Chapter 19
THE SHORT CUT
Derek
You know, just because I was a paranormal investigator who’d had a casual sexual relationship with Katie and her friends didn’t mean I was okay with it infiltrating every aspect of my life.
Technically, I should’ve been used to weird ghost shit by now…
but when I returned to the balcony, I learned I was wrong.
Katie and Silas decided I would be the perfect field reporter to document the entire process and effects of mortal to spectral coitus.
And as thrilling as that endeavor sounded…
I wasn’t quite ready to flesh out my research on spectrophilia.
Besides… they probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone.
I backpedaled out of there and made a quick pit stop to throw some water on my face, hoping to scrub that imagery from my mind. Trix would be glad she missed out on that little nightmare.
I gripped the doorknob to the bathroom only to find it locked.
“Ope… sorry.”
Metal clinked to the floor, followed by Maggie’s muffled “Dammit.”
I knocked. “Mags, that you? You okay?”
Then there was a crash—her body hitting the tile—I knew it.
“Hey man, is Maggie up there?” I hollered up the attic stairs to Graham.
“No. Had to use the bathroom,” he responded.
“Fuck! Get down here, Locke!”
“Open the door, Maggie!” I pounded on it. Shit.
I knew tonight would be too much. I shouldn’t have let anyone else watch her tonight.
They didn’t know her the way I did now. They didn’t know how many cuts she really had.
The ones she hid on her inner thighs, the ones so small most wouldn’t notice.
But there’d been one too many close calls. “Come on, Mags! Open up!”
Fuck.
I beat on the door, each hit harder than the one before.
“What’s the matter?” Hunter called, scaling the steps. “Her family’s starting to freak. Sounds like you’re trying to break down the bloody door.”
“Yeah, I’m about to,” I said frantically.
Graham’s boots pounded down the attic steps. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Maggie’s locked herself in the bathroom again. It’s what she does when she’s about to cut herself.”
“Goddamn it, I thought we were done with this.” He pushed me to the side. “Max, come on. Open the door.” He knocked politely. “Please, Max.”
“You have to get her, man. Last time she almost bled out.”
Graham body slammed the door. Once. Twice. Three times, and he was in—the doorframe fracturing with his force.
It wasn’t her body hitting the tiles I’d heard. It was that fucking magnum bottle of champagne hitting the bathmat. Just like last time, Maggie had filled the tub and climbed in, fully clothed.
Graham shoved through the splintering wood and scooped Maggie up from the flooding tub.
“What did she take?”
“Just some gummies, weed, and a fuckton of champagne,” I said, stepping into the bathroom.
“No.” He held out his hand, stopping me. “I want everybody out. It’s just me and her.”
“Hey… I’m her boyfriend.” Hunter pushed past me.
“Oh, my God! This isn’t about that, asshole.” Graham pulled his gun out from behind his back and pointed it at Hunter. “Get the fuck out!!!”
Graham
Goddamn it! How could she keep doing this? I thought we talked about this. I couldn’t believe she’d blindside me by being so fucking selfish.
Locke, what are you talking about? Shut up. She’s broken and it’s your goddamn fault.
Fix it.
Maggie slumped in my arms.
Shit. Shitshitshit!
“Max, you gotta wake up. You gotta look at me.”
I set her down on the leather bench by the wall, wrapped a towel around her shoulders, and steadied her.
“Just let me go,” she said, her voice weak and barely there.
My vision blurred when I saw the knife in her hand. And just like that, something snapped inside.
“You want out, princess?” I asked through clenched teeth, grabbing her chin, lifting it so her red-rimmed and hazy as fuck eyes met mine. “That’s not gonna happen. It’s a cop-out. You’re not me. You don’t run from your problems. You’re stronger than that. You end it? You end me too.”
Dropping to my knees, I faced away from her and grabbed the hand with the knife and brought the blade to my throat.
She straightened, gasping as the cold steel raked over my stubble. Her hand trembled under mine until she loosened her grip. I held my hand still tight on hers.
“If you’re taking the easy way out, you’re taking me with you. I didn’t come back just to watch you give up.”
“Graham, I’ve ruined so many lives,” she said, voice trembling, tears welling—threatening to spill over her lashes.
“Yeah, and that’s some serious fucked up shit,” I said.
Maggie held her emotions in until they spilled. “And like what you did wasn’t?”
“No, Max. It was. It’s just… don’t do that.
I can’t stand the thought of you in pain like that…
bleeding… begging for death.” I took the knife from her shaking hand and set it on the floor beside me then turned around.
“Look at me, princess. We’re in this together now.
” I locked her gaze with mine. “Do you understand? We have a problem? We fix it. No more of this. Never.” Then I rose to my feet and took her face in my hands.
I didn’t look away until the tears finally fell—caught them with my thumbs before they made it past her cheekbones.
“Maggie, I see so much of that with my job… I can’t—”
“So just because you chose a career that thrusts you into the middle of the darkest parts of people… it automatically means anyone in your life can’t break down—be human? Fuck up? Or is it only you that gets to suffer? Is it only you that gets to experience real pain?
“Jesus Christ, Max.”
“No, Graham. I feel like I’m nothing to you. You left me. How am I supposed to forget that? How am I supposed to trust that when shit gets real again… you won’t leave again.”
“I don’t know. Bind me to you. I don’t care. Spell me. Make it so I can’t leave. Because I don’t want to. I never want to leave you again. You’ll just have to trust me.”
“I can’t.”
“Well, cupcake, that’s something you’re just going to have to work out… because I’m not going anywhere.”
It was there in her eyes. The embarrassment. The shame. “There’s something else.”
“What is it?”
“Everyone sees me as a commodity—even you. And that fucking sucks. I’m only wanted for my body or my psychic abilities—if you can even call them that. At what point does everything stop being a transaction?”
I sighed. “Max, I’m sorry. I never meant it to be like that or make you feel used.”
“Well, you did. Hunter did. Even Derek and Uncle Silas did. The only one who just wants to be my friend is Katie. But I don’t deserve her friendship. All I do is neglect or reject her. All I do is hurt people. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better for everyone if I just gave up.”
“No.” My voice dropped low—serious. I didn’t even recognize it for a moment—the shards of glass grinding into the grit, trying to unearth everything I wanted to bury.
The shit she already knew about. The shit I couldn’t swallow down because this stung too close to my heart.
“No shortcuts, princess,” I gritted out.
“Never like this. You hurt yourself again… you might as well stab me in the heart and watch me bleed out because I sure as hell ain’t watching you. ”
Maggie let her face fall into her hands, and she broke. Sobbing, unable to keep herself together. “I’m so sorry, Graham.”
I sat beside her and wrapped my arms around her. Just held her while she crumbled and the pieces shattered around us.
Her falling into me when I didn’t have the slightest clue what I was doing scared the fuck out of me. But I didn’t care—I couldn’t let her see that.
I pressed a kiss on the top of her head.
Like maybe it would do something to stabilize her.
Like maybe it would magically fix this. “Don’t worry about it.
It’s over now. I’m here. Anytime you get thoughts like that—like you just can’t handle another moment, you call me… text me… anything… any time. Got it?”
She nodded, just a little… then nestled herself back into my chest.
I understood this wasn’t just about me. It wasn’t only about how I’d failed her.
That was just the tipping point. This had built from years of never being enough for those that were supposed to love her.
From years of putting a band-aid on something that needed a fucking amputation.
This was her version of the war I had inside my head.
And because of that… I loved her a little more.
Maggie
Graham frightened me. Never in a million years did I expect him to take the knife from me and hold it to his own throat like that.
What if we’d slipped? What if I cut him?
Thinking about all the possibilities sent my heart racing, lodged in my throat.
And even though I was in his arms, his fingers caressing the backs of my hands… I couldn’t breathe.
The thought of him leaving again thrummed just outside the edges of my vision like an annoying headache. What would happen if I relapsed? What if I was too much? Too toxic?
I tried to blow out a breath, but it came out stuttered—forced.
My hands trembled as I spun the ring on my finger. The inscription echoed like its own curse—his pulse—his obsession.
Tears welled.
Graham dropped to his knees in front of me, never taking his eyes off mine.
“Max, take a slow… deep breath. I know it’s not going to feel like it’s helping right away, but I need you to try.
” He guided me through a few breaths, our eyes locked.
“Okay, look, pretty girl, I want you to tell me something you know. Something certain, because right now, you’re spiraling.
I know what that’s like and it can be a hard cycle to break. ”
“What if I—”
“No what ifs. Just truths.”
“I—I don’t know…” I sniffled.
He closed the distance between us and held my face in his hands.
“You’re so pretty,” I said, deflecting, but I couldn’t keep my cheeks from flushing as I stared into his eyes.
“No. Try again.”
“You have the most beautiful stormy sapphire eyes.”
He chuckled. “Okay, fine, we can go with that. Now something else. Deep breath. Breathe.”
“I love your one fang.”
“Good, now something not about me. Not about a person. What do you see?”
“You.”
“God, you’re a pain in my ass.” He shook his head, smiling. “Come on, be serious for a second.”
“I am. Every time I close my eyes—I see you. When I open them—you. You haunt my dreams, Graham. My thoughts—everything. No matter what I do, it’s always… you.”
“Well, at least we have that in common.”
“Graham, I’m so terrified we’re finally going to get to be together and somehow, I’ll fuck up.
I’ll say something… do something that reminds you too much of her…
or I’ll be too real. Too sad. Maybe even too much…
and you’ll leave again.” The tears burned as I looked to the ring Hunter had placed on my finger.
“Max, we’re going to be okay. I promise you. I’m here now.” He lifted my chin so my gaze met his. “I’m not leaving you, ever again.”
Then he kissed me, his lips pressing tenderly to mine. My body relaxed. My fists unclenched. And I could breathe.
I pulled back, our mouths just barely parting. “…but what about—?”
“Nuh-uh.” He shook his head, cutting me off. “We’re not worrying right now, remember?” Then he slammed his lips back onto mine.
This time his kiss claimed me, and I gave in, letting it consume the regret. The worry. The doubt. Until the only thing left… was trust.
Because finally—
I believed him.