Chapter 21
TROLLOP
Maggie
Annie prepared a plentiful breakfast of Belgian waffles shaped like reindeer and topped with maple syrup, sliced strawberries, and powdered sugar. The four of us—Mom, Annie, Hunter, and I, grabbed our coats and headed out the door so as to not miss the parade.
“Graham said we otta hang around the Five corners around noon,” Annie said, “says there’s fittin to be a good show. Gonna be police, firefighters, and EMTs in that order.” She counted them off on her fingers like they were all items on her shopping list.
I rolled my eyes at her. Of course she would get a schedule from Graham.
She had a thing for men in uniform—maybe that’s where I got it.
Back home she’d always make some comment about Officer Tightbuns or Sergeant Bicep.
Ah yes, good memories. Nothing like objectifying the opposite sex before lunch.
“Maggie.” Hunter’s hand found mine and I had to remind myself to let it stay there. “Don’t be cross with me, darling. I’m sorry about last night. I’m afraid I’ve been jealous—that Graham has had access to parts of you I have yet to unlock.”
Hunter sounded sincere. He always sounded sincere. My shoulder blades pulled back anyway, some animal part of me doing the math my mind refused to do.
“Oh, it’s alright.” My mouth said it. I wasn’t sure the rest of me agreed. “I could have been a little more sensitive of your feelings as well. It has to be hard, letting him into the most intimate parts of our life.”
He pulled me in, gripping at my coat. “I love you, mo chróí.”
I smiled, but I couldn’t say the words back.
He kissed me, then pulled back. His arms around my waist felt different than they used to. “I hate to bring more bad news, but I’ll have to skip the parade.”
Relief moved through me so fast I almost missed it. “What why?”
“Ernesto texted during breakfast. There is apparently talent lined up for most of the day.”
“Can’t you tell him no? Aren’t you the boss?”
Something moved across his face before the smile settled into place. “I could, aye. But you know how important it is to keep the talent fresh.”
My shoulders dropped. I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Fine.”
“Besides, you’ll have Katie and Derek once you get into town. You certainly don’t need me bringing the party down.”
“You wouldn’t bring the party down, Hunter.” I said, the words coming out like I was supposed to say them, but the truth was, he most likely would spend the day glowering at Graham as the float passed by, wondering if I was watching him with lust in my eyes.
“I would if I was busy looking for talent instead of at you.”
I blinked, a warm flush creeping up my neck. “Go. Just go. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll be back around four,” he said, parting us and kissing my cheek before getting in his Bentley and backing down the driveway.
Annie, Mom, and I piled into the Gremlin. Mom in the front seat with me and Annie in the back.
“Now, Maggie, I have a serious question for you.” Mom buckled in. “You aren’t planning on dragging out your engagement too crazy long, are you, dear?”
My eyes shot to the ring. Hmm—I’d actually forgotten about that.
“Mom.” I let out a breath and stuck the key in the ignition. “I’m not engaged.”
“Well, what was that little moment you two just had? You accepted his ring, didn’t you?”
“No, I didn’t really. If you do remember, he put it on me without an answer.” Why was I still wearing it? Oh, right. Because I’d cursed him.
“She’s right, Ophelia.” Annie popped in between our shoulders.
“Well, who asked you?”
“Mom, knock it off.” I started the car. “You wouldn’t be this excited if it was Graham I was kissing in the driveway, would you?”
Annie leaned back and crossed her arms. “She’s right again.”
“I most certainly would not. That officer is nothing but trouble.”
“Then why are you coming to the parade? His parade.”
“I’m trying to be supportive of you, honey.” Mom put her hand on her chest like she was hurt.
Annie scoffed. “Mmm-hmm, please, ya just tryin to keep an eye on Miss Gemma.”
“I most certainly am not!”
“Oh, you is to. You went so far as to drink that champagne even though it’s the devil’s juice to you.”
“That was nothing more than a moment of weakness… it hurts, seeing him go through all these women when none of them love him as much as he should be loved.” Mom stared out the window as we passed the colonial buildings and businesses. Like the view would end the conversation.
What was I supposed to say to that? Mom had never opened up to me before—not like this. All she ever talked about was how he betrayed her and he only thought with what was in his pants—not that she still cared about him.
“Ophelia, don’t worry yourself about your ex, cause that’s all he is, right? An ex?” Annie put a hand on Mom’s shoulder.
“Well, he is the father of my children. But yes. I guess he is.”
“Then don’t ya think it’s time to move on? Git yerself another man.”
“Well—” Mom pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror, fixing her hair. “I guess I could try to loosen up a little when it comes to the advances of the single men at the church.”
“What?” I said, nearly veering into a group of children dressed like elves. “You’ve had advances?”
“Oh, don’t be so shocked—of course I have.”
“Okay, so yeah… maybe you try that… go on a date.” I grimaced.
“A date?” Mom recoiled. “We didn’t say anything about a date. I was thinking more like ‘Hi.’”
“Hi, will do, won’t it, Maggie? She’s gonna need a big ‘ol stick to beat off all them men with ‘Hi’.” Annie cackled.
“Well, what do you suggest, little miss ‘single by choice’?”
“Let’s not worry about church today,” Annie said. “How ‘bout you relax. Try being… nice.”
“I am nice.”
I gave Mom a side-eye.
“Okay, okay. I’ll be nice.”
The crowd became impassable the closer we got to the intersection. We had to backtrack until we found a spot on Segman’s Street—five blocks away.
“Looks like we walkin’,” Annie said, pulling out a set of felt antlers on a headband, putting them on, and shaking her head so the little gold bells jingled.
I giggled and got out of the car, pulling my seat forward for Annie to exit.
As we entered the crowd, the children dispersed away from the intersection. Signs up ahead read Santa this way, but then pointed away from The Corners.
That’s weird.
“Isn’t that Katie up ahead?” Mom asked, pointing to a very festive goth girl.
I squinted. “Yep, and there’s Derek and Trix.”
Annie stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled. “Katie! Yoo-hoo!”
Katie spun around, saw us, and pointed us out to Derek before running through the crowd.
“Hey, girl!” She crashed into me and squeezed me tight. “You ready?”
“I… guess?”
“Hi Annie!” Katie wrapped her arms around her and they swayed back and forth for a moment. “I like your antlers.”
“I like yers too, sugar.”
Katie’s antlers looked real. They were all decked out in pinecones, bells, tinsel, and evergreens.
“Hi, Maggie’s mom.” She waved, then pulled her into one of her classic smothering hugs.
“Hello, dear,” Mom said, patting Katie on the back with a tight-lipped smile.
Annie’s eyebrows raised and she mouthed, Nice.
“Let’s get in there before they start, or we’ll never get in.” Katie tugged Mom and Annie’s arms, dragging them into the center of the crowd.
I followed behind. Thankfully, Katie’s antlers were so tall they were easy to spot in the crowd.
“Look, there’s Daddy and the rest of the family across the street,” I said, waving them down.
Just as Daddy waved back, squad cars, ambulances, and firetrucks blocked the roads, creating a sort of stage in the center where a float covered in fake snow and silver streamers sat.
Then the sound of jingle bells played over the town’s speaker system.
Graham climbed on a chair in the center of the float and lifted a megaphone to his mouth. “Alright, everyone, you know what time it is.” He spotted me and winked.
The butterflies in my stomach betrayed me because like I said, who didn’t love a man in uniform.
“All children and minors under the age of eighteen can take themselves over to Santa’s workshop for some cookies, milk, and a game of pin the nose on the Rudolph and presents!
!! Parents, once the song starts, we are not to be held responsible if you didn’t get your kids out.
I guarantee they’ll have questions that you don’t want to answer. ”
Graham waited a minute before signaling to someone over by the fire truck. Once he did, the opening to All I Want for Christmas by Mariah Carey started playing, and officers, firefighters, and EMTs all wearing Santa hats with their uniforms climbed aboard.
Captain Nettles got up on the float in a full Santa’s suit lip-syncing into a microphone.
He started walking seductively as the others lined up behind.
Once the bells started, they all ripped their shirts off—buttons flew, their pants hung low on their hips swaying to the beat. The crowd went fucking nuts.
My jaw dropped.
It was like a fucking Christmas striptease in the middle of town square.
Katie and Trixi held on to each other, bouncing like lunatic fangirls, waving their hands and screaming at the guys.
Derek was Derek, rolling his eyes and bopping his head to the song.
Mom was beet red—everything else about her screamed she wanted to die, but her toe was tapping to the beat. She looked at me. “What, I like this song.”
Annie had her phone out recording the whole thing, singing along.
By some strange inspiration, Captain Nettles pointed in our direction and directed a firefighter to hop off and come over.
The sweaty firefighter approached Mom. “Ma’am, your presence has been requested for a special surprise from Santa.”
I shook my head, wide-eyed. “I don’t… that’s not a good—”
“Oh, come on, Ophelia.” Annie nudged Mom. “Remember… loosen up,” she whispered.
Mom looked at me, just as wide-eyed as I was. “Oh, what the hell,” she said. Before she could let out a breath, the firefighter had her over his shoulder and on the float.
Graham’s brows raised while he continued his synchronized hip swaying.
I held up my hands and shrugged.