Chapter 17
DICK, IT’S WHAT’S FOR DINNER
Maggie
By the time I got back out to the kitchen, the glass of whiskey I swiped from Hunter for liquid courage had started to kick in.
I’d wanted another, just to dull any emotion that could come from dealing with my family.
But I was pretty sure I needed something in my stomach unless I wanted this to become a night involving me praying to the porcelain gods for forgiveness.
Annie, Graham, Katie, and Derek were the only ones in the kitchen, while my family clung to Hunter, telling the horror stories of my childhood and trying to pry into his.
“Heyyy girl…” Katie ran up to me and practically squeezed the stuffing right out of me with her death grip.
“Hey, honey, I’m glad you made it.” I eyed her up and down.
“How do you like my outfit?” she asked, bouncing up and down.
I blinked, taking a step back to take it all in.
Katie was wearing a pair of reindeer antlers—not unlike the ones from Graham’s photoshoot—reindeer-shaped earrings and one of those super cropped tops that didn’t even cover her boobs—and pasties.
Yep. Pasties… in the shape of Christmas trees. That’s it.
“It’s an outfit, for sure,” I answered, pulling her in again and squeezing. “Thank you for being here. Don’t give my mom’s judgmental stares a second thought,” I said, leaning into her warmth.
“Are you kidding? I wore this just for her and your brother. You know I love to give a good fluster.”
God, I loved her. We both chuckled, then she placed her hand between us, redirecting the moment.
“Oh, Chester and Tophie are both upstairs,” she said.
“I set them up with a yuletide cat tree, a litter box, and some food. Derek found a nature video that should play for a few hours. It’s just birds and squirrels flitting around a snowy berry bush—completely wholesome entertainment for the kids.
” She giggled, then lowered her voice to a whisper, leaning into me.
“Just so you know… if I were to disappear for a while… it’d be cool, right? Silas and I have plans.”
Oh, dear God, not this again.
I closed my eyes and tried to scratch the possibilities of what that meant from my imagination. “O—kay???… Fine… just don’t… scar the children.”
“Oh, you know me better than that, silly.” She grabbed a bowl of pistachio fluff from the fridge and headed to the dining room. “Silas and I will put them in the cubby.”
“Yes, lock away the children in a room most likely filled with asbestos and nightmares so you can shag my dead uncle… sounds like a wonderful plan.” I rolled my eyes, and turned my attention to Derek.
“Hey, where’s Trixi? I thought you would have brought her?”
“She’s stuck behind the counter. For some reason the solstice brings in a crowd for larping supplies.”
“Let her know I’m sorry she couldn’t make it. We’ll make up a plate for her.”
“She’ll like that. I’ll leave a little early to get it to her.”
My gaze flicked to Graham, who’d clearly lost the same battle I did of forgetting Katie’s strange addiction. He was stuck side-eyeing her from the window seat—puffed out his cheeks and let out a breath like it was his only hope of survival.
“Derek,” Annie called, “grab the scalloped potatoes from the ov’n. And Graham, be a doll, and wrangle that ham,” she said, slipping off her apron. “Let’s get this meal over with so ya can relax,” she said, rubbing my back and leading me into the dining room.
The table was set, decorated in reds and greens and everything that screamed winter solstice was afoot. The tall pillar candles were lit up, mingled amongst the sea of holly leaves, evergreen sprigs, and the little decorative birds with wire feet I added to my collection last year.
A warm amber glow lit everyone’s faces as I entered the dining room.
“Maggie, we’ve got you here, next to Hunter, and Graham on your other side.” She motioned to the head of the table where Hunter sat. I looked around, taking note of the empty places.
“Where’s Mary? And Bradley… the aunts?” I asked.
“Well, you know Mary, she’s always late,” Jeremiah chimed in and sipped his water.
Noel chuckled next to Daddy. “She’s just as bad as Maggie—one can’t keep her legs shut… the other only opens them for a man that can’t hold a tune.”
Daddy tapped his index finger on the table, just like he used to do when we were kids. “Be nice to your sisters, pudding. You could learn a few things from them.”
“Yeah, like how to be the embarrassments of the family. I’ll pass.” Noel flipped her shoulder length bob, then took a sip of water.
“Well at least they’re not stuck with the delusion that sucking off your church leaders will get you into Sky Daddy’s marble palace.
Fuck you, Noel,” Katie grumbled. “May your ham be dry, and your wine go sour. And before you grow old…” She lowered her voice to a whisper.
“May your precious face wilt like a flower.”
I nudged Katie’s foot with mine and gave her a quick shake of my head.
“What? Someone so ugly inside doesn’t deserve a face like that,” she said, opening her napkin and placing it on her lap like she didn’t just curse my little sister.
My eyes shot to Mom, her face flushing red, before she rose. “That is enough! I will not tolerate—”
“Ophelia—” Daddy shook his head and nodded for Mom to sit back down. “They’re adults, let them handle it.”
Mom grabbed her glass, her grip tightening as she stared down Katie—it was so tight I was worried she’d shatter the crystal.
“The aunts had three last-minute bookings for a romantic solstice celebration.” Katie giggled, then looked at Mom with a devious glint in her eye.
“They’ll spend the evening chanting naked around a fire in the snow, while the couples most likely engage in an orgasm-filled pile of coitus and bodily fluids under the moonlight. ”
Mom choked on her water, spraying droplets across the table, which she quickly dabbed at with her napkin.
Graham and Derek smirked at each other, trying to swallow down their childish giggles like devious schoolboys while the rest of my family sat staring at me with raised, judgmental eyebrows like always—except for Daddy.
“That sounds like fun.” He chuckled, patting Gemma’s knee under the table. “Doesn't it, sweetheart? Maybe we should book that for next year.”
“Oh, I”d love that,” she said, already nodding.
Mom just sat there, stunned, staring forward, holding her mouth still agape.
“Well, let’s eat,” I said, picking up my napkin to open it and lower it into my lap, but it slipped out of my hand and onto the floor. I leaned over to grab it, and when I rose, Graham’s hand covered the corner of the table so I wouldn’t smack my head.
I straightened, my heart hammering against my ribs.
He didn’t move, just watched me with those stormy eyes. I froze, my gaze trapped by his soft smile.
The noise in the dining room faded away. All I could see was him. All I could feel was the heat of his hand lingering so close to my cheek. It was the heat of someone that truly cared about me.
Thank you, I mouthed, my lips trembling.
Hunter swirled the ice in his glass, the clinking unnaturally loud.
“Our girl’s a clumsy one, isn’t she, Officer Locke?
” He took a sip of his drink, his eyes never leaving Graham’s.
“Good thing you’re here to… catch her when she falls.
” He put an extra emphasis on those last words, turning them into a threat.
And then I was there again—Hunter's face, twisted and unrecognizable, the shove, the moment my feet left the floor and there was nothing beneath me but air and the rushing edges of each step on the way down. My fingers curled around the edge of the table. He knew exactly what he’d said. And so did I.
Graham jumped up, his chair screeching across the wood floor—almost toppling over. He stood so close, like he was about to launch himself over me and straight into Hunter.
Hunter muttered something in Gaelic that I didn’t understand, glaring up at Graham like he could destroy him by sheer will.
The tension was so thick. All eyes were on the three of us. I wanted to slink under the table and stay there until morning.
“Now, boys, do I have to separate you two?” Daddy poked a serving spoon in their direction. “Don’t make me come down to that end of the table.” He chuckled a bit, then spooned potatoes onto his plate.
“Yes, let’s all be civil here,” Annie said, reaching over Derek and tugging at Graham’s arm. “Would you sit down?” She handed him the big bowl of pistachio fluff. He sat down, and we all dished up our plates.
Graham passed the fluff to me. I took one spoonful and stuffed the spoon back into the bowl.
“Oof—” came from the pistachio mixture. I glanced down and Uncle Silas’s face appeared in the dessert.
I gasped and pressed my lips together.
“Uncle Silas? What are you doing?” I whispered, holding the bowl between Graham and me to shield our voices.
“Maggie, I cannot believe you would make me stay upstairs when clearly there is a family reunion down here.”
“Uncle Silas, not now. I don’t want any extra drama tonight,” I said, my voice quiet.
“Oh, yes, yes, dear, just pass me to Kathryn, I must give her a message.”
“Fine, but no funny business,” I murmured.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, my dear.”
I begrudgingly passed the fluff to Hunter, who took a scoop without incident—thank God—then handed it to Katie.
The fluff jiggled and swelled, glowing. Katie’s eyes went wide as it transformed into a very erect penis in the center of the bowl.
My jaw dropped. I glanced to Graham, who had just stuffed a spoonful into his mouth right as he clocked the boner bursting from the fluff. He was panic-stricken, grossed out, and mortified all at once. He let his mouth fall open, dropping the fluff back onto his plate—I didn’t blame him.
“Girl, din’t yer mama teach ya manners?” Annie asked, side-eyeing her. “Save some for the rest of us, child.”
“My mother’s dead. So, no.” Katie wiped the corners of her lips seductively. “Besides, this is all mine.”
Jesus Christ.