Chapter 6
I’m going to fuck Juniper Calhoun again.
I had the thought while I was organizing the tack shed two days ago.
I don’t know what led me to it. Maybe it was watching her ample hips sway as she walked Honeysuckle down to the corral, or perhaps it’s because my day isn’t complete without seeing her smile, even if it’s not directed at me.
She lit up when I asked her about the history of the ranch on our way back from Missoula, and the pleased expression on her face when I sat next to her at Sunday dinner had me craving more.
I’ve never wanted to surprise anyone before, but the way the corners of her mouth tip into a shy smile and her eyes glimmer when she’s happy makes me want to find ways to keep her on her toes.
I know fucking the boss’s daughter isn’t the best idea, but the desire I have for the sunshine-y woman with sapphire eyes overrules my logical reasoning.
I know I should ignore the spark she ignites in my belly when she throws her head back.
I shouldn’t be wondering if her bedroom looks how I think it does.
I shouldn’t be craving the feel of her pillowy lips against mine or wondering if she still makes that whimpering sound when she comes.
But I can’t help myself. She’s calling to me like a siren’s song, and I don’t think I can go an entire summer without getting another taste of her, even if it’s only once.
When the season ends, I’ll move on and forget about her, but while she’s in my reach, I can’t find any more willpower to stay away.
If I thought for a second she wasn’t interested, I’d move on and suppress what I’m feeling, but I’ve felt her eyes on me more than once. She doesn't think I notice the way she looks at me, and she obviously doesn’t see me looking back at her.
I’m not imagining the chemistry between us, and I want to give in. Just once. One more night is all I need to get her out of my system.
Having her pressed up against me in the truck made me want to tell Briggs to turn around and take us back, but I’m glad I didn’t.
She looks happy right now, and I can tell she needed this time with her friends.
They seem cool, even if some of their eyes linger on her a little too long for my liking.
Does she know how magnetic she is? How beautiful? More than once, I’ve caught a man staring at the way her breasts sit against the bodice of her dress. I’ve seen their eyes linger on her, full of interest, when she throws her head back in a laugh or flicks her glossy hair over her shoulders.
I’m not the jealous type, but I want to spray them all in the eyes so they can’t look at her.
She finishes her drink and sashays over to the bar, leaning up on her tiptoes as she orders something else. The bartender says something that makes her laugh as he puts her drink together.
One of the cowboys sidles up next to her, and my stomach plummets as her smile is directed at him. I can’t tell what they’re saying, but it looks like they’re flirting with the way she bats her eyelashes, and he leans against the bar.
Usually, I wouldn’t have any qualms about ordering another drink, but if there’s the slightest chance I’ll get Juniper in bed with me tonight, I need to have my wits about me. I finish the drink I’ve been nursing all night and make my way to the bar to get some water.
And to eavesdrop.
“You’ll have to show me your art sometime, honey,” the cowboy drawls, sliding his hand closer to Juniper’s. “I’m sure someone as beautiful as you is only capable of making things that are equally so.”
Her face flushes, but she removes her hand from the bar. “Thank you, Caleb. That’s very kind of you. Maybe you can stop by the ranch sometime, and I can show you.”
He’s clearly unaware that she isn’t interested because he leans closer to her. “What if we go out instead? I hear there’s a great new steakhouse in Helena. Are you free next Saturday?”
Juniper’s entire body goes rigid. “Oh, um. We have a big client coming next week, and Saturday will be busy with our send-off dinner.” She pulls out her phone, shaking it like she got a phone call. “Can I get back to you? I need to take this.”
“Oh, sure.”
Juniper hustles away, heading down the back hallway that leads to the bathroom.
One of Caleb’s buddies approaches him, giving him a slap on the shoulder. “So, did you do it?”
“Nah, man. I tried, though. She seemed… I don’t know… jittery when I mentioned leaving Copper Creek. I think you’re right about her never wanting to leave. She took a phone call and said she’d get back to me, but I don’t think she will.”
“Don’t know how she’ll ever find someone if she doesn’t get out of this town, but that’s not our problem, is it? At least you tried. You gonna try to get with Shiloh instead?”
“And risk the wrath of Cillian? No thanks.”
They walk away, talking about downloading some app and heading into the city for a hookup.
I’ll never understand men’s brains. Did he really ask her out for some type of experiment? He seemed genuinely interested in her, and he’s going to let a thing like her anxiety about leaving stop him from pursuing her?
Oh well. His loss. At least he wasn’t an asshole to her face.
After five minutes, Juniper still hasn’t returned. I don’t know what compels me to head in the direction, or how I know the back door being propped open is a sign that she’s outside, but I do.
I find her sitting leaning on the wall, her head tipped back, looking at the stars. The cool air kisses my skin as I walk out, and the door creaks, alerting her to my presence. Her head whips in my direction, and she straightens.
“What are you doin’ out here?” she asks, her voice a low whisper.
“I came to check on you. You rushed out of there fast and left him hanging.”
“Oh no. Is he upset? God, he must think I’m such a bitch. It was rude of me to walk out like that.”
“He doesn’t think you’re bitch. No one could ever accuse you of that.” It’s none of my business, and I know I don’t have any right to ask, but I can’t help myself. “Why did you run off on him?”
Juniper sighs, tipping her head back again to avoid my gaze.
“I don’t know. I mean, he’s nice enough.
We’ve seen each other a few times around town, and he doesn’t give me asshole vibes, but I clammed up when he mentioned going to dinner outside of town.
A new restaurant on a first date in the city is nightmare fuel, even if the person asking seems kind. ”
“What about it is nightmare fuel?”
“There’s a certain expectation to be ‘on’ during a first date, and I don’t know if I have that kind of energy right now.
A new restaurant means learning a new menu, and what if they don’t have the kind of food I like?
And driving an hour away with someone I don’t know, stuck in the car with nothing to do but talk, makes me nervous.
What if we run outta things to talk about?
What if there are too many awkward silences?
I hate awkward silence. What if we get halfway there and he decides he doesn't like me? Then we have to suffer through eating and the car ride back. It’s not worth the anxiety, even if I really need to get laid—and Caleb seems like he’d be a good candidate. ”
My brain gets stuck on six words.
I really need to get laid.
Words I didn’t expect her to say, especially to me.
I shouldn’t dwell on them. I shouldn’t acknowledge them.
She’s opening up to me for some reason, and learning about Juniper is suddenly becoming the only thing I want to do.
I’ve been researching anxiety before I go to bed at night.
I never realized there were so many kinds and that someone could have multiple types at once.
Something clicks in my brain. “Is that why you were so fidgety in the truck last week? You hated the silence?”
“Pretty much.”
“Did that also play into your panic attack? The fact that I was a stranger and we had to spend hours alone together?”
She nods, and I feel like an even bigger asshole.
“I’m sorry.” I hope she can feel the sincerity I’m trying to convey. I feel awful that I’ve caused her to panic twice.
“It’s okay. It wasn’t just that, obviously.
But…” She takes a deep, shaking breath. “I don’t know what game we’re playing.
You act like you don’t remember me. Are we still pretending we don’t know each other?
Are we trying to be friends or just cordial?
I don’t know how you want me to act around you. ”
Oh, sunshine, how could I forget you?
I stand in front of her, and when she tries to avoid my eyes, I cage her in, so she’s forced to look at me.
“You think I don’t remember you? You think I could forget any second of our time together? The way you smelled, the way you tasted, the way your whole body flushed when you came for me. I remember it all. The memories hit me like a truck when I walked in and saw you.”
Her brows furrow, and a little scowl forms on her lips. “You’re the one who acted like you had no idea who I was first! You embarrassed me, made me feel stupid—like I imagined the whole thing. I’m not keen on going through that again.”
“I’m sorry for that. I should have handled it better. It was rude of me to act like nothing happened between us. Let me make it up to you.”
“How?”
“You said you need to get laid. Let me take care of you.”
Her eyes widen in surprise. “That’s not a good idea. We work together. What if it ends badly?”
“I think we’re adult enough to handle fucking one time and not letting it affect how we work together.”
She licks her lips and squirms. She’s interested, just like I knew she was. Now I need her to admit it.
“Just one time?” she says. “This isn’t going to be like before. We know more about each other now. It’s not anonymous.”
“I know.” That’s why I want you more now than I did back then.
“What happens after?”
I shrug. “We go back to being coworkers. We don’t have to pretend we don’t know each other, but we keep things friendly and professional. I’ll only be here until September. I think we can handle it for three months.”
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, sapphire eyes searching mine like she’s waiting for me to take it all back. Like she’s trying to find some ulterior motive.
I’m half ready to get down on my knees and beg her to say yes. Obviously, I’ll respect her choice if she turns me down, but I have a feeling she wants to. She’s worried about the aftermath, and that’s valid, but we can handle it. We can go back to being coworkers.
We already know how the other tastes, and we’ve kept things professional. What’s one more time?
Finally, she sighs. “Just once. When… when were you thinking?”
I cup her face gently, running my thumb along the apple of her cheek. Her skin is so soft, so warm. “Do you always plan your hookups?”
“N-no, but—”
I silence her by sliding my thumb over her lips. She’s overthinking this, and that’s the last thing I want. I want her brain to be blank from pleasure.
“Don’t overthink it,” I whisper. “Can I kiss you?”