” Remi bends forward and kisses her. Paige clutches Remi’s face when she tries to pull back and kisses her harder.
“Ugh, that was incredible,” she says. “I feel like we should celebrate. Is that silly?”
“Not at all.” Remi grins. “We’ll definitely be celebrating.”
Paige kisses her again, her fingers sliding up her neck to curl into Remi’s hair. The kiss takes her breath away.
“I’m going to run to the bathroom real fast, then we’re going to go celebrate. Wherever you want.” Remi presses her lips to Paige’s forehead.
“I’ll grab our bags.” Yet Paige doesn’t leave.
She pushes to her feet and lingers, staring up at the wall as pride swirls in her chest. She never once thought she’d finish this route.
Without Remi’s encouragement, she doubts she ever would have.
It’s one more thing to be thankful to that amazing woman for.
Slow clapping startles her.
“That was great, Paige,” a voice she hoped to go the rest of her life never hearing from again comes from behind her. “Really impressive.”
“Tyler?” She whirls around. There’s a tiny flicker of hope that her ears deceived her, but nope. There he is. Of course he’s shirtless, his arms crossed over his chest, and, if Paige isn’t mistaken, he’s flexing. She has to stifle a laugh.
He got rid of his douchebro mullet and replaced it with a fuck boy textured crop. There’s a heaviness to his shoulders and light bags under his eyes. While not noticeable to the average person, Paige knows him, and she knows this is his equivalent of him looking like shit.
Good. He deserves it.
“I knew you could do it,” he says, pointing behind Paige.
Her lip curls in disgust. “What do you want, Tyler?”
And what the hell is he doing here? After not seeing him in a couple weeks, she assumed he switched back to their old gym. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking—too good to be true.
“You.” He takes a step toward her. She takes a step back. “I miss you, Paige. I miss what we had.”
“Things not work out with Brianna?” she quips.
His eyes widen a fraction as guilt flashes across his face. She does a double take, her mouth falling open. She only threw the words out as a barb, never expecting for them to land.
“Wait. Did you try to date Brianna?”
“I don’t want to talk about the past.” He takes another step toward her. She mirrors it again with a step back. “Baby, come on. We can have such an amazing future together.”
Paige holds her hand up when he lifts his foot to take another step forward. “Stop.”
Blissfully he does. His eyes drop, then he looks up at her with a pout, having perfected the kicked puppy dog expression. It used to make her soften to him.
Used to.
Now seeing him like this, she’s no longer annoyed or pissed off by his audacity. She finds the whole thing sad and a little pathetic, and definitely not worth her time.
“I’m in a relationship, Tyler. With a person who treats me like royalty.
Who makes me feel cared for and appreciated.
Who would never dream of intentionally hurting me.
” She smiles as the image of Remi fills her mind.
She licks her lips. “I’ve moved on, and I’m happy.
I hope you can find happiness with someone new too.
And, most importantly, I hope you don’t fuck it up and hurt someone else. ”
“Paige—”
“Goodbye, Tyler.” Paige doesn’t give him a chance to speak, she turns on her heel and walks away.
Remi finds her by the cubbies. “Hey, Princess, ready to go?”
Paige pulls Remi into a crushing kiss that takes her by surprise, her eyes having a dazed look to them when Paige finally pulls back.
“What do you think about staying the night at my place tonight instead?” Paige asks.
Remi’s eyebrows rise up her forehead. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Remi’s grin is infectious. “I’d love to.”